Chapter Six

"Pray pardon," Anna said to Tavia, then rushed to the small chamber she shared with her fellow singer. Harriet was staring into the silver mirror and adjusting her headpiece.

"I'll not be able to sing tonight. I feel ill." Anna hated lying but she couldn't tell Harriet or anyone the truth without revealing her predicament. The middle-aged woman didn't know her true identity.

Harriet turned, her eyes wide. "Indeed, lass? What is wrong?"

"I'm coming down with something. I feel nauseous." Pressing a hand against her stomach, she sat upon her small cot. She did indeed feel queasy since seeing the Hamilton chief, so it wasn't a complete lie. He was the only person she'd seen in the last couple of years who knew who she was and where she was from. He could ruin her life.

"I will go fetch the healer," Harriet said.

"I spoke to her already. You must do all the singing tonight."

Harriet paused by the door. "Very well. But the clan will be disappointed. I'm nay as popular as you are."

"Nonsense. They love you."

Harriet laughed. "So you say, but I ken the truth of it. I hope you feel better soon." She opened the door and left.

In order to appear truly sick, Anna disrobed and got into bed wearing her shift. She covered her head. Oh, what a dishonest fraud she was. But she saw no way around it. Chief Hamilton had stayed a week at the MacCromar clan's castle and had seen her at close range several times. He would recognize her without question. He and Blackburn had some sort of alliance.

Saints! How she wished she and the musicians had left days ago, just after the idea had occurred to her the first time. She would have to leave, even if her fellow minstrels didn't. But where would she go? They had arrived by galley from further south. She would have to find out if there were villages or towns nearby where she might find employment as a singer. How she hated the uncertainty her life had become. She no longer had a home.

A soft knock sounded on the door. She uncovered her head. Who could that be?

"Anna?" 'Twas Tavia's voice.

"Aye? Enter."

Tavia stuck her head in. "Mistress Weaver said you are ill."

Blast Harriet! Though Anna was glad she cared. "Indeed. It struck me as we were talking but I didn't wish to bother you with it. Probably just something I ate."

Tavia came into the room, closed the door and advanced toward her, studying her with intelligent green eyes. "How do you feel precisely?"

"Nauseous and dizzy. Earlier I felt chilled and feverish but that has improved a bit." Please, God, forgive me for lying to my friend.

Tavia placed her warm palm against Anna's forehead. "You do appear paler than normal, but not overwarm."

Anna nodded.

"I will make you a tea and return in a few minutes."

"I thank you. You are too kind."

"Nonsense." Tavia left the room.

Anna's mind raced as she tried to think of a solution to her problem. If only Chief Hamilton and his clan would leave soon, all would be back to normal. But they might stay as long as a fortnight. Often clans did when visiting other clans. She couldn't stay in her room that long.

***

Neacal could not believe three chiefs had arrived with their marriageable daughters, and now the elders had arranged for him to meet with all three fathers at once in the library. He would rather be whipped.

"What the devil have you done?" he asked Hugh and Bhatar when he cornered them in the corridor. "Are you trying to start a war?"

"Nay. Time is short," Hugh said. "Winter will be here soon. No time to dally. You have four young ladies to choose from."

"Four?" What the hell was he talking about? Had another clan arrived when he wasn't looking?

"Aye, Chief Hamilton brought both of his daughters who are old enough to marry."

"I don't care if there are a hundred ladies. I'm not marrying before spring. You've wasted these chiefs' time. They've come here at a great expense, all for naught."

Hugh frowned. "You used to like women."

Outrage blasted through him. "I still like women," Neacal growled, wanting to shout but forcing himself to stay quiet because the other chiefs were close by. "But that doesn't mean I want to marry now. Do you not ken these young ladies are terrified of me? They all think me mad."

"'Tis because you act mad," Hugh observed in an I-told-you-so tone.

"But you are not. Are you?" Bhatar smiled.

Ignoring that, Neacal asked, "How many more clans are coming?"

"That is all." Bhatar threw his hands into the air.

Neacal was glad to hear that, at least. "Good. When they rest up from their trip, I can send them on their way again."

"So soon?" Hugh grumbled. "But you have nay even danced with any of the lassies."

"Nor do I plan to," he snapped. "I have no interest in dancing. I need soldiers, not a bride."

"Lad, when are you going to learn? A bride can bring you soldiers." Hugh raised his bushy white brows.

"Aye, a few perhaps. But not a whole garrison."

"You will never know if you don't ask. A couple of the chiefs have hinted at possibly providing soldiers. The Hamilton chief said he might provide three dozen for two years. That would give you time to rebuild the garrison."

Damnation, he hated it when Hugh made a good point. Three dozen soldiers would strengthen their defenses a great deal.

Anna popped into his mind. Even if she hadn't shown up, he wouldn't want to marry some lass he'd only just met. But now that he'd kissed Anna, and couldn't get her out of his head, day or night, he truly didn't want to marry some stranger.

"You ken I'm right, lad," Hugh said. "'Tis why we've arranged this meeting. Find out which chief is able to offer you the most paid soldiers for the longest time. You may be able to negotiate even more than the amount Hamilton mentioned."

Although he'd sent for Colin, he likely could not provide such a large number of soldiers for any length of time. And when would Colin arrive anyway? What was he doing, scouring the countryside for mercenaries in need of work?

"Chief?" Hugh said. "Now is not the time to be wool-gathering. The clan's future is at stake."

Neacal blew out an annoyed breath. He hated the idea of marriage as a business arrangement. His own parents had loved one another and the match had been a good one. What if he and his future bride could not stand each other? A miserable life for both of them. Was the sacrifice worth it if the clan grew stronger?

"You don't have to decide now. Simply discuss it with them. What do you have to lose?" his great uncle asked.

"Very well. I'll meet with them. That is all."

When he entered the library, he tried to blank his expression. He didn't want the other chiefs to know how much he hated the position he was in.

"I want to thank all of you for being here. I'll be blunt and to the point. The elders are the ones who sent for you. I didn't. I need soldiers, more so than a bride. I won't be making a decision today. But I need to know if any of you would be able to provide manpower to strengthen my garrison."

"Aye, of course," Chief Hamilton said. "Two dozen soldiers if you marry either of my daughters. Both are beauties."

Neacal frowned. Hadn't Hugh just told him three dozen soldiers? So, he wanted to negotiate, did he? Neacal raised a brow. "That's it?" He glanced at the other chiefs.

"Three dozen," Chief MacGill said, smoothing his bushy red beard. "I'll pay their wages for two years."

That sounded better.

"That is, if you marry my daughter, and of course treat her well," he amended.

Neacal couldn't even remember which lady was his daughter. Oh aye, now he remembered; 'twas the ginger-haired lass. Not that any of the new arrivals could draw his attention the way Anna did. Her image sprang into his mind… and that kiss. Saints, he needed another so badly he ached.

Damnation! He had to push beyond his obsession with her.

"Three and a half dozen!" Chief MacRury shouted. "And their wages paid for three years."

Neacal sat back, frowning. How the devil could he refuse this offer? He was going to have to marry a lass he didn't even know in order to strengthen the clan's defenses. Outrage twisted through him. He'd known being chief would require sacrifices, and he'd been prepared to make them… before he'd met Anna. She couldn't be his mistress. He wouldn't ask her to. She deserved so much more. Besides, once he married, he intended to be faithful to his wife, so… he would have no mistress anyway.

"Four dozen, paid for three years," Hamilton growled. "And that's my final offer!" He pounded a fist against the table.

Neacal clenched his fists, yearning to hit something, too. How could the man be so generous? Hundreds of thoughts and scenarios crowded into his head, swirling and turning to chaos. Aye, he wanted to do what was best for the clan. 'Twas what he'd pledged to do and what his father would expect of him. But he couldn't imagine a life where he would never hear Anna sing again. Never see her lovely face. If he married one of the lasses, he would have to send her away.

He shoved his chair back from the table. "I thank you for your generous offers. I'll think on it." He strode into the corridor. Aye, bringing four dozen soldiers to his clan would be remarkable, but he couldn't so readily agree to marry the man's daughter.

The thought of never kissing Anna's intoxicating lips again… of never touching her….

He punched the solid oak of his bedchamber door, went inside and then slammed it. He growled a string of curses. How could he have gotten himself into such a horrible position? In order to protect the clan, he was obligated to be miserable for the rest of his life. He knew without Anna, he would indeed feel wretched.

***

After Tavia brought the herbal tea blend to her room, Anna drank it and grew sleepy. Her chest ached with guilt for being deceptive to those she cared about most. Her amazing friends. She covered her head, wishing to hide from the world.

The next thing she knew, someone shook her awake. "Are you well?"

"What?" Anna opened her eyes to find Harriet above her, drawing the coverlet off her head.

"You were sleeping for so long, and so soundly I grew worried."

"Oh. What time is it?"

"'Tis morn and almost time to break our fast."

"Heavens! I didn't realize I'd slept so long." She turned over, remembering her lie and how she had to pretend to be sick. "'Twas Tavia's medicine."

"Are you feeling better?"

Anna frowned and rubbed her stomach. "I'm not certain."

"In that case, I will find the healer once again."

"Nay. She is likely busy."

"Not too busy for you. Besides, you must eat. Shall I bring you something?"

"Nay, I thank you." Even though she was hungry, she couldn't admit this and risk everyone knowing what a fraud she was. She had to figure out a solution to her problems, but her mind was so foggy she couldn't think clearly. What had Tavia given her?

"Well, you must get well soon. Everyone asked where you were last night," Harriet said.

"Indeed? What did you tell them?"

"That you were sick. They sent their well wishes."

"Oh." Anna hadn't considered that several people would ask about her.

A knock sounded at the door and Tavia strode in with a breakfast tray. "And how are you feeling this morn?"

"The same," Anna blurted, reasoning it wasn't a lie for she did feel the same as last night.

Tavia frowned. "No better?"

Anna shrugged.

"Do you feel nauseous?"

Anna nodded, feeling halfway sick simply because she had to lie to her friend. She truly hated being dishonest.

"Can you try to eat some?"

"Aye."

Harriet left the two alone and closed the door on her way out, while Tavia placed the bed tray over Anna's lap. When she sat up, Tavia adjusted the pillows behind her.

Anna took a bite of the watery porridge. Although 'twas bland, she savored the nourishment. She had missed supper the night before. Since she could not appear too eager to consume it, she ate very slowly. The problem of Chief Hamilton battered her with anxiety. She wondered if she could surreptitiously find out information about villages in the surrounding area where she might escape.

"Are you the healer for the village, too?" Anna asked.

"Aye, when they need me, but they have their own midwife."

"I imagine 'tis a problem to have to travel there."

"Nay, Bearach village is less than a mile away. Acharacle is another one I go to on occasion. 'Tis three or four miles away."

Aha. Just what Anna needed to know. "Are there many villages in the surrounding area?"

"Not many. Glenfinnan is several miles away. We generally travel there by galley for 'tis at the other end of Loch Shiel."

A sharp knock sounded at the door.

Anna jumped, dropping her spoon onto the tray with a clatter. "Who could that be?"

Tavia shook her head, then hastened to open the door. "M'laird?"

"How is she?" he demanded, his voice rough.

Anna froze. Heavens! Neacal had come to see her?

"She is breaking her fast." Tavia pulled the door open wide, allowing him entrance.

Anna's hands flew up to her disheveled hair. She must look a fright. Her eyes felt swollen from sleeping so hard.

"You're feeling better then, Mistress Douglas?" he asked, his sharp blue gaze moving over her face, no doubt noticing every horrid detail.

She lowered her face, staring into the porridge. "Aye."

"I'm glad. You had all of us worried."

"'Twas simply something I ate," she blurted, hoping he would leave and give her time to wash her face, dress and brush her hair. How mortifying that such a handsome man would see her at her untidy worst. "I'm well now."

"Good. I'll be seeing you later, then." He bowed and left.

Tavia closed the door and returned to the bed, a smug smile on her face as she studied Anna.

"What?" Saints, how Anna's face burned. She hated blushing!

"He visits no one else in the castle who is sick."

"Are there a lot of sick people here?"

Tavia gave a wry grin. "You ken what I mean, lass. The laird is mighty concerned over your health. More so than anyone else's."

"Well… he's a gentleman."

Tavia raised a brow. "Indeed. And he certainly caused the pink to return to your cheeks."

Anna lifted her hands to cover her scorching cheeks. "Argh. I must look dreadful this morn. How embarrassing for him to see me in such a mess."

Tavia chuckled.

Anna saw no humor in it. She was in a fix now. She could no longer use the excuse of illness to avoid the great hall. If she did, Neacal would be in here to check on her every quarter hour. Besides, she could not lie to him. With his astute eye, he would see right through her. She didn't want to take him from his important visitors. Well, she did actually… but she couldn't be so selfish. He wasn't hers. He might very well have already found a bride.

"Do you think he will wed any of the young ladies?" Anna asked.

"Nay." Tavia sat down on the wooden stool by the bed.

"You answered that quickly."

She shrugged. "I know him."

"What about the newest arrivals? The Hamiltons. One of them might catch his fancy."

Tavia shook her head. "He paid the lasses no mind. When you didn't show up to sing last night, he asked me where you were. I told him you were not feeling well. The only way I could keep him from coming up here was to tell him you were asleep. Then he made me promise to check on you every two hours and let him know if you became worse. So I did."

"Good heavens," Anna whispered, feeling even more horrible for her deception. "I'm sorry I put you to so much trouble. You got no sleep last night."

"I got plenty. Do not fash yourself. Now you're better, thanks be to God. Everyone will look forward to hearing you sing this night," Tavia said. "And I'm certain you'll be glad to get back to singing. You seem to enjoy it so much."

Anna nodded and forced herself to take another bite of porridge. Her stomach knotting more with each moment that passed, she put down the spoon. She knew not what to do, but she had to make a decision soon. She felt panicked and the walls of the small room closed in upon her. She could never allow the bastard Blackburn to find her. Because of his fury at her for evading him all this time, he might kill her… but he would rape, beat, and torture her first. What life she had left, she had to live on her own.

She had to leave here.

Although she treasured Neacal and his concern for her, she felt trapped of a sudden. She couldn't get out of singing this night. Then, as soon as Chief Hamilton saw her, he would recognize her. When word got back to Blackburn, he would show up here.

***

By suppertime, Anna had secretly collected enough food for a few days' travel. She stuffed two apples, hard yellow cheese, bread, and leftover bannocks into her sack. She had very few belongings—a few clothes, a comb, a flute, and five silver coins saved from her earnings. She would have to leave her violin behind. Eli and the others would take care of it for her. Still, 'twas difficult to pack and ready herself for travel without Harriet, Tavia or anyone else knowing of it.

Tears burned her eyes at the realization she would have to depart without saying goodbye to Neacal. Or Tavia.

She also hated to leave her musician friends, but it would be too difficult for all of them to slip out together. Besides, they liked it here and didn't want to leave. Eli was not able to travel much on foot, anyway. In a few weeks, she would return, look out from the hill and see if Chief Hamilton's galleys were gone. If they were, she would come back inside.

That's what she told herself anyway, to make her departure easier, and she prayed it would be true. She didn't want to leave. She loved it here at Bearach, for the food was good and the company was better, but she couldn't risk discovery. Even if she had to hide out in a cave for a month, she would prefer it to being captured by Blackburn.

She couldn't ask for Neacal's help. He would want to know the whole story and she was unprepared to tell him she might be wed, though illegally. Besides, she wouldn't drag him into her battle. He'd suffered enough from his own.

While Neacal was busy with his guests in the great hall, Anna descended the servants' stairs and lurked about the kitchen doorway. The room was chaos. Mistress Pottenger shouted to the various servants, who rushed around. Anna slipped along the edge of the room. Thankfully, she had already eaten her supper early, in the kitchen, so she would be ready to sing as the clan was finishing their meals in the great hall. Of course, she was not actually going to sing, but she acted as natural as possible while doing her usual routine.

After noticing a large meat carving knife lying on a table, she surveyed everyone around. Seeing no one watching, she slipped the knife off the table and into her pack. She might need it to defend herself. Her wee dirk was again sheathed on her calf, but she might have need of a larger one. As she'd seen when she'd stabbed Farquar, the small knife had only made him angrier. 'Twould be difficult to kill a large man with a tiny dagger. The aim would have to be perfect. With a larger knife, she could do more damage. And she fully intended to protect herself on this journey.

Anna crept out the kitchen door into the vegetable garden, then proceeded around the side of the castle. The bailey was near empty with everyone inside for the meal.

She had been paying attention to the weather all day and thankfully no rain fell. Only a few white clouds, resembling clumps of wool, floated through the sky as the sun descended in the lavender-blue sky.

At the portcullis, she told the guards she was going to Bearach village nearby.

Dressed as a servant, with her oldest black cloak covering her arisaid , along with the cowl over her head, Anna passed through the gates without a question from the guards.

She could not hide in Bearach Village. 'Twas too small and close to the castle. Surely she would have time to reach Acharacle before nightfall. According to Tavia 'twas three or four miles away. She would ask for directions in the village.

If possible, Anna would stay in Acharacle for a few weeks, or 'haps travel by galley to Glenfinnan, and then return to Bearach later. By then, the Hamilton clan should've taken their leave, especially if Neacal refused to marry any of the young ladies, as Tavia had predicted.

But what if he didn't refuse? What if he found one of them attractive and was married by the time Anna returned? Her heart sank. But it couldn't matter to her. Neacal was far beyond her reach.

When she saw a scruffy man outside the tavern in the village, she paused. "Can you tell me how to get to Acharacle?"

"Aye, 'tis to the south." He pointed. "Just follow the trail about three miles. Turn right at the fork and cross the bridge."

"I thank you." She easily found the well-worn trail not far from the cliffs and walked as briskly as possible and sometimes trotted, but could she reach the village before dark?

***

Where the devil was Anna? Neacal's gaze searched the great hall as the rest of the musicians played the third song of the night. Anna should've been here by now. That morn, she'd seemed fine, recovered from whatever illness she'd had. But he had not seen her since then.

After excusing himself from his guests who sat with him at the high table, he arose from his chair and went in search of either Anna or Tavia. Dunn followed closely on his heels. Anna's room was empty and so was Tavia's.

Where could they be? Had Anna gotten worse? A prickle of unease crawled up his spine, telling him something was amiss.

In the servants' corridor, he saw no one. He entered the kitchen where several sat around a table eating. Eyes wide, they all shot to their feet when he entered, then bobbed curtsies.

"Where is Tavia?" he asked.

"Seeing to wee George, the son of one the clansmen. He has a fever," one of the maids named Ivy answered.

"Has anyone seen Mistress Douglas?"

"I saw her pass through the kitchen earlier," another maid said.

"Did she go outside?"

"Aye, but I don't know if she came back in."

Damnation. She was going to get herself into trouble again. After thanking them, he exited the kitchen and proceeded to the shed behind the stables, but 'twas empty.

"Where is she, Dunn?"

The dog sniffed the ground, then perked his ears and glanced around. Obviously, she was not here.

In quick strides, Neacal crossed the bailey and when he reached the guard tower, he went inside where two guards were stationed. "Did a woman leave within the last hour or two?" he asked the one everyone called Badger, because of his bushy black and white beard.

"Aye, chief, several women did. Servants who live in the village."

"Was one of them Mistress Douglas?" Neacal could not believe how tense his shoulders were. They were starting to ache from his old injuries combined with his unease over finding Anna before she got into another scrape.

"Who? Oh, the lass what sings so pretty?"

"Aye."

Badger shook his head. "I don't reckon. She's so bonny I would've noticed."

"Wait… there was one," Miller, the younger guard, said. "I didn't see her face. You were gone to relieve yourself," he said to Badger.

"What did you see?" Neacal asked, his heart rate accelerating.

"She wore an old, tattered cloak, had her head covered and was bent like an old crone. She carried a sack over her shoulder."

"Damnation. I wager that was her." Why was Anna being so deceptive and sneaking around?

"What should we do? Send out the garrison," Badger asked.

"Nay. That would frighten her. How long ago did you see her?"

"About an hour ago," Miller said. "She said she was going to the village."

Neacal nodded. "I'll take Dunn and he'll find her in a trice. Don't tell anyone I've gone."

Badger frowned. "What about your bodyguards?"

"I'll let you in on a secret—I need no bodyguards. 'Tis likely, if we ran into conflict, I would have to protect them."

The two laughed. 'Haps he was insulting his bodyguards, but 'twas the price he had to pay for alleviating these two guards' concern for his safety. Besides, Neacal was a more highly skilled soldier than any of his men, bodyguards or otherwise.

"Though I doubt I'll need them, could you bring me a bow and two dozen arrows from the armory?" Neacal already wore his sword, dirk and three sgian dubh knives. While Miller retrieved the weapons, Neacal had the stable lad to saddle his black horse, Swain. Once that was completed, he mounted.

"Come, Dunn."

"Will you be back before dark?" Miller asked, handing him the bow and quiver full of arrows.

"Aye, if I find her in the village." Neacal hoped he could as he rode through the gates. But more, he hoped he found Anna before she ran into highwaymen or outlaws. Why on earth would she leave the castle walls close to dark, or anytime for that matter? He couldn't understand her. Obviously, she had far more secrets than he'd imagined.

Leaving the portcullis behind, he urged the horse into a gallop. He doubted Anna was running. He would catch up with her in no time. If she was in Bearach Village, finding her should be easy.

He slowed as he approached the community, then asked four different villagers if they'd seen a blond woman in a tattered cloak. Within minutes, he learned she was headed south toward Acharacle. Why the devil would she go there? He doubted she knew anyone in the area. Was she running from something or someone?

Once they left Bearach Village, Swain galloped along the narrow trail. Although Neacal was eager to find Anna posthaste, the wind in his hair gave him a sense of heightened exhilaration for a moment. He'd been cooped up too long behind the castle's walls. Was Anna the same way? Did she have wanderlust in her veins?

The brilliant colors of sunset reflected in the rushing waters of the River Shiel as he galloped along the trail beside it and through the narrow wood by the cliffs. He must hurry, for night would be upon them soon. Once he'd left the trees behind, Clachan nan Sìtheach came into view upon the heathery hillside. His clan had many legends about this standing stone circle.

Dunn barked and veered off the trail.

Neacal slowed the horse, then stopped, watching the dog snuffling at the ground. Fortunately, Dunn had an amazing nose and could sniff out anything long before he encountered it.

"What is it, lad?" Had he found Anna? Or was it an outlaw?