Chapter 14

14

A fter admitting to Lady MacNeill that she loved Colin and not Bryce, Gemma could not help but feel guilty. The lady was a kind woman, and she would have made a lovely mother-in-law, but it was not worth the pain of being married to a monster of a man. That’s what Bryce had become — a monster. Being entitled was one thing. Existing as a woman in a man’s world was another. But his cruel words; his claim that she belonged to him…it made her stomach turn. This was not the Bryce with whom she’d grown up and played.

Lady MacNeill had sighed and stood up, saying the two of them ought to go speak to Bryce together. And then it had been a rather quiet walk through the castle, save for the sound of rumbling thunder and the patter of rain. Inside the castle, it was peaceful as the storm raged. But as they neared the great hall, the ladies heard voices and the clang of steel. Upon peering outside, they were shocked to see Colin and Bryce fighting ferociously in the pouring rain.

“Jesus,” the Lady had breathed. “I’ll go fetch the laird; I dinnae think we can stop this.”

But Gemma decided to go ahead anyway, which is how she found herself in the pouring rain, screaming at the two of them to stop.

Both men were soaked to the bone, and their broad chests were heaving with the effort of their fight.

“Gemma, nay, this is not yer fight!” Colin shouted, holding a hand out, urging her to stay back. Yet, she marched right in and stood between them.

“It is my fight! I am part of this, am I not?”

“He will not take the lairdship from me!” Bryce growled.

“No one wants that, Bryce! Ye can be the laird. Rule all ye want. All Colin an’ I want is tae be together.”

“Truly?” He asked.

Gemma nodded and took a step forward.

“Aye. I’m sorry, Bryce. I am. But my heart is with Colin.”

Bryce’s sword clattered on the ground next to him.

“I’m sorry, too,” he admitted, his voice much softer than when she’d first discovered them.

“It will all be well, I promise,” Gemma said in a soothing voice, stepping toward him.

“Gemma…” Colin warned. She looked back with a soft smile to reassure him that it would all be well, but it was not.

In a flash, Bryce grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to him. Suddenly, she felt the cold steel of a knife at her throat. She could not even cry out, shocked as she was, but Colin did. Through the thunder and the rain, she could not hear him.

“Now neither of us will get what we want,” Bryce said to Colin in a menacing tone. Gemma was frozen. Everything slowed down at that moment. It was so still, Gemma was hyperaware of the blood flowing in her veins. It rushed to her ears. She closed her eyes, anticipating what was next, until she heard an older male voice shouting.

“What is the meaning of this? Unhand the lass now!”

Gemma did not think Bryce would do it, but if there was anyone in the world he listened to, it was Laird MacNeill. Surprisingly, he released her with a shove toward Colin.

“Get ye inside. We’ll speak like civilized folk,” the laird ordered.

There was barely any time to speak as the boys picked up their swords. Gemma clung to Colin’s arm like she was a ladybug and he a tree branch. When she looked into his eyes, she saw something in him she’d never seen before; fear .

When they were all inside, the laird bade Colin and Bryce sit in front of him, like they were naughty schoolchildren rather than grown men intent on killing each other. Gemma stood next to her ladyship, watching and listening.

“Why in God’s name were ye fiightin’? And ye—!” he pointed a wizened finger at Bryce, “why were ye threatenin’ yer betrothed with a knife?”

Colin gulped and opened his mouth to speak, but Bryce beat him to it, and although he and Gemma already knew the answer, he was still shocked when he asked the question.

“Is Captain Frazier really my father?”

The brokenness; the sorrow with which he asked made Gemma want to cry. In that moment, she understood what it must feel like, to believe one thing your whole life and have it unraveled in front of you so quickly.

The question seemed to have caught the laird off guard. He blinked in surprise before speaking again.

“Does it matter? Ye are my son—” he said, but Bryce cut him off.

“Are ye my father or not?”

The laird looked at the floor, dismayed. Lady MacNeill stepped up and spoke.

“Does blood matter when it comes to love?”

“It matters tae me,” Bryce said, his voice wavering. He lifted the knife he’d used to threaten Gemma, and positioned it on his chest, above his heart. The room was a frenzy of commotion after that, as voices rang out, urging him not to do it, but a strong, steady hand wrapped around Bryce’s and lifted the knife away.

“Dinnae do this tae yerself, son,” Captain Frazier said. Apparently he’d rushed in while everyone was shouting, and just in time, too. Gemma could not bear to see any blood spilt.

“Father? Yer here?” Colin asked, wide-eyed.

“Aye. I followed ye when ye left. I couldnae lose my son. And Bryce…lad…dinnae do this.”

“Please,” Bryce begged.

The Captain shook his head.

“Nay. If ye must kill, take me. ‘Tis my fault we’re all in this situation.”

For one long, awful moment, Gemma wondered if Bryce was going to stand up and ram the dagger into the Captain’s body. The hard, desperate look in his eye certainly made it seem so. But he dropped the knife. The clatter of the blade against the stone rang out in the great hall.

The fight was finished.

After everything that had happened, Gemma felt like she needed to sleep for a hundred years. It was not her body that was exhausted, but her mind and her spirit. Learning these shocking secrets and the reasons for the Fraziers’ exile, as well as Bryce’s true character, had altered her permanently.

Lady MacNeill had called upon Mrs. Gordon to inform her of what had happened at the castle. Shocked by Bryce’s behavior, Gemma’s mother declared that such a marriage should not take place. Mr. Gordon agreed when he arrived home from Norway. As disappointed as he was with the situation, he understood. What was worse, no one was getting a happy ending. Colin and Captain Frazier would not be jailed or executed, but they would still have to leave the clan. Bryce had disappeared, no doubt embarrassed by his behavior and the circumstances. Even Lady MacNeill was under suspicion. Rumors began to swirl around the village; ugly ones that accused her of far worse than just an affair with the captain of the guard.

Sometimes Gemma’s only escape was a walk near the cliffs. The sound of the waves crashing ashore acted as a cleansing balm for her mind, and today was no different.

Gemma felt the chilly wind whipping around her, tugging at her skirts and tangling her hair. She had followed Colin up to the cliffs overlooking the sea, wanting just a few more moments with him before he left. The laird had given them a week to find other accommodations elsewhere, not knowing where they’d been before. She had already cried enough tears to fill a loch, so when she and Colin walked along the cliffside again, she only felt numb.

Colin stood with his back to the sea, looking out over the rugged landscape with a pensive expression. He seemed lost in thought, and Gemma didn't want to interrupt him. She just stood there beside him, feeling the weight of the moment bearing down on her.

Finally, he turned to her, and his expression softened.

"Gemma," he said, his voice low and gentle. "I cannae take ye with me. Ye ken that, aye?"

Gemma felt her heart sink. She had been hoping that he would change his mind, that he would sweep her up and take her away from all of this. They’d talked about it, after all. But he was stubborn, and did not want to risk her honor and reputation.

"I do," she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I love ye, Gemma," Colin said, his eyes searching hers. "Ye ken that, aye?"

She nodded.

"But I cannae let ye throw yer life away like this," Colin continued, his voice firm. "Ye deserve better than me, Gemma. Ye deserve a man who can give ye a proper life, a man who can keep ye safe and provide for ye. I cannae do that for ye."

Gemma felt a tear roll down her cheek, and she brushed it away impatiently.

"I dinnae want anyone else," she said, her voice trembling. "I want you, Colin. I don't care about safety or provisions or how people talk or anythin’ like that. I just want tae be with ye."

Colin shook his head.

"Ye cannae be with me, Gemma. Not now. Maybe someday, if things change. But not now."

Gemma felt a surge of anger rise up in her. It wasn't fair that they couldn't be together, that they had to be torn apart like this. She wanted to scream and rail against the world, to make someone listen to her and understand how she felt. But she knew that it wouldn't do any good. Again, she was only a woman in a man’s world. They did not care for affairs such as hers so long as they got their share.

"I'll wait for ye," she said, her voice resolute. "As long as it takes, I'll wait for ye, Colin. I willnae marry anyone else. I willnae even look at anyone else. I'll wait for ye."

Colin shook his head again, his expression pained.

"Ye cannae do that, Gemma. Ye have yer whole life ahead of ye. Ye cannae put it on hold for me. Ye have to move on, find someone else who can make ye happy. Yer far too kind, hardworking an’ bonny tae not be swept up by someone else."

"I dinnae want anyone else," Gemma repeated, her voice rising in frustration. "I want you, Colin. I love ye."

“My name is tarnished now. An’ so would yers be, if ye took it.”

“‘Tis not fair!”

Colin rested his forehead against hers. She felt the heat of his body in such close proximity, and for a moment, she remembered what it was like to feel him against her bare skin as they moved together in love in the moonlight.

“I ken. I’m sorry, I am. I’m so, so sorry,” he said, his voice breaking. It was unnerving to see him like this; so fragile and near broken. But this time, she was determined to be the strong one.

“I’ll find ye. I promise, I will.”

“Ye are strong, Gemma. I dinnae doubt ye.”

She rested her head against his shoulder as the sun began to set. It cast a warm, golden light across the surface of the ocean. The water sparkled and glimmered like a thousand diamonds, and the waves gently lapped against the shore. The sky was a palette of vivid oranges, pinks and purples, creating a breathtaking display that seemed almost surreal. Finally, the sun itself was a fiery orb, slowly sinking lower and lower towards the water's edge. Its light grew softer and more diffuse, as if the very act of setting was a gentle, graceful dance.

As the last sliver of the sun finally disappeared beneath the horizon, the sky exploded into a riot of color, the clouds and the water reflecting and amplifying the beauty of the moment.

If this was the last moment she could spend with Colin before he left, she would be grateful indeed.

Gemma had no desire to visit the castle anymore. And now that Colin was leaving and Bryce was nowhere to be found, Mrs. Gordon saw no reason to continue sending her daughter to help with whatever chores were needed. By this time, her name was well-known, and she needed no more visibility. Now, she spent her time at home and did her chores on her own. Sometimes, her mother would notice her sighing, or looking forlornly at the ocean, but she was not near as harsh with her as she used to be.

Today was market day, so Gemma was out of the house. After yesterday’s conversation with Colin, she needed to occupy her mind. Sitting still whilst stitching clothes would mean that her mind could run rampant. She needed some external stimulation, and the market was the place to find it. The sounds of chatter, laughter, and haggling could be heard from miles away. Gemma smelled the aroma of fresh bread, meat pies, and roasted game, as well as fresh cut flowers and ale. To anyone else, it would have been an assault on the olfactory senses, but it was a welcome reprieve to Gemma.

She walked through the marketplace, admiring the craftsmanship of the various textiles, pottery, and all sorts of utensils for homes and gardens. It was all well and good, until she began to feel an eerie sense at the back of her neck, like a spider crawling up it. She tried to ignore it as she walked on, but the feeling only grew, and then out of the corner of her eye, she saw him.

Bryce was standing at a stall of herbs, hooded and cloaked like some dark highwayman with ill intentions. She froze. He’d disappeared right after the incident in the great hall, and no one had seen him for nearly a week. With Colin set to leave today, she wondered if he had business with either of them, but she did not want to consider it. Gemma turned around to leave, and rushed back to the entrance of the market square. But Bryce was faster and taller, and with his longer legs, he caught up to her in no time.

Her heart was racing, fluttering about like a bird in a cage. When he was nearly upon her, she turned around and brandished a knife at him.

“Stay back!” She hissed, fright evident in her voice.

Bryce held his hands up and stepped back a few paces.

“I’ll not approach ye too close. I’m sorry. I dinnae mean tae frighten ye.”

“Then why are ye here, lurkin’ about like some thief in a cloak?”

“I’m sorry. I’ve been…hiding. An’ then I saw ye in the market, an’...I need tae speak wi’ ye.”

“Make it fast. I’m sure ye ken I dinnae trust ye anymore,” she said coldly.

“Aye,” Bryce said, removing his hood now that they were out of earshot and eyesight from the market. “I just wanted tae tell ye…I’m sorry. I dinnae realize that ye an’ Colin had been involved all along. I came here tae tell ye that ye deserve tae be happy. I think…in my own way, I love ye still, but…” he gritted his teeth and shook his head, “I now see that nothin’ would make me happier than tae ken that ye are well, happy an’ peaceful wi’ someone ye love.”

Gemma was flabbergasted by his words. Not six days ago he’d held a knife to her neck and told her she belonged to him. It was odd, to hear him speak like this.

“This better not be some jest,” she said suspiciously, drawing the knife closer to her but still keeping the blade out.

He shook his head.

“‘Tis no jest. I ken ye care about Colin, an’ always have. Ye deserve tae get what ye want.”

She looked into his emerald eyes, so much like Colin’s, but so different at the same time. The color may have been the same, but the emotions were not. Bryce’s now flashed with sorrow and regret. For a moment she felt sorry for him, but he’d done unforgivable things. It would be years before she considered changing her mind about his character.

“Thank ye, Bryce. I wish ye well.”

All he did was nod before he pulled his hood back over his head, and hurried away. Gemma watched his retreating form until it was just a blur on the horizon.

And then it struck her; she did not have to live in misery, pining after Colin, wondering if he would still love her years later. She could go after him, right now. It was the day of their departure, and if she acted quickly enough, she could make it to the castle and stop him.

Gemma's heart was racing as she sprinted away from the market, weaving through the throngs of people as she desperately tried to reach the castle gates before Colin and his father rode out. She had to catch them before it was too late. She had not run like this in years, and it felt as if all the breath were being sucked from her body, and her legs ached and burned.

Finally, she burst through the gates of the castle, breathless and wild-eyed, just in time to see Colin and his father mounting their horses in the courtyard. She shouted his name, and Colin turned to look at her, surprise written all over his face.

“Gemma?” He said, his voice filled with disbelief.

She ran up to him, her heart pounding in her chest, and threw her arms around his neck, not caring if anyone else saw.

“Colin, I cannae let ye go,” she said, her voice hoarse.

He held her tightly, his arms wrapping around her waist as he kissed the top of her head.

“Gemma, you shouldnae be here,” he said, his voice low and urgent. “‘Tis not safe tae be seen wi’ me.”

“He’s right, lassie,” Captain Frazier agreed, looking fondly at the two of them.

“I dinnae care,” she replied, her voice fierce. “I willnae let ye go without me. I'd rather be poor an’ struggle with ye than marry some rich pompous arsehole an’ feel no love for him.”

He pulled back slightly, looking at her with a mixture of awe and concern.

“Gemma, do ye not understand? Laird MacNeill has banished us from the clan. I cannae stay here. I have tae leave.”

“I ken,” she said, her voice softening. “But I cannae bear tae lose ye. Colin, I love ye. I cannae imagine my life without ye.”

He gazed at her for a moment, his eyes searching hers, before finally leaning in to kiss her. His lips were warm and soft against hers, and she felt a rush of emotion wash over her. She knew that this was where she belonged, in his arms, with him by her side.

Finally, they pulled back, and Colin looked at her ruefully.

“Gemma, I cannae stay here. But…mayhap we can be taegether. We’ll go away together, start a new life. I’ve work; I can be a blacksmith. I promise I’ll give ye all I have.”

“Do ye not need tae ask her a question, son?” Captain Frazier asked, beaming despite the unfortunate circumstances of his leaving.

Colin nodded, his smile going from rueful to hopeful.

“Gemma, once an’ for all, will ye be my wife?”

She nodded, tears streaming down her face.

“Aye,” she said, her voice trembling. “I’ll be yer wife. Where ye go I’ll go, an’ where ye stay I’ll stay.”

“And I, too,” he said softly before their lips met in another kiss, light and sweet.

Captain Frazier was smiling, and it lifted up the ends of his reddish-grey beard.

“Come on, ye lovebirds. ‘Tis not long tae the village, but we ought tae put some distance behind us and the castle ‘afore nightfall.”

“We need tae tell my mother an’ father first,” Gemma said, the reality hitting her just then. She could not simply up and leave, not without telling them and packing a few of her things.

Captain Frazier nodded.

“Aye, lass. We’ll ride by their house tae share the good news. I wish it was under better circumstances, but…I am pleased tae welcome ye tae the family,” he said, then kissed Gemma on the top of the head as if she were his own daughter.

Gemma smiled radiantly, resisting the urge to purr like a satisfied cat.

“Ye look very pleased indeed, future Mrs. Frazier,” Colin said as he helped her mount the horse.

“Because I am. I finally have all I want,” she said, her eyes welling up with tears of joy.

It was true. And for the first time in her life, Gemma felt at peace.