4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Mae

Damn him.

Damn my brother.

Damn this island with no way out.

Just… damn.

I also hate myself for not fighting more, for not being angrier, for not trying harder to escape, but here I am, sitting on a bed bigger than my entire apartment, slipping the fine silk sheets between my fingers.

And I find myself thinking, why bother fighting? Why bother trying to get away when I'll have the best of the best here?

I've never had that anywhere else. I've never had what Ian is offering.

You're an insane person for even entertaining this idea. What the fuck, Mae? He kidnapped you. He killed your boss right in front of you.

But he deserved it.

Oh my God, am I really okay with seeing a man get murdered in front of me? Am I… thankful?

"I'm crazy." I drop my head in my hands as I sit on his bed, wondering how the hell my life became so messy.

I look around the room, sighing to myself. I hate that I love the luxury of it all. And it isn't just the material things. It's everything. It's him too, Ian Roulette, the most mysterious notorious man on the island. He owns everything and it only makes sense he has found a way to own me too.

I love his intensity. He doesn't even know me and yet, he killed a man who took advantage of me. Why does that turn me on? Why do I want him to do it again?

Why do I want to give him everything?

He opens the door and drapes his jacket across the back of the chair sitting in the corner of the room. There are a few drops of blood on his shirt, but he doesn't seem to notice or care. It's as if blood doesn't even cause him to flinch. It's just another day.

"Do I get my own room?" I ask, lacing my hands together as he stares outside the window overlooking the ocean.

"No."

I scoff and jump to my feet. "Excuse me? I think after watching a man get killed and being kidnapped, I have the right to my own space."

"You have your room." He spreads his arms out, showcasing the room we are currently in.

"This is your room," I correct him.

And I won't say how gorgeous it is. He obviously had a designer. The bed is bigger than a king and fit for an emperor. The four-post bedframe sits against the wall with hooks on the headboard, whatever those are for, and the floors are the color of a rich cherry mixed with bourbon and fire. The walls are painted a greyish blue, masculine, yet elegant. There's a bookshelf lining the wall in front of the bed, filled to the brim with all the novels a person could dream of, and there's no TV.

Why aren't I surprised? I bet he doesn't watch TV.

He stalks over to me, long determined strides and a dangerous glint in his eyes while the muscle in his jaw ticks. He wraps that damn hand around my throat and forces me to walk backward until my back hits the wall. "This is our room. You're mine now, Mae. And whatever is mine, is never far from my reach."

I lift my chin, wanting to show my strength. "I am not yours. I am not property."

"To your brother you are," he growls, tilting his head in a way a killer seduces his prey before he strikes. "He offered you up like a piece of meat to clear his name, do you remember that?"

"Of course I remember. I'm not stupid."

"Did you know that in order to clear his name, he added in the fact that you were a virgin? He basically sold you to me for thirty thousand dollars, all so I can pluck that sweet cherry you have between your legs. Does that surprise you?"

I gasp, clenching my thighs together, but not in fear.

No, even though I need to be afraid, the thought of Ian Roulette taking my virginity has my panties wet and my clit on fire.

I need relief, but I'll never admit that to him.

The tattoos swirling up his arms disappear under the rolled-up shirt sleeves and I'm unable to stop ogling the rope of muscle.

"Why don't you seem surprised? I expected more of a reaction out of you, Mae. Do I not scare you?"

"You terrify me," I admit, my body shaking until I can feel it in my bones. "I'm afraid of what you'll do to me."

"Don't be." His thumb rubs against my bottom lip, tugging it down until it pops free. "When he told me about you; when he showed me your picture, there wasn't an amount of money in the world that was going to stop me from taking you." His body slides against mine and I'm able to feel every ridge of his abdomen. "You were more than a debt. I knew that my dealings with your brother were supposed to lead me to you." Ian unties the old, worn apron I have on, and it drops to the floor. "I don't think you understand when a man like me says you're mine, it isn't always in the best of ways." He rips my shirt down the middle, the storms in his eyes never leaving mine. "I'm unhealthily obsessed. One look at you, and I knew that the only world I wanted you submerged in, was mine."

He reaches behind me and with no effort, unclasps my bra.

Still, his eyes are locked to my face.

He slides his palms down my body, and I shudder, the callouses scratching against my flesh. I almost feel the death on his hands, the lives he took to form those callouses scream along my body as he unbuttons my pants.

Fight him.

Get out of here.

Run.

I'm frozen in place. The danger he exudes, the poison that he breathes, I inhale. I want to be at its mercy.

He slides my pants down and I step out of them, curious as to why he isn't taking what he wants. He has yet to look at my body. Maybe I'm not what he wants? Maybe he realizes I'm not good enough for him.

And I'm not, let's be serious. I'm a waitress. I have no college education. I'm dirt poor. I live paycheck to paycheck. What could he want with me?

"You deserve a hot shower, Mae. Let me take care of you." He brushes a piece of my hair back. "I have a feeling the only person that's ever taken care of you, is you." Ian tugs me into the bathroom, swinging the French doors wide open.

My mouth parts when my feet hit warm black tile floors. The ceiling is high, the sink is marble with gold faucets, and there's a huge soaking tub to the side. I almost groan when I see how deep it is. I could lie in it forever with bubbles.

All the fucking bubbles.

To the right, there's a walk-in shower with shower heads attached to the walls and the ceiling. There's a bench along one wall. I imagine him taking me there and blush.

"Undress me," he orders, turning to me as we stand in front of the glass door in front of the shower. "I paid for your attention, Mae. I expect it."

"You didn't pay me," I argue, not wanting to back down from him even while my fingers itch to unbutton his tailored-made shirt.

That hand again… it clutches my neck and holds me against the shower. He grits his teeth, his eyes darting between mine and he growls, low and inhuman. "I paid for years for you. Maybe not into your pocket, but for years, I've unknowingly been making you mine by dealing with your brother. Undress me, Mae."

I do as he says, swallowing my fear of the unknown, letting that voice in the back of my head go quiet, and tug the buttons of his shirt with hesitant fingers.

I should run. I should get him where I want him, use my body to my advantage and run, and I would if I were sane.

But I'm thinking I'm more like Ian.

I've always wanted to be taken. I've always wanted to be owned.

I've always wanted to belong to someone.

And while this isn't conventional, it's my opportunity.

I'm shaking so much I can't get the first button through the slit. He grips my hands and brings them to his mouth, kissing my knuckles.

"You're okay," he reassures. "You're safe. You're the safest you've ever been. Right here. With me. I won't hurt you." He runs his finger down my neck and smirks. "Well, not unless you want me to."

And is it sick that I do? That I want him to ruin me?

I want to hurt for him.

I want to ache.

Something other than the loneliness I've felt my entire life.

"You aren't going to tell me if it bothers you? About your brother?" He takes off his shirt when he realizes I'm still shaking, but not with fear, with nerves.

Is this it? Is this how I'll lose my virginity? In the shower of the island's most wealthy, murderous man?

"Mmm, you aren't surprised." He unbuckles his pants, and they drop. His hard, massive cock slaps against his stomach and I hold my breath, immediately intimidated.

It must be ten inches, almost as thick as my wrist, and there's a pulsating vein on the side, pumping him full of lust. A bead of precome threatening to drip down his shaft.

"Look at me."

I do. I yank my eyes from his intimidating cock and swallow as I look at him.

"You aren't surprised?"

"Why are you asking me about my brother when we are naked?"

"Because I won't take you with the thought of your brother in the way. The way I want to hurt you…" a rumble forms in his throat. "It isn't in the same way as your brother." He presses his hands against my chest, still not taking a glimpse of my body.

He opens the shower door and shoves me inside, making me stumble. I cross my arms over my chest to cover myself.

Ian yanks my arms away from my body and I whimper, my knees weak as he finally looks me up and down, analyzing me, studying me.

Am I good enough?

"God." He wraps his hand around himself and strokes, swiping the bead of precome from his crown. "You're fucking perfect. To know no one has been between your legs, it makes me… feral." His nostrils flare and his eyes turn to dangerous slits. "Never hide yourself from me, Mae. Ever."

"Okay," I whisper, pressing myself against the rock wall.

He turns on the shower and it doesn't even take a second to be steaming hot. In my apartment, it only gets lukewarm for about five minutes before it turns cold.

He grips me by the arm and holds me in front of him under the spray. "I want to wash the day from your skin. I want to get that job off you. I want to get those man's words off you. I want to wash his hands from you." He bends my head down and runs his hand over my hair, soaking the strands. "The only man you'll ever be bathed in is me."

I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of his fingers against my scalp and I ask the question that's been burning in my chest. "Are you going to fuck me here in the shower? I don't want you to think you aren't getting your money's worth."

His hand falls to the back of my neck, and he spins me around, pinning me against the wall. The water drips down my face. He curls his body over mine, the hot flesh of his cock pressing against my hole, his lips are against my neck, and his free hand grips my hip.

"I'm going to fuck you," he says deeply, the treble reminding me of gravel. "But I'll do it on my time. I won't rush you. I might be a monster, but I don't want to be a monster to you."

I force myself to turn in his grasp and he doesn't look at me, his eyes fall to my breasts, and his fingers dig into my ribcage.

"You're so perfect. I can't wait to have you. It's going to be such a delicacy." He leans forward and I think he's about to kiss me, but he grabs the bottle of shampoo from the shelf and squirts the peppermint-scented soap into his palm.

Disappointment hits me for some reason.

"But not until you feel at home."

I don't know what to say to that. I'm tired. I'm shocked. I'm naked in a shower with a man I barely know, but I feel like I'm meant to be here. He takes the time to care for me, washing my hair, putting conditioner in it, then washing my body, but he never makes a move to take it further even if his cock is solid the entire time.

"No, I'm not surprised," I finally answer.

"What?" he asks, squeezing the soap from the loofah.

"My brother. I'm not surprised. I always knew I'd somehow get involved in his issues. I guess that's why I didn't fight you more. I've always known my fate."

"No, you haven't." He cages me in by placing his hands on either side of my head. "You've fallen into my hands. And while that is a fate I typically don't wish for anyone, I am the man your brother owed." His palm cups my cheek, fanning across my jaw, and his thumb presses against my bottom lip. "You are priceless," Ian whispers.

While the shower hisses and the water beats against the floor, he leans in, and in this moment, the mask of a king falls. Softness overtakes his features and the killer lurking under his skin takes a step back. His lips are wet and pink, the ice in his irises has darkened to a sapphire blue, and he kisses me.

I've never been kissed.

I gasp in surprise when I feel how soft they are. I expected harshness, but he's gentle yet firm with his hand along my cheek. He controls me still, tilting his head and keeping me in place so he can have his way with me.

His tongue pushes between my lips and I whimper, unsure of what to do.

"Have you never kissed a man before?" His lips rub against mine as he speaks.

I shake my head and look away, ashamed. He's probably had a woman in his bed every other day and here I am, unable to offer something as simple as a good kiss.

With a sneer, he slams his palm down on the handle to turn the water off, and kicks the door open, then throws me over his shoulder.

"All mine."

I'm dripping from the water, but he doesn't care.

He walks across the floor, leaving a puddle of water behind, and he tosses me on the bed.

"Now I want my money's worth." The man in charge is back and the dominance dances over his skin.

I part my legs, inviting him to take me.