Chapter 3

Holly relaxes her grip on the syringe full of midazolam and turns to her laptop. She normally records her detailed notes after a session, but since all the clients are drowsy, she types a few quick lines now. “11:24. Clients sedated. Psychomotor activity is minimal, except Liisa continues to strum.”

Holly is about to add more when she catches movement out of the corner of her eye.

Suddenly, Elaine balls up into a fetal position on her recliner and screams, “Leave me alone!” Her arm jerks up so violently that the IV rips out of the vein. Fresh blood leaks down her forearm. She whips the blindfold off her face with her angled wrist, smearing blood across her cheek and forehead. “No! Go away! Go away!”

As soon as Holly reaches her, she pinches the skin over Elaine’s other shoulder and jabs in the needle. She injects the full dose of sedative into the muscle but realizes, with concern, that it will take longer to calm Elaine than an intravenous dose would have.

Elaine’s bloody hand shoots out, barely missing the tip of the needle, and grips Holly’s wrist. Her pupils are fully dilated, and her expression is frantic. “I can’t, I can’t…” she whimpers.

Holly feels for Elaine. Not only sympathy, but guilt, as well. Their therapy together had forced Elaine’s deeply buried memories of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of her uncle to the surface. While Holly saw confronting that trauma as necessary for Elaine’s healing, and ultimately her sobriety, she can’t imagine how overwhelming it must be for the frail young woman trembling in front of her now. It’s no wonder that Elaine always shows up early for sessions and is so desperate for more time with Holly.

“He’s here!” Elaine sobs. “I saw him!”

Holly squeezes her arm reassuringly. “Only those you can trust are here.”

Elaine lunges forward and wraps herself around Holly. The hug is almost crushing. Elaine’s narrow rib cage trembles against Holly’s breast, and she can feel the other woman’s heart pounding.

“Hold me,” Elaine murmurs. “Please.”

Despite her discomfort, Holly doesn’t break off the intimate embrace. But her gaze sweeps the room to ensure the other clients still have on their headphones and blindfolds. They do. “It’s OK, Elaine.” She strokes the back of her head. “It will be over soon. You’ll see.”

Elaine clings to her for long seconds. As much as Holly would love to slip out of the uncomfortably tight hug, she senses it would only agitate Elaine, so she surrenders to it.

Suddenly, Elaine gasps and jerks herself free, pushing Holly away with both hands.

Lips trembling and eyes dark with suspicion, Elaine gapes at her. “What do you think you’re doing, Dr. Danvers?”