Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

A melia shook in Richard’s arms all through the carriage ride back to Heartwick. The rush and shock of her experience were still racking her body with errant energy, and the overwhelm from it all was nearly crushing. She believed heartily that she would sleep for a week once in her bed.

The familiar sight of the estate—her home for the past five years—appeared before them, and Amelia almost began to sob again for the joy of seeing it. As Richard helped her down from the coach, he walked her up to the front entrance, his hand never leaving her arm. Amelia welcomed the assistance and—in truth—the affection of his touch.

“Your Grace!” Jane rushed forward at them as Richard pushed open the door. “You are all right!”

It was informal, to say the least, but Jane hurried to Amelia’s side, throwing her arms around her neck. Amelia couldn’t be bothered to care in the slightest, and the rest of the staff only looked on with happy smiles, all understanding how important this moment was.

“Jane, would you please be sure to have the doctor come? I want him to look over Amelia for any damage we might have missed.” Richard’s voice was calm, but she could feel the tension in his fingers as he held her elbow.

“You should be examined as well. You took quite the tumble with Isaac. Your back must ache.” She smiled up at him weakly, nearly too tired to continue standing.

“Hmm,” Richard hummed, “you may have a notion there. It does not feel pleasant.”

He winced a little, putting his hand on his back and groaning once more.

“For now,” Richard held out his hand, “I believe it would be best if we both rested in bed.”

Amelia was inclined to agree with her husband. Still, she silently wondered if they would be taking to two different beds.

“Allow me to help you,” he smiled, still waiting for her to accept. Amelia did, and the two of them began to ascend the staircase.

Jane had suggested cold compresses for our bruises and aches, and she insisted that she would be right up with them—as well as two of the housemaids—to ensure we had everything we needed. It felt lovely to be looked upon with such care. However, Amelia had to admit to herself that she was unlikely to even be awake for their return. She was exhausted.

Once they reached the top of the stairs, Richard took Amelia down to his room. They exchanged no words as they got inside and stripped the dirty, ripped clothing from themselves. Finished, Amelia was helped into the bed in her chemise, and Richard wore only breeches.

They had been a fortuitous choice for his traveling to the countryside that, of course, never happened. Being made from the sturdy leather, they had protected his legs and the dirt had not clung to them much.

Sitting in the bed and staring up at her husband, Amelia felt her throat tighten. She needed to say something. She needed to ask the question that lingered in her mind, but she would not deny the fear that coursed through her.

“Are you…are you staying in here?”

Richard glanced at her, offering a gentle smile, and then climbed into the bed next to her. As he sat down, reclining against the headboard, Richard opened his arm and pulled her against his side.

“I am.” He nodded. “In fact, I will not be leaving Heartwick at all.”

Amelia’s pulse hurried, the flame of optimism steadily being fanned to life. It still felt so dangerous to hope, but if perchance Richard had truly changed his mind…

“You wish to remain in Heartwick for the future?” He nodded. “Why? What has…altered your thinking?”

Richard sighed, and Amelia felt his body sag underneath hers like he was releasing a monumental burden. It was as if, for the first time since she’d met the man all those years ago, Amelia was getting an honest look at the man she married. One that was not accompanied by the heat of passion but by the raw vulnerability he was displaying.

“I had promised myself a long time ago that I would not allow myself to trust another person. I had been so burned by the wrath of my father and my perceived abandonment of my stepmother that the notion of allowing myself to possibly feel that again seemed altogether terrifying. It was an invitation for more pain, and I would not damn myself to that.”

Silence flooded the space between them for a moment, and Amelia knew that she needed to give it to him. Richard needed this time to collect his thoughts and decide how he wished to reveal his private truths. She would not rush him.

“I was wrong to leave you, Amelia.” He turned from where he’d been staring at the bed and met her eyes. “Because it appears that despite my best efforts, I have come to trust you implicitly—with everything I have.”

Amelia’s entire being warmed, the spark of joy that bloomed behind her ribs encompassing the whole of the universe as well.

“You have woven yourself into the fabric of my heart, and I am incapable of denying it. I had known I cared for you, even as I held back the words from even myself because I had believed in vain that I was protecting you from a man who could not give you the affections you deserve.”

Richard took her hands, only looking away briefly to knot his fingers through her before returning to her stare with a gaze of his own that was open and unguarded.

“I am still convinced that you could do so much better a match than me, but I do not wish to see you with anyone else. I am not well-educated in the world of love or relationships, and I know that I will stumble more times than not. But…”

Taking a deep breath, which was shaky and made Richard’s body rumble against hers, Amelia watched as her husband’s eyes became glassy. He spoke through a throat too tight and dry.

“I find that I have not only given you my trust, but your very being has seared itself into the core of my soul. I adore you, Amelia. I wish to never be parted from you after today. I had never wished for love or to find a woman who so challenged and awed me. But I have been given that gift, and I do not wish to take it for granted a moment longer.”

He took her face in his hands, touching his forehead to hers as Amelia’s eyes began to sting with tears. The world spun, the confession coming from her husband too much of what she’d longed to hear that she feared she might wake up any second.

“Richard,” Amelia’s voice cracked, “I was terrified that I might never see you again. The only thought in my mind was surviving so that I might make it back to you.”

Her husband’s grasp on her face tightened a hair, not enough to cause discomfort but to allow the depth of Richard’s emotions to fill the gesture to the brim.

“I will never forgive myself for not being there when Isaac attacked you. We are so lucky that he was not able to harm you further, and I will seek to make up for that woeful cowardice that drove me to try to leave you behind until my final day.”

Amelia shook her head, the tears coming harder. “I am not angry with you, Richard. I understand your past has caused irreparable damage, and I cannot imagine what it would be like to be so mistreated by your own father. Only so much in that, my own was distant and strict. But I had never doubted his love for me.

“You have every call to be protective of yourself. Though,” Amelia smiled, ducking her head so that she could press in closer to Richard, “I will forever be glad that I was able to make you see that I do not want to harm you or break your trust. I enjoy our back-and-forth more than anything. The ways we push each other to be better are the foundation of who we are as a couple. I don’t want to change that, but I would like it very much if you stayed.”

Holding herself to him for a moment, Amelia smiled even as the tears dribbled down her cheek. After a time, Richard pulled her up so that he could gaze down at her, and his smile was a sunny warmth that she had only ever seen during their moments of passion.

“I love you, Amelia. I do my utmost to ensure that I am the husband you deserve, one who treats you with kindness instead of maintaining a distance that solidifies an arrangement of convenience. I will treat you as my equal and take you along with me wherever life pulls us.”

She grinned so hard her cheeks ached, and Amelia pressed her lips to Richard’s. “I love you, too.”

When they had caressed as much as the fatigue and injury would allow, Amelia looked up at Richard once more, holding out her hand so that he might shake it.

“Where you go, I go. What one decides, we both decide.”

Richard nodded. “Agree, dearest Amelia. Agreed.”

They allowed themselves to sink deeper into the bed, sleep looking to claim them within moments. Still, the doctor had been called, and he took that moment as the one to enter. It was not much for time, the man looking over them, but it was decided that the two required their rest and were not to leave the bed for at least the next day.

“It appears that we are to be bound to this soft atmosphere for an entire day,” Amelia smirked, gazing up into Richard’s eyes as he laid over her, his arms on either side of her head.

“What will we do to pass the time, I wonder.”

Amelia giggled lightly, and Richard was quick to follow with a deep chuckle that was equal parts serene and seductive. She reached up, brushing her lips over his before finding his sides with her hands and playfully dragging her fingers along the ridges.

“I believe you said that you would be making up for things until your final end. Perhaps, sweet husband, you should start now?”

Wagging her eyebrows, Amelia pulled lightly on Richard’s sides, encouraging him to slip down her body and get to work.

“I am at your command, dearest.” Richard smiled, slowly pulling his arms away from her so that he could shuffle down.

“Hmm, if that is the case, darling,” Amelia laid her hands on his shoulders, pushing the Duke downward so that he would lay between her legs, “Do that marvelous trick with your tongue again, and I shall see how I am feeling afterward.”

One corner of his mouth ticked up in a grin, and Richard took the command, lying down between her things before dragging his hands up along the inside of them inches away from her seam.

“Your wish, dearest Amelia,” he lowered his head, breathing across her slightly so that her nerves went haywire immediately, “is my command.”