Chapter 22

22

E wan stormed into his study and slammed the door behind him. He ran his fingers through his hair as he paced the length of the room. With his emotions running amok, he didn't know what to do or say. Her family's arrival was beyond disruptive—it was malicious .

"Go away," he snapped as someone knocked on the door.

"Ewan," Logan's muffled voice came through the door.

"What do ye want?" Ewan growled as the door creaked open.

Logan stepped into the room and looked about, curious as to where the danger was.

"Someone is in a cheerful mood," he said as he made his way over to Ewan.

"I'm in nay mood for yer teasin' right now. Be swift about it," Ewan said as he swiped his hand across his upper lip.

"I've disposed of Alistair," Logan reported as he lowered his head.

"And where did ye put him?"

"Well, I couldnae brin' meself to toss him in the sea—although he does deserve that," Logan said, a hint of remorse lacing his tone. "But I took him back to his clan. I told them I found him like this. They didnae seem to think much of it. In fact, his wife looked rather relieved to see him gone. I sure would hate for me wife to have that sort of look on her face when I'm gone. I'd like to think she loved me, ye ken?"

"Aye," Ewan answered as his mind reeled and tossed about the concept of a world without Bridget. He couldn't contemplate it. She had become such a huge part of his life that having her gone even for a day broke his heart.

The pain rippled through him like water rushing through a parched valley. Sure, it was refreshing, but it was violent and all-consuming.

"Speakin' of which, has the Viscount shown up yet? I heard rumors he was comin' to the castle today. Did ye want me to send him on a goose chase? Because I will—ye ken I will."

"It's too late for that," Ewan said as he moved to his desk and sat down. "Bridget's family is already here."

"What?" Logan glanced over his shoulder, as if expecting to see Bridget's family standing behind him. "When did they arrive?"

"Shortly after ye left," Ewan answered. "But I have a confession to make."

"Ye dinnae want the lass to go, do ye?" Logan asked as he moved to the chair and sat down.

"Is it wrong of me to not want such a thing?"

"Dear God, people, stand aside, me braither is human. Wit' real human feelings to boot. How about that? All this time, I thought ye'd never learn empathy, and here ye are. What did ye do? Bed the lass? Tell me ye bedded her."

"Ye'll hold yer tongue if ye dinnae want to lose it," Ewan warned as he drew his dirk so fast that it made his brother jump back in shock. "I'll nae have ye speakin' ill of her."

"Ye ken ye cannae keep her—the lass is betrothed to another. But who am I to stop ye if ye want to ruin her? I say go at it as many times as ye want, but dinnae keep her."

"I ken," Ewan said as he leaned back. "But I'll have her until the snow melts and they leave for England."

"Well, at least one good thin' came out of all this," Logan said. "Ye could take Laird Alistair's land if ye want. Ye ken those people will be needin' a new leader. They'll go wild over there if someone isnae lookin' out for them."

"One thin' at a time. I'll tend to their problems once I've sorted me own," Ewan answered as Logan nodded.

"I must say, Faither would have been proud of ye, what with the way ye handled Alistair," Logan said, making his way to the door.

"Dinnae say that— never say that," Ewan snapped. "I'm nothin' like the man."

"True, but ye didnae hesitate to do what ye had to do when the time called for it," Logan said.

"Takin' a life is nay easy matter."

"Then why did ye do it?" Logan asked. "Was it because he told Bridget's family where to find her? And ye thought ye could keep her indefinitely? Is that it?"

"Nay," Ewan answered. "That wasnae me motive, and I have nay reason to keep her here, yet…"

"Ye want to. I ken. It's like that first moment ye wake up next to a bonnie lass. Ye think for just a moment how wonderful it feels to have someone so vulnerable and trustin' in yer bed, and ye think maybe ye can keep her. But ye cannae. Somethin' always happens to mess it all up. My advice to ye is to enjoy the lass while she's here and hand her back to her family when the time comes for them to leave. Ye'll have taken what ye want from her, and that feelin' brewin' inside ye will subside."

"Bridget is nay common whore, and ye're walkin' a thin line by insultin' her. I'd tread lightly if I were ye."

Logan shook his head as a knowing smile touched his lips. "Ye're in love wit' the lass, and ye dinnae even ken it. Best thin' ye can do is give her back to her family and forget her. The clan is stronger when ye're strong. Ever since that lass stepped foot on the island, ye've been all sorts of discombobulated."

Ewan glared at Logan, and as much as he wanted to argue, he couldn't deny that his brother was right. Somewhere between finding Bridget in the woods to tasting her nectar, she had gotten into the essence of his being. Defeated, Ewan resigned himself to the heartache that would come in the wake of her departure.

Staring out the window, Ewan watched the snowflakes falling from the darkening sky. He couldn't help but pray for heavy snow. The thicker it was, the longer Bridget would stay, and the more time he'd have to brace himself for the sting of abandonment and rejection.

Afternoon turned into evening and evening into night as his thoughts tormented him. He couldn't bring himself to spend any time with Bridget. She was leaving, and it would be easier to let her go if he didn't have any more memories of her. But no matter how hard Ewan tried to keep his distance, he found himself gravitating to her like she was the center of the universe.

As he peered around the door frame, he spotted Bridget sitting with his cousin. He'd grown fond of seeing the two of them together, but their conversation burned his ears and fractured the wall around his heart.

"I don't want to go," Ewan heard Bridget confess.

"But yer family came all this way. Surely they care for ye and want the best for ye?" Ava asked as Ewan dared to inch closer to get a better view.

"My family cares about nothing other than their reputation and wealth. They don't care about what I want, or who I want," Bridget said, her voice cracking with a sadness that pulled on Ewan's heartstrings.

He wanted to step out from his place of hiding, scoop her up into his arms, and whisk her away. Doubt and guilt stopped him before he even dared to move. She deserved someone better. Someone who could give her the life she wanted. A man to nurture her adventurous side and protect her innocence at all costs.

"And who do ye want? Ewan, perhaps?" Ava asked.

Ewan held his breath as he waited for Bridget's answer, as if his whole world teetered on what she had to say. Bridget lowered her head. The anticipation was driving him mad. It took every ounce of his self-control not to charge in there demand her response.

"Even if I did, it wouldn't matter. He's made it clear what he thinks of me."

"Is that so? And just what did me cousin tell ye? I'll refuse to set his bones proper if I find out he's wronged ye," Ava said, eliciting a smile from Ewan.

"Nothing has happened," Bridget said, a tinge of worry in her voice. "But of course, I shouldn't have expected anything to occur."

"Ye're tellin' me that Ewan never touched ye the night he took ye to his room?"

The flush on Bridget's cheeks made his heart flutter and his loins stir.

"Nothing happened. I was hoping something would. I thought if Ewan ruined me, my family would reject me, and I'd go on living my life somewhere far away from them. I didn't expect them to want me to come back. They've never wanted me before."

Ewan ducked swiftly behind the door the moment he noticed Bridget's eyes wandering over to him. The last thing he wanted was to have to explain what he was doing there, but more so why he was ignoring her. Before he could get caught, he backed away from the door and swiftly made his way down the hall.

"Laird MacCartney, I didn't see you there," Paul said, clumsily bumping into him. He stumbled backward, while Ewan didn't even budge an inch. "My, you are a brute, aren't you?"

"Are ye insultin' me? In me own home? Surely ye mean nay disrespect by yer words," Ewan said, his tone laced with malice and venom. "Or yer actions. And seein' that ye're Bridget's betrothed, I'll let ye walk out of here wit' yer dignity intact."

"Sir," Paul said, his voice trembling. Ewan had heard fear often enough to delight in the sound of his quivering speech. But listening to Paul's nasal voice only vexed him more. "I meant no disrespect. In fact, I was merely stating the obvious. I'd be a fool to compete with you hand to hand when you clearly outsize me."

"In every way," Ewan said, leaning as close to Paul as he dared.

The Viscount's fear turned into terror in an instant. Ewan glanced down to find a wet stain spreading down Paul's leg.

"No doubt there, I assure you, Sir," Paul said as he stepped back, the color draining from his face.

How Ewan wished Bridget was there to witness Paul's humiliation, but it was certainly a moment he wouldn't forget.

"I believe I need to clean up."

"Aye, ye do that," Ewan said as he watched Paul hurry down the hallway, trying to be as discreet as possible. "Coward," he muttered under his breath as he turned and started for the stables.

With everything completely changing in front of him, Ewan had to get away.

The chill in the air slapped him awake. It was just the jolt he needed to clear the cobwebs from his brain. Disappointment filled him as he studied the sky. The snow he was so certain would keep Bridget in his castle for a few more days wasn't even sticking to the ground. He rubbed the back of his neck as his frustration grew.

"Me Laird, I have yer horse saddled," the stable boy said, jumping down from his post to greet Ewan.

"At least one thin' still makes sense," Ewan said, motioning for the boy to bring him the horse.

Climbing into the saddle, Ewan waited for the tension to leave his muscles or a pang of pleasure, but there was nothing. No jolt of excitement, no lust for life and adventure. Instead, there was an uncertainty that hung over his head like a cloud.

I cannae let her leave. But how can I make her stay? And would she even want to stay if she could?