Chapter 41

Simon’s hip aches as he paces his deck, trying to force the memories to the surface. But only snippets of his session with Dr. Danvers float back to him. Something about Brianna and Kyla. He wonders why the memories are so fragmented. It didn’t happen with any of his previous ketamine sessions. Even when Dr. Danvers added MDMA to the mix.

“Hey, Simon!” some stranger on the beach calls out to him. The man is ripped, but with long, graying hair, he looks to be at least fifty. He pumps his arm in the air and makes the heavy-metal horn sign, extending his index and little fingers while tucking the others into his palm. “You rock, man!”

“Thanks, dude!” Grow up, asshole.

Simon has rarely felt this on edge. Ever since his lawyer called to tell him about Kyla’s complaint, his anxiety has peaked. He’s aware that he’s verging on paranoid, but that doesn’t help to calm him any.

What the fuck did I tell Dr. D about those girls?

Simon decides he needs to talk it through with someone else in the tribe. Maybe one of them has heard something? Stepping back inside his house, he grabs his phone and calls Reese. It rings through to voicemail. He texts her: Call me. Please. Important.

After fifteen minutes without a response, he decides to try someone else. But Salvador would be as good as useless, and Simon is afraid Baljit would bite his head off. Or worse, side with Kyla and Brianna. That leaves Liisa. Who happens to be a therapist, as well. If anyone has insider’s information, it will be her.

She answers on the fourth ring. “Simon?”

“Hiya, Liisa. How goes the battle?” he asks, realizing he’s trying too hard to sound casual.

“Did something happen?” Her voice is strained.

“Noooo.” He chuckles. “Just checking in. You know? After we all piled back onto the K-train. One at a time, of course. And since we don’t have a group session for a couple days, I thought you and I could debrief early. How did your session go?”

“Oh.” There’s a long pause. “Fine. And yours?”

“Same here,” he says, then calculates how much to reveal. “Except the whole thing is really cloudy. The other trips I remember so well. In fact, super-intensely. But this one… it’s all kind of murky, you know?”

“If you say so.”

“You’re a doctor, right? Do you have any ideas why my trip might have been like that?”

“I’m a psychologist, not a medical doctor,” Liisa says. “Maybe Dr. Danvers used a higher dose of ketamine this time?”

“Maybe, yeah. It’s just so weird to have this select chunk of memory missing. I don’t suppose Dr. D mentioned anything to you about me or my session, did she?”

“A therapist would never talk about one client with another. That would be an unforgivable breach of conduct.”

He sighs inwardly. “Guess not, huh?”

“Why don’t you just ask her what happened?”

Because Dr. D might be too repulsed to ever speak to me again. Or worse, she might have already reported me.But all he says is “Yeah, that’s probably my best move.”

As he is about to disconnect, Liisa says, “Simon, while I have you on the phone…”

“Yes?”

“That evening you saw JJ for the last time, I—”

“I didn’t see her! It was a phone call. In the middle of the day.”

“Of course. My mistake. But after JJ told you about Dr. Danvers’s suspicion that she was involved in Elaine’s death…”

“What about it?”

“Did JJ mention if Dr. Danvers suspected anyone else?”

“Like who?”

“Baljit? Reese? Salvador? Even me?”

“No,” Simon says as he stretches his aching hip. “It was just a brief call.”

“All right, thanks.”

“Cool,” Simon says, wondering why Liisa would care. “Guess I’ll see you at the next group session in a couple days.”

“About that.” Liisa pauses again. “I probably won’t make it to the next few. I have a bunch of conflicts.”