Chapter 11

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SKYLAR

SKYLAR HAD to be dreaming. That was the only possible explanation.

Ward was here .

When the Pratts had announced that they were driving down to Paso Robles instead of staying home for Christmas, Skylar immediately thought of Ward. He couldn't help it. After he'd gotten home from Uncle Zeke's apartment, Ward had been all he could think about. It took everything he had to quiet his mind long enough to snatch a couple hours of sleep before heading to the suburbs. All the while he drove, Skylar had struggled to keep thoughts of Ward locked down. He was off to spend Christmas with Charlie, after all. Their last Christmas. Skylar needed to focus entirely on him.

But one hint of the town in which Ward lived, and Skylar knew he'd failed to keep a reaction off his face. Even knowing there would be no chance of running into the man, Skylar hadn't been able to resist hoping for it nonetheless.

And there Ward sat. Deliciously muscular, gentle, quiet, and sexy as hell.

Holy Zeus in a ball pit . Had it really only been twelve hours since he'd last seen the man? It felt like a lifetime.

He was so surprised by the sight of Ward that it took him several moments to realize Charlie was in the man's lap. Again .

Skylar felt his whole body go tense, his chest tightening and his gut twisting up in knots. He wanted to be the one in Ward's lap. Wanted to be in Ward's arms again, safe and protected from the world. He wanted to disappear inside Ward's touch and forget his life, even if it were only for a little while.

But he had to admit, Ward and Charlie looked damned good together.

Fuck . He'd seen it the last time, at that party in May, but now, closer up, it hit hard. Mixed in with the surprise on Ward's face was a bone-deep peace that couldn't be disguised. It was clear as day that Ward liked having Charlie in his lap. And Charlie looked more content than Skylar had ever seen him. It was like gravity. Like the two men simply belonged together.

It was so perfect that it hurt to witness. Granted, Skylar barely knew Ward, but from what he'd seen so far, the man was quiet, patient, and gentle, exactly the sort of things Charlie needed. Ward was also big and strong, which meant he could pin Charlie down during one of the boy's fits, wrestling him into submission and helping him regain his calm. Skylar could sometimes manage it, but barely. Charlie was slightly bigger and stronger than he was, which made it a challenge to get the boy under him, let alone hold him there until the fit had run its course.

Jumping jackhammers . Ward was supposed to be a client. Nothing more. But one night with the man had gotten Skylar all messed up inside. And now he found himself back where it had all started, with him on the outside, a third wheel, looking on as the big man held his boyfriend.

It was exactly the sort of solution Skylar had been looking for ever since he'd decided to run far away once his time as an escort was over.

He'd expected it to hurt, but not this much!

Skylar tore his gaze away from Charlie and looked at Ward again. Oh hell . The man's eyes were dark, his expression hungry as he looked up at Skylar from where he sat. Ward's hands tightened just noticeably around Charlie, like he didn't want to let the boy go, but his eyes spoke of a yearning for Skylar himself as well.

Or am I only seeing what I want to see?

Skylar rubbed his arms, then shifted from one foot to the other. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, only to pull them back out and run his fingers through his hair. Sheesh, Sky, get a grip . He was usually a better actor than this. “Uh.” Oh yeah, great start . Skylar cleared his throat and eyed Charlie again. He looked at Ward, then subtly pointed at Charlie and mimed covering his ear.

Ward took the hint, adjusting his hold on Charlie so he could rest a hand over Charlie's head, blocking the boy's hearing.

“You're here,” Skylar gasped.

Ward nodded. “Dakota called me as I was on the drive back. He said Charlie was here, looking for me, and asked if I could come by.”

Skylar blinked, then realized Ward was sitting in the same chair as he had at that party. “Oh.” Skylar couldn't help a little bark of laughter. “Because that's where he last saw you.”

“Dakota said he gets hung-up on patterns?”

“Yeah. He likes repetition and familiarity. Having things where they belong–” Skylar broke off when Charlie made a drawn-out squeaking sound and rubbed his cheek against Ward's chest.

Ward frowned in confusion.

“I think he likes your voice,” Skylar realized aloud. “Or maybe the vibrations. And that's saying something, because Charlie usually hates the sound of people talking.”

“Oh.”

“ Hhng .” Charlie rubbed his cheek on Ward again, then squeaked in time with each slow nod of his head, down and up. Squeak-SQUEAK, squeak-SQUEAK, squeak-SQUEAK.

“Charlie doesn't talk,” Skylar rambled on, feeling the need to explain, not wanting Ward to be put off by Charlie's behavior. “But he does vocalize, sometimes. Mostly when he's particular happy or upset. Like he'll grunt or groan, but usually it's this,” Skylar continued, gesturing at Charlie, who was still squeaking softly. “You know that sound you'd make to mimic a kiss? Like where you're basically just sucking air past your teeth? That's pretty much all he's doing. He likes mice.”

“Mice?”

“Yeah. He thinks they're cute. So he started trying to imitate the sounds they make, but they kinda morphed into his own thing over time. All these different little squeaks and chirps.” Skylar paused, then quietly swore. “Shit. I forgot. Don't mention mice around him right now. He just lost his pet mouse a few days ago, apparently.” Jeebus . No wonder Charlie had wanted Ward. Besides being away from home and off his routine, Charlie was grieving. And instead of doing anything about it, Skylar had let himself succumb to exhaustion, both on the ride down and once they'd arrived. What kind of boyfriend did that make him?

Skylar bit back a groan as he ran both hands through his hair. Maybe he was hitting short-timers syndrome already. Knowing there was a clock on their relationship, maybe he was already pulling away without consciously realizing it.

Then again, as he took in the sight of Ward and Charlie, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Could he steer Charlie and Ward together? Or even someone like Ward? Could he help Charlie find companionship and security in someone else before he left the boy behind for good?

Skylar knew it would hurt like hell if he managed it, but it would also be for the best. Then he could walk away when all was said and done, knowing Charlie was content.

But he'd be lying if he said he didn't want Ward for himself, to say nothing of a chance to keep Charlie in his life. Of course, neither of those things could happen. In nine months, he'd be jetting off for somewhere far away, as far as he could get. Florida, maybe? Maine? Hell, maybe even Alaska. Then he'd get himself a cheap apartment, find a surgeon, get his hysterectomy, recover, find a job—though that part was going to be the most difficult of all—and only then consider dating and maybe even settling down, assuming he could find someone who never pried into his past.

Except he had two perfect men right there in front of him. Everything he couldn't have. Charlie would eventually grow bored with him, as he did with all things. The boy cycled through obsessive phases faster than Skylar changed roles for clients, though their friendship had somehow managed to last for years. And as for Ward? The man knew he was a whore. Ward would never see him as anything else. There would be no way for Skylar to leave that part of his life behind if he was still around people who knew.

But none of that changed the fact that Skylar saw his greatest dream suddenly right there in front of him.

Damn it . Why did this have to happen now?

Before he or Ward could say anything more, someone came to a stop beside Skylar, nearly startling him right out of his skin.

“Hey,” Mr. Pratt said gently. “Sorry, didn't mean to scare you.”

Skylar managed to dredge up a smile. “My own fault. Got kinda lost in thought and didn't see you coming.”

“Ah. Get enough sleep?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Skylar insisted. “I'm fine.”

“Okay.” Mr. Pratt turned to Ward. “Thank you for doing this. We really appreciate it.”

Ward's cheeks flushed with color. He cleared his throat and let go of Charlie with one hand, rubbing the back of his neck instead, but when Charlie whined and fidgeted, Ward put the hand right back over Charlie's ear. “No problem,” Ward mumbled.

Skylar bit back a moan. Damn it . Why did a blushing Ward have to be such a sexy, endearing sight?

“I don't think we ever got a chance to officially meet last time,” Mr. Pratt went on. He held out his right hand and said, “Jacob Pratt.”

Ward quickly shook the man's hand, then held Charlie again before the boy could complain. “Ward Freeman.”

Freeman? Skylar liked the sound of that. Skylar Freeman. He felt himself blushing at the implications of that thought. Skylar shook his head and tried to focus. Freeman. Free man. Hmmm. Maybe he could change his name to that after he moved away and started over. It would be fitting, after all. Of course, he'd already endured the process to change his name once. He didn't relish the idea of paying more court fees to do it a second time. Then again, it would mean even more of a fresh start. Another layer of separation between his current life and the new one he'd eventually get to build for himself.

“How's he doing?” Mr. Pratt asked, interrupting Skylar's thoughts.

As though on cue, Charlie started squeaking again. Quiet little sounds, but just loud enough for them to hear. Charlie rocked himself in Ward's lap. It was the barest of movements, not enough to disturb Ward's hold on him, and synchronized to his squeaks. Forward-back, forward-back. Squeak-SQUEAK, squeak-SQUEAK.

Mr. Pratt chuckled. “Guess that's my answer.” He turned to Skylar. “You hungry? We tried to wake you when we stopped for lunch earlier, but you were out cold.”

Skylar's stomach growled at the mention of food. The last time he'd eaten was dinner at the wedding. He hadn't wanted to hang around Uncle Zeke's place long enough to have breakfast with the man, and his own kitchen had been depressingly bare of food. Considering he had plans to spend the next few days with the Pratts, Skylar hadn't seen a reason to go shopping yet, just to let the food sit in his absence. He could do that once he got back home, and a couple missed meals weren't going to kill him.

He knew that well enough.

But that meant he'd had nothing to eat for breakfast, let alone lunch, and he was feeling it. “Yeah,” he replied. “Starving.”

Mr. Pratt gestured at the tasting room. “Beau laid out some snacks, and I'm gonna go start up the grill here pretty soon.” He turned back to Ward with a smile. “You're welcome to join us.”

“Oh.” Ward paused, then shook his head. “I appreciate the invitation, but I really should be getting home. I…uh…I was out of town all weekend,” he went on, giving Skylar a quick glance, “and I need to get ready for work tomorrow.”

“Ah.” Mr. Pratt chuckled. “Understood. The never-ending grind. Well, it was nice meeting you.”

“You, too,” Ward replied, a hint of a blush coming back to his cheeks.

Skylar squirmed, feeling a rush of arousal at the sight. Sheesh . Why did the man have to be so damned sexy?

Mr. Pratt patted Skylar on the shoulder. “Come get some food,” he said as he walked away.

“Be right there,” Skylar called after him. Mr. Pratt rejoined the others in the tasting room just as they all began to file out to the back patio. Skylar waited until they were all gone, then turned to look at Ward again. “So.”

“So.” Ward looked up at him, studying his eyes with a curious frown. “ You're here.”

“Yeah.” Skylar shoved his hands into his pockets. “I didn't know until this morning. This was sort of a last-minute trip. I was supposed to stay with the Pratts for Christmas, but they decided to come down here instead, so they brought me along.” He ran a hand back through his hair, then stuffed the hand back into his pocket, hunching his shoulders. “Is this weird? This is weird. I should go.” Skylar started to turn away, though whether to run back upstairs or go join the others out back, he couldn't decide. Either way, he needed to leave. To make room for Ward and Charlie to have this moment together, no matter how much it hurt.

“Sky,” Ward murmured, stopping Skylar in his tracks.

Skylar shuddered, hearing both the gentle command and the hungry need in Ward's voice. It made him desperate to drop right at the man's feet, no matter who might see. Skylar locked his knees and turned back to face him.

“Please…” Ward began, then frowned and shook his head, like he didn't know how to finish his request. He looked down at Charlie in his arms, a soft smile playing on his lips, then looked back up at Skylar, his gaze searching for something as he studied Skylar's face. “Don't go,” he murmured.

The bone-deep need and desperation in those two little words almost knocked Skylar right off his feet.

Oh hell . It was far too easy to obey. He didn't want to go. All he wanted was to stay right there and bask in Ward and Charlie's presence, no matter how much he felt like the outsider. The odd man out. The one who didn't belong.

But he couldn't have walked away to save his life. Not faced with all that temptation.

Even if he was going to have to fight it.