Chapter 9

Sloane

I can't go back to our room because I can't cry in front of my grandmother when I've already worked so hard to assure her everything's fine. Of course, nothing's fine. Numbness washes over me as the elevator spills me out into the lobby when I suddenly remember Gran's pastries.

Wandering down sidewalks, I stumble blindly to our old neighborhood, trying not to let the tears fall. I can't cry over Easton, I can't. My heart isn't breaking; I'm just confused. If only my body wasn't still craving his touch, but he's awakened something in me I'm not sure I can resist for long.

I don't understand his sudden rejection, but what hurts almost worse than that is his continued pity. Offering me a job in Paris? Why does he feel so responsible for me? Am I truly that pathetic? I have pride, and I'll fix things without accepting his charity.

At the bakery, it's nice not to have to scrimp for once. Instead of being a miser and only getting one of Gran's favorite chocolate croissants for each of us, I order a half dozen. I also order two of the fancy sandwiches that were always out of our reach. On the way home, I pick up some fresh fruit and giant coffees topped with whipped cream and caramel.

Going through the hotel lobby, I wonder if Easton is still up in his suite. It kills me to think he might be so close, and I almost hit the button for his floor instead of mine. But I'm loaded down with food, and poor Gran has already been waiting for so long. I laugh at myself, thinking he's actually waiting around for me, and press the button for my floor.

"Goodness, what's all this?" Gran says, getting up from her bed where she'd dozed off.

I set up the feast on the tiny round table by the window and we dig into the extravagant meal. I'm ravenous and wolf down three of the croissants one after the other, making Gran shake her head at me.

"You'll be racking up the medical bills next," she teases.

"We can afford it," I say, stuffing in the last bite of my turkey and bacon sandwich.

We both share a laugh and I realize I'm exhausted now that my stomach is full. If only my heart didn't feel so empty. Gran gets under her covers with a book, the soft glow of her reading lamp not disturbing me at all. Since I didn't get much sleep during my fantastic night with Easton, I can barely keep my eyes open long enough to slide into my bed and snuggle down under the covers.

"I'll start looking for a new apartment for us first thing tomorrow," I say, but I'm asleep before I hear Gran's answer.

The next morning, I push all my confused feelings to the background and tell Gran we can order breakfast in our room. As we eat, I look through apartment listings online and then turn to job listings, determined to get a fresh start for both of us as quickly as possible.

Even though we could live off the auction money for years, I want to put it behind me. I enjoy working, and need to be distracted from my heart being torn to shreds by the whole sordid experience.

I can't say I wish it had never happened. We needed that money. But I almost wish it hadn't been Easton, even though he made it so wonderful. That was the problem. He's the perfect man, and now he can never be mine. Just a memory that I hope won't hurt so much someday. It's impossible not to love him. Despite my best efforts, I can't seem to suppress the surge of emotions every time I think of him. It might end up killing me, but I love him.

When I go down the elevator on my quest for a new place to live, my finger hovers over the button that would lead to his suite. Stupid wishful thinking, and it doesn't help me get over the fantasies that plagued my dreams and had me waking up with a pain in my chest.

Easton could never love me. He was just infatuated with a very expensive new toy. He's certainly not still waiting in that suite despite what he said.

Fortunately, after just two days, I have a new apartment lined up for us that will be ready to move into at the beginning of the month. Gran is thrilled because she's already growing bored with room service and takeout and wants to get back to cooking our meals. She loves the new place as much as I do. It has two airy bedrooms, pleasant city views out the living room window, and a big tub in the bathroom. It's a huge upgrade since our old place only had a tiny, leaky shower stall.

The new place is comfortable and miles better than what we had, but not extravagant by any means. I want my auction earnings to last a good long time, especially since I've had no luck on the job front.

Sighing, I leave from another interview I don't feel that confident about, but keep up my forced cheer as I thank everyone in the office for their time. I have a feeling my misery might be leaking out and no one wants to work with a sad sack. If only my heart would snap back to normal, but it's just as torn up and broken as when I turned my back on Easton and ran away. Why did I do that again? Oh yeah, my pride. Well, my pride isn't doing anything but making me miserable.

Since I'm close to my favorite lunch spot, I decide to grab a couple of their specials to take back to Gran. It's not because I'm hoping to see Easton outside his building, or even just sense his presence.

Or maybe it is, because as I pass by, I peer into the lobby, feeling foolish as I search for a glimpse of his tall frame in one of his tailored suits. He rarely leaves his office during the day, and gets his lunches brought up to him by his assistant. My heart is making me act like a damn fool, and I quit lurking and hurry to the diner.

As I round the corner, I see Kate sitting at a table out front with a cup of coffee in front of her. Anger grips me, but it soon drains away. As low down as she was in lying about Easton being at the auction, I'd be homeless right now if it wasn't for her suggestion. I still don't want to talk to her though and am about to do a quick about face when she looks up and sees me.

Great, too late. I try to pretend I don't notice her but she waves and calls me over. Ignoring her is an option, but then she'll know she got to me. I trudge over and say hello, forcing a smile that anyone who really knew me could tell was fake.

"Oh my God, Sloane, where have you been?"

Is she kidding? Then again, I never actually told her I was going through with the auction. I just assumed she'd put two and two together. Before I can answer, she pulls me down into the chair across from her.

"Can you believe Easton is missing?" she asks breathlessly.

I hate that she still calls him by his first name. Even knowing he'd never asked her to. Then her words register.

"What?" I ask. Her voice gets excited as she yammers on about him not showing up to work and no one being able to get in touch with him. Distress is probably evident in my features, but she continues.

Sure enough, no one has seen him since Saturday when he left the office. He'd missed several meetings and wasn't answering his phone. My shredded heart jumps into my throat. Is something wrong?

Surely he couldn't still be in the hotel suite?

I get up, ignoring Kate when she asks where I'm going. Forgetting all about lunch, I race back to the hotel. All I can think about is making sure Easton is all right.