Chapter 35

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SKYLAR

SKYLAR ZONED out to the gentle rhythm of the truck's tires on the road.

He couldn't sleep. As much as it was usually easy for him to simply drift off in the car, he was far too wound up to relax.

Oh fuck. What the hell have I done? He'd quit his job. Walked away from his apartment. From his life. Everything. Not everything , he realized. Not yet, anyway. Ward had seen to that.

Skylar carefully shifted closer to Charlie, sorely tempted to crawl right into the boy's lap. To never let go. He wished Ward could be holding him, too. A part of him still itched to run away—to have a clean break—but a bigger part of him felt sick at the thought of losing this. Of losing these two men.

“Charlie?” Ward murmured. “How's he doing?”

Skylar kept his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep, but that meant not being able to see Charlie's response.

“Okay,” Ward replied, sounding disappointed.

Shit . Could Charlie tell how tense he was?

“And how are you, buddy?” Ward asked. “You okay? Need anything? Bathroom? Food?” After a brief pause, Ward said, “Okay. You let me know if you do.” He paused again. “We should be home in about an hour.”

Home . Skylar clenched his jaw and swallowed hard. Fuck . What even was that? He didn't have a home. Despite having a place to lie down every night—every morning, rather—Skylar felt like he hadn't had a real home in over ten years.

He pictured Ward's apartment, trying to recall the glimpse he'd gotten back in December. Pictured himself coming home to that place after working a normal day job. Greeting Ward. And Charlie, of course. Sitting down to dinner together. Curling up in bed at night, just the three of them. Spending the weekends sprawled on the couch with a book. Making dinner together. Running errands together. A normal, safe, simple, happy life.

Skylar sucked in a breath and tried to stifle a sob. He'd never have that. Ward's place couldn't be his home. He couldn't stay there forever.

But the thought still teased him as the drive went on, bringing him closer and closer to a temporary dream. He tensed when he felt the truck slow down and turn off the freeway. Then again at every single stop the truck made. Skylar risked a peek out the front windshield, seeing traffic lights, the roofs of low buildings, and the leaves of all sorts of trees, the varied shades of green all dancing against a clear, blue sky.

The truck slowed again and turned into a driveway. It came to a stop, and Skylar heard the series of rapid click s as Ward moved the gearshift into Park .

“We're here,” Ward murmured. The engine went silent, and Skylar heard Ward take off his seatbelt. A door opened and shut, and then the door beside him opened a moment later. “Sky?” Ward asked, gently shaking him. “Wake up, kitten. We're home.”

“ Hhnn ,” Charlie added.

Skylar slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes, both to pretend he was waking up and to help stop himself from crying.

“Geez,” Ward gasped, studying his face. “Charlie said you weren't actually asleep, but…”

Skylar winced. Damn it . He was usually a much better actor than this.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Ward said, slowly reaching in and undoing Skylar's seatbelt. “Let's get you inside.”

Skylar snatched up his bag and hugged it to his chest as he slid down out of the seat, Ward's hands steadying him. Charlie came around to join them, retrieving his own bag and then hooking his free hand around Skylar's arm when Ward told him to do so.

They followed Ward into his apartment. The three of them crowded together just inside the doorway while they all removed their shoes. Ward had to help Skylar with his. Skylar was unsteady on his feet, and he wasn't ready to let go of his bag, despite being inside Ward's apartment with both the main door and a security door locked.

Ward strode off and opened a cupboard between the bedroom and bathroom. He grabbed some towels and set them on the bathroom counter. While Ward was doing that, Charlie stood beside Skylar, glancing around. The boy rolled his head, his gaze sweeping the kitchen, the living room, and the open doorways into the bathroom and bedroom.

Shit . Was Charlie regretting this? What if he couldn't be comfortable here? He needed certain things for his routine, which was already thrown off as it was.

Skylar held his bag tighter as he stood there and trembled. “Ward–”

The big man strode right up to him and cupped his face with both hands. “Right here, kitten. Everything's gonna be fine.”

“But–” he tried again, glancing at Charlie.

“Sky,” Ward said, his tone gentle but full of warning. “Daddy's gonna take care of everything, okay? I need you to be a good boy for me and listen.” He pointed at the bathroom. “I want you to go in there and take a long, hot shower. Or a bath, if you prefer. Whatever's gonna help you relax. Then put on something comfortable. Maybe some pajamas, okay? While you're doing that, I'm gonna walk Charlie around the apartment and figure out what he needs.”

“But you might have to move the bed,” Skylar pointed out. “And change the sheets. And he's a picky eater, remember? What if you don't have any food that he'll eat? And he needs his routine, so this time of year, he'll be up at five-thirty, regardless of what we–”

“Sky,” Ward murmured. “I'll handle it. Okay? I can move the bed. And we can make a run to the store for food. Whatever it takes, sweetheart. It's gonna be fine.”

Skylar opened his mouth to say something else, but there was so much chaos in his head, he couldn't make the words come out. There were so many things he had to do! He had to get to the bank. And the pharmacy. And pay his bills. He needed to call his doctor. And make sure Charlie was settled.

Ward bent down, holding his gaze. “Stop. I see you overthinking. The only thing you need to do right now is go take a shower. Okay? That's it. Can you be good for Daddy and go do that?”

Beside him, Charlie nodded emphatically, his chin jerking up and down. “ Hhnn .”

Skylar relented. “Okay,” he whispered.

“That's my good boy,” Ward murmured. He hooked an arm around Skylar's waist and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, then released him and nodded at the bathroom. “Go on.”

Skylar shuffled off to the bathroom, still clutching his bag in his arms, and closed the door. He stood there for a moment, listening to the murmur of Ward's voice as the man spoke to Charlie. Skylar couldn't make out the words, especially once his emotions got the better of him.

He had to hold his breath to stifle a sob.

They would probably come check on him if he didn't start the water up soon, so Skylar forced himself to go through the motions. The bathroom door didn't have a lock on it, so Skylar wedged his bag in front of it instead. Not that it would stop Ward. Hell, it wouldn't even stop Charlie. But that little extra barrier between himself and the outside world seemed to help. It was just enough for him to get undressed, step away, and reach into the shower.

He turned on the water, barely waited for it to heat up, then stepped inside and pulled the curtain shut.

Skylar fell to his knees, covering his face with both hands, his body wracked with sobs.

He completely lost track of time. It took everything he had just to keep quiet so Ward and Charlie wouldn't hear him crying. Then he realized they were sure to see it all over his face. Damn it . Skylar forced himself to his feet and stuck his head under the spray. He couldn't stop a groan of pleasure from escaping him as the heat of the water finally registered.

When was the last time he'd taken a proper, hot shower? Skylar shook his head. He couldn't remember. Maybe a couple weeks back, when they'd come down for Wine Festival, but even those showers had been rushed. Skylar hadn't wanted to abuse the hot water at Beau and Dakota's house with so many other people staying there. At his own apartment, he usually only turned the water lukewarm, got himself wet, shut the water off, soaped up, and turned on the water again to rinse off as quickly as possible. Anything to keep his bills down.

Simply standing there under hot water while he cried? That was a luxury he could never afford. And he shouldn't be allowing himself to do so now. Not when it was Ward's water bill on the line.

Skylar quickly scrubbed himself all over, rinsed off, and forced himself to get out. He grabbed a clean towel and dried off, shivering despite the warmth of the room. Once he had the towel hung up to dry, Skylar dug into his bag.

What had Ward said? To put on something comfortable. Skylar pushed his clothes aside, putting his hands on the little bags of cash stuffed into the bottom of the bag, reassuring himself that they were still there, then pulled out some threadbare flannel pants—the only pajamas he owned—and an old, worn t-shirt. Skylar dragged on a pair of clean underwear first, then got dressed. As he stuffed his dirty clothes into a side pocket of his bag, Skylar left out Charlie's old hoodie. He pulled that on over the t-shirt, needing the extra layer. The extra comfort.

He picked up his bag and hugged it to his chest with one arm. With his free hand, he grabbed the doorknob, then paused there. Skylar closed his eyes and took a deep breath, bracing himself as he opened the door.

Across from him, Skylar saw the bedroom had been rearranged. The only furniture was the king-sized bed and a nightstand, and both had been moved. The bed now pointed east.

It looked all wrong. With the dimensions of the room, the bed's original position had made more sense. Now, with it turned ninety degrees from where it had been, there was barely enough space to get around the foot of it to reach the other side. Skylar cringed. What if Ward hated that?

Skylar heard Ward's voice. He followed the sound into the kitchen. There, he found Ward moving the coffee machine to a new spot, plugging it back in and reprogramming the clock.

Shit . “Ward–”

Ward looked up. “Hey, baby.” He paused, studying Skylar's face, then glanced at the bag still clutched in Skylar's arms. “Feeling better?”

“A little,” Skylar admitted. He gestured at the counter. “You didn't have to–”

“Sky,” Ward said, bringing out that gently commanding tone of his. “It's fine.” He reached over to Charlie, who stood beside him, supervising, and ran a hand through the boy's hair. “Charlie said it belongs here, so that's where it'll go.”

Charlie gave a chirp of agreement.

Ward held up a little scrap of paper. “And we made a shopping list. I figure we'll make a quick run to the store, then grab some takeout for lunch on the way back. That sound okay?”

Skylar managed a nod. He could barely think straight through the heavy fog of emotion.

“You wanna come with us? Or would you rather stay here and take a nap?”

“Um.” Skylar tightened his arms around his bag as he shifted from foot to foot. A part of him didn't want to let Ward and Charlie out of his sight, not even for a second, but another part of him couldn't let go of his bag, either. It was all he had left in the world. It would be stupid to haul it along just for a trip to the grocery store, though.

Charlie thrust out his arm, signing, Stay. Then he added, Nap!

Ward chuckled.

But Skylar hesitated. “Charlie hates grocery shopping.”

“I know,” Ward said with a nod. “But he insisted we have to get the right eggs for breakfast. And the right creamer for his coffee.”

“Ward, you don't have to do all this.”

The big man shot him a look that was so gentle yet full of command that it made Skylar's knees go weak. “Sky, enough. You let me worry about me, okay? You don't have to worry about anything but resting and recovering.” Ward reached out and ran a hand through Skylar's damp hair. “Now, why don't you go lie down, okay?”

Despite being formed as a question, Skylar could tell that it was nothing short of an order. He swallowed hard and nodded, taking a step back and turning towards the bedroom. There was no chance he'd be able to sleep, though.

Hell, he wouldn't be able to breathe until Ward and Charlie got back.