Chapter 23

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WARD

WARD LAY with Skylar in his arms, floating on blissful contentment. How had he survived almost two months without this boy within reach? The only thing that could make the moment more perfect would be to have Charlie with them.

He smiled as he pictured it. One boy on either side of him, their heads resting on his shoulders, his arms around them. Geez . That sounded incredible.

Skylar slowly stretched, taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh as he resettled himself.

Ward grinned, tracing his fingers up and down Skylar's left arm as it lay draped across his body. He silently admired the tattoos. He'd wanted to ask Skylar about them in the shower, but he'd gotten too caught up in touching the boy all over, watching Skylar's tension slowly fade as he washed him.

Skylar gave a start. “Holy shit.” He lifted his head and looked down at Ward's hand.

“Something wrong?”

Skylar's eyes were wide. “You saw that?”

“Saw what?”

Skylar nodded at Ward's hand.

Ward looked down, his gaze following the path of his fingertips as they traced the line that connected all the images on Skylar's arm. “The line?”

“Yeah.”

Ward frowned. “I thought it was obvious.”

Skylar slowly shook his head, staring at him in awe. “Charlie's the only other person who's ever noticed it. Anybody else, I have to point it out, and even then they usually say they can't see it.”

“Huh.” Ward traced the line again, making its meandering path up one side of Skylar's arm and down the other. It was cunningly done. The line seamlessly connected all the various elements without boldly standing out on its own.

Skylar smiled softly. “Charlie calls it my lifeline.”

“Oh yeah?”

Skylar nodded. “It connects all the simple things I love. The things that make life worth living. Whenever I feel anxious or impatient about my life, I look at those, and they give me strength to keep going. To remind myself that I'm working toward a better future.” He breathed a laugh. “Granted, I probably could have had my surgery a lot sooner if I hadn't spent money on the ink, but…well…this is literally the one unnecessary expense I've allowed myself over the past ten years. My one splurge. And it's helped keep me sane.”

“It's beautiful work.”

“Yeah. I really lucked out with this artist. There's a place here in the city that does a special offer for nipple tattoos. You know, for women who've gone through breast cancer and had reconstructive surgery. But they do it for guys like me, too. Trans guys, I mean. And while I had that done, I was looking around at the pictures of some of their other work, and we talked about ideas for this,” Skylar went on, gesturing at his left arm. “They drew it all out, and we did it little by little over the years.” Skylar paused, smiling as he eyed the designs, the only blank space being inside the heart just below his shoulder. He touched that spot, a thoughtful look on his face. “I thought about putting Charlie's name here, but something always stopped me.” He slowly shook his head. “I don't know. Maybe it just won't feel right until I can get free of this job. I mean, I can't exactly have a name on my skin where clients could see it. But I also want to keep Charlie as far away from this part of my life as possible. I don't even want my clients to see his name. To spoil it in any way. Does that even make sense? Fuck. I don't know. Still, until I can quit this job…” Skylar trailed off.

Ward nodded. “I can see that.”

“Yeah?” Skylar gave him a smile and lay his head back down.

“You and Charlie have been together a while, huh?” Ward asked.

“We've been best friends since we were kids, yeah,” Skylar replied with a nod.

“Did you meet at school?”

“Yeah.” Skylar smiled fondly. “I'm a couple years older, so we never had classes together, but I saw him on the playground. Well, on the edges, because he liked to be alone. But, one day, I saw him getting pushed around by some bullies. This was right before his parents decided to switch him to homeschooling. But you can imagine how cruel kids could be to someone like him.”

“Geez,” Ward quietly swore. “Yeah.” He could picture it far too easily. Sweet, innocent Charlie being picked on or assaulted just because his brain worked differently. It made Ward itch to gather the boy into his arms and never let go.

“Well, I was a feisty little shit back then,” Skylar went on with a chuckle. “I saw this one bully pushing Charlie around—even knocked him flat on his back before I got there—but then I stepped in and punched the guy right in the nose.”

Ward barked a laugh. “Really?”

“Oh yeah. Got in big trouble for it, too. But before the teachers got there, I crouched down over Charlie, blocking the sun because I could tell it was bothering his eyes.” Skylar paused. “He looked at me—I mean right at me, just for a moment—and smiled, then signed, My sky .” When Ward gave him a puzzled look, Skylar explained, “Because I became his own personal sky in that moment, blocking out the real one that was too bright. Too loud.”

“Ah,” Ward said with a chuckle. “You knew sign back then?”

“Yeah. I had a grandfather who was born deaf, so I was taught how to sign even before I could talk.” Skylar laughed. “Though I had to unlearn a few things with Charlie. He uses his own grammar structure, if any at all.” Skylar shook his head. “He was so happy, though, having someone outside his family who could understand him. Who could accept him.”

“I bet,” Ward murmured.

“When I came out to him, years later…Well, first I had to make sure he understood what I was talking about. I had no clue how he was going to take it, since he needs things to always be a certain way. To be constant and familiar. But he accepted it right off. He even commented on how it should have been obvious. That I looked so much happier and freer, telling him I was supposed to be a boy instead of a girl.” Skylar smiled again. “But then I asked him what he thought about me changing my name to Skylar so that I really could be his Sky.”

Ward raised his eyebrows. “What'd he say?”

“He was so overwhelmed with happiness that he actually had to go hide in the dark for a few minutes until the loud feelings subsided.” Skylar breathed a laugh. “But then he had to take me around to his family and reintroduce me to them as his Sky. He showed them my new name sign and said they had to call me Skylar from now on because that was my real name. He wouldn't tolerate anybody still calling me Sarah.”

Ward couldn't help smiling. “That's adorable.”

“Right? Shit. I still can't believe how easily he handled it. Charlie does not do change well. Like at all. But he took to calling me Skylar like he'd been doing it since the day we met. He–” Skylar broke off with a laugh. “He immediately started doing all this research, reading up on hormone therapy and different surgical options. Hell, he knew way more than I did, even after I started getting information from my doctors. He checks in with me to make sure I've taken my shots. If I happen to be staying with him when I'm due for one, he has to supervise, even though he absolutely hates needles.”

Ward chuckled. “I can totally see that.”

“Yeah,” Skylar said with a laugh. “I mean, he's not, like, domineering or anything.”

“No. I get that.”

“He's just very protective. Okay, maybe a little possessive, but he's got good reason.”

Ward looked down at Skylar when the boy suddenly went quiet. Skylar had a sad, thoughtful look on his face, his brow slightly furrowed as he blinked rapidly, like he was fighting the urge to cry. “Sky?”

“My…uh…” Skylar took a deep breath and let it out in a rush. “My parents told him I was dead.”

Ward lurched up in shock. “What?”

Skylar sat up beside him, drawing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. “After I came out–” Skylar broke off with a curse. “Shit. I shouldn't have said anything. You don't want to know all this.”

“Sky,” Ward murmured, leaning down to look the boy in the eyes. “Tell me.”

Skylar swallowed hard. “When I told my parents I was trans, they kicked me out.”

Shit . Ward's heart clenched. In the back of his mind, he'd suspected something like that. How else would a vibrant boy like Skylar wind up doing what he did? But hearing it still left a heavy ache in his gut. “Geez, Sky…”

“They didn't even give me a chance to grab anything. I was allowed to walk out the front door with the clothes I was wearing, and that was it. No money. No phone. I was only sixteen, so I didn't have a driver's license yet. Then again, it wasn't like they would have let me take a car, anyway. And I had no other family still living, so even if I'd had a phone, there was nobody to call.” Skylar wiped his eyes. “I thought maybe they'd change their minds. So I stuck close to the house all night. Finally fell asleep in a corner of the backyard. They found me the next morning and kicked me out again. I started walking aimlessly, but I had no idea where to go, and I was scared, so I came back the next day. I found a dumpster in the driveway. All my stuff was in there. My clothes. Pictures. All the old toys and games from my childhood. My trophies. Little things I'd collected over the years. Gifts from Charlie–” Skylar choked out a sob and looked away.

Ward stared at him and ran a hand back through his hair. Fuck . This poor, sweet boy. Ward's heart broke, picturing Skylar all alone, nowhere to go. No safety net. No nothing.

“I found out, way later,” Skylar went on, “that Charlie was texting my phone every day, like he always did. My parents finally responded, calling Charlie and telling him I was dead.”

“Fuck,” Ward gasped, feeling his heart race with fury. “Why would they do that?”

Skylar rolled his eyes and choked out a bitter laugh. “They said I was a disgrace. That I wasn't their child. They wanted me to be a die-hard feminist just like them. I was supposed to grow up to be a strong, independent woman. But the fact that I wanted to be 'just another selfish white boy , ' as they put it, made me the enemy. They said I was dead to them.” Skylar shrugged. “I guess it was just easier for them to say I was dead for real.”

Ward shook his head. “I am so sorry, Sky.” He inwardly cursed. The words didn't seem like anything close to enough, considering what Skylar had been through.

The boy managed a fleeting smile. “I got past what they did to me a long time ago. Not that I forgave them, but I got over it. But I will never forgive them for doing that to Charlie,” Skylar said through clenched teeth. “Not ever. Not as long as I live. He didn't deserve that.”

Ward swore quietly. “Charlie must have been devastated.”

“His parents said he went nuclear,” Skylar replied with a nod. “Completely lost it. And it was several days before I was able to finally get a message to him. To tell him what happened. He was a wreck . His parents offered to come get me and take me in, but by then I was–” Skylar broke off with a blush, looking away.

“You were what?” Ward gently prompted. He knew he wasn't going to like whatever he heard, but something told him that Skylar never really got a chance to vent like this. If the boy needed him to listen, he would.

Skylar sighed. “I was living with Uncle Zeke.”

“Who's Uncle Zeke?”

“My boss.” Skylar cringed. “But before that, he was a friend of my folks. You know, your parents' friend who hangs around so much that he becomes a sort of honorary uncle? He's the one who found me on the streets. Purely by chance. He walked out of a bar and found me in an alley, getting face-fucked in exchange for twenty bucks that I desperately needed for food.”

Ward winced. It was just as bad as he'd feared.

“And it wasn't the first time,” Skylar went on, cringing as he spoke. “Three days after I got kicked out, I was starving and exhausted and completely lost. Nowhere to go. Nobody to trust. When a guy offered me a few bucks to blow him, I figured how bad could it be? Thank fuck , he wore a condom. I nearly threw up from the whole thing, just from the smell of him, but it would have been worse if he'd–”

Ward winced again, but Skylar didn't see it, looking down at his hands.

“But I got to eat,” Skylar continued. “Over the next couple nights, I got propositioned a lot. Groped and chased. I finally walked into a barber shop and offered to blow the guy in exchange for a haircut. He took me into a backroom of his shop and put me on my knees, then hacked all my hair off. It didn't stop the attention, but it helped, not looking so obviously like a girl.”

“Sky…”

“But then I got hungry again, so I gave in to another proposition. And that's when Uncle Zeke found me. He took me home with him. Gave me some food and clean clothes. Let me have a shower. Holy fuck, that shower. I don't think anything ever felt so good in my life as that shower did. I'd always taken things like that for granted.” Skylar paused, finally looking up at Ward, his gaze full of guilt.

“He touched you, didn't he?” Ward asked, having to force himself to keep his voice even.

“Yeah. Not right away. He actually did wait until my eighteenth birthday before he did anything. But in the meantime, he definitely trained me for this life. He helped me finish high school, but he also taught me how to walk and talk and dress for high society. Taught me how to flirt. How to seduce. How to read people, to find out what they wanted so I could be that. Once I turned eighteen, all that was left was for him to break me in physically.”

Ward held his breath, giving himself a moment as he fought the urge to lash out. Holy shit . How could he even respond to that?

“And I've been doing this ever since,” Skylar said with a shrug. “It's all I've known for the past ten years or so.” He breathed a humorless laugh. “Every time I've tried to step back from the job and try to get something normal, I'm stuck. It's not like I can exactly put Escort on my résumé. Who would hire me for anything with my work history? But the truth is, this pays way better than any normal job that I could get. So I'm just biding my time, saving up money for my surgery. And don't you dare say a word about paying me,” Skylar rushed to add.

Ward held up his hands. “I promise.”

“I mean it, Ward–”

“Sky,” Ward insisted. He shifted closer, looking Skylar in the eyes. “I promise. If that's what you need, then I swear. Not a word. No tricks. End of discussion.” Ward paused. “Unless you change your mind–”

“I won't,” Skylar swore. “Not from you. Never from you. You're…different. I need that. I need you.”

Despite the deep, desperate ache in his heart from hearing Skylar's story, Ward found himself smiling. “I'm right here, kitten.”

He pulled Skylar into his arms, and they lay back down. Ward ran his fingers through Skylar's hair. Rubbed the boy's back. Traced his tattoos. Held him close. Kissed him on the forehead. Slowly but surely, Skylar relaxed.

“Ward…”

“Go to sleep,” Ward murmured. “Don't you worry about a thing.”

Skylar snuggled closer, and Ward couldn't stop smiling.

“Daddy's right here…”