Chapter 49

________

SKYLAR

SKYLAR INWARDLY cursed.

Ward and Charlie looked so good together. So natural and right. He saw it more and more every time Charlie came down to stay.

Skylar swallowed hard as a wave of sadness and envy threatened to overwhelm him.

He clenched his hands in his lap as he watched Ward and Charlie come together. Even not being able to feel it, Skylar saw it happen. He knew their faces so well. The way Charlie's eyebrows went up while his lips formed an O , and how Ward's brow furrowed, almost as though he were in pain. Except Skylar knew better. He could almost feel the pulse of the man's cock inside him, just by looking at his face.

Fucking hells . He was dying to feel that for real again. But would he? When he'd reached for Charlie's cock, wanting to be part of their intimacy in some small way, Ward's gentle, warning tone had felt like a dismissal. Like he wasn't wanted. Deep down, Skylar knew that wasn't Ward's intention, but the feeling stuck.

They didn't need him.

Skylar sat quietly as Ward and Charlie got up, tidied the bed, and went to take a shower. He listened to the water running. Listened to the gentle murmur of Ward's voice, though he couldn't make out the words. Skylar pictured the man washing Charlie all over, being thorough and gentle. He imagined Charlie burrowing against the bigger man, seeking every bit of comfort Ward had to offer.

While Skylar sat there, all alone.

He blinked and looked away. It wasn't like he could join them. He knew that. Doctor's orders. But it also felt like a glimpse of the future, of a time when he was off on his own, leaving Ward and Charlie behind.

They'd be alright. They'd have one another.

Skylar failed to wrestle his emotions under control before the pair got out of the shower.

“Hey,” Ward murmured as a frown took over his face. He padded into the room with a towel around his waist and reached out to gently grab Skylar's chin. “Baby? What's wrong?”

Skylar sniffed and shook his head. “Nothing.”

“Are you in pain? Is it time for your meds yet?”

“No, it's–” Skylar scrubbed at his eyes. “I think I'm just tired.”

Charlie raced over with a sheet of paper in his hands. It looked like the post-op instructions. He pointed insistently at it, and Ward bent down to read whatever Charlie was showing him.

“Ah. Right. Emotional side-effects from your body adjusting.” Ward frowned again. “But if it's something else–”

Skylar shook his head again. “It must be that,” he said, latching onto the suggestion. “Maybe I just need a nap, too.”

“Okay,” Ward slowly replied, though his expression was dubious. He and Charlie quickly got dressed, then Ward bent over Skylar and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Get some sleep.”

Skylar managed a smile, but it fell right off his face the moment Ward and Charlie left the bedroom, shutting the door behind them. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

The next thing he knew, Skylar woke to the sound of raised voices. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, then checked the time. Over an hour had gone by, completely unnoticed. Jeebus. Maybe he really had simply been tired.

One of the voices grew in volume, sounding almost hysterical, then cut off abruptly, interrupted by Ward's firm but gentle tones. Skylar couldn't make out the words. He waited, listening, and was about to get up and go investigate when he heard footsteps just outside the bedroom door, followed by a soft knock.

“ Sky? ” Ward opened the door and peeked into the room. “Hey. We didn't wake you, did we?”

Skylar shook his head. “What's going on?”

“Adam's here to see you. I told him this wasn't a good time, but he's insisting.” Ward paused. “If you're not up for company–”

Skylar pushed his hair back and scrubbed his hands over his face. “No, it's fine. I'll just–”

“Don't get up,” Ward insisted, pressing him back against the pillows. “You rest. I'll have him come in.”

Skylar settled back with a sigh and waited. He heard a few more harshly spoken whispers, followed by rapid footsteps.

Adam sprang into the bedroom doorway before lurching to a stop, staring at him intently.

“Hey,” Skylar murmured.

“Hey,” Adam replied, biting off the word through clenched teeth. He took a deep breath, then stepped into the room and shut the door behind him.

Skylar fidgeted under Adam's scrutiny. He combed his fingers back through his hair, then tugged the sheets up higher over his lap. “Sorry. I must look awful.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “ Pfft . Please. You saw me shitfaced and grieving and stinking of my own vomit, remember?” he said, clearly referring to the early days when they'd first met, almost a decade ago. He waved a hand at Skylar. “This is nothing.”

Skylar opened his mouth to reply, but before he could manage it, Adam exploded.

“You have been living here for weeks and you never even thought to tell me ?”

Skylar winced.

“Why didn't you tell me?” Adam went on, throwing up his hands. “We could have hung out. I could have introduced you to all my trans friends.”

“I–”

“And then this!” Adam went on, gesturing wildly at Skylar. “I mean, you didn't tell me when you had top surgery until after the fact, either, but–”

“You're gonna scare Charlie,” Skylar warned him.

“I need to be dramatic!” Adam snapped, then huffed out a breath and sank carefully onto the edge of the bed. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly, almost sounding meek. “Please tell me that you're okay.”

Skylar reached out and took his hand. “I'm fine.”

“Are you in pain? Do you need anything?”

“No. I'm okay. Really.”

Adam squeezed his hand back, holding on as he studied him. “How does it feel?”

“Honestly?” Skylar gently rested his free hand on his belly. “I'm not sure it's fully hit me. That it's finally over, I mean. It took so long to get here, it doesn't quite seem real yet. There were times when I thought it would never happen.”

“I thought the same thing after my top surgery,” Adam said with a nod. “Hell, I still keep touching my chest all the time, just to make sure the damned things really are gone.”

Skylar chuckled. “And you go to put on a shirt without a bra and feel like you're doing something wrong.”

“Yes!” Adam exclaimed. “Holy shit, yeah. It's such a weird feeling.”

“Nice, though.”

“So nice.” Adam touched his own chest, then let his hands fall heavily to his lap. “Fuck. I kinda envy you. I want Daddy to fuck me bare so bad, but it was all I could do to get through this ,” he said, pointing at his chest.

Skylar winced, well aware of Adam's tragic history when it came to surgery. “How'd you find out I was here?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Dakota. We were out shopping when he got a text. He gave this huge sigh of relief, then told me it was from Charlie, letting him know 'they' were back in town,” Adam explained, making air quotes with his fingers. “So then he told me all about you and Charlie coming to stay here with Ward and how you'd all gone to San Jose for a surgery and Dakota was anxious about the whole thing because apparently Charlie hates long car rides. Anyway, when he said you'd been staying here for a while, I made him give me this address because I had to see it for myself. I can't believe you never told me! Not even a text or anything!”

Skylar winced again. “I wasn't sure how long I'd be here. It all just sort of…happened.”

Then Skylar told him everything. How he and Ward met. The way things developed over the months, especially once Charlie became part of it all. How Skylar couldn't survive another minute in his life, and how Ward had come to his rescue, whisking him away from the city. How Skylar had been hiding there in Ward's apartment ever since.

“But now I feel so fucking useless,” Skylar went on. “Ward won't let me help with rent, even though I'm literally living here. Not that I can really afford it. Especially now. The surgery took just about everything I had. And I was going to try getting a job, but Ward pointed out that I'd have to quit for this, anyway,” he continued, waving a hand at himself. “I mean, he was right, of course. It would have been pointless to try starting something that would only last a couple weeks. Hell, I might not have been able to find a job as it is. It's not like I can share my work history. And what could I possibly get with a blank résumé? Nobody's gonna hire a guy my age without any apparent job experience whatsoever.”

Now it was Adam's turn to wince in sympathy.

Skylar lowered his voice even though the door was closed. “But I've been bored out of my mind when Charlie's not here, and I hate feeling like I'm taking advantage of Ward.”

“I doubt he'd see it that way.”

Skylar managed a shrug. Adam was right, of course. Ward had insisted that Skylar was the furthest thing from a burden. Still, it didn't feel fair to the man. “He's done so much for me, and I'll never be able to pay him back.”

Adam breathed a laugh. “I feel the same way about John sometimes. And not just about money, though there it that. I have way more than he does, but he'll only let me pay exactly half of our expenses and no more. It was all I could do to convince him to let me do the repairs on his rental, since he's working and I'm not.”

“You're not?”

Adam shook his head. “Not since I got fired from the coffee shop last year. I keep house for us, mostly. Which is honestly kinda nice. John likes things clean and tidy, so I go through a list of chores every day, which keeps me busy. And I can blast some music while I do it. That's always fun. I love seeing the pride on his face every night when he comes home. It's so nice to give that to him. And when I'm done with chores, I run errands or write songs or hang out with friends. But right now, I'm busy learning home improvement, if you can believe it. The last tenants didn't tell John about some problems with the house, so once they were out and he inspected the place, he found all sorts of things that needed fixing. John normally would have done it all himself, but that would have eaten up our weekends, so I offered to do it while he's at work.”

“Do what, exactly?” Skylar asked with a laugh, trying to picture Adam with so much as a paint roller in his hands.

Adam blew out a breath. “Let's see. I've fixed a toilet. That one just about killed me, but I did it. You should have seen the surprise on John's face. I've scrubbed and scoured every inch of the house, though of course that was easy. Patched some holes in the walls. I still need to replace a light fixture that isn't working. But right now, I'm in the middle of repainting every room. I mean, I get that white walls are common for rentals, but they're just so fucking boring . I'm trying to convince John that a touch of color won't hurt anything. That's where I was with Dakota earlier. We went to the home improvement store. I needed more paint, and he needed a new flapper valve for one of the guest room toilets at the B-and-B, so we went together. Can you imagine? A couple of gay boys running around Lowe's?” Adam threw his head back and laughed.

Skylar couldn't help laughing with him.

“You guys should totally come check out the house when I'm done with it,” Adam went on. “I mean, Dakota says that Charlie would love to live in the country, and I bet Ward wouldn't mind. John offered the place to him and he said that Ward seemed interested, even if he did turn it down. Plus, John and I are on the same property, so if you guys moved there, you and I could hang out all the time! How cool would that be? Just like the old days, but even better. You and I could be happy little househusbands for our daddies, and we could spend our free time having jam sessions. Hey! We could get you a piano. There's a perfect spot in the rental where one could fit–” Adam broke off abruptly. “Sky? What's wrong?”

Skylar blinked rapidly. Shit . “Nothing,” he lied.

“Fuck. Listen to me, sitting here, chattering away while you're recovering. I'm so sorry. I should let you rest. Or can I do anything? Do you need pain meds or–”

Skylar waved a hand. “I'm fine.”

Adam studied his face. “If you're sure.”

“I'm sure,” Skylar said, managing a smile.

“Okay. Well, I'll get out of your hair. But call me when you're feeling up for company, okay? Or if you feel like going out. We'll take it real easy. I remember Morgan having a hell of a time, being stuck in the house after his surgery. But you can do some light walking, right? Shit. Here I go again.” Adam laughed. “Okay. Really going now.” He bent down and gave Skylar a gentle hug. “It was so good to see you.”

“You, too,” Skylar said, resisting the urge to hold on tight.

“Get some rest,” Adam insisted, taking a step back. “And do everything the doctors said. Okay? I mean it. Everything. No cheating.”

“I will,” Skylar promised.

“Good. Okay. See you soon!” Adam flashed him a smile and a wave from the doorway, then vanished from sight.

Skylar swallowed hard and turned away, blinking rapidly. Adam had outlined such a beautiful dream.

If only it could come true.