10. King

10

KING

"I passed!" Victor exclaims as he walks into the office.

I'm waiting for Haven to arrive, and she's already fifteen minutes late. "Congratulations!" I say to him.

"Thank you," he says. "I owe it all to you. I'll pay you back."

I'm shaking my head. "I don't want your money."

He's so excited it takes him a minute to catch on that I'm preoccupied. "What's going on? What time is your"—he holds his hands up to make finger quotes—"appointment?"

"She's late… I think she knows."

Victor's mouth falls open. "Wait, what? She knows? You mean she knows, knows? Like she knows that you're not a therapist?"

I give one nod, and Victor starts to freak out. "Oh shit, what are we going to do? You're not qualified to do this… oh my God, she's going to sue me… I'll never work in this town again—"

I cut him off. "First of all, you weren't qualified to do this until today, so don't act righteous. Second of all, I'll take care of it."

He sputters and stutters, "You'll take care of it? Why does that sound so ominous? What are you going to do?"

"Fuck, Victor. Chill the fuck out. I'll take care of it."

I may tell him to chill, but I'm freaking the fuck out. She knows. I should never have gone to that show yesterday. I was stupid to think I could go and it wouldn't end up in the paper or something.

I worried all morning that she knew, but when she missed her appointment, I had no doubt something was up.

I could call her, but I need to do this face to face. "Give me her address."

Victor's already shaking his head. "No way, I'm not getting involved. She'll wind up dead or something, and I'll be the one to blame… no way. "

I grab on to his collar and shake him. "Shit, man, I'm not going to kill her. I'm going to fix this. Now give me her fuckin' address."

I'm completely on edge and about to lose my shit. He pulls out his phone and opens the appointment app. After some clicking and scrolling, he holds up his phone, showing me her address. I flinch, realizing she lives on the east side in a less than stellar community. Hell, if I knew that, I would have moved her somewhere safer.

Without another word to Victor, I walk out the door, through the hotel, and outside to my waiting driver. "We're going to the east side, Callan."

He just raises his eyebrows and then shuts the door after I get in.

When he's behind the steering wheel, I rattle off the address, and he scrunches up his nose in disgust, but he doesn't say anything else.

When we pull up outside her apartment building, Callan gets out. "Want me to go with you?"

I hold my hand up. "I got this."

I look up and down the sidewalk before walking to the apartment in front of me. There's a welcome mat and a flower next to the door, making it look much brighter and welcoming than the apartments surrounding it.

I knock on the door, and I can hear the sound of shuffling feet on the other side, but the door doesn't open. I knock again. "Haven, I know you're in there. I want to talk."

I wait and am about to knock again when the door swings open. Haven is mad, that much is obvious. Her face is red, and she's glaring at me as she leans against the open door. "Why should I talk to you? I don't owe you anything, Ridge Beckett."

"King," I correct her. "My friends call me King."

She shrugs and glares harder. "Well, I'm not your friend, so I won't be calling you that. What can I do for you, Mr. Beckett?"

I hate the sound of my name on her lips when she says it like that. I frown, but I refuse to give up. That is not an option. "Give me five minutes."

She walks out on the porch and crosses her arms over her chest. "Fine. I'll give you five minutes, but I'll be doing the talking. You lied to me. Why?"

I blow out a breath. "Because I saw you and I wanted to get to know you."

Her lips purse. "So you wanted to fuck me. "

I take a step toward her. "I'm not going to deny I'm attracted to you."

She blurts out a laugh. "That's pretty funny that you pick a twenty-five-year-old virgin with intimacy issues. Needless to say, I'm not going to fuck you."

"Quit saying that."

I hate seeing the way she's distanced herself from all this. It's like she's completely cut me off, and I hate it. What I hate more is that I did this to her.

She shrugs her shoulders, and her face is void of any emotion. "Quit saying what? Fuck? That's what it would be, right? You were looking for a quick lay… and you obviously picked the wrong girl, so can we move on now?"

I take another step toward her, and her eyebrows raise, but she doesn't back down. I grit my teeth, wanting to shake sense into her, but I don't touch her. "Quit saying fuck because that's not what we would be doing, peaches. If… when… we do that, it will be making love."

Her mouth falls open, but she catches herself and slams it shut, shaking her head. "Forget it, Mr. Beckett. I'm not falling for anything you say. How did you do this? What happened to my therapist? Did you off him or something? Is that something you do in your world?"

I slam my hand through my hair. "Why is this the second time today that someone assumes I'm killing someone? I didn't kill anyone. Victor is fine and in the office. I made him do this…"

Her eyes are round and unforgiving. She's shaking her head and tries to walk inside again, but I plead with her. "Haven, stop. Please."

She juts her chin at me, and even though she's trying to be strong, I see the hurt in her eyes. "Was it a bet? One of your buddies want to see you land the fat chick?"

"No. Of course not."

She puts a hand on her hip, and the movement puts her closer to me. "Really? Well, I see the women you date, and I don't look anything like them, so there's something up. Tell me the truth for once. Did you want to see what it was like with a big girl? Is that what this is about?"

I can't hide the anger from my voice. "Quit talking about yourself that way. When I first saw you, I was attracted to you, and I wanted to get to know you. I saw you with Victor, and I didn't even know your fucking name, and I was eaten up with jealousy. Look, I know what I did was wrong. I was going to tell you and then I got to know you—"

She cuts me off angrily. "You don't know me."

"I do know you." I lean down until our faces are only inches apart. "I do know you, Haven. Even though you try to cut yourself off from everyone, you want to feel a connection, like you belong."

She rolls her eyes, and I continue. "You observe people and look for the good in everyone. You're patient and kind, you bite your lip when you're nervous. You're beautiful all the time, and I love to see the confident side of you when you're modeling, but I'm jealous at the same time. You like candied orange slices, you cut your entire steak up before you take one bite, and you prefer to drink water more than anything else." I pause and take a deep breath before I continue. "I know that your family never held you, never hugged you or told you that they loved you. I know I ruined the trust you had in me, but I'm determined to make it right and prove to you that you can trust me and I won't hurt you."

She sucks in and breath and slowly blows it out. "I know that even though you like your job, you want more than anything to have a family of your own."

A lone tear rolls down her cheek, and she wipes at it angrily. "You know all that because you lied to me about who you are. I thought you were some sort of therapist… and that I could trust you."

I put my hand over my heart as if doing so will hold it together. "You can trust me, peaches."

She shakes her head and takes a step back. "Don't call me that."

When I move to go after her, she puts her hands up to stop me. "No. I don't trust you, Mr. Beckett. As far as I'm concerned, you hurt me, lied to me, and played with me, and now you expect me to just accept it and move on. I can't do that… Forget it, we're just wasting time here… Will you please go?"

"But—" I start, and she stops me.

The tears start to come harder, and it's like a kick in my chest that I can only stand here and watch it. I would give anything to hold her or touch her. "Haven, please."

She moves inside her apartment and puts her hand on the door. "I fell for your lies once, Ridge. I won't do it again."

With that, she shuts the door in my face.

I go to the door to knock again, but as I raise my hand, I can't get the image of her crying out of my head. I hurt her by lying to her, and I've hurt her again by coming today. I know what I need to do even though I don't want to do it. I put my hands on each side of her door and lean my forehead against the hardwood. I need to walk away, but I can't. "Haven… I'm leaving… but I'm not giving up. Just know that I'm not giving up."

There's no response from the other side of the door, so I raise up and shake my head. "I'm not giving up," I whisper before turning around and walking off her porch. Callan has the door open for me, and I slide into the back. I haven't felt this helpless since I was a young kid in a foster home, and I don't like it. But what's fuckin' killing me is that right now, Haven feels worse… and I did that to her.