Chapter 22

22

Delving Into The Past

D akota woke alone in her bed. The previous night had been magical, but she was still disappointed . How were they supposed to be man and wife when he would not make love to her?

She thought about it again.

It was because they were not in love. How could they make love when they did not love each other? Dakota shook the thought from her head. Many couples were not in love, and that had never stopped a man before.

She had seen the lustful look in his eyes and the bulging mind in his trousers. There was every indication that he wanted to be pleasured properly, but something held him back.

Dakota knew exactly what that thing was. If he wanted to be pleasured and did not go through with it, it could only be because of her.

She thought about giving in to the situation and crying into her hands until she felt the release of emotion, but she was sick of feeling this way. She decided instead to discover exactly what was holding him back. Then, at least, she might be able to do something about it.

A knock at the door started her. Mallory entered a few seconds later with a basin of fresh water, ready to help Dakota wash and dress for the day. Dakota moved quickly to the cool water and washed away her tears.

The Laird's return had been a welcome one, and she thought they might have come to some sort of understanding, and he had said and done things that had made her feel funny inside, but it was obvious that he still detested her.

"Thank ye, Mallory."

"Welcome, m'Lady. Is there anythin' else I can get for ye?"

"It looks mighty late—I overslept a little. Do ye ken where the Laird might be?"

"Aye, he took a ride out in the meadows."

"Then, will ye help me into me ridin' breeches?"

"Of course, m'Lady."

Mallory must have sensed that Dakota was in a rush, and she helped her dress quickly. Dakota practically flew from the room and down the stairs. She did not stop for breakfast and went straight to the stables.

Arnold was there, tending to the horses, and he quickly saddled Cloud. Fifteen minutes after waking, Dakota was riding toward the meadows.

For a brief moment in her life, she was free of everything—responsibilities, obligations, and everything else that had clouded her life since birth. Her life had not been bad, but it had not been glorious either. But her life was wild and unchained for a brief moment atop Cloud.

Dakota's curly brown hair lifted behind her, undulating like waves of earthy soil. She leaned back a little as she picked up the pace, the wind whipping at her cheeks. She had half a mind to ride on as far as she could in a straight line and discover where life took her.

The speck on the horizon brought her back to reality. She rode straight toward her husband with frustration in her heart. She could not help but admire his posture and power on the large animal, but she did not know if that was enough.

The Laird did not see her initially, and she approached from the side, riding at a curved angle to cut him off before he rode down the incline toward the heather-covered moors. When he did spot her, he whipped at the reins, driving the horse faster—goading her into a race.

Dakota was equal to it, and she whipped on her reins, driving her horse at a diagonal to catch him before he got to the moors. The Laird's horse might have been powerful, but Cloud was swift (an animal worthy of a portrait).

When Dakota followed William's line, she was only ten yards behind. She pushed Cloud as fast as he would go, and he was equal to the task. They soon pulled up alongside the Laird, and he smiled at his wife, but she was not done yet.

She tugged on the right rein, and Cloud nudged into the Laird's horse. He looked at her with confusion as they continued to run at full pace. Cloud was not as strong as the Laird's animal, but he was faster. Dakota pulled ahead and cut in front of the Laird. He had to pull on the reins, and the horse reared up.

Dakota circled back around to the Laird as he came to a full stop—she had a bright grin .

"What the blast are ye doin'?" he shouted as he leaped from the horse onto the soft ground below. He patted the horse's mane to ensure it was calm.

"Nothin'," replied Dakota as she leaped from her horse.

"Ye could have caused an accident," said the Laird.

"It almost sounds like ye care about me?"

"What are ye talkin' about, Dakota."

She strode straight for him, her hands on her hips. "I'm talkin' about ye not wantin' to make love to me. I thought everythin' had changed between us, but it's all just the same mess. Can ye nae see what ye mean to me?"

"What? Have ye gone mad? Ye came all the way out here to hear me say what ye already ken? Do me actions nae tell ye exactly what I think of ye?"

"Nay, they do nae" shouted Dakota. "I daenae ken how ye feel about me because ye dinnae tell me. Ye might pleasure me, but we both ken that has nothin' to do with anythin'. I want to be pleasured by ye, and I love bein' pleasured by ye, but this is bigger than that. I want to reciprocate the pleasure, William."

"Aye, ye are a fine one to complain about all the pleasure ye get."

William turned away from her, and Dakota could tell there was more bubbling beneath the surface. She rubbed a hand over her face and took a couple of paces to calm herself before turning back to face her husband.

"Daenae try to turn this around on me. This is nae about who gets the most pleasure. Ye came back from yer trip, and ye told me ye missed me, and I thought we had some sort of connection—I thought we might actually be able to live as husband and wife. Then, ye tell me that ye want to have children with me, but when it comes to the act, ye willnae even try! I long for yer touch, but ye willnae let me touch ye. I want to make love to ye, but ye daenae want to make love to me. What am I supposed to think?"

William sighed. "It's nae as simple as that. I do want to make love to ye."

"Well?" Dakota put her hands on her hips once more. "There's nay one around."

"Here! Have ye gone mad?"

"See! Yer words calm me, but yer actions deanae. Did ye really miss me when ye were away?"

"Och, will ye calm down, lass! Ye daenae sound like yerself when ye talk like that. Of course, I missed ye."

"I will not ca—"

"Aye, ye will because ye daenae ken what is happenin' around ye."

"Well, it is yer turn to enlighten me," said Dakota.

"I'm worried ye'll get hurt."

"Daenae worry about that; I can take whatever ye throw at me."

William shook his head in disbelief and frustration. "It's nae what I say to ye; it's what he might do to ye."

"Who? Oh, ye mean the Englishman?"

"Aye, Conall Millar."

"What might he do to me?"

"I daenae ken, but ye told me about him followin' ye in the market, and he was flirtin' with ye, and he was buyin' ingredients for poison, and that all coincided with me being down where he has been causin' trouble. This is all not a coincidence."

"Ye went west to visit with him?"

"Nay, I went to visit with me men, but the trouble was caused by him even if me men were the foolish ones. He's been makin' for retaliation for years, and now I have ye."

"Ye think he would hurt me? What about Daisy? She was with me too."

"I daenae ken, but I daenae think he would hurt her. He wants to hurt me, and he will do anythin' to do that. I think him accostin' ye in the marketplace was a warnin'. He was up here to do somethin', and when he found out who ye were, he turned his attention to ye. Ye did well to summon Cameron, or I daenae ken what he might have done."

"Ye're serious about this? Listen, I daenae ken what is goin' on, and I agreed to this marriage without kennin' any of this, so I think I deserve an explanation. If I'm in trouble, I want to ken just how much. I'm nae returnin' to the castle until ye tell me what is goin' on."

William held her gaze for a while, considering what he might do next.

"Yer first-best when it comes to stuff like this, ye ken? If I had married yer sister, she would have run for the hills by now or been a screamin' mess."

"Let's hear about the Englishman before I decide where to run," said Dakota.

"Aye," murmured William. "Come and sit in this mound." He waited for Dakota to sit before he continued. "Conall Millar is an English Viscount sent this side of the border to help develop trade routes, though we all know he is here purely from a military standpoint. He spends half his time north of the border and half the time south of it in Sutherland.

"It still baffles me how he became a Viscount at all—it cannae have been through honest means, but that is by the by. He hates Scotland, and he hates bein' here—whoever sent him here did so as a punishment for some wrong he did. He's spent his time in Scotland causin' as much trouble as he can, and he gets away with it for the most part as he has English forces at his disposal.

"I'm nae stupid, but I can be foolish. When I bumped into him, I kenned I should have taken a step back and held the peace, but I couldnae hold me tongue."

William sat down on a large rock close to Dakota with a smile . "He visited a pub I happen to be in—chance brought us together. This was perhaps two or three years ago, and I got caught up in a card game with him. We had both been drinkin', and he took offense to some of me words, though it was really his own bad play he took offense to.

"After I cleared him out of his coin, much to the amusement of Cameron, who was also there, he followed me outside and picked a fight with me. Ye've seen the man—he stood nay chance, but he thought his men would back him. They were more honorable than him, and they let us fight. He left with more than just his ego bruised that day."

"That's it?" asked Dakota. "That's nay reason to start a war with ye."

"Aye, it shouldnae be, but he is a proud man, and I embarrassed him in front of his men. Couple that with whoever humiliation he sustained in England, and he has decided to take all his frustrations out on me. Besides, nay one has ever dared to challenge him as I did, and nay one has since. It is a thorn in his side that he cannae dig out."

Dakota shuffled on the earthy mound. She had never understood the stubbornness and petty squabbles of men. "And he's waited all this time to try and get revenge on ye?"

"Nay, he's been tryin' for years. He might have power, but so do I, and each time he increased his strength, I did too. He cannae attack me directly, but he does start skirmishes. I've out-planned him every time, and he keeps comin' back. I've talked to the man, and he has assured me that he is peaceful and bygones are bygones, but he still goes out of his way to tarnish me name. The funny thin' is that when I fight him off each time, the clan becomes stronger, and I strengthen me title as Laird. He's only doin' me favors."

"Why daenae ye take him on once and for all? Take the fight to him?"

"As if I havenae thought of that! Nay, if I take the fight to him, I would be declarin' war. The English might want him out of the country, but an attack on English forces by Scottish forces would be seen as an act of war, and they would back him."

"So, what do ye do now? Just sit back and wait for him to do somethin' without doin' anythin' back?"

"I ken how that sounds, but that's how it has to be. I have to ignore him."

"Aye, ye told me that I should do the same with his words, but ye are nae ignorin' him, are ye? Ye are scared to live yer life in case he takes somethin' from ye. I am nae scared that he will do somethin' to me, and neither should ye be."

"Ye daenae ken him like I do, Dakota. I ken ye might nae be scared, and I am nae sacred of the man either, but I am scared that he will take ye from me."

"Ye are?"

"Aye, I am. And, if ye have a child in yer belly, I daenae ken what I would do if he did somethin' to ye. I couldnae bear that."

"So, what do we do? We have to wait until… how long do we wait? If ye are nae goin' to do anythin', how can we ever live our lives together?"

"Let me deal with that," said the Laird. "Cameron and I are goin' to take care of Conall; we just need to make a proper plan first. Once he is taken care of, I'll take care of me duty with ye."