Chapter 9

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CHARLIE

CHARLIE PRATT loved this time of day. He was the only one awake in the house, so it was dark and peaceful. Even the neighborhood was relatively quiet. Nobody was up and going to work yet.

No, it's Sunday , he realized. For whatever reason, most people didn't work on Sundays. But they did still get up and start their cars and fill the streets, going to different places and making too much noise. At this hour, though? He didn't have to listen to the squeak of bad brakes or the roar of an exhaust system going by. He felt almost alone in the world.

And this time of year, it was even better. Thanks to the time change last month, he now woke up at 4:30 in the morning instead of 5:30. It was the same time as far as his body was concerned, but the numbers on the clocks had to be changed. Charlie scowled at the thought. The entire process was stupid. But then when had the government ever done anything that was actually to people's benefit?

Charlie rubbed his eyes and pushed the thought away, not wanting to ruin his good morning. He padded quietly into the kitchen, where the coffee was already brewed and waiting for him. Charlie pulled out his mug, brown sugar, and creamer, then had to stop and bounce in place, so happy at the prospect of coffee that he couldn't hold it in. When he reached for the carafe, he made himself go perfectly still, not wanting the coffee to slosh out and make a mess. That would be annoying. And a shameful waste of good coffee.

He filled his mug, replaced the carafe, and bounced again as he reached for his spoon. Charlie stilled himself once more while he stirred, then picked up his coffee and took a sip.

Perfect . He closed his eyes and sighed, then took another sip, standing there in the dark kitchen while the world slept around him.

Charlie walked carefully back to his bedroom, watching his coffee to make sure he didn't spill. He set the mug on his desk, then debated closing his bedroom door. It would give him privacy and keep out some of the noise when his family started waking up, but he also didn't like feeling closed-in. He had to think for a moment about which of the two options would be worse. Finally, he decided he needed the quiet more than anything. He shut the door, sat down at his desk, and opened his laptop. The contrast between the bright screen and the dark room made him wince at first, but as his eyes adjusted, he felt even more isolated, making the shadows feel even darker. Charlie smiled and picked up his coffee.

The happiness was short-lived, though. When Charlie set down his coffee and reached for his laptop, the desktop image made his chest tight and his eyes sting. It was a photograph of his entire family, from back before Sabrina had died. The photograph showed Charlie, his brothers, his sister, and their parents all gathered in front of the Christmas tree in the living room, still in their pajamas, happy smiles on all their faces. That had been the last Christmas they all had together. Just a few months after that picture had been taken, Charlie's big sister was gone.

Charlie rocked in his seat. It wasn't fair. Sabrina had never hurt a fly, yet she'd died before her life ever really got started. Granted, the car accident had been partially her fault—she'd been texting while driving—but still. Charlie rocked faster.

That first Christmas without her had been really hard. Sabrina had been dead for months, but Charlie still expected her to be there with them, wearing her festive pajamas, sitting in front of the tree. He'd spent hours pacing the house, searching for her, waiting for her to appear. To come back.

It had gotten easier in the years since, with Charlie slowly but surely losing the context of having his sister there with them, but for some reason, this year was hitting him hard all over again. Yesterday, he'd almost even bought Sabrina a present to put under the tree. His parents gently talked him out of it, then suggested they change their holiday plans. Instead of celebrating Christmas there at home, what if they went down to visit his brother, Dakota, instead?

Charlie hated traveling, but he'd latched onto the idea. If he couldn't have Sabrina, Charlie at least needed her twin. He hated that Dakota had moved so far away, but his parents were almost always willing to drive him down there whenever Charlie insisted.

He was already packed. His bag sat ready by the door. Now all he had to do was wait for everyone to get up so they could get on the road.

And my Sky is coming! Charlie couldn't resist bouncing again, excited at the thought. He hated long car rides, but if his Sky was with him, it made things a little easier.

He tore his gaze away from the laptop and picked up his phone instead. Charlie opened the app that let him track Skylar's phone. Skylar had the same app, since Charlie had insisted he get it. Not that Charlie ever left the house all that much, but he liked knowing that Skylar could find him at any given moment.

Charlie searched for Skylar's phone signal and saw it sitting motionless, somewhere in San Francisco.

That had to be Skylar's apartment, since the signal was often there. But there was another place where the signal was often stationary, too. Charlie frowned. He actually had no idea where Skylar lived. Skylar had stopped allowing him to spend the night a few years back, saying that he'd had to move to a cheaper place and that his new neighborhood was noisy, so Charlie wouldn't like it. Charlie hadn't liked Skylar's old place, either, but apparently this one was worse.

Charlie's frown turned into a scowl. He wanted Skylar to come live with him. He'd even told his parents as much, then started planning to make space for Skylar in his bedroom. But Skylar had insisted that he had to live in the city. The Pratt house—deep in the suburbs—was too far away from his job.

The scowl gave way to a full-on pout. Charlie hated Skylar's job. Usually, he tried not to think about it, but sometimes, he couldn't help it. He didn't want other men touching his Sky! Still, he understood. Skylar desperately needed the money.

At least he didn't have to see it. Skylar kept Charlie as far away from his job as he could. Maybe that was the real reason why Charlie wasn't allowed to spend the night anymore. Maybe Skylar was taking clients at his apartment.

But his Sky would be all his for the next few days. They'd have their own room, but Charlie would have to remember to be quiet when they had sex. That was hard. He liked letting the noises out when he was inside his Sky. His parents had gotten used to it after years of Skylar spending the night, but where they were going, there might be strangers who could hear them. Charlie didn't like that. Being quiet was hard, but it would be easier than seeing the funny looks people would give him.

Charlie checked the app again. Skylar's phone hadn't moved, so his Sky was probably asleep. Charlie eyed the clock and grumbled. It was still very early. Even his parents weren't up yet. Charlie sipped his coffee and turned back to his laptop instead. He started playing a puzzle game, then had to stop after only a few minutes when breakfast time came around. Charlie got up and made himself some eggs, taking them back to his room so he could keep playing while he ate.

By the time his Sky finally arrived, Charlie had done his dishes, made breakfast for his parents, done their dishes, then cleaned the rest of the house so that it would be neat and tidy when they got back home in a few days. He'd also packed his lunch for the drive. The rest of his family would want to stop for fast food along the way, but Charlie refused to eat that junk. In the meantime, his middle brother, Quinn, had also arrived, with the new fiancée in tow. Charlie took their bags and loaded them into the back of Mom's minivan. As soon as Skylar walked through the front door, Charlie gave him a little wave, snatched his bag out of his hand, and headed for the garage.

“We going somewhere?” Skylar asked.

“Yeah,” Dad replied. “Sorry. I thought Charlie would have let you know. We've had a last-minute change of plans.”

Charlie blinked. Uh oh . He'd forgotten to tell his Sky they were going on a trip! There had been so much to do to get his mind wrapped around a change in his routine, nothing else had registered.

Dad eyed Charlie, the look on his face saying that he was going to tell Skylar something that he didn't want Charlie to hear. Charlie ducked into the garage and fit Skylar's bag into the van with the rest, then stepped back inside the house just as Dad was whispering, “Whatever you do, don't mention Mouse Mouse.”

Skylar's eyes widened, and he cut a quick glance at Charlie before giving a simple nod in response.

Damn it . Charlie rocked on his feet. He didn't want to think about Mouse Mouse. His little pet had died just a few days ago. Maybe that was why he was missing Sabrina so much harder this year. The grief was too familiar, a gaping hole where a source of joy had once been. His parents had offered to take him to the pet store so he could get a new mouse for Christmas, but Charlie hadn't decided yet.

It wouldn't be the same. He wanted his Mouse Mouse back.

“Anyway,” Dad went on, still talking to Skylar, “we're heading down to Paso to spend Christmas at Dakota's house, if that's okay with you.”

Charlie saw a funny look cross Skylar's face. It was a look he'd never seen there, so he didn't know what it meant. Skylar's cheeks turned slightly pink and his eyes widened a bit more than usual, but the look quickly vanished. “Oh, yeah,” Skylar replied, his tone sounding weird. “That's totally fine.”

“We'll get you back in time for whatever your work schedule is,” Dad went on.

Charlie grumbled. He didn't want to think about Skylar going back to work. The first itchy hints of a fit crawled beneath his skin. Before Skylar could respond to Dad, Charlie strode over to stand beside him and immediately took up rocking again.

Without a word, Skylar shrugged off his hoodie, rolled up the left sleeve of his t-shirt, and held out his arm.

Charlie bounced with joy and took Skylar's left hand with his own, then touched Skylar's arm with his right index finger. He always started at the empty heart just below Skylar's shoulder. Charlie touched the cleft point of the heart, traced the shape up and around to the left, then down past the heart's base point. The line continued, unbroken, slithering its way down Skylar's arm, connecting music notes, a stand of trees, a tea cup, and various other designs, all cleverly and seamlessly blending into one another. The line made its way back up the other side of Skylar's arm, reconnecting with the base point of the heart. Charlie followed it up and around the right side of the shape until his finger reached the starting point again.

He grinned and let go of Skylar's hand, feeling better. As soon as Skylar had the hoodie back on, Charlie grabbed his hand again, tugging him towards the garage.

Dad laughed. “Guess that's our cue to go. Alright, everyone. Let's hit the road.”

They all piled into the minivan—Dad and Mom up front, Charlie and Skylar in the middle, and Quinn with his fiancée in the back—but then Charlie had to get back out and check the house, making sure all the doors and windows were locked. Once Charlie was satisfied, Dad pulled the van out of the garage, then waited there at the end of the driveway until Charlie could see the garage door fully shut behind them.

The four-hour drive took forever . It didn't help that Skylar fell asleep right away, lying on his left side, trapping his arm where Charlie couldn't reach it. Charlie rocked himself, staring out the window, watching the miles go past. In the front seats, his dad kept both hands on the steering wheel while Mom reached across the center console and let a hand rest on Dad's thigh, keeping them connected. In the back seat, Quinn and his fiancée whispered and giggled. The noise was grating, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Quinn's last girlfriend had been much louder, not to mention smelly. Her perfume had been so heavy, it was enough to make Charlie feel sick, especially confined in a vehicle like this.

Charlie looked down at Skylar's head, resting in his lap. He played with Skylar's hair. It was very soft! Charlie liked that. He was sorely tempted to wake him, but his Sky looked so tired. That always happened when Skylar had to change his sleep schedule. Charlie hated that. Hated seeing Skylar struggle to adjust. He wanted his Sky to have a normal routine so they could always be awake together.

Finally, just when Charlie thought he couldn't stand to be in the car for another second, they spotted signs for Paso Robles. Charlie sat forward in his seat, excitedly pointing out directions even though Dad knew exactly where they were going. They crossed through downtown, then took the country roads that went out beyond the city limits. Charlie bounced gently, trying not to disturb his Sky but also eager to get to their destination.

Vineyards surrounded them on either side as they neared Living in Zin, the bed-and-breakfast that Dakota's husband owned. The long driveway took them straight up a hill covered in grapevines. Rows of bare, scraggly branches stretched off into the distance everywhere Charlie looked. It wasn't as pretty as it had been during spring and summer. The vines were wild and crooked now rather than full and green. But as Charlie jumped out of the van, the crisp winter air made him smile. Much better than the intense heat the last time they'd come down to visit.

Dakota and his three partners—Beau, Mav, and Ryder—came out of the house to greet them. Charlie ran straight for his big brother. Dakota and Sabrina had always looked strikingly similar, despite being only fraternal twins. Charlie burrowed against him, hiding his face.

“Hey, squirmy worm,” Dakota murmured with a laugh, carefully putting his arms around him. “Merry Christmas.”

The old nickname made Charlie smile, but then the greeting made him scowl. He pulled back and signed that it wasn't Christmas Day yet.

Dakota chuckled and held up his hands. “You're right. My bad.” He turned and gestured towards the house. “Come on. I know you'll want to unpack before anything else.”

Charlie ran back to the van to grab his and Skylar's bags. Everyone else milled around, swapping greetings and hugs. It was all too noisy. Charlie hurried to get inside, following Dakota upstairs. He stopped at the room Dakota normally gave him, but Dakota kept going down the hallway.

“We've still got guests in that one,” Dakota explained, gesturing for Charlie to follow him.

Charlie scowled and pointed at the door.

Dakota shook his head. “They were in the room before you guys decided to come down. I can't kick them out. They're paying guests. But I made sure this room also has a bed pointing east, okay?”

Charlie hesitated, then trudged off after his brother. He waited for Dakota to unlock the door, then stood in the open doorway and studied the room. Charlie took a moment to orient himself, making sure the bed really did point east. Once he was satisfied with that, he stepped inside and looked around some more. The room was a little smaller than the one he was used to, but the natural light was good, and the attached bathroom layout looked the same.

“Is it okay?” Dakota asked.

In answer, Charlie left his shoes by the door, then set down the bags and started unpacking.

Dakota chuckled. “Come down when you're ready.”

Charlie was almost done unpacking when his Sky came up, still looking tired. He helped Skylar take off his shoes, jeans, and hoodie, then pulled the curtains shut to make it dim while Skylar climbed onto the bed.

“I just need a couple more hours,” Skylar promised him. “Then I'm all yours.”

Charlie considered lying down next to him, but his body rejected the idea. It wasn't sleepy time. Not for him, anyway. He didn't really want to go downstairs and have to deal with all the people and noise, but he didn't want to sit there and wait for Skylar to wake up, either. He finally slipped out of the room and shut the door, then padded down the steps to the entryway. Voices floated out from the tasting room at the back of the house. Charlie let out a groan and headed that direction.

To get there, he had to pass through the sitting room first. Charlie stopped in his tracks, staring at one of the armchairs. That was where the nice man had been sitting the last time Charlie was here. The man had been a complete stranger, but something about him made Charlie feel safe. When noise had erupted all around him, Charlie had burrowed into the man's lap, needing the comfort.

Just a thought of the man made his penis start to get hard. Charlie frowned. He had no idea why that happened. His penis only ever got hard for Skylar. Nobody else. Yet this strange man had the same effect on him.

Charlie wanted to see him again. To sit in his lap again. He wanted to hear the man's soothing, deep voice and feel those big, strong arms around him, keeping him safe from all the noise.

But what would Skylar think if he found out?