Chapter 9

Faye

After I stop crying long enough to see my computer screen, I realize my heart hurts so much that I can't even concentrate on planning my trip. I am second guessing my decisions, and I am not that kind of person. ‘Boldly Go' has always been my motto, but now I feel stuck. Everything with Grady has made me doubt myself.

I really do need to find a distraction. Right now. I am so far ahead in my schoolwork that missing a week won't make a difference in the semester. I need time to think, away from any possibility of running into Grady.

The only problem with the places I have pulled up on my screen is that I haven't gotten my passport back yet. I didn't think I would be able to travel so soon. It might be another month before I see my new one, according to the application website.

"That's okay," I say firmly. "There's plenty of amazing places here in America."

In fact, one of the top places on my travel bucket list doesn't require a passport at all. I hurry to book my ticket to Puerto Rico, feeling the first stirrings of life when I'm able to get a flight out first thing in the morning. Next, I splurge on the most fabulous, all-inclusive resort on the bay that I can find.

By the time I have everything booked and paid for, it takes the rest of the night to pack, and by the time the sun begins to shine through my window, it's time to leave for the airport. Dragging my rolling suitcase behind me, I have to double back because I forgot to tell Jen I was leaving. She was out last night and I didn't want to bother her with my sob story. I knock on her door, glad to realize she's already awake.

"What's up," Jen asks, looking up from her laptop in bed.

"I need to get away, I booked a trip to Puerto Rico last night. I need to see something new, clear my head, and experience the world. I'm leaving for the airport right now," I tell her.

Jen stares at me for a second before jumping up and hugging me. "That's great! You need to start doing stuff for you rather than worrying about everything and everyone else. By the time you get back, you'll feel better and I'll have a new apartment for us," she flips her computer around to show me the apartment she found. "It's the least I could do to take some stress off you right now," she adds. I try not to start crying – again – and thank her for finding a place when she knew I couldn't focus.

With another hug, I tell her I love her and I'll see her when I get back. I tell her I am thinking of turning my phone off for the trip so she shouldn't worry if I'm less responsive than normal.

After sprinting out the door, I manage to make it to the airport just in time to get through security before boarding. I can't believe I'm really doing this.

I manage to catch up on some sleep on the plane, and excitement at seeing all the new sights pushes aside my heartache enough that I think I might be well on my way to healing. The taxi driver is friendly and chatty, telling me about a dozen different places I should see during my visit.

The air is hot and much balmier than what I'm used to and I'm glad I packed light sundresses and sandals. The room is even nicer than it looked on the resort's website, with a fully stocked bar and a welcome fruit basket on the table. Outside on the balcony there's a sweeping view of the vast bay where I hope to see the tiny organisms that cause the water to light up like magic after night falls.

This should be perfect, but I can't seem to make myself enjoy the moment. I need to get outside and start enjoying all this resort has to offer. I force myself to leave the room, searching for the same excitement I felt when the plane landed. The pool area is almost like a jungle, with long winding paths leading through flowering shrubs and palm trees toward the beach. The sound of the manmade waterfall crashing into the crystal blue waters of the massive pool makes a soothing backdrop to the live band playing at the bar nearby.

"Well, hello," a guy who's maybe a couple years older than me says when we almost collide on the path toward the bar. "Let me buy you whatever you're drinking."

He's handsome, not much taller than me, which has never been a deal breaker before, but all I can picture is how Grady towers over me, having to lean down to kiss me. He has sandy blond hair, which I instantly compare to Grady's dark strands. His eyes are blue. Pretty enough, but there's nothing deep going on behind them. Not like Grady who always seems to be brooding over something.

Damn it. All of a sudden there are tears in my eyes. The nice guy asks if I'm alright and if there's anything he can do to help. A fling might help me get over my heartbreak, but as good looking and seemingly sweet as this guy is, it makes my skin crawl to think about letting him touch me.

I only want Grady to touch me, ever again. And I totally screwed myself out of that option.

I manage to thank the guy and change course toward the beach, not wanting anyone else to hit on me at the bar. Even accepting a soda from another man makes me want to throw up. What's wrong with me? Will I ever be normal again?

Not without Grady , my cruel thoughts whisper in my head.

Not even the ocean can help me, and I stumble back to my room and into bed. I think a full night's sleep will help me, and hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to find the strength to get out and enjoy this beautiful island.

Chapter 10

Grady

As soon as I submit my resignation from the university, I rush over to Faye's apartment. I realize she never asked me how I knew which window was hers, and I like to think she accepted me following her around for the last year. I need to believe she'll be willing to hear me out after I ran away from her the other night.

It's only three stories up but the stairs seem to take forever, even running up two at a time. When I get to her door, I can't hold back and pound on it until it opens a crack. All I can see is a wary eye, but a second later the door closes again and I hear the person inside slipping the chain out of its track.

"Professor Simmons?" Faye's friend who had me sign the book the other day answers the door, wearing a sad expression. "Are you looking for Faye?"

"Yes," I sigh, I cannot wait another second to see Faye. I feel like I can't breathe.

Jen lets out an empty laugh and throws her arms up in the air. "She's not here."

I look past her. "I know she's not in class. Please, this is an emergency."

Jen looks at me with pity, "She went to Puerto Rico. She needed space to figure everything out, to find a way to move on. She turned off her phone for the trip – she really wants to disconnect. But I think you get her, and I know she's loved you ever since she read the first Lost Moon." I'm speechless, I didn't realize Faye has always loved my books. God, I really messed this up. I need to get to Puerto Rico and make things right with the girl of my dreams.

I turn away and Jen leaves me with another sad smile and wishes me luck finding Faye. I almost don't know where to start, then it hits me. In one of our long conversations, Faye told me some of the things she wanted to do with her winnings. She'd mentioned seeing wonders of the world, both manmade and natural, and bioluminescent bays were one of the things on her list. That's why she chose Puerto Rico, famous for its glowing water.

I don't bother going home and head straight to the airport. I can buy whatever I need once I land on the island. It's six hours before the next flight out and I spend the time wandering the terminal, too wired for coffee, my churning stomach rejecting any thought of airport snacks.

Every minute feels like an hour and I'm scared to death I won't find her. I don't even know what hotel she's staying at and a quick search turns up pages and pages of options. All I know is I won't stop looking. Not until I find her.

On the flight, I take the time to remember everything she told me, everything I know about my girl from the weekend we spent together, and the year I spent getting to know her from afar. Based on the things she likes, and the fact she's now flush with cash, I narrow it down to a choice between three hotels. When the taxi driver asks me where I want to go, I blurt out the place I think she'd like the best, hoping I'm correct.

It's close to sunset when I check in, desperate for any room they have available. While he's checking his computer, I make a sweep of the big, airy lobby, full of tourists, gift kiosks, and countless potted plants. My heart races when I see a redhead duck into the restaurant at the far side of the lobby, but it's not Faye.

Of course I wouldn't get that lucky.

"Is this the right time of year to see the bioluminescence?" I ask, when the guy hands me my key card.

"Yes, it's the best time, actually," he says, pointing vaguely toward the beach. "And the sunset shouldn't be missed. Just head out that way."

He looks around for my luggage and I tell him I'm traveling light, not bothering to wait around for an answer. I make my way through crowds of people who are already well on their way to being drunk, having the time of their lives on their vacation. For me, this feels like life or death, and I shake my head curtly at the server who blocks my path asking if I want some kind of tropical shots.

The sun is hanging low on the horizon, making the water almost blindingly bright. The beach behind the resort is an impossibly vast swathe of sand and there's still the chance I might have chosen the wrong hotel. As I wander through the crowd, I keep my eyes peeled, hoping I will be able to feel her presence before I catch sight of her.

After a few minutes of searching, I spot her. Off by herself at the water's edge, sitting cross-legged on the sand and leaning against an outcropping of boulders. I watch her for a minute, but that's not enough anymore. I can't keep her at a distance, I need her to be a real part of my life.

I carefully cross the sand and sit down beside her, making her jump a bit out of shock and then confusion. Her face is tear streaked which feels like a punch to the gut. Is this because of me? Her mouth drops open, but I need to speak first. I'm not taking any more chances.

"I love you," I say simply. She doesn't reply, but a fresh tear rolls down her cheek. "I'm sorry for being an ass. It took me a minute, but I'm here now. And I'm not leaving."

She shakes her head, swiping away the tears. "You can't give up everything for me, Grady. I can't let you."

I lean close enough to smell her coconut sunscreen. "You don't have any say in it, my love." I'm trying to tease away the anguish written all over her face, but she doesn't smile and her eyes are tortured.

"You can't give up your life," she says more forcefully.

"I'm not," I tell her. "Because you are my life. The only thing I need. Do you think some university job is more important than you? I still have my books, which I know you are a longtime fan of, by the way," she blushes, and I continue, "I doubt anyone in the book world cares and if there's a little scandal, that's just more publicity for the next in the series. And I ended the last one on a cliffhanger with four main characters in mortal peril so, if they don't like it…"

"You can't kill your characters! I need to know that their journey was worth it!" She's so damn adorable that my heart twists, but this time in a good way.

I laugh, "Fine, I'll keep them alive for you. Because I'm going to make you love me, Faye. As much as I love you."

Her shoulders shake and a new deluge of tears rushes down her face, mixed with a little bit of laughter. I reach to wipe them away, asking why she's crying, unable to face the fact she might reject me after all.

"These are happy tears," she says, half laughing as I keep brushing them away.

She holds out her hand and I take it, clasping our fingers together. She points toward the sea where the sun is just about to go down. Moving closer, she rests her head on my shoulder and we sit in companionable silence while we watch the sun finally dip below the peaceful horizon.

I put my arm around her as the gentle breeze turns cool and soon, darkness falls and the water up and down the shoreline glows a brilliant blue.

Her intake of breath makes me hold her closer, torn between the natural wonder ahead of me and the pure beauty of her joy. Then she jumps up, dragging me back toward the hotel. Not toward the glorious display in front of us.

"What's going on?" I ask, surprised she's so quick to want to leave the thing she's waited so long to experience. "Aren't we at least going to stick our feet in?"

She shakes her head, laughing as she pulls me close enough for our bodies to collide. "I've had enough of nature for the moment," she breathes against my neck, before tipping her head back to look at me. "I need you now, Grady."

My body responds instantly and we race back into the hotel. In the elevator, between fevered kisses, we decide to go back to her room instead of mine. Her hand trembles as she swipes the key card and the moment we're inside, I lift her, dragging her soft body against mine.

"I need to feel every inch of you," I tell her, nipping at the straps of her sundress.

"It feels like a month since I've seen you," she tells me with a pout.

I wipe away her little frown by kissing my way down her chest. "Too long," I agree. "Let's never do that again."

Has it really only been two days that we were apart? I won't survive something like that again. I kiss her hungrily, her taste the only thing I crave. Her hands move up my chest and lock around my neck. Her sighs drive me onward, licking down the side of her throat. She presses tight against me and my cock throbs against her belly.

"Yes," she moans. "That's what I need. Right now. Hurry."

I stop long enough to pick her up and sweep her to the balcony. Through the darkness the bay glows in the distance and I push her against the thick cement railing with pots of fragrant flowers set into it. She grasps the edge with her fingertips and leans over, thrusting her ass toward me. I grip her hips and rub my shaft in the space between her lush cheeks.

"Enjoy the view," I tell her. "While I enjoy your body."

She pushes eagerly against me, grinding her plump little ass against my cock. "I can barely see," she gasps. "You make my eyes cross, I need you so much."

"I like hearing that," I tell her. "Though I still think you need a spanking for running away."

She turns, mock outrage on her face. "Who ran away?"

I dip my head. "You're right. I'm the one who deserves punishment."

She twists out of my grasp and turns around to face me. With a wicked gleam in her eyes, she drops to her knees, tugging on my pants. When my cock bounces free, she grabs it and slurps up the moisture pooling at the tip. I groan, my own vision blurring as she wraps her lips around me and takes my cock deep in her mouth.

Her movements are fast and hard, a delicious punishment for turning away from her. Her hand slides up my leg to fondle my balls and I start to growl like a feral animal. "Keep that up and I'll be coming down your throat," I warn her.

She smiles up at me, a sight to behold with my cock in her mouth. She drags her lips away. "I know, you want to come inside my pussy."

It's too much and I grab her, swiveling her around while I yank her skirt up around her hips. Her little cotton panties are next, ripped in two and tossed aside. I push my fingers into her and groan to feel how wet and ready she already is for me.

"Do you love sucking me that much, my girl?" I ask, teasing my fingers in and out, then swiping her slick juices over her clit.

She shudders against me, nodding as she clings to the balcony edge. "So much," she murmurs. "But not as much as—"

Her words are cut off with a yelp as I ram deep inside her. "There's nothing better than fucking you," I say, pounding into her as if it's my own first time.

Her body trembles beneath my grip on her hips and she grinds wildly. A low moan turns into repeated cries of my name. Watching her pleasure makes me just as wild and I reach for her clit, about to lose my mind. I just need to hear her scream, feel her tight cunt spasm around me.

"Do it," I tell her. "Come for me, my love."

Her scream echoes out over the beach and I pump one last time, roaring as she locks around my cock like a vice. When every last drop of my seed is shot inside her, I slow, then stop, resting my head on her shoulder. She's shaking, losing her grip on the balcony and I use my last bit of strength to sweep her into my arms and carry her to the bed.

She sobs and crawls on top of me, her head buried against my neck and her legs entwined with mine. "Don't leave me again," she says in a shaky voice that cracks my heart.

"Never again," I assure her, stroking her hair. "You're mine, remember. And now, I'm yours."