Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

A nna’s heart was pounding. Seeing the Earl again had triggered a powerful feeling of nausea. To see him here , among her new friends, in what was meant to be her new life, was more upsetting than she would have cared to admit.

He’s making a point. He’s telling me that wherever I am, whoever I marry, he can reach me.

She hurried blindly down the dark corridors. The deeper she went into the house—the parts that guests really weren’t meant to venture into—the quieter it got. There were no footmen around now, and the noise and music of the ballroom was steadily fading away. It was cooler, too, and she felt the flush of heat leaving her skin.

She suddenly heard echoing footsteps and whirled around in a blind panic, afraid that the Earl hadn’t left at all and had followed her into this lonely part of the house.

The hallway was empty, though, the flickering candles throwing dancing shadows.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Anna glanced around her. The nearest door was half-open, and through it, she glimpsed rows and shelves of books. A library.

It drew her in, and she was inside before she knew it.

Leaving the door ajar, she turned in a tight circle, finding her bearings. The library was largeish, clearly not well used. It was dusted and aired, of course—all rooms in such a large house would be—but there was an unused air to the place, the books standing silent and untouched on shelves. Only a handful of candles were lit, throwing most of the room into shadow.

Still, Anna had always loved libraries. The presence of books somehow managed to soothe her. There were comfortable-looking red velvet chairs everywhere, piled with fluffy cushions. Blankets were draped around the chairs as if somebody might fling themselves down at any moment with a good book and look around them for a blanket.

As usual, however, Anna found herself moving towards the window seat. It was well-padded, large and deep, with red velvet curtains that could be pulled around the window to give oneself a little private alcove of peace.

She plopped down and let out a long, ragged sigh, her eyes fixed on the door.

It wouldn’t be an odd thing for Theo to follow her, would it? He was her husband, after all, and she was distressed.

But if he follows you, you’ll have to tell him the truth.

She shivered at that idea. How much of the truth would he want to hear? What if he was angry or disgusted? What if…

What if, what if, what if. None of that matters if he just shrugs those broad shoulders of his and goes on with his evening, enjoying himself without me.

She just had time to imagine herself sitting alone in the library like a child in a sulk, ignored by all while her husband laughed and drank and danced, before she heard the distinctive sound of footsteps outside.

For an instant, she thought it was the Earl, and her heart plummeted into her stomach. The door creaked open a little further, and the Duke of Langdon appeared in the doorway.

Anna almost wept with relief.

“A library,” he remarked after a moment. “I thought I might find you here.”

She sniffled. “I shouldn’t have run off like that.”

Glancing around the room, perhaps double-checking that they were alone, Theo stepped in properly, before closing the door behind him. After only an instant’s hesitation, he turned the key in the lock. The metallic click made Anna shiver for some reason. Not an unpleasant shiver.

The silence seemed to settle more heavily over the room once the door was closed. Suddenly, there seemed to be far more space between her and Theo than she had initially thought.

Too much, in fact.

“Who is that man to you?” Theo spoke up, breaking the silence.

Anna dropped her chin to her chest. “I hate him.”

“That was clear. Go on, tell me.”

She closed her eyes. “I believe I said that he was one of my father’s creditors. You know the state our finances were in. After Papa’s death, the creditors descended on us en masse . Almost every penny we had went to paying them off, aside from the house and a thin trickle of income Papa had had the good sense to put aside for Mama, as her widow’s jointure. It wasn’t enough, of course, but at least we weren’t starving on the streets. Other people have it much worse.”

Theo crossed the room, his polished Hessians stepping like velvet on the carpet, even though this was a ball and dancing slippers should be the order of the day, not boots . He settled down beside her on the window seat, so close that their shoulders almost touched. Anna could feel the warmth radiating from him, along with that intoxicating smell of crushed grass, tempered with cologne.

She cleared her throat, squaring her shoulders.

Focus, woman.

“Go on,” he said after the silence had dragged on for too long.

She shot him a look that she hoped said, I wasn’t waiting for your permission , then took a breath and continued.

“All of Papa’s debts were called in, and Lord Downton showed himself last of all. He turned up on the day of Papa’s funeral, as a matter of fact, like a hungry bird of prey. Awful man.”

“He certainly chose his moment poorly,” Theo agreed.

“He chose it well, rather. He spoke to me first. He made me feel… itchy. Do you know what I mean? When a man looks at you a certain way, you just know he’s thinking things, and there’s not a thing you can do to stop him from thinking or looking.”

Theo winced. “Not a feeling I am familiar with, but I know what you are talking about. The man sounds viler by the minute.”

“Mama turned him away,” Anna continued, feeling exhausted all of a sudden. “The debt wasn’t called in. But it wasn’t canceled either. It hung over our heads, like an ax waiting to fall. I almost forgot about it—and him—until I caught him at home one night, with Mama.”

Theo stiffened. “Ah.”

“I think… I don’t even want to say it,” Anna managed, her voice quivering like a child’s. “I think there was a price to pay for him not calling in the debt, and I think Mama was paying it. But it was me he wanted—it has always been me. And I kept worrying about Daphne and Emily. They’re so young and naive… what if he started looking at one of them? He’s such a vile man, and he seemed to enjoy how debased we were.”

Abruptly, Anna dropped her face into her hands, groaning aloud.

There. She’d said it. The whole, awful story was out, and Theo could not fail to understand what she meant. She longed to glance at him, to see what he thought of all this, but she didn’t quite dare.

“Only a depraved man would prey on a woman and her children at such a time,” Theo said after the silence had stretched out a little longer. “I am sorry for you, and your mother, for having to endure such a thing.”

She let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding.

“Thank you, Theo. That… that means a good deal.”

Nerves were still simmering just under her skin, and Theo’s proximity was stirring up heat in her gut. Anna was not sure whether she liked it or not. It was too reminiscent of the kiss they’d shared in her room. The memory of it made her skin prickle, and she bounced to her feet, pacing to and fro.

“There’s nothing we can do about it, is there?” she said impatiently. “About the debt, I mean. I could use my allowance?—”

Theo held up a hand. “Enough about your allowance. That is pin money, not to be spent on matters like these. You can save or spend your money as you wish, but it is not housekeeping money. The issue will be if Lord Downton refuses to sell the debt, or will only accept payment from your mother. He can be troublesome if he wishes.”

Anna clenched her hands at her sides. “Wretched man. I’d like to drop something heavy on his head, or shoot him, or?—”

“Calm down, calm down, my bloodthirsty little Duchess.” Theo laughed, getting to his feet and coming towards her. He gently put his large hands on her shoulders, sending shivers down her spine.

She didn’t want him to stop touching her, though. Almost without deciding to do so, Anna found herself leaning into his touch.

The next thing she knew, his arms were wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her close to him. His broad chest was warm and softer than she might have expected, and it was the easiest thing in the world to rest her cheek on his shoulder and close her eyes.

“You needn’t worry about men like Lord Downton, my dear,” Theo said, his voice low. “Not ever again. You see, men like that enjoy bullying those smaller and weaker than them. He won’t much like it when the tables are turned, that’s for sure.”

“He did a great deal to get to me. I’m not easily frightened, but it was… it was scary.”

She felt him rest his hand on her back, the warmth of his long fingers seeping into her skin. Anna’s heart was hammering. Her tongue flicked out to moisten her dry lips, and she swallowed hard. Desire coiled in her gut—she could recognize it for what it was now, and there seemed no sense in calling it anything else.

“Well, that’s a pity,” Theo said, a hint of a growl in his voice. “Because you are mine, and nobody can have you but me. Certainly not that vile little man.”

She wanted something and wanted it badly . She wanted him to chase away the memory of the Earl’s sneering face, to remind her that nobody, nobody would ever make her feel quite so small and helpless again.

“Please,” she croaked, the word sounding simultaneously too loud and too quiet in the still library.

“Hm?” Theo’s voice came from somewhere above her head.

She swallowed. “Isn’t… isn’t that what you wanted me to say?”

There was a heartbeat of confusion, and then she felt the Duke’s body tighten as he understood her meaning.

“I see,” he said, his voice neutral.

She had half expected a little mockery, perhaps for him to make a joke of it all.

She certainly hadn’t expected to have her chin pinched, her face firmly tilted up toward his. Anna only had time to take in Theo’s face, dark with desire and satisfaction, before he kissed her.

It was, in short, an excellent kiss.

Anna wrapped her arms around his shoulders, mostly to steady herself, and allowed him to take the lead. Her hands slid around, almost without her consent, across his wide shoulders, her fingertips dancing on the warm skin of his neck, pushing up into his thick, mercifully non-pomaded hair.

One of his arms was firmly around her waist, pressing her against him with quite a delicious pressure, and the other hand was on the back of her head, no doubt loosening the hair Esther had worked so hard to pin up.

That was a bothersome thought, and Anna finally disentangled herself enough to gasp out, “Theo, mind my hair!”

His face was flushed, an odd look in his eyes, but he paused enough to raise an eyebrow. “Your hair ?”

She blushed. “I can’t pin it up myself, and unless we can sneak out of Lady Tether’s house with my hair all around my shoulders…”

He rolled his eyes, groaning aloud. “You ladies and your fripperies. Very well, I shall mind not to ruin your hair or your dress.”

Anna hadn’t even thought about her dress. The bodice alone had several layers, which she would not be able to get out of or into again without help. The laces…

She had no time to think further about the construction of her gown because, at that moment, Theo lifted her with great ease and deposited her on a nearby desk.

“Oof,” Anna gasped, nearly losing her balance.

Her skirts billowed around her, and she might have toppled backward if Theo had not grabbed her around the waist and hauled her forward. Her skirts and the petticoats underneath foamed around them both, almost comically so, and she was suddenly aware that her legs were open and Theo was standing between them.

Before she could blush with embarrassment at this new development, he slid a hand around her neck and pulled her to him for a deep, slow kiss.

“Now,” he breathed once they had broken apart for air, “let’s see if we can make you think only of your husband.”

Anna opened her mouth to ask him what exactly he was planning, but the words died in her throat. Wrestling her layers of skirts aside, Theo had managed to slip his hand underneath the impractical gown, a fact that Anna did not notice until his fingertips touched the bare skin of her thigh.

She gasped, flinching. He had deliberately slid his hand above the silk of her stockings, and she could feel his warm palm pressing against the top of her thigh.

Anna wrapped her arms around his shoulders again, partially for balance and partially to have some way of steadying herself as his fingers slid higher and higher until he reached the apex of her thighs. Anna had to press her hand to her mouth when his forefinger traced a line upwards, circling at the top. She heard, and felt, his chuckle against the delicate skin of her neck as he repeated the movement again and again.

The coil of desire in her gut began to unspool, growing more and more urgent, tensing up her muscles slowly but surely. She pressed her knees into Theo’s sides, her fingers gripping his shoulders and even weaving into his hair, pulling in a way that must have hurt, but he never said a word.

Anna felt rough moans fighting their way up her throat, and she leaned forward, bending over Theo’s head. Her chin dug into his cheek, and it must have been uncomfortable, but he only growled low, pulling her closer. His movements sped up, practiced, with just the right mix of pressure and gentleness.

Her climax, when it came, was powerful and like nothing she had ever felt before. Gasping, Anna sagged against Theo, who seemed to be a firm, immovable rock in a world that was turning to quicksand around her.

She heard him chuckle again, right in her ear.

“Now then, Duchess,” he said, his voice a slow drawl that made her shiver again, “wasn’t that worth asking for?”

Anna felt the urge to laugh, and she flopped bonelessly against him, her skirts in a tangle, bunched up around them both, and his knuckles still grazing the soft skin of her inner thigh.

As the waves of pleasure gradually receded, sobering her up, Anna found herself wondering what would happen next. Surely this was only the opening move in a much more complicated dance. What was she meant to do? Would he be upset if she could not perform quite as well? What if…

“Theo,” she began, not sure whether she wanted to air her worries or not. But it didn’t matter, because at that moment, footsteps and muted voices sounded outside.

Both of them froze. Theo’s head whipped towards the door. Anna held her breath.

The voices grew closer, and somebody laughed quietly. And then, quite without a warning, the handle of the library door turned.

Anna let out a squeak of alarm, clapping a hand over her mouth. The doorknob jiggled.

“What’s this?” came an unfamiliar voice. “Why’s the door locked? Who’s in there? Open up at once!”