Chapter 16

Sophia had thought about the kiss that they had shared more times than she liked to admit to herself, and every time, she had felt the same butterflies in her stomach.

But never would she dare let it show in front of the Duke. In fact, she had successfully managed to avoid him for the last few days. Thankfully for her, he had been busy with his work, and the two scarcely had any time to spend together.

“Your Grace, if you do not mind,” Clara said to her in the morning as she brushed Sophia’s hair for her, “I have made an observation.”

“Tell me,” Sophia replied, looking at her own reflection in the mirror, “since when have I asked you to hold back on telling me anything?”

“Well, I know that I do not have any first-hand experience with what life is like for a newlywed, but still, it cannot be normal for a newlywed to be spending so much time on her own,” Clara noted. “I rarely see you with the Duke.”

Sophia shrugged, not wanting to explain herself so early in the morning.

“His Grace has been busy.”

And I hope he remains busy in the days to come.

“I just do not understand. Do you not miss him?” Clara asked as she put the final pins in Sophia’s hair.

Sophia wondered what the answer was to that question. She would be lying if she didn’t admit to feeling the urge to speak to him, especially late at night when she could not sleep. But Sophia always held back and reminded herself that she must put as much distance between herself and the Duke as possible. It was what was best for him.

“Define miss.”

“Well, Madam, do you not crave for his company?” Clara asked. “I often see the two of you go your separate ways after breakfast, and then I do not know if you ever see each other during the day.”

“Clara, not all marriages are the same. This is something that works for the Duke and me,” she explained. “We meet when we need to.”

Clara did not argue and instead just finished up the hairstyle that she was working on.

“Well, you are all done, Your Grace. Take a look.”

“Perfect,” Sophia said, “Thank you, Clara. I am so glad that you are here with me. It feels that I still have a small piece of home by my side.”

“Of course, Madam.”

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Clara opened it, and it was one of the maids of the house.

“Your Grace, the Dowager has requested that you come see her downstairs for an urgent matter.”

“Urgent?” Sophia began to feel nervous. “Well, I will be right downstairs.”

Navigating life in her new house had been challenging for Sophia. Even though she was already married to the Duke, she still wanted to make a good impression on the Dowager and keep it that way.

The Dowager was her mother-in-law, after all, and what she thought of Sophia held great weight.

“Clara, how do I look?” Sophia asked, sneaking a last look into the mirror in front of her.

“Beautiful as ever, Madam.”

“I shall have to take your word for it.”

When Sophia reached downstairs, she found the Dowager waiting for her in the parlor. She was sitting on the sofa, looking like a picture of elegance and grace as usual.

“Oh, good.” Anna looked up once Sophia walked in. “You are finally here.”

“Yes, I was told that you had to discuss something urgent with me?” Sophia asked, hesitantly.

“Why, yes. Take a seat.” The Dowager pointed at the sofa in front of her. “I feel that we have not had a chance to speak properly since the wedding.”

Sophia did not know why, but her heart had started thumping harder in her chest.

She felt nervous, as though she was just about to be served an indictment. It was all nonsense, of course, as Sophia had done nothing wrong. Still, Duchess Anna cast an intimidating impression, and it was hard not to feel that way in her company.

“How are you liking your life here at the Estate?” Duchess Anna asked in a precise manner.

“Oh, everything is good so far,” Sophia answered politely. “Everyone has also been very welcoming, and I cannot ask for anything better.”

Duchess Anna nodded.

“Good. These last few days have been relatively peaceful for you, but things are about to change now.”

“Change?” Sophia gulped, feeling her stomach tighten up. Of course, she automatically assumed the worst.

“Why, yes. Of course, you know that a duchess is expected to have a vibrant social life. You cannot spend your days locked away inside the four walls of this estate,” the Dowager continued. “Tell me, what is your opinion on balls?”

“I am not sure if I have enough of an opinion,” Sophia tried to answer politely.

In reality, she did not like them. One bit.

“Do you enjoy them?”

Sophia shrugged her shoulders. “I much prefer more intimate gatherings.”

Sophia knew that she had uttered the wrong answer when Duchess Anna cast a disappointed glance in her direction.

“Well, you must get accustomed to them. Tonight is the last ball in the London Season, and you should know that you are expected to attend, alongside the Duke.”

“Tonight?”

“Why yes.” The Dowager was observing Sophia carefully now, and Sophia could not help but wonder if this was some kind of test.

“I do not even know what I should wear.”

“I am sure that you can figure that on your own, can you not?” the Dowager replied pointedly. “You had no trouble doing so on your wedding day.”

Sophia’s cheeks reddened. Had she offended the Duchess by her choice of gloves?

“Your Grace…”

“Of course, I was a bit upset when I first saw that you had gone against the suggestions of not just the modiste, who spent so long designing your outfit for you, but also me.”

“My intention was not to upset anyone.” Sophia’s tone was apologetic.

“I know that it was not,” Duchess Anna replied. “I was upset initially, yes. But when you walked down the aisle, I realized that I changed my mind.”

“Did you?” Sophia’s voice was colored with shock.

“Yes, I realized that deciding for yourself signified your boldness. That is a characteristic that is much needed in a duchess,” the Dowager affirmed.

Relief washed over Sophia. So, she had not messed up completely, after all.

“I wish that you do the same tonight,” the Dowager continued. “You should choose a dress for yourself to wear at the ball. I trust you to make the right choice.”

Sophia noted, “I can do that.”

“Good.” A rare smile appeared on the Dowager’s face. “You will need all the confidence that you can muster up if you are to survive in this society. I will send the maid over with a selection of dresses to your room shortly.”

The Dowager fulfilled her promise, and a while later, Sophia found herself face to face with a rack full of choices.

Sophia had never been presented with such a wide variety of new dresses before. She ran her hands across the silk fabric, and she just knew that it was of the highest quality available.

Being the Duchess was not without its privileges…

Sophia went through the dresses, one by one. Each one was more stunning than the next. She was spoiled with choices.

But then, her eyes finally landed on a teal dress. It had a plunging neckline which exposed more skin than Sophia was used to showing, but it felt like love at first sight for Sophia.

When Sophia held it up against herself in the mirror, a gasp escaped her lips. The teal color complimented her skin perfectly, and she knew that this was it.

Sophia had found the perfect dress.

“I thought that the only reason I had to attend these balls was to find myself a wife,” the Duke said to his mother as he walked downstairs in his suit. She had been waiting for him at the end of the steps. “Why must I still attend them when I have gotten married now?”

“It is expected that a duke attends with his newly wedded wife,” his mother replied, fixing his cravat.

“I reckon you are going to break some hearts tonight due to you not being single anymore,” Jacob laughed from the corner. “I cannot wait to see it.”

“You seem to extract a strange sense of joy from seeing my discomfort,” Duncan shot back at his brother.

“Of course, that is what brothers are meant to do in the first place,” Jacob laughed.

“We should get going,” Duchess Anna announced. “I promised Lady Elizabeth that I would give her company for the entire night, and I do not want to keep her waiting.”

“Yes, we are all ready to go. We are just waiting on Sophia, but she should be here any… second.” The last part of the Duke’s sentence was followed by a stunned silence.

Standing at the top of the stairs was Sophia, but she did not look like her usual self. Clad in a teal gown that hugged her curves but still looked classy, she looked gorgeous.

“I am sorry if I have kept all of you waiting,” Sophia said.

“No need to worry over such a trivial thing. You are right on time,” Jacob replied and then nudged his brother gently in the ribs, dropping his voice down to a mere whisper. “Can’t take your eyes off her, can you?”

“Oh, be quiet,” Duncan shot back, but this time, he had to admit that it was true.

Sophia looked like a vision in that dress.

“Your Grace,” she greeted him as she got to the bottom of the stairs.

Duncan’s eyes drifted briefly to the low cut of her neckline, but he quickly looked back up at her face. It was also then that he realized that she had decided to wear gloves with the dress.

“Shall we go?” she asked, cheerfully. She did not seem to have any clue about the effect that she was having on him.

“Err…” Duncan cleared his throat. “Yes, of course. We should get going. You look beautiful tonight.”

Sophia blushed at his compliment and looked down at the floor.

“Thank you, Your Grace.”

The two of them sat together in a separate carriage from his mother and brother. Duncan was glad that he did not have his brother to tease him, but at the same time, being alone with Sophia when she looked like this was a challenge unto itself.

“Did mother pick out the dress for you?” the Duke could not help but ask, finally breaking the silence that hung between them in the carriage.

“Oh, no,” Sophia replied, smiling. “It was all my choice. She gave me the liberty to decide on my own.”

“I see.” Duncan furrowed his brow. “Then what was the reason behind you wearing these long gloves?”

Sophia shrugged her shoulders.

“I was told that it was a big event and that there would be many people in attendance. I felt that wearing gloves would be the most formal thing to do.”

“Sophia…” Duncan pressed, not buying her excuse. “Are you sure that is the reason? These gloves are entirely too long, and I know enough that they went out of fashion years ago. My mother would wear these, I’m sure.”

Sophia felt as though the Duke could see right through her.

Strange how he was able to do that, every single time.

“Why, yes. What else reason would I have?” Sophia replied. “Do you not think that gloves are more formal than without?”

“Yes, but I also know that the gloves hide your scars,” the Duke said bluntly. “You do not need to hide them. I told you this before.”

“I do not need to,” Sophia noted, “but I wish to.”

“Did mother say something to you about it?” he inquired.

“No, no one told me to do anything,” Sophia assured him. “I wore them on my own accord. It is not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal because you feel the need to hide yourself,” the Duke argued. “I wish for you to live life without hiding.”

Easier said than done. Sophia knew that there were going to be hundreds of judgmental gazes on her at the event. It would be best if she covered her scars rather than present them to the world.

“Trust me, Your Grace. This is what I want,” Sophia tried to convince him.

A sigh escaped his lips. “As you wish. I do not want to command your actions.”

When they reached the venue, Duncan put out his arm for her to grab onto. Sophia reminded herself that she must not get too close to him but then held onto his arm anyway.

“Are we meant to put on another show tonight?” Sophia asked, wanting to busy herself in conversation, so she did not feel the nervousness of the attention that she was about to receive shortly.

The Duke laughed in return.

“Of course. This might be one of our biggest audiences yet…”

“Then, let us not waste any time, shall we?”

Sophia mustered up all the courage that she had, and the two of them walked into the venue. Immediately, Sophia noticed heads turning in their direction, and some people began to talk amongst themselves.

“Oh, this is why I am not a fan of balls,” Sophia muttered. “I feel like a spectacle.”

“That just means that you are worth looking at,” Duncan replied. “Besides, you need to not be so scared of opinions anymore. I am here, and anyone who wishes to pick on you will have to go through me.”

There it was again, that strange warm sensation that spread all over inside of Sophia whenever the Duke said anything sweet.

“You are quite the gentleman,” she observed.

More whispers as they passed by. Sophia tightened her hold on the Duke’s arm. It was like he was an anchor that was keeping her from sinking.

“Sophia…” The Duke saw how her confidence was waning. “You do realize that no one here likely has one intelligent thought to their name? Why are you so intimated by them?”

“It is going to take me some time to get to use to this,” she explained. “I feel like I can just hear them saying awful things about me, even if they were not.”

“Would it help you if there was another voice to drown it all out?” he asked. The two of them had found a nice corner of the room now, and Sophia was happy that at least she did not have to weave through the crowd anymore.

“Another voice?” she asked, scrunching up her eyebrow.

“Yes, mine.” The Duke’s tone was assertive. “Remember me telling you that you should own up to your scars. Wear them like an armor.”

The Duke took her hand in his and gently slid off her glove before she even had a chance to protest.

To her surprise, she did not feel the urge to stop him. She watched as he slowly brought her hands to his mouth and kissed the contour of her scar.

It made her tremble, and she had to take a moment to compose herself.

“See?” he said, still holding her hands in his. “You look just as fine without it.”

“I will try and take your word for it.” She shot him a weak smile.

“I just want you to feel comfortable,” he explained and then a look of concern took over his features. “Have you been having any nightmares as of late?”

Sophia was surprised that he had brought up the topic in such a public place. Just as she was about to answer, a voice directed their attention elsewhere.

“Your Graces, congratulations on your recent nuptials. How delightful it must be to be wed to the Duke of Blackmoore….”

The voice was shrill, and it belonged to someone whom Sophia remembered from that first night when she had met the Duke for the first time.

“Barbara…”