Epilogue 1

EPILOGUE 1

Dean Aavik

A week later

If someone had told me mere weeks ago that I would be sitting in my favorite reading chair today, the fire in the fireplace casting a comfortable glow over the living room, with a wonderful little boy at my feet and an equally wonderful man cooking up a storm in the kitchen, I would’ve… I probably would’ve fallen into a pit of depression because of how farfetched that sounded.

Every second of this moment, every fragment of this picture, and every scent wafting over me filled me with so much serenity that I couldn’t focus one bit on the book I was reading. From the smell of leather and oil from Joshua’s new dining room table and the coffee on my side table, to the heavenly work lunches he was preparing for Gael and me. The sizzling sound of chicken hitting the skillet, Joshua’s humming along to the music he played… Gael’s signature snickering—he was reading quite the page-turner while he rested his cheek against my knee. It took a special person to find my sense of humor funny, especially when it was a book about politicians during wartime. But Gael evidently enjoyed my dry remarks on Truman, Johnson, and Chamberlain.

Maybe because he understood. Gael lived and breathed history almost as much as I did—and I looked like a fool every time I thought back on the day I’d told him we’d probably never be on the same page in life.

I closed my own book and took a sip of my coffee. No use in pretending to read. I just wanted to sit here and revel until we had to go. I checked my watch—roughly an hour. Then we had dinner at KC and Lucian’s house.

I combed my fingers through Gael’s hair, and he kissed my knee and grinned to himself as he turned another page.

Surely it was too soon to believe I was in love, but…fifty-four years on this planet, and I was utterly clueless on the matter. I could only claim that everything just felt so fucking right that I was torn between wanting to freeze time and push forward to experience more of Gael and Joshua. They had my chest in a vise.

Almost as if he knew I was thinking about him, Gael rested his chin on my kneecap and peered up at me.

I smiled and confirmed it to myself—yes, it was too soon to speak those three words out loud, but I felt them. I felt them within, and I felt them from him. We were on the same page after all.

“My beautiful boy.” I stroked his cheek.

He beamed. “I could say the same about you! Only, Daddy instead of boy. And Owner and Master and Professor.”

I chuckled.

* * *

There was that feeling again. As we walked up to Lucian’s house, part of me wanted to head back to Joshua’s place, while the other part was very much looking forward to the evening with our friends. Cam and Gael had plans to bake pies after dinner. Noa was off rehearsing with his band—I’d learned he was a drummer—so he’d join us later. Joshua and KC were going to pick each other’s brains about a future interrogation scene, and I had more catching up to do with Lucian.

It was a very nice house. One part old, one part modern. They’d remodeled last year, and now the indoor pool area was encased in glass instead of brick so that they could open up in the summer. It was the perfect place for KC’s rehab training. He had to work out every day in order the keep the strength he had left in his legs.

Gael scurried up toward the main entrance along the short end of the house, and he rang the doorbell. “Hurry, Daddies!”

“Are we in a rush, little one?” Joshua chuckled and slipped his hand into mine.

I gave it a squeeze.

Cam opened the door as we reached Gael, and KC and Lucian weren’t far behind. The boys were excited to see each other, though Cam’s focus remained on being Lucian’s slave. The boy offered to take our coats and told us there were welcome drinks in the den.

Gael observed every move Cam made, and it was a wonderful part of my boy’s journey to follow. He was finding his way, turning it into his own path, with a unique twist that was all him, and it just made me love—yes, love. Goddammit, I loved him.

* * *

After a terrific dinner, the “grown-ups” got some privacy once Cam and Gael had cleared the table and served coffee and treats. We stayed in the dining room, and they retreated to the kitchen for their next activity.

I’d offered to drive so Joshua could share a bottle of wine with KC and Lucian, and now they moved on to cognac and whiskey.

I was more interested in the chocolate-covered Madeleines that Cam had prepared.

I dipped one in my coffee as KC and Joshua chatted about work. More importantly, cutting down on work. Another development that filled me with more pleasure than I could describe. Joshua wanted to work less, possibly go down to half time, and he was speaking in terms of “a few months.”

“That’s what Lucian’s been trying to do for a year now,” KC said. Not without a wry little look for his partner. “But it seems there’s always one more client, one more case—”

“You’re the lawyer—not me, darling,” Lucian pointed out. “I don’t have cases.”

“Oh, fucking semantics.” KC rolled his eyes. “You do have clients, though. Too many of them.”

Joshua had cases. I gave his leg a squeeze, definitely happy to hear more about his plans for cutting back. But I was also hoping to hear about Lucian doing the same because he looked very tired these days.

“I’m not in a position to just walk away,” Lucian replied. “I have long-term clients whose portfolios I’ve managed for years. It takes time.”

Understandable, but he was wrong about one thing. We could, in fact, walk away. Lucian worked in finance, and his field wasn’t all that different from what my brother did. He was a problem-solver for a large hotel chain, and I’d watched him over the years. Same kind of speeches—just this project, just one more work trip. Slowing down was always postponed.

“I reckon we’ve all reached the age where we have to prioritize,” Joshua said. “If I kept the hours I did when I was with the MPD, I’d keel the fuck over. Besides—” he shrugged “—I don’t want to anymore. I’mma let Dean be my sugar daddy soon enough.”

KC and I laughed, and I leaned in and kissed Joshua’s cheek.

“Nothing would make me happier.” I was honest.

Lucian smiled faintly and loosened his tie a little. “I suppose I could get better at prioritizing. I’m just not ready to admit I’m too old to work.”

Who said anything about that?

“Have you even turned forty-five?” I asked. “Slowing down doesn’t mean stopping altogether, Lucian.”

“Exactly.” KC tipped his whiskey at me. “Let’s not forget you have a goddamn doctor telling you to slow down too.”

“All right, all right.” Lucian got a bit defensive, and it was clear he wanted to change the topic. “Things will get better soon. We have a new adviser shadowing me—he’ll take over in a couple of months. Let’s move on.”

I could tell KC was holding back from pushing further; now wasn’t the time, when they had guests and so on, and I didn’t have that relationship with Lucian to press the matter—

“At the risk of overstepping my bounds,” Joshua said, clearing his throat, “I’ll tell you what the chief told me when I was burned out. He said—it’s about who will take care of me when I’m sick. When I’m old, when I come home from work. Who will remember me when I’m dead. It sure ain’t coworkers and clients. They don’t care if I work myself into an early grave. They won’t remember the extra hours I put in, my sleepless nights, or how my health deteriorated.”

I reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. He didn’t have that relationship with Lucian either, yet it didn’t stop him from speaking candidly about the truths someone needed to hear.

“You wanna give that time, all that effort, to those who love you instead,” Joshua finished. “To those you love.”

His words had made an impact. Lucian glanced over at KC, who offered a sober look in return and grabbed his hand on the table.

I turned back to Joshua and found him watching me.

“That’s what I’ll be doing,” he said quietly.

Jesus. I tightened my grip on his hand and kissed him quickly. He couldn’t possibly know how much I—

“Master?” Cam called. A beat later, he appeared in the doorway. “Sorry to disturb, but I can’t reach the extra mixing bowls on top of the cabinet. Could you help me?”

“Of course, love. I’ll be right there.” Lucian stood up and made his escape, but just as “go figure, we have a runner” entered my mind, I watched his steps falter. He had to steady himself by grasping KC’s shoulder. Alarm shot through me when I saw the look on his face; it was as if all the blood had drained from it, and his forehead glistened with sweat in the dimmed spotlight above.

Joshua and I shot up from our chairs at the same time as KC turned in his seat and tried to pull Lucian down on his lap.

“Baby, sit down,” KC urged.

“Oh my God—Lucian!” Cam ran over, panicked, and I rounded the table to move Lucian’s chair closer to KC’s. “Lucian, can you hear me? Is he having a heart attack? Lucian!”

“I’m fine,” Lucian gritted out. “I…I’m…fuck.” He screwed his eyes shut and clenched his fists, and a second later, I managed to get him to sit down right next to KC. When Lucian rubbed at his chest, Joshua and I exchanged a quick look. He took over for me and dropped down to Lucian’s level, and he and KC tried to figure out Lucian’s symptoms.

“I’m gonna call an ambulance,” I said. My heart pounded as I pulled out my phone. That was when Gael stormed in, presumably having heard the commotion, and I was sure my worry mirrored the emotion I saw in his eyes.

“It’s gonna be okay, Master,” Cam whimpered. “You have to be okay.”

“Steady breaths, Lucian—”

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”