Heartache

Heartache

Arabella

brOCK CAUGHT UP with me after my last class. We don't have a tutoring session today, but he walks me to the library with his arm casually tossed over my shoulders. More than a few people stare at us as we make our way across the quad, but thankfully I don't see the guys and their horde of girls at the fountain today. I've had a rough day and don't need to deal with them. I don't want to see or hear them any day, but today has been horrible and it would only add to the shit I'm already dealing with. Putting me in a deeper funk than what I've been feeling for the last few weeks knowing I'm never going to escape the abuse and pain I'm in daily. At least not until I can get the fuck out of this town and away from everyone in it.

"Why are you walking me to the library?" I finally ask Brock as we get across the quad and head to the library.

"I've got time to kill before practice. There's still work I can do before headin' over there. So, I'll keep you company until the new girl shows up for you to tutor. Are you sure you're not takin' on too much with a third person?" he returns, his voice almost a whisper so no one else overhears him.

"I'll be okay. As long as I get out of here in time to go to work, I can take her on. She already knows I have a busy schedule and I'm not going to be messing around. She either shows up for our sessions or can find someone else," I tell him, not sure about working with this girl.

Amy isn't the shy girl she wants everyone to believe she is. In fact, she's one of the girls who hang all over Fallon and the rest of the guys. I've seen her around campus and while she doesn't hang out around Karmen and my lovely cousin, she does want to be part of their world. So, I've made it extremely clear that I'm not going to play games or let her waste my time. Amy says she's serious and will show up when she's supposed to and do the work. Yeah, that was also a conversation we had to have. She thought I was going to do her work for her, and wasn't happy when it was discovered she has to do her own work. Just another entitled bitch who believes everyone in the world should cater to her demands and orders. I won't be one of them much to her surprise. I guess she truly believes all she has to do is get Karmen to come after me or something and I'll do her bidding.

Entering the library, I come to a sudden stop. Sitting at the table just behind where I typically sit when I'm not in a tutoring session are the guys. Fallon, Dash, Dante, Kash, and Braxtyn sit at the table and all eyes are on Brock and myself as we make our way inside the library and take our seats. I've got my back to the guys as Brock looks at me with worry filling his eyes. He might not know why I don't like Fallon and the rest, but he knows there's something that happened in my past. Even with my back to the guys, I can feel their eyes burning into my back. They're staring at me or Brock and I almost wish he'd go sit with them and get the attention off of me.

Just as I go to open my mouth to tell him to join them, the door of the library opens to reveal Karmen, Collette, and Amy. They saunter into the library as if the world is theirs and they own everything around them. Their hips are swaying more than usual as they head straight for the guys while talking and laughing so loud it echoes in the large room. I turn to face the librarian where she sits behind the counter with a glare aimed at the trio. Amy doesn't even glance in my direction as they try to find seats on the laps of the guys who don't move to accommodate them.

I hear the frantic whispers of the guys as they try to get the girls to leave them alone. I'm not sure what they're doing here, but Karmen is having none of it.

"Fallon, move your fucking chair so I can sit down," she screams, her voice making me cringe as it echoes around us.

"No," he says low and deep so he doesn't get in trouble. "There's no reason for you to be here. You don't ever come to the library so there's no point in bein' here now. We're actually here to study and work on our degrees."

"I will be wherever you are, Fallon. We're gonna be married before too long and you should be doing everything in your power to make me happy. For the last few months, you are so fucking withdrawn it's no wonder I've turned to others to fuck me," she says as I try to hold in the gasp that wants to escape.

First of all, I'd never cheat on anyone I was with. That's just the lowest thing I believe someone can do. If you're not happy in your current relationship, be honest and leave them before you decide to take someone else into your bed. I always had a feeling that Karmen wasn't faithful to Fallon, but now she's putting it out there for everyone to know. Still, they won't turn their backs on her or bring her down because Karmen can do anything she wants without any consequences.

"Continue goin' to them, Karmen. I'll make sure our parents know and the contract that was signed between them will become void. You do remember there is a clause in there about fidelity? You've just admitted in front of everyone that you've been cheatin' on me," Fallon states, his voice hard and cold as Brock smirks over my shoulder.

I guess Brock is enjoying the entertainment being provided for us as my cousin opens her mouth to join the chaos they're creating.

"Dash, why didn't you come over to see me last night? I waited for you all night long," Collette whines, her voice just as grating and nerve-wracking as Karmen's.

"Never made plans to go see you last night, Collette. Just like I won't come see you tonight or any other night. Whatever you think is gonna happen between the two of us is nothin' more than somethin' you've made up in your own fuckin' mind. I'm not gonna keep tellin' you to leave me alone. I won't ever be interested in you or anythin' you have to offer," Dash states, his voice as hard and cold as Fallon's.

"Why don't you both get the fuck outta here? None of us want you around and we figured we could actually get some peace and quiet by studyin' in the library. The one place you never show your fuckin' faces," Dante speaks up, his gravelly, deep voice washing over me and causing a tremor that I can't prevent from being visible to anyone looking at me.

"These young men are correct," the librarian says, walking over to the table. "This is a place to study and find the help you need for any papers and homework you might have. If that's not why you're here, then you need to leave. Now."

"Listen here, you old fucking bat! I'm not going anywhere. This is my man and I have the right to be in here with the amount of money my parents pay to this place. So, I suggest you get the fuck out of my face before you find yourself without a job," Karmen promises the librarian as I hear a chair scrape back against the wooden floor.

"Karmen, you're not gonna have anyone fired. Get the fuck outta here or I'll call my father right this second and make sure the contract becomes null and void," Fallon states, the anger coursing through him filling the entire library. "I don't ever want to see you in here again if it's not to study or get some tutorin'. When I'm in here, you leave me the fuck alone."

After a few minutes, I hear Karmen stomp her foot like a petulant child before her heels start clicking across the floor. When she gets to my table, Brock stands up and I know he's preventing whatever she was about to do to me.

"Move the fuck along. You got no business comin' anywhere near Arabella, Karmen. She's done nothin' to you and you're done makin' her life miserable. I see or hear you near her, I'll make sure your life is nothin' but pure fuckin' hell. You don't know anythin' about me, Karmen. You don't know my reach or the amount of power my family truly has. Get the fuck lost!" Brock says, the library completely silent as he stands guard in front of me.

"Argh!" she shrieks out before Collette rushes to follow behind her. They're two peas in a fucking pod and I hope they betray one another to the point their little reign of terror comes to an end once and for all.

Instead of coming over to me to start her tutoring, Amy stays at the table with the guys and flirts with them. None of them pay her any attention as her voice floats over to the table Brock and I are sitting at. My patience is wearing thin and I'm ready to get the fuck out of here. I'm not comfortable being so close to the guys who used to be my best friends only to turn their backs on me without hesitation.

"Wanna get out of here?" Brock asks after several more minutes pass and I stand from my seat before pushing it in.

"Yeah. I've got no reason to hang out here. Amy is off my list of students to tutor. I'm not going to keep wasting my time for someone that would rather flirt with guys than do what she's here to do," I answer him, making sure I have my bag secure on my shoulder despite the pain my body is still in.

"Where do you think you're going?" Amy asks when she realizes I'm leaving the library.

"I'm not here to have my time wasted. I've got more important things to do than wait until you're ready to meet with me. You're already ten minutes late and that's time I could be spending where it's needed. I told you this when you came to me to get help. I'm not going to do your work for you and I'm not about to have my time wasted because you think I'm beneath you," I answer her without turning around and looking at anyone else in the library.

"I'm paying you for your time so I suggest you get your ass back at the table and wait until I'm ready to start," Amy demands, her voice turning hard and cold.

"You haven't paid me anything for the time I'm supposed to be tutoring you. Keep your money and use it for something you truly want to do, Amy. I will not be helping you. If that means you're off the cheerleading squad, it's your own fault. I've been here and you made the decision to hang out with the jocks instead of letting me help you," I inform her, finally turning around to face her. "Dean Maddison already knows I'm not going to have my time wasted because of everything I have to do outside of school. So, go cry to him and see how far you get."

I turn back around and start to walk away when a voice from the past stops me in my tracks.

"Arabella, can we talk for a minute?" Fallon speaks up, his voice washing over me and sparking something I buried deep a long time ago.

"No, we can't. I don't have anything to say to you. To any of you. There are plenty of people here you can get help with anything you need, Fallon. Leave me alone. You've done it very well for the past ten years. Don't stop it now," I say, keeping my eyes on Brock and only him.

"Please, Bella. It's important," he says, his voice showing how vulnerable he is right now.

Well, I've been vulnerable for the last ten years and no one has given a shit about me or what's been going on in my life. Without saying another word, I keep walking as if Fallon never once said anything to me. All the guys have gotten extremely good at ignoring me and not stopping their little group of sluts from making my life miserable. I don't need to hear anything he has to say to me after so long. None of them could possibly have anything to say that I'd want to hear.

However, since starting here, I've had more interaction with these guys than in the last ten years combined. This is not how I envisioned my college career going at all. I thought I'd be able to hide out and stay hidden from everyone that hurt me in high school. I've been so na?ve about everything and I don't like how it makes me feel. As with every single day of my life, today is just another day that I'm proven how stupid I truly am. Everything I thought would happen in college isn't. My bullies are still as mean as ever and go out of their ways to ensure my life is nothing but pure hell.

Before we leave the library, Brock puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to his side. For the first time I feel safe walking around this campus. Brock has proven he'll be at my side and defend me against those who want to hurt me. He doesn't force me to talk when I'm not ready to or ask me a million questions about what the hell has happened to me. He lets me process things and only speak about things I'm ready to disclose to him. Brock is the best friend I could ever have in my life. I don't know what I did to deserve his friendship, but I'm going to treasure it every single day.

As the door closes behind us, I can still feel the eyes of the guys staring me down. Why can't they leave me the hell alone as they've been doing for so long?

"I'm not gonna ask about what that shit was, Arabella. You know I won't ever push you to talk about things you don't want to. I know your life is shitty and that you hide secrets from everyone around you. Just know that I'm not ever gonna leave your side. Anythin' you tell me, I'll take to my grave. I'm proud of you for stickin' up for yourself with Amy. She's no better than those other sluts. Just lookin' for a man with the largest bank account so she doesn't have to work a day in her life for anythin' she wants," Brock says as we make our way across the campus with multiple people staring at us.

"Thank you, Brock. I'm done with her shit. I should've known that she was going to be a problem when she tried to force me to do her work for her instead of helping her learn the material herself," I tell him, my voice no more than a whisper because I'm embarrassed at the compliment from Brock.

I won't ever know how to accept a compliment from anyone. The last person to be proud of me or show me any kind of love was my dad. For the last ten years, I've lived in hell and no one has stopped for a second to help me or offer me any kind of way out.

"If you need anythin', call me, Arabella. I'll always be here for you," he says, squeezing me just a little bit as we make it to the gate of the campus.

"I know, Brock. That means more to me than you'll ever know. Now, get to practice before you get in trouble. I'll see you tomorrow, Brock," I tell him as he finally releases me from his hold so I can start the long walk home.

"I'm goin'. I'll see you tomorrow, Arabella. Why don't you get some rest tonight and we'll work together tomorrow. And don't think I'm not gonna say anythin' to the Dean about what Professor Rollins is doin' to you. I've got an appointment with him tomorrow," Brock informs me as I stop and turn to face him.

"Don't do that, Brock. Just let it go. If you tell the Dean what's going on, the target on my back will only become larger and I'll be the one to suffer," I plead with him, knowing he's going to do what he wants at the end of the day, but hoping he'll take in my words and hear the desperation filling my voice.

"Are you sure? I'm sure the Dean will put an end to his treatment of you. Probably the treatment from Karmen and the others as well," he says, concern filling his face.

"No. Karmen doesn't ever get in trouble for anything she does. I've been down this same road with her for years. I thought she might actually grow up over the summer, but I was wrong about that. I only have four years before I can get the fuck outta of High Point," I tell him, trying to put a smile he'll believe on my face.

Brock doesn't say anything in response. He simply watches me walk away from campus while biting his tongue. I turn back around and head away from school. My mind is in turmoil about what Fallon suddenly had to say to me. There truly is no reason for him to want to have any kind of conversation with me after everything we've been through. I'm content with only having Mrs. Andrews and Brock in my life. I don't need to hear any false bullshit from Fallon or the rest of the guys. Vinnie will always be my first priority and no one will ever take him from me. Everything I do for the rest of my life will be for my brother.