Chapter 4

4

W hen she’d been a girl, perhaps eleven or twelve, Gemma’s mother had told her in quite candid terms how babies came about. At the time, Gemma had been disgusted by the thought. Of course, as she grew older, she began to understand how such a thing could be pleasurable, at least on a theoretical level.

Now as she lay in Colin’s arms on the shore, bosom heaving in the afterglow of their activities, she truly understood why the church had so many teachings about lust and the marital bed. That had felt divine. Colin’s touches were so gentle, and he had kissed places she didn’t even know were possible to kiss. Every square inch of her body felt adored. She’d always pictured her first time in the marriage bed, as was proper, but here on the sand with the waves crashing next to them and the moon shining above them was even better.

“Are ye alright?” Colin asked. He too was a little breathless after such exertions.

“Aye,” she breathed and then turned to kiss him. It was gentle and chaste, the exact opposite of what they had just done.

There wasn’t much to say after that. This had truly been a transformative experience for the both of them. So they lay there in comfortable silence together, curled up as closely as humanly possible.

It was a while before Colin broke the silence.

“Gemma? Can I ask ye somethin’?” He asked, his usually deep voice now sounding quite timid.

“Of course,” she answered, propping herself up on her elbows, sensing that something more serious was about to happen.

He too sat up.

“Gemma…I…I have loved ye for a very long time. An’ I still do. I think, actually, my love for ye grows each passin’ day. I ken this insnae the most romantic setting, but…” he stopped, fumbling around in his sporran to find something. “Will ye marry me?”

Gemma was shocked to see him procure the grass ring she’d weaved for him so long ago. Nostalgia swept over her being, as did such a strong feeling of giddiness. She felt like she could run all the way to Edinburgh and back.

“Aye! Aye, Colin, of course I’ll marry ye,” she cried.

Colin grinned and slipped the grass circle around her finger. As soon as it was on, Gemma leaned forward and kissed him once more, savoring the taste of the sweet wine that still lingered on his tongue.

When they broke apart, she raised her hand in the air, inspecting the ring in the moonlight as if it were made of the finest gold and jewels.

“I cannae believe ye kept it all these years,” she whispered.

“Och, of course. ‘Tis my most prized possession. And now ‘tis ours.”

“Ours,” she repeated. How delightful that sounded.

Colin’s own happiness was a little more restrained than Gemma’s. He had proposed and given her a meaningful ring, but there was still much to think of. Bryce, certainly, would be blindsided. That was going to be a difficult conversation. Then there was the matter of her father. He’d intended to speak to him that day, but Mr. Gordon had left the castle in the wee hours of the morning to board a ship for some business travels.

Even though Gemma had a ring on her finger and had consented to a marriage, until it was witnessed in the church during a ceremony, she was not yet entirely his. If Bryce proved to be a scoundrel, he could still take her from him.

He hoped that Bryce would behave with decency and honor. Just because he was the son of the laird did not mean he was entitled to everything he asked for. Colin had never resented him for that, but lately, he’d begun to think more and more about how Bryce conducted himself around everyone else. Yes, Colin thought of the man like a brother, but brothers could still find fault with each other, could they not?

He sighed deeply as he sharpened his sword on the whetstone, hoping to God that this was the only difficulty he’d ever have to face in marriage.

Gemma was experiencing absolutely none of the anxieties that Colin was. She was so happy that it manifested itself in fidgeting and jitters. Her mother had even scolded her when she bounced her knee too much while mending.

“Och, do ye want yer brothers tae have giant holes in their shirts because ye couldnae sit still?” Mrs. Gordon had asked.

It took all of Gemma’s strength to simmer down. When her mother finally granted her some free time, Gemma nearly flew out of her seat. She wasn’t even really sure where she was going, she just knew she had to move in order to burn some of her excess energy. In all her haste, she bumped into someone in the corridor — none other than her newly betrothed.

“Colin!” She said brightly.

“Milady,” he said with a hint of mischief, but just a hint, for she also detected something else in his tone. Anxiety? Nerves? How could either be possible when they had shared such intimacy only the night before?

“I’ve not yet told my mother,” she informed him. “But I suppose ye’ll be wantin’ tae speak with my father first.”

“Aye,” Colin nodded. “I ken he’s out travelin’ again.”

“A quick journey, I should hope. I mean, I always hope ‘tis a quick journey for his safety, but…seems more important than ever now.”

Colin’s hands were still clasped behind his back, and his broad shoulders seemed a little more rounded than usual. Something was definitely amiss.

“Are ye quite sure everythin’ is fine? You seem a bit tense,” she observed aloud, tired of tiptoeing around him like this.

“Aye. Early mornin’ start in the armory, is all.”

Gemma suspected that wasn’t the entire truth, but she did not press it.

“Dinnae work yerself too hard. I still need my future husband,” she said with a cheeky wink.

She was about to leave when Colin grabbed her wrist, his eyes full of longing.

“I dinnae mean tae be so short wi’ ye taeday. I’m sorry.”

“‘Tis fine, Colin. Ye are a busy an’ much needed man. Just dinnae forget me, is all.”

Colin maneuvered the both of them so they were in the shadows of an alcove in the stone corridor.

“How could I forget someone like ye, lass?” He asked, cupping her face in his hands. Gemma sighed and nuzzled her cheek against the palm of his rough, battle-hewn hand.

When they kissed, it was as light and warm as a summer’s day, just enough to be appropriate.

“Someone will see us,” she whispered as they drew apart.

“I ken, I’m sorry. I cannae resist ye,” he said with a lopsided grin.

“Come find me later,” she requested, her hand lingering on his shoulder as she walked away.

Gemma felt an odd sense of guilt wash over her as she walked away. She did not feel guilty for kissing Colin or even being betrothed to him, but…she still felt that something was amiss, as if there were eyes upon her — unfriendly eyes that were not Colin’s.

Unfortunately, her intuition was right.