20. King

20

KING

It's late. I should be in bed, but I don't want to be because after spending the day with Haven, I don't want the night to end.

She's talked nonstop since we got home. Asking her to be a part of the community center project was a great idea. She has her notebook out and is writing down all the things she wants to do there. I was already excited about this project, but the way she's been giddy about it, it takes the excitement to a whole new level.

She sits down on the couch next to me, her hip next to mine, and I don't want to make any sudden movements because I don't want her to move. She's talking animatedly, and I can't take my eyes off her. I don't know if she realizes it or not, but she's touched my hand and reached for me more today than she ever has. I'm trying not to pressure her, but the more time I spend with her, the more I want her.

She stops mid-sentence and puts her hand on my forearm. "Thanks again for letting me help."

"Help? I think we talked about this earlier, didn't we? You're in charge, Haven. You get the final decision on things. You get a salary. You can hire an assistant to take over when you do your modeling or if you need time off. Whatever you want."

"You're not paying me, King."

"It's a job. You're not doing it for free. It's going to take a lot of your time."

She shakes her head side to side. "No, it doesn't feel right."

Somehow I need to make her understand. "I didn't marry you to get free labor, Haven. I don't expect you to do this out of the kindness of your big heart. It's going to take time out of your schedule. I'm paying you."

She squeezes my arm. "But do you have any idea what this place means to me already? This is amazing, King. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm doing something with purpose. I'm excited about something."

I sigh because I know exactly how she feels. I put up some of the biggest buildings in the city, but this thirty thousand square foot building means more to me than anything I've ever done.

She changes the subject and leans the side of her face against the couch as she looks at me. "Why a community center? You could put in a dozen other things that would make you money—why the community center?"

I shrug. "Why did you become a model?"

She's fast in her response. "The free clothes."

I don't believe her. There has to be more to it than that. "Now tell me the real reason."

She leans back. "I don't know. I spent most my life not being seen. My mom and dad didn't see me. I had to take care of myself; I had no one. For the first time, people were looking at me." She rolls her eyes. "Gah, that sounds so stupid, doesn't it?"

It pains me to know that she felt that way. I saw her across a parking lot and knew she was special. How could her mom and dad and everyone else that let her down not see her and not love her the way she should be loved? My voice is thick with emotion. "No, it's not stupid at all. "

She nods her head. "Okay, your turn. Why a community center? I mean, you own the biggest construction company around here. You have thousands of employees. You have people lined up to get on your schedule and could stay busy for years and years… but you decided to do a community center. Why?"

I try not to think about the past a lot. I thought I'd moved on from the little boy that was scared all the time, but no matter how hard I tried to run away from my past, it always caught up to me. I'm figuring that this is the best way to heal my past and to help other kids that were just like me. "I told you that I was raised in foster homes."

She nods and looks at me expectantly, knowing there's more.

"Well, it was hard. It was hard for me. It was hard for Holden, Ledger, Dom, Gabe, and Chrissy. And a hundred other kids in this town. We needed help, and it felt like no one cared. I know that's crazy now, and there's a thousand people that would want to help these kids, but when you're living it, you feel like there's no one. I want to provide a place that helps kids. Kids like me but also kids like you and anyone else that needs it. I don't expect to change the world, but maybe if I can help some kids know that there are people willing to stand up for them and protect them, then I can change their world."

She leans her head against my chest and wraps her arm around my waist. She squeezes on to me, and I cover her hand with my own. The sensation of her against me feels right. I wish I could tell her how I feel about her, but I bite my tongue. She's not ready to hear it, and it's not like I can change the rules already. We've only been married a little over twenty-four hours.

A few moments pass by, and she whispers to me, "You're a good man, King."

I suck in a deep breath because her words hit me right in the chest. It means so much to me that she says that. If anything, she makes me want to be a better man. I hold her tighter, and even though I can't say it out loud, I say it in my head. I want more with you, Haven. I know I said I wanted to do this because of my fuckin' reputation and I wanted to have kids, but the truth is, I can't let you go. I don't want to let you go. I wish I could say it to you and tell you how I feel, but I'm afraid that all I'll end up doing is pushing you away.

Haven burrows herself into my side. "I should get up and go to bed."

"Or we could just stay here. "

She raises up so she can see my face. "You have to be tired. Neither one of us slept last night."

I loosen my hold on her, but I don't let her go. I want her to make the decision. "I'm comfortable right here, but it's your choice, peaches."

I wish I could take her to our room and sleep in our bed, but I don't have that option. Not yet. I can see her debating, and I murmur, "Stay."

She settles against me. "If you want to give up your comfortable bed for this couch, who am I to argue with you?"

I bury my nose in her hair. "I'm choosing you over our bed, Haven."

Her fingers are tracing patterns on my chest, and it's driving me crazy, but I'm not going to stop her. Hell, it's like torture, but this is what I want. I want her to feel comfortable to touch me any way she wants.

Her hand continues exploring, and she has no idea how it affects me. "Okay, then. I choose you over my bed too."

I prop my feet up on the coffee table, put an arm around her shoulder, and pull her into me. "Is this okay?"

She snuggles into me. "It's perfect, King."