Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

A nna sprawled on her childhood bed, wishing she could cry. She never cried much, and Beatrice had said once that crying was a very cathartic thing, and the whole purpose was to release one’s emotions, to allow one to grieve over a thing that was lost.

Also, was it her imagination, or was her bed unbearably small, a great deal smaller than she remembered?

“There, there, my dear,” Octavia murmured, smoothing Anna’s tangled hair back from her forehead. “I know, it’s upsetting.”

“I truly thought… I mean, I believed there was more to him. That whatever was between us could turn into something more! And just like that, he dashes all my hopes irrevocably. It’s not fair!”

Anna could hear the petulant tone of her voice, and she hated it. But how else could she say it? Oh, she knew that there was nobody to blame but herself for her raised hopes, but he was the one who had let those hopes rise higher and higher.

Wasn’t it?

“Well, darling, he was fairly clear , wasn’t he? Before you got married, I mean.”

Anna paused, then pushed herself up into a sitting position, turning to look at her mother. “You blame me, don’t you? You think I’m silly.”

Octavia sighed heavily. “Of course, I don’t blame you. I always wanted better for you—a love match, at the very least—but this was the deal we made, remember? You were so sure . You knew it was a marriage of convenience, and yet you wanted to go along with it. And already, as a family, our lives have changed. You are a duchess, your father’s debts were paid off, the servants were paid, and the twins will have a coming out… we mustn’t forget where our luck comes from. It comes from him , my dear.”

Anna bit her lip and said nothing.

After a moment, Octavia spoke again. “Has he… has he been… been cruel to you, Anna? Has he hurt you?”

Anna heard the anxiety in her mother’s voice. She closed her eyes and shook her head. “No, Mama. He’s a gentleman.”

“Are you sure? You would tell me if… if you were being hurt?”

“I am not being hurt. I just… Oh, I don’t know how I found myself in this situation.”

“Well, I do,” Octavia said, all business-like now that she knew her daughter was physically unharmed, at least. “You allowed yourself to be swept up in the romance, in the novelty of being a duke’s wife. That is all fine and well if you married for love, but as I said before, the Duke was clear, was he not? A marriage of convenience, not of affection. That’s not to say you can’t feel some affection for him as time goes on.”

Anna sniffled, reaching for a handkerchief. “I don’t feel very affectionate towards him now. Oh, Mama, what am I going to do?”

Octavia shuffled closer, putting an arm around her daughter’s shoulders. “Here is what I think you should do. Now, I can’t force you to do anything… you’re a duchess, after all. But here is what I would do if I were you. Firstly, go back to your husband.”

Anna sucked in a breath, but Octavia pressed on.

“No, I mean it. Go home and start afresh. Stick to his rules. Be as aloof as you must until you have put enough distance between the two of you to bear his presence with composure. Such feelings are… well, they are not incurable.”

Anna stared down at her hands, loosely knotted together in her lap. “I might be with child.”

Octavia’s expression hardened. “I see.”

“It’s far too soon to know, of course, but it is possible. He wants a boy. That was what we agreed on.”

“Well, I think he will find that neither a mother nor father can control the sex of their baby. Your father and I would have liked a boy, too, but three girls were what the Good Lord saw fit to give us, and we were grateful for such a gift.”

“If I have a boy,” Anna continued, sniffling, “he said that we can go our separate ways and live our own lives. Absolute freedom, he said. I suppose I ought to look forward to that.”

Octavia eyed her daughter for a long moment, her face unreadable. At last, she let out a long, slow sigh.

“Oh, my poor little girl. What am I going to do with you and your broken heart?”

She pulled her daughter towards her, and Anna rested her head on her mother’s shoulder, closing her eyes. Octavia put her arms around her, murmuring softly under her breath and rocking her to and fro, just as she had when Anna was a little girl.

“I just wanted to come home, Mama,” Anna said, her voice breaking. “I know it’s childish…”

“Wanting one’s mama is never childish, my darling girl. Now…” Octavia leaned back, pressing a kiss to the top of Anna’s head. “Now, we can’t cry away the afternoon. Here is what I suggest. I shall go out and fetch Daphne and Emily from their walk, as they might be gone for hours otherwise. I shall tell them you are here, and we will discuss this matter as a family. While I’m gone, you can whip up some refreshments in the parlor—the upstairs one, I still can’t bring myself to use the downstairs one—and we will have a good, long talk about it when the girls and I get back. What do you say?”

“It sounds nice,” Anna said, feeling a little bit better.

She blew her nose vigorously into a handkerchief, feeling more like a grown woman—a duchess— than a tearful, broken-hearted girl. She hadn’t seen her sisters since she had arrived, and she found herself longing to see them.

If only Kitty could have sisters, then she’d know how wonderful it can be.

“Good!” Octavia bounced to her feet, ruffling Anna’s hair. “It’s decided, then.”

A few moments later, Anna emerged from her bedroom. She felt oddly shaky, a little drained, but perhaps her mother was right. Perhaps a little clear thinking was all she needed.

Could I do it? Could I go back after leaving so dramatically? If I’m not with child, then I suppose I might have to. We need an heir, after all. And if I want to be free from him…

Anna froze, halfway across the room, her hand already outstretched toward the bell pull.

I don’t want to be free from him. Not now, not ever.

She closed her eyes. Well, that complicated things. She wasn’t a fool, of course. It was fairly clear that she was falling in love with the wretched man, despite the fact that it was a bad idea. Such things could be reversed, though, could they not?

But apparently, this new feeling informed her that it was far too late for a reversal.

We are already separated, though. I left. What if he shrugs his shoulders and lets me get on with it?

Anna groaned aloud and lowered herself onto the sofa. Perhaps she ought to have gone out with her mother to fetch her sisters. The fresh air might have done her good. Perhaps…

“Knock-knock.”

The voice was familiar. It sent ice-cold chills down her spine. She glanced up, slowly and painfully, panic bubbling in her stomach.

The Earl of Downton stood in the doorway, grinning down at her.

Anna was on her feet in a flash, diving for the bell pull in the corner that would summon the servants.

Lord Downton, unfortunately, was faster.

He intercepted her, grabbing her around her waist and hauling her away, pushing her behind him. She tripped, landing with a thump on her backside in the middle of the rug, knocking the wind out of her.

She sat there for a breathless moment, her head spinning. Lord Downton stood between her and the bell pull. The parlor door was open, but there were long, empty halls between here and anybody who might help them. He’d already proved that he was stronger and faster than she might have imagined. Running did not seem like a good idea. He might catch her.

That made her shiver.

Get up, urged a voice at the back of her head. Get on your feet.

She forced herself up, her head spinning, and met his eyes squarely. “It’s polite to be announced, I believe,” she said shortly. “How did you get in?”

He grinned wider. “You have your dear mama to thank for that, actually. Whenever I would pay her a visit, she was keen that the servants were not aware. You know how finicky women can be about matters of propriety. So, she directed me to a neat little side door that led into the house and was generally left unlocked. And so here I am.”

Anna swallowed. “I see. Well, you’re not welcome here. And I believe our debt to you is paid. Neither I nor my mother have any desire to see you.”

His smile soured a little. “Yes, she was clear about that. But I feel as though I haven’t really gotten my money’s worth from your family, if one can be vulgar. After all, mere cash is never quite as satisfying, is it?”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”

Lord Downton’s face brightened. “Then I shall be able to tell you. How lovely! Well, let me explain. Firstly, congratulations on your marriage. A duchess, eh? A stepmother, too. Of course, dukes and duchesses walk on a knife’s edge when it comes to reputations and such. And so do their children, as a matter of fact.”

Anna clenched her jaw. “What are you getting at?”

“Well, I read a hint of something terrible in one of the scandal sheets, about that dear little girl of the Duke’s. Something that happened… oh, eight years ago, was it? Seven? The scandal sheet didn’t go into detail, but I’m sure whoever tipped them off would have the full story ready to hand. Ready to reveal. It’s a shocking one, I just know it.”

A cold feeling coiled in Anna’s gut. Of course, if anyone would know that secret—and she was fairly sure she knew what it was—it would be Lord Downton.

Of course.

She closed her eyes momentarily, conjuring up a picture of Kitty’s sweet, innocent face. Nothing that had happened was Kitty’s fault, and yet it seemed that she was suffering more than anyone else. A child could easily be ruined at her age, her life blighted before it had even begun.

If Kitty was illegitimate, there would be nothing for her in Society. Oh, Theo’s money would keep her comfortable, but legally she would be entitled to nothing. She would not be a lady , nothing beyond a plain old miss . She would have no friends, no society—no place in the world they inhabited.

She would be nothing and nobody, all for the sins of somebody who came before her.

“What do you know, and how did you find out?” Anna asked, meeting the Earl’s eyes.

He only chuckled, tapping the side of his nose. “That’s for me to know and you to keep your pretty mouth shut about. Let’s talk about something more relevant… how do you intend to convince me to keep this information to myself?”

She lifted her chin. “A gentleman wouldn’t need to be told.”

“Your idea of a gentleman, my dear, is a dated one. Gentlemen do whatever they want, in point of fact. And I intend to get what I want.”

He took a few steps closer. Anna’s skin crawled, but her feet seemed to have rooted themselves to the floor, forcing her to stand still as he approached. When he was about an arm’s length away—she could smell the alcohol on his breath—he lifted his hand, his clammy fingers brushing her cheek.

“Such beauty,” he said thoughtfully. “Such a unique beauty. I have been watching you for quite a while. I think your younger sister—Daphne, is it? Or perhaps Emily. They are both remarkably pretty—will follow in your footsteps soon enough.”

“You’d better stop,” Anna managed, at last. “My mother will be home at any moment.”

He chuckled. “Are you quite sure about that? Because I believe that I saw your mother striding across the hills behind the house. To fetch your sisters, perhaps? In which case, you and I might have at least half an hour, perhaps more, before she returns. Plenty of time. And if more time is needed, well, there’s always that quiet little back door for us to sneak out of. What do you say?”

Anna jerked her chin out of his grasp. “I think you’re a vile, disgusting man. I know you are married. You’re old enough to be my grandfather. Are you not ashamed? I cannot stand the sight of you, and neither can my mother. We owe you nothing. Leave us alone, can’t you?”

Lord Downton’s face darkened. His hand shot out again, his fingers curling around her chin with a bruising force. Anna couldn’t hold back a yelp of pain, which only made him grin mirthlessly.

“My dear girl, I think you have misinterpreted this situation quite badly. You see, I told you earlier that I am a gentleman. And gentlemen get what they want. You, my dear, are what I want. I said once I would have you, did I not? That was a promise, my dear Duchess, and I never lie.”

Something snapped inside Anna, something that let her know that she was in mortal danger right now. She threw herself at him, ignoring the pain of his fingernails digging into her skin, and brought her closed fist down onto his nose.

Crunch .

Perhaps it wasn’t the best punch, but it was certainly a satisfying one, enough to make Lord Downton yelp and stagger backward. Anna dived for the door, but she barely made it halfway there before a hand tangled in her hair.

She was hauled backward, pins raking across her scalp, her hair being pulled from its roots. She tried unsuccessfully to reach back, raking her nails across his hand, but she was dragged backward and thrown on the floor.

The wind was knocked out of her, and Lord Downton was on her in a moment, his knees pinning her arms to the ground.

“I never lie,” he hissed. His hands closed around her neck. “You know,” he said thoughtfully, “it’s rather difficult to half-strangle a person. I don’t want you dead, my dear. But I do believe you could be taken down a peg or two. What do you say?”

She clawed at his arms, panic winning the battle for only an instant before logic told her to direct her hands at his face instead. But his arms were too long, and he only jerked his head back, out of her reach.

Anna could not breathe. The pressure on her throat throbbed up into her head, blurring her vision. He loosened his grip, just enough to allow her to speak.

“Go… to… hell!” Anna rasped out and saw his face contort in anger.

“I shall see you there, my dear. I shall see you there.”

And then, quite abruptly, the pressure on her chest and the long fingers around her neck were gone.