Chapter 61

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SKYLAR

SKYLAR GOT back from his appointment, his wallet considerably emptier, but his heart lighter. It had been all he could do to tear himself away from the mirror after the design was finished. The wolf and mouse were perfect. He felt whole, somehow. Like a piece of himself had been missing, and now it was there. Part of him. Forever.

Yet it was bittersweet. Permanently marking his skin—carrying a mere representation of Ward and Charlie—would never be the same as having the men for real. Still, this was better than nothing. His lifeline was complete. He could have Ward and Charlie on his skin and in his heart for the rest of his days, no matter what came his way. At least one small part of him would stay clean and whole.

Skylar gave himself a careful sponge bath, keeping away from the new ink, then bundled up in his pajamas. He sat up in bed, watching TV, pretending to rest, right up until Uncle Zeke came to ask if he was hungry for dinner. Skylar dutifully got up and ate, then helped with the dishes before going straight back to bed.

He eyed the time. By all rights, he should start adjusting his sleep schedule back to days so he could be used to it again before he went back to work. His body protested it, though. He wanted to live a normal life. Have a normal routine. Now that he'd spent so much time with Charlie, so many consecutive days waking up and going to bed at the same hour, his body craved that continuity. Charlie would go to bed by eight this time of year. Skylar decided he'd do the same. Just for a few more days.

That gave him a little over an hour to kill. Skylar eyed his phone. It was off, of course. He knew he could turn it on and simply delete the tracking app so Charlie couldn't find him, except that would mean letting go of one last link to the boy. Besides, he really need to let the phone go. Ship it back to the Pratts and be done with it. He'd have to do that on Monday, after the holiday craziness was over. As much as he didn't want to give it up, he'd have to make himself. Then figure out how to afford a new phone and set up his library access again.

Skylar sighed and reached for the TV remote instead, then gave a start at the sound of a vicious pounding on the front door.

The hell?

He threw back the covers, got up, and opened the bedroom door. Skylar peeked out, watching Uncle Zeke storm away from the kitchen as the deep, booming knocks continued.

“ Alright, alright ,” Uncle Zeke grumbled. “ I'm coming .” There was a tiny pause before Uncle Zeke said, “ You? ”

“ Where is he? ”

Skylar gasped.

Oh fuck . That was Ward! What the hell was Ward doing there? He crept out of the room, his legs seeming to have a mind of their own while his heart beat frantically, telling him to go back to the room and hide.

“ She's resting –” Uncle Zeke began, making Skylar wince.

“ He ,” Ward bit off right before Skylar stepped out from the hallway, giving himself a direct view of the man. Ward spotted him. His expression softened, his eyes wary yet full of hope. “Sky,” he gasped.

Skylar sucked in a breath. He had to hug himself to stop his hands from shaking as he took a step closer. “What are you doing here? How did you find me?”

Uncle Zeke muttered an excuse and walked away, leaving them alone. Ward took a step inside the apartment, his gaze focused on Skylar as he moved.

“Charlie,” Ward explained. “He saw your phone come on this afternoon.” Ward breathed a laugh. “He tried to come after you. Tried to get on a train.”

Skylar's eyes went wide as his heart raced with panic. “Oh my god. Is he–”

“He's fine,” Ward insisted, nearly closing the distance between them. He reached out and framed Skylar's face with those big, warm, strong hands of his. “Sky? He's okay. He's safe. I promise. We got to him in time.”

Skylar let out a shuddering breath and hugged himself tighter.

“He saw your phone had appeared at the airport,” Ward went on. “He was bound and determined to go down there and question them, find out where you went.”

Skylar winced as tears formed on his eyelashes.

“He never accepted that you were gone for good,” Ward continued. “He never stopped trying to figure out a way to find you. He did what I should have done. I should have tried to come after you the minute I found out you'd left.”

“Ward–”

“I should have done so many things,” Ward continued. “Starting with this.” He moved in closer and crouched down, putting them at eye level, then held Skylar's gaze, unblinking. “I love you.”

Skylar froze, staring at the man. His knees buckled, but Ward caught him, holding him steady until he managed to stand again. “What?”

“I love you,” Ward repeated insistently. “I should have told you that every day. A hundred times a day. But I was afraid. Afraid to say it, and to not hear it in return. Afraid I'd make you feel smothered or trapped.”

Skylar shook his head. “I never–” He broke off, too choked up with emotion to speak.

“You've endured so much. You've been through hell, and you deserved to be free. I wanted you to be free more than anything. I wanted that for you. And if I ever did or said something that made you feel even the least bit controlled or confined, I never would have forgiven myself. But I went too far the opposite way, didn't I? I was afraid to hold on too hard, so I didn't hold on hard enough.”

Skylar choked out a sob. “I thought you didn't want me. Or Charlie. Not really. I mean, I thought you did, but it was so easy for you to let Charlie leave–”

“It wasn't,” Ward swore, taking Skylar's hands and holding them tight. “It killed me, having to drop him off and come back home without him every time. And when we got back to find you gone–”

“Wait,” Skylar interrupted him. “ 'We?' ”

“Yeah. We were about an hour out when Charlie changed his mind. He said he wished he could stay forever.”

Skylar gasped.

“But you know he hates the apartment,” Ward continued. “So I told him we could look for a new place. All three of us. We could pick a place together where we're all comfortable and happy. I wish you could have seen his face, Sky. He was so excited. We turned right back around. Couldn't wait to get home and tell you. But you were gone.”

Skylar curled in on himself. Oh fuck . If he'd just delayed a few minutes—if he'd hesitated even a little bit—Ward and Charlie would have returned before he'd gotten a chance to leave, and everything might have been different. He pulled his hands free and covered his eyes. “This is all my fault.”

“No, it's not,” Ward murmured, pulling Skylar's hands away from his face. “It's mine. I am so sorry, sweetheart. You deserve to be loved. To have a home. Family. Safety. And I should have made it clear that was what I wanted, too. I'm sorry I failed you.”

Skylar shook his head. “You saved me. You took me away from here. I was so grateful–”

“But you wanted more.”

Skylar nodded. “And I was afraid to ask for it. I don't deserve it.” Skylar swallowed hard, desperately clinging to Ward's hands. “I'll never be free of my past. How could you possibly want me, knowing what I am? I didn't want you to have to explain me or make excuses or–” He broke off with another sob.

“Sky? I want you. And I'm not afraid to explain you. We can tell people as much or as little as you want. That's up to you. Whether we tell the truth or make up a lie, that's your choice. And whatever you decide, I will support it one hundred percent.”

Skylar grimaced. “I just don't want you to ever be ashamed of me.”

“I could never be ashamed of you. Sky? I'd be proud to call you mine. I mean it. You're brave and strong. A survivor. You're beautiful and smart and so incredibly caring. I admire the hell out of you. I will gladly tell the whole world that you're mine, if you'll let me.”

Skylar sniffed. “Wh-What do you mean?”

Ward swallowed hard, but he held Skylar's gaze as he lowered himself to one knee.

Skylar froze, his eyes going wide. No way . Was this really happening? This couldn't be real. He had to be dreaming.

Ward gave his hands a gentle squeeze. “Marry me.”

Skylar gasped.

“I already asked Charlie,” Ward continued, “and he said yes . It won't be legal, not with three of us–”

Skylar threw his arms around Ward. “I don't care!” he cried as his heart beat wildly against his ribs. “Oh fuck. Do you mean it?”

Ward pulled back just enough for his face to come into focus. “I've never meant anything more in my life.”

Skylar burst into tears. Ward held him tight, rubbing his back, murmuring soothing words, telling him over and over that he loved him. Skylar soaked it all up, still certain that it was only a dream.

But when he pulled back and saw the mixture of hope and wariness in Ward's eyes, he knew it wasn't a dream. It was real.

“Yes,” he gasped. “Yes! Oh fuck. Really?”

Ward grinned. “Really. We can do it at Christmas, just like you said you wanted.”

Skylar frowned, then recalled the conversation they'd had the night they met. “Holy cats. You remember that? Fuck, I don't want to wait that long. A year is so far away.”

“Then we'll do it this Christmas.”

Skylar blinked. “Seriously? But that's not even a month away.”

Ward shrugged. “Unless you want a whole big–”

“No! Hell no. I don't need the whole charade. I just didn't think you were that sure.”

“I'm that sure. I'd marry you boys right this minute if I could.”

Skylar burst into tears again while Ward held him. He was afraid to let go, afraid he might fall apart. But Ward kept him together.

“Let's get your things,” Ward said. “Get you out of here.”

Skylar nodded rapidly. “Okay.” He started to turn away, then spotted Uncle Zeke, standing several feet behind him, watching them.

Uncle Zeke studied him for a moment, then gave him a little smile. “Go.”

Skylar gasped. He stood there, frozen, staring at the man. When Uncle Zeke nodded towards the guest room, Skylar ran to him, gave him a quick hug, and hurried off to pack his things. When he came back out, bag in hand, he saw the two men silently assessing one another.

“Take care of her,” Uncle Zeke said, then quickly added, “Him. Sorry.”

Ward gave him a nod. “I will.” He looked at Skylar. “Ready to go home?”

Skylar's breath caught in his throat. Home . That sounded amazing. He burrowed into Ward's side and let the man lead him out of the apartment. Skylar glanced back once, giving Uncle Zeke a parting nod, then turned away, feeling the weight of a mountain drop off his shoulders, replaced by the warm, comforting presence of Ward's arm.

“Is Charlie here?” Skylar asked as they got into the elevator car.

“He stayed behind,” Ward explained. “He didn't want to slow me down. But I've got a whole string of texts from him. I saw them when I got here.” Ward chuckled. “He said if I found you tonight, we have to come straight back. He's staying at Dakota's place, but they're going to leave the front door unlocked for us. And he told me which room he's in.”

“That'll be really late,” Skylar realized. It would be hours before they got back to Paso Robles.

Ward held Skylar's face with both hands. “If you want to get away from here, I'll drive all night if I have to.”

Skylar's lower lip trembled.

Ward gave him a kiss, then paused, a curious look on his face as his thumbs brushed along Skylar's jaw.

Oh shit . “I'll shave,” Skylar blurted out. “I'll do it right now. Or–” He looked around, trying to figure out how to manage it.

“Sky,” Ward interrupted him.

“You hate it, don't you? I get it. You're still getting used to being with a guy and–”

“Sky,” Ward stopped him again. He bent down and looked him in the eyes. “Do you like it?”

Skylar tried to lie, but between the tone of Ward's voice and the firmness of his gaze, he knew he had to tell the truth. “I do,” he admitted. “I really do. I like looking in the mirror and seeing a man staring back at me. An obvious man. No question or ambiguity.” He paused. “It's kinda itchy, though.”

Ward laughed and nodded, like he knew what Skylar meant.

“But I don't even care about that,” Skylar went on. “I like it. I really like it.”

“Then I like it, too,” Ward murmured.

Skylar hesitated. “Are you sure? Does it feel weird? Be honest. If you don't like it–”

“I'll get used to it,” Ward said, his tone not allowing for any argument. “Besides, nothing matters more to me than you feeling comfortable in your own body. Okay?” He paused, a smile slowly taking over as he studied Skylar's face. “This is a really good look on you, actually. Very handsome.”

Skylar's chest swelled with joy.

Ward kissed him again. No hesitation. Then he pulled back and gave Skylar's hand a squeeze. “Let's go home.”

Skylar grinned as fresh tears of relief filled his eyes. He started to follow Ward out of the elevator car, then jerked to a stop. “Wait.”

Ward turned back, his gaze going wary.

“Nothing happened,” Skylar blurted out. “I need you to know that.” He stepped closer to Ward, desperately clutching his hand. “I lied and told Uncle Zeke that I'd just had surgery, so I couldn't do anything yet. Nothing happened. I swear. I haven't been with anyone since you and Charlie.”

Ward bent down. “Sky? It's okay. I believe you.”

Skylar's breath caught in his throat. “I'll get tested again if you want–”

“Sky, stop.” Ward gave him a kiss. “I believe you, sweetheart.” He smiled. “You're ours. You hear me? Ours forever.”

Skylar grinned with relief and started crying all over again.

Ward took his hand, gave it a squeeze, and led him outside.

They got into Ward's truck and fought holiday traffic on their way out of the city. Then all down the freeway. It was after midnight when they finally reached Paso Robles and made their way out the dark, empty country roads to Living in Zin.

Ward shut off the headlights as they pulled into the parking lot. They quietly got out, let themselves into the house, and locked the front door behind them before creeping upstairs. Ward found the room, and they tiptoed inside.

Charlie was fast asleep, sprawled out in the middle of the bed. Skylar covered his mouth, stifling a fresh sob. He was exhausted, but all that faded at the sight of his best friend.

Ward quietly set down Skylar's bag, then knelt to help Skylar out of his shoes before taking off his own, leaving them next to Charlie's right beside the door. Skylar was already in his pajamas, so he carefully slid under the sheets, trying not to disturb Charlie, then watched as Ward stripped down to his underwear before climbing in on the other side.

Skylar reached across Charlie, feeling the tug of the wrapping on his fresh ink. His breath caught in his throat. He couldn't wait to show them. But all that mattered in that moment was that they were together.

Charlie gave a sleepy groan, his face scrunched up in frustration. Then he gasped, clawing blindly at Skylar's shirt. Under the sheets, in the faint moonlight, Skylar saw Charlie's other hand do the same, reaching for Ward.

Skylar and Ward moved in close, trapping Charlie between them.

Charlie gave a long, quiet squeak of pure joy, then immediately settled back down.

Skylar looked across at Ward. It was hard to tell in the dark, but it almost looked like the big man had tears in his eyes. Skylar sniffed. “Ward?” he whispered.

“Yeah, kitten?” Ward whispered back, his voice thick with emotion.

“I love you.”

Ward beamed at him. “I love you, too. Both of you. So much.”

Charlie gave a sleepy little chirp .

Somehow, Skylar heard a thousand words in that tiny sound. Love. Happiness. Home. But, more than anything, he heard the three little words that really mattered.

Skylar closed his eyes and had the best night's sleep of his life.