18. King

18

KING

Everything comes together easily.

People don't tell me no, and when I call in favors to pull this off, everyone steps in to offer a hand.

Now here we are, standing in my living room, and I'm looking into Haven's eyes.

She's nervous, that much is true, but she's brave, and she's standing here with her hands in mine, looking into my eyes.

My brothers are not here, but they'll understand.

Chrissy is here because there's no way she was going to miss it.

The pastor is talking about in sickness and in health, rich and poor, and when it's my turn to say I do, I say it without any hesitation.

To my surprise, so does Haven.

The room is so quiet, and I feel guilty. I know she said she wanted a small wedding, but now that we're in the thick of it, I feel guilty. She deserves a big wedding. She deserves people to ooh and aah over her beauty, and more than anything, I want everyone to know that she's taken and she's mine.

It's only after the preacher that we dragged out of bed pronounces us husband and wife that shock seems to take over.

I walk the preacher to the front door, leaving Chrissy and Haven together. After paying him, I walk back in and over to Haven. Chrissy hugs me and tells Haven congratulations. "Drive safe."

She rolls her eyes. "I live two doors down. I'll drive safe."

As soon as she's gone, I grab Haven's hand and pull her to the couch to sit down. "Where would you like to go for our honeymoon?"

She swallows. "Uh, I can't take off. I have a photoshoot next week. Plus, this is fake, King. We don't have to do the whole honeymoon thing."

"Don't say that," I demand.

"Don't say what? That this is fake? I know what this is, and I think it's best that we both remember it."

I should be happy with what she's saying, but I'm not. I know what we talked about, and I know that I'm not capable of a real marriage with love and all that shit. This is the plan, and we should stick with it… so why do I want more? Why is it physically painful to me when she says this is fake? "The only people that know this isn't real is me and you."

She crosses her arms over her chest and juts her chin at me. "So your brothers and your sister think this is real?"

"I never said fake to them."

She tilts her head to the side like she's trying to understand. "Well, what exactly did you tell them?"

"I told them we planned to have a baby together."

She looks over my shoulder, and when I follow her gaze, I see that she's looking at the big framed picture of me, my brothers, and my sister. She gets up and walks across the room to take a closer look. "What did they say? Did they try and talk you out of it?"

I had told her I wouldn't lie to her anymore, and I plan to keep that promise. "Not really. They didn't understand because they know I'm not capable of love."

She hugs herself, and I wish I could see her face. She doesn't say anything. I stand up from the couch and walk over to her. As I get close, I stand behind her and wait for her to turn around. I'm sure she's overwhelmed right now, and I already pressured her into marrying me. I need to give her space.

When she doesn't turn around, I need to know she's all right. "Are you okay?"

She nods and finally turns to look at me. "I know I agreed to this, and I know what the goal is here… but I need time."

I hold my hands up. "There's no pressure, peaches. You have my ring on your finger. The rest can wait until you're ready."

The relief on her face says it all. I've taken full advantage of her, and I need to back off. I physically take a step back. "Callan should be here with your clothes soon. I put some of my sweats and T-shirts in your room if you want to sleep in them."

"My room?"

I nod and try to hide the dissatisfaction on my face. I want her in my bed. If it was up to me, that's exactly where she would be. But it's not up to me, and I'm already pushing my luck with her. The last thing I want is to spook her and have her run away from me. "Yeah, no pressure, Haven. We'll take it slow."

I can't tell if she's happy about it or not, but she points down the hall. "Which is my room?"

Fuck. I didn't even think about showing her around. Everything has been so rushed. "Come on, I'll give you the grand tour."

We start downstairs, and I take her through the living room, the kitchen, office, and spare guestroom. As we walk upstairs, I just point at my room, not wanting to stress her out, and then take her to the bedroom next to mine. "This is you. Or if you want another room, you can have it."

She looks around the room, and I'm fast to tell her, "You can make any changes you want." She keeps looking. "To any room in the house. I want you comfortable here, so you can redecorate or anything you want to do. This is your house, and you can do anything you want to it."

I go over to the curtains and draw them back. The backyard is dark, but the moonlight makes the pool shimmer. "There's a pool and a gym out back."

She sighs, and I can't help it, I have to look her in the face. Standing next to her, I tell her, "Look at me, Haven."

She turns to look at me, and she looks lost. "Are you overwhelmed?"

When she doesn't answer, I reach for her, putting my hands on her shoulders. She doesn't flinch, but she doesn't open to me like she has been. "Tell me, baby, are you okay?"

She shudders a breath. "Honestly, I don't know."

I hold my arms out and wait to see what she wants. I'd give anything to hold her but only if she wants to.

It's only when she steps toward me and wraps her arms around my waist that I close my arms around her and hold her flush to my body. I know I fucked up, and that's all I seem to do with her. The need to claim her as mine overshadowed what she wanted. "Do you regret it?"

I hold my breath, waiting for her to answer. What will I do if she says yes? The right thing to do is give her an annulment, but I know I won't be able to do that. I can't let her go. If she'll give me time, I'll show her how good we could be together.

"No," she whispers against my throat.

My chest shudders, and I kiss the top of her head. "Okay… me either. I'm sorry I rushed you, but I'm not sorry that you're mine." I lean back and lift her chin so I can look her in the eye. "Take all the time you need."

She nods, and I'm about to kiss her, but she buries her head against my chest. I hold on to her, knowing that I'm going to do everything I can to make sure she's happy.