Chapter 5

ARIANA

CHAPTER FIVE

Tyler's arm muscles relax under my fingers.

"I've never felt anything like that."

"Are you telling me you've never had an orgasm before?" He brushes my hair back, even though my pixie cut doesn't leave much to get in the way. It's affection, and I like it.

"No. I have, but not like that." Wanting more, I'm hesitant to move. My body feels like rubber, but it also longs to have him in every way.

The rough calluses on his fingers feel amazing as he runs them along my leg and thigh, over my hip, and rests on my abdomen. His touch is delightful. I can't help but arch to meet every move.

He asks, "What do you mean?"

"I've had them, but I've done it for myself."

He stares.

This may have been one of those times when I should have kept information to myself. He's going to think I'm odd.

As his lips pull into a smile, I relax.

"I'm all for that, but tonight, I'd like to do the honors if that's okay?"

Throat tight, I nod.

His mouth covers mine and the kiss is soft yet commanding as his tongue searches for mine. Wrapping his arms around me, he rolls so that I'm straddling him.

I break the kiss and press my palms to his broad chest. Reaching for my nightstand, I open the drawer and pull out a condom. I've kept them handy since I first started having sex. Not that I've had many partners. Just one actually, but it seemed logical to be ready.

Tyler takes the packet from my hand, tears it open and when I move back, he rolls the condom over his thick, beautiful cock.

I can't tear my eyes away. I follow the same path with my fingers, wondering how this magnificent man will ever fit within me.

Lifting, I center my wet slit over his cock and take his head inside. The stretch makes me go slow, but I want it all. Leaning forward, I take a bit more. "Oh."

He grips my hips. "Easy. I've got you." He kisses my neck and collarbone. These are places I never considered erogenous, but every time he kisses me, my body gushes with desire.

Taking another inch, I wait as my body adjusts. I rise and let gravity have its way. As the full length of him presses inside me, my body erupts with pleasure. I scream his name and collapse on top of him. I've never been loud, but perhaps that was a product of my earlier experiences being benign. This is something new. Even after two orgasms, I need more. I grind forward and back, every move rubbing my clitoris and the friction pulling delight and cries from me.

Hands flat on his chest, I rise and look into his eyes as they passionately shine. Another orgasm builds inside me, and I speed up my pace.

Tyler tightens his grip, holding me in place, and pumps into me hard and fast.

The world shatters into a million pieces as pleasure crashes through me.

One more thrust and Tyler grunts low and long and fills me.

Inexplicably, I wish there was no condom between us. I want to feel his semen, hot and sticky. I want all of him, and I wish I hadn't put a barrier there. Until this moment, everything was numbers for me. I've never wanted a child, but the thought of growing our baby burns through me and tightens my heart.

I push away. My cheeks heat. I roll to the mattress and face the wall.

Wrapping his arms around me, he kisses my neck. "You alright?"

"Fine."

There's a long pause. "I'll be right back." He kisses my shoulder and the bed jostles as he retreats to my bathroom.

I don't know why I thought of a baby, and I don't know why I'm embarrassed by my thoughts. Closing my eyes, I wait for the stupid emotions to wash away. Only, they don't. They get stronger.

There was an interesting coding in a firewall I had to breach at work on Friday, so I begin to rerun that in my mind.

The bed dips, his arms wrap around me, and he pulls my back against his chest. "What are you doing?"

"Why do you ask?" It's not like he can see into my head. How can he know I'm doing anything?

"When you're concentrating on something, your nose scrunches and your lips flatten." He kisses my cheek.

I turn my head to look at him. "They do?"

"Yes."

"And you noticed that in the two times you've met me?" How is that possible? Not even my sister has ever mentioned that to me.

"Three, if you include you running out of the house barefoot to yell at me." His smile reaches those light-brown eyes with their flecks of gold.

Rolling to face him, I look for some sign that he's ready to leave or tell me I'm too strange to keep seeing, but he only smiles and runs his hands over my back.

"Do you still want to take me to the beach on Saturday?" I'm braced for him to make some excuse for why he can't.

"Of course." His smile wavers. "Do you think that I'm less interested in you because we've made love?"

"It's often the case. I've read quite a few books on the subject. Men and women often look for conquest and then move on to the next." The more I say, the deeper his frown becomes, so I stop.

He cups my cheek and stares into my eyes. "I am not that kind of man, and you are not some prize to be won and squandered. I know I'm just a lineman working for the electric company and you're a genius who can send people to the moon, but that doesn't mean I'm shallow or stupid, Ariana."

Moving to sit with his feet on the floor, his back stretches with each heavy breath he takes. He rakes his hair with his fingers and hangs his head.

Knowing what people are feeling is not my strength, but it's clear he's angry or hurt. I kneel behind him and touch his shoulders. My throat tightens and emotions well up until a tear escapes. "Forgive me. Sometimes I say hurtful things, but I'm only spewing facts I've read. I do it to keep from being vulnerable, but you don't deserve that. You have been wonderful to me. I asked for this intimacy, and I think I got more than I expected. I lashed out to protect myself and if I hurt your feelings, I am very sorry."

The muscles in his back relax, but he continues to stare at the floor.

My tears fall on his skin, and I wipe them away. "I'm not good at emotions because they can't be calculated, but I know you're smart and never once thought your occupation indicated anything negative. I imagine you have to know quite a lot of math in your work to avoid electrocution."

Needing to stop crying, I do some quick math for the speed and velocity to break through the earth's atmosphere. Sitting back on my heels, I'm reluctant to stop touching him, but I pull my hands back anyway. "I understand if you want to go. Most people realize pretty early on that I'm hard to understand. I'm not for everyone."

If I'm honest, I doubt I'm for anyone. That's probably why I never considered having children. It's better not to want something so unlikely to happen anyway. "Lock the door when you leave, please."

I roll to the mattress and pull the covers over me. I can feel the emotions building up, and I pray that I can hold them in until he gets dressed and leaves.

The bed dips and his warmth presses to my back. "Thank you for the apology. I'm sorry too. I should have looked at things from your perspective. I'll do better." He kisses just behind my ear and wraps me in a hug.

From sorrow to elation in one moment. Life is the strangest thing. Just when I think I understand some small part of humanity, I'm surprised, and in a good way. "I like you more than I think is normal."

He chuckles softly. "Me too."

Relaxing, I relish how it feels to be held this way. "Will you stay the night?"

"I'll have to leave very early to go home and get ready for work. Is that okay?" His body fits mine like two puzzle pieces coming together.

"Yes." Tonight is the best night of my life. It's better than solving the problem on the blackboard at Princeton on the first day.

At eight o'clock in the morning, Meghan comes in and pours herself a cup of coffee. She pets the cats and sits across from me. "Why do you look like Cipher when he caught that chipmunk in the backyard?"

"Tyler came over last night. We went for a walk around town and then we made love." The warmth of it still rolls through me.

"You ‘made love'?" She takes a long swig of coffee. "Not, had sexual relations or intercourse or coitus? You made love?"

I thought she'd ask questions about his intentions, but she seems focused on my verbiage. "Yes. I believe that's the correct phrase for the experience. It was lovely and mutually satisfying. He was tender and stayed until he had to get ready for work. He asked me several times if I wanted to change my mind, which I thought was sweet. I didn't know men did that."

Meghan closes her gaping mouth and puts down her cup. "Nice men always ask permission."

I drink the last sip of my coffee, put Digit on the floor, and go to the kitchen for more. "But he didn't ask me for sex, I asked him. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted intimacy, and I didn't want to wait until Saturday. I explained that I'd still want him if he went home, and so he stayed. It was not at all like my previous experiences with Brock."

Anytime I mention Brock, Meghan makes a face like she ate something bitter. "How was it different?"

"I had three orgasms without having to masturbate." I sit with my full cup.

Sucking her lips into her mouth, Meghan bites down on them like she's trying not to laugh.

I've seen this many times. "You think I'm silly or lying?"

She frowns. "No. I think it's wonderful that you enjoyed the sex."

"Why did you want to laugh?"

"I suppose your bluntness embarrassed me for a moment, and I had to gather my composure."

Since her cheeks are rosy, I accept her reasoning. I still haven't learned to be less blunt. "I'll try to keep some things to myself."

"You never have to do that with me unless you want to, Ari. I can suffer my own shortcomings for a moment." She smiles. "You like Tyler?"

"I do. I was sad to see him leave this morning. I like the way he smells and the way he looks at me. For the most part, he seems to understand me. Though, we did have a moment when I hurt his feelings. After we worked through it, he held me until just before dawn." I've never missed anyone besides family before. My brother moved to South Carolina, and I miss him, but we talk on the phone often and he'll come home to visit. This is different. Tyler only left a few hours ago, and I long to see him again.

"Maybe you're in love."

"I have no idea what that would feel like." I move my arm so Cipher can jump into my lap.

Meghan's eyes close for a long moment, and she puts her coffee down. "Do you remember in high school when I dated Jon Wohton?"

"Yes. He was handsome and played football."

"Now he's married with six kids and lives on the outskirts of town." She shakes her head as if dismissing the thoughts. "He and I dated for a while and then he broke it off and started dating Laurie Montgomery. Do you remember how I cried and missed him?"

Even now, I want to smack Jon for hurting my sister. I nod.

"Well, that was puppy love. Love that is soft and easily gotten over. True love will bury itself in your soul and if you think about it ending, you can hardly breathe." She lets out a long sigh. "At least that's how I imagine it. I've never found anyone who makes me feel that way."

Maybe I love Tyler Strand. My gut twists into a knot. Can someone know such a thing in only a few days?