Safe

Safe

Arabella

I'VE DECIDE TO go back to the house my mother's in today. I'm not sure Vinnie and I will stay here, but we need to go over there so I can make sure nothing has happened to what little bit we still have left in the place. I mean, it's not really a concern now because I have money and can easily replace what's been taken, but it's the point of things because I know that my mother will steal anything she can from me to ensure she gets her fix. Especially since yesterday she had a huge fight with the latest man she brought into the house and he left in a flurry of curse words, shouting, and slamming things. It was all easily heard from the safety of Mrs. Andrews' house. Part of me wanted to go check on my mother because I should love her and want to make sure she's okay. However, the rational side of me knows she doesn't love me and there's no reason in hell for her to want me over there to check on her. The only thing she ever wants is my money and to beat the hell out of me when she doesn't get it.

It"s been almost a month since Marianna and Karmen beat the hell out of me in the bathroom. Most of the wounds and bruises have healed and I'm not in quite as much pain as I have been over the last month. Yes, there's still pain when I move certain ways and I have to be careful of moving too quickly. However, that's all stuff I can deal with because I'm so used to feeling this kind of lasting effects from getting beaten on. That's a sad, horrible thought, but it's the truth of my situation. While I've seen them both on campus, they've not made any moves to get close to me or corner me in any of the buildings or library again. I don't know if they're trying to stay away so they don't get in trouble or what's going on. I'm just happy not to have to worry about them or have Brock want to put them in their place. He's already at my side even more than normal after that day he found me in the bathroom, laying on the floor in a pool of blood.

I don't remember much about what happened after Brock found me. It's all a murky haze. Hell, I barely remember him being the one to find me. If he hadn't told me he got worried and bust into the girl's bathroom, I would've thought the librarian or another girl is the one who found me and got help. It was weird to wake up in the infirmary. I've never been there despite what's been done to me on campus. I prefer to keep my situations private and not have to answer a million questions about what happened. When I was asked about who attacked and hurt me, I lied and said I didn't remember. I felt bad about lying, but there was no way I was going to snitch on those two girls. They're evil and the only one who would be hurt again was me. So, I kept my mouth shut and didn't talk to anyone about anything. Even when they let Brock in to see me before I told them I was leaving and heading home.

Anyway, after going to school and not having a run-in with anyone, I managed to walk home after assuring Brock I was able to walk there. I stopped in at Mrs. Andrews' long enough to get Vinnie packed up so we could go to the house. Mrs. Andrews needs a break from us and to have her home back. That's one of the biggest differences between our two houses. My mother has done absolutely nothing to make our house a home. Not when the only thing she's concerned about is getting her next fix and finding the next guy to keep her in drugs and alcohol. Mrs. Andrews might not have a lot to her name, but her house is a home. It's filled with pictures, memories of her life, and love. She has truly made it a safe place and the love she shows my brother and I are what gets me through each day. I just hope one day I can make sure she doesn't have to struggle as much as she does now. It just hurts to know her kids and grandkids don't want anything to do with her.

"Are you sure you'll be okay going over there?" Mrs. Andrews questions me again for the tenth time since I told her what I was doing.

"I'll be okay. There's no man in the house with my mother and if she starts anything, I'll just come back. As long as you're okay with me doing that," I promise her, turning to look at her once I'm through the doorway of her home and standing on the porch.

"You and Vinnie are always welcome here, Arabella. I've loved having you both stay with me for the last little while. If anything happens, you come right on back over and I'll take care of you both," she relents as she keeps an eye on me while I walk down her steps and across the yard to the house I loathe.

Taking a deep breath in, I slowly release it and carefully take the steps up so I don't fall through the rotting wood or hurt Vinnie by getting tripped up somehow. The last thing I want to do is hurt him because I was moving too fast or missed something that wasn't there the last time I was here. Getting to the door that's now sitting funky on its hinges, I carefully pull it open to find the inside door open all the way. It doesn't take me long to find my mother passed out on the couch. She's still got a needle hanging from her arm. Shaking my head, I step inside and head straight for the room I share with Vinnie. After closing the door, I lean back against the flimsy wood and close my eyes. I'm so completely over this shit and will do whatever it takes to get the hell out of this mess with Vinnie in my custody. Maybe I should talk to Maria about the situation and see what I'd have to do in order to gain custody of him from my mother. That's something I'll have to think about because I still don't truly know her at the end of the day and she could just come in and take my brother from me.

Opening my eyes again, I make my way to the middle of the room and lay a blanket down on the floor. Setting Vinnie down on the blanket so he's not on the nasty carpet of the house, I put a few small toys around him and sit down with my bag. I pull out everything I need to work on along with my two planners so I can go over them once I'm done with my work. Setting up my class work in the order I want to do them, I go over the syllabus for the first class and see what I have left to complete. In math I've only got two more assignments to do. I'll be able to get them done today and turn them in to Mr. Hayden. He knows I'm ahead in everything even though I've not turned in all the work. My professors know I'm ahead in my work and have asked me to wait until each assignment is due to turn in. I don't want to overwhelm them or not get a grade on something because they misplaced it when I turned it in too early. Mr. Hayden is only grading my math work so he's not overwhelmed and ready to take my work the second it's done.

I did just find out yesterday that I'll be taking my midterms and finals in the library with Mr. Hayden watching over me. Not for all of my classes, but for math and English. Dean Maddison doesn't want either one of those professors grading my major tests and fail me for their own selfish reasons. So far, no one has gotten in trouble about lying or accusing me of cheating and trying to get me expelled. I knew nothing would happen to them because nothing ever happens to anyone who tries to fuck me over. Brock is pissed as hell that nothing has been done to either professor or Karmen. I keep trying to tell him that's how things work in High Point because the elite and rich get away with everything they do while everyone else suffers at their hands with no one helping them get out of their circumstances.

I'd never take a handout from someone to get out of my situation. However, it would be nice to have someone besides Brock stick up for me or make sure someone paid the consequences of their actions. Karmen is never going to suffer a day in her life because she always plays the victim and everyone else protects her. It's how it's always been and why she gets away with treating everyone so horrible. Not to mention why the other mean girls always seem to orbit around her and become the skanks that seem to rule the school no matter if we're in high school or now college.

Vinnie is babbling in his baby talk and playing with his toys as I get busy working on my math homework. Once I'm done with this, I can start making study sheets for the midterm and final in the class. Then I can also ensure that I have study sheets for Brock and Danny done for their tests. Danny is doing a lot better in his math class. He's gotten the hang of how I explain things to him and isn't struggling. He takes notes while he's in class and reads his textbook when he"s not in class. I've had enough time to go through his textbook and read everything he's got to work on. The chapters are pretty self-explanatory, but to some people it's hard as hell to understand everything the book is saying along with the notes he's given in class.

No, he doesn't have Professor Rollins as his math teacher, but he has a hard time grasping the concept based on how the professor teaches the class. Professor Rollins would tear Danny apart if he were in his class. I'm happy Danny wasn't put with the asshole because he wouldn't have made as much progress as he has so far. I work on putting things in terms he can understand and ways he doesn't have to focus so completely on the work. The only times he has trouble is sometimes when he's trying to put the different numbers into the equations he's working with. Even that doesn't take him as long to get the hang of lately. It's so amazing to see him light up and get something on the first try instead of struggling to understand a concept. This is why I tutor and enjoy helping others.

***

All of my work is done. So far, I've only got a few more assignments left to complete and they should be done by the end of the week. I've got two more papers to write for English which will also be done way before they're supposed to be turned in. The research is already started on the first paper and it won't take me long to get it put together. In about two weeks I'll start the research for my last paper that's due in my English class so I can get that one written as well. I've got one paper left in my psychology class and one assignment left in my other class. Everything for psychology is done with the exception of my paper. That's really all I have left to do in my classes. It's a relief to know everything is just about done and I can start focusing on my next semester.

My classes will be different and I want to make sure everything is set before the semester even starts. Every semester I'm in this university, I want to remain completely ahead in every subject like I am this year. That way I can focus on everything else going on in my life and ensure that no one's going to fuck things up for me in a way I can't come back from. Karmen and the rest of the assholes will do anything to make sure I'm not here any longer than necessary. Especially to keep me away from the guys they're so obsessed with. Yes, they are completely obsessed with Fallon, Kash, Braxtyn, Dante, and Dash. They will do anything to remain close to them and ensure their life is as easy as possible so they don't have to do anything when they graduate from High Point University.

I take a break once my work is done to play with Vinnie and get him changed and fed. Mrs. Andrews has already given him a bath so I don't have to worry about that tonight. Tomorrow morning he'll get another bath before I leave for the day. Hopefully it's not extremely cold in the house so he doesn't get sick. That's the one thing I hope to never have to deal with—Vinnie getting sick to the point I can't help him. So far, he's just had regular colds or the flu once or twice. I take him to all of his doctor's appointments and make sure he's up-to-date on everything. No one ever questions why I'm the one bringing him to his appointments for some reason. It kind of puzzles me because it's always just been something I've done. Maybe they think he's my son and that's why no one says anything to me. At this point, I'm just happy to know I can get him the help he needs when something does happen to him.

After feeding Vinnie some baby food I just got him from the store the other day, I get him changed and ready for bed. No, it's not time to put him to bed yet, but I want to make sure he's warm. When I was out shopping the other day, I should've bought a heater for our room. I guess I wasn't planning on returning here so soon and that's why I didn't do it. Instead, I'll keep him in warm clothes and make sure Vinnie's got his new blanket to cover him when I do put him in the crib for the night. It's thick and warm. He sweats over at Mrs. Andrews' house when I cover him with it. So, I'm hoping that tonight it will keep him warm and he won't get sick. It's something I always worry about when I'm in this house. For the first time, it wasn't something I worried about when we were at Mrs. Andrews. She keeps her house warm and it actually stays warm.

In a little bit, I'll give Vinnie his bottle and put him down for bed. Right now, he's content playing with his toys as I watch him out of the corner of my eye while I pull the planners into my lap so I can go through them and make sure I'm not overlapping on anything. Sal has given me a few more hours at the pizzeria so I have to make sure tutoring doesn't get in the way of the hours I've been given now. Mrs. Andrews knows and is ready to watch Vinnie when I need her to. She's amazing in how often she'll take him for me so he's not left alone with our mother. I honestly don't know what I'd do if Mrs. Andrews wasn't our neighbor and willing to help me as much as she does.

I've got tutoring this week with Danny two times. He'll meet with me in the library for an hour each time. When we're done with his math homework, I'm going to go over the papers he's written for a few other classes. He's nervous about turning them in as he wrote them and I want to make sure he's confident in all of his classes. If he asks me to help him with something else, I don't have a problem in doing so. Since Brock and him are the only ones I'm currently tutoring, there's no reason I can't help him do something else for his other classes. Danny pays me for every hour I spend helping him and I want to make sure he feels as if he's getting his money's worth for the help I'm giving him.

Brock is also having me help him go over his papers. I've been helping him with English since the beginning and he's thriving in both classes. Brock wants to remain on the football team and there's no way I'm going to let him fail for any reason. He's a good player based on what he's told me so far. I can see the way his face lights up when he talks about the team and their games. The happiest times for Brock are when he's on the field with the rest of the guys and bashing other guys in because that's who he is. Football is in Brock's blood and he loves it. I'm happy to help him stay on the team if he needs it for every year we're here. Brock isn't sure if he wants to play football professionally, but if that's his endgame, I want to make sure he gets there.

I pull out the phone I got and see no notifications from anyone. Not that I was really expecting anyone to call or message me. Having a phone is so new to me that I usually forget to take it out of my bag to check for any calls or messages I've missed. That's something I'll have to take care of and do better with considering everything going on. Brock has messaged and called me several times and I haven't answered him a single time. I'll have to keep the phone with me over the next few days. Especially because I know he's got a game coming up. I'm just not sure if this one is an away or home game. If it's an away game, then I won't have him for tutoring the last half of the week. They always leave on Thursday for away games and don't return until Sunday sometime.

Since I don't have anyone to message or call, I log into my bank account. The manager helped me set it up when I went in to sign all the papers there. All of the money has been deposited into both of my accounts. Yes, I have two of them. One is a savings account while the other one is a regular checking account. I've been using it to pay the bills for the house because it was always a matter of time when I brought Vinnie back here. Everything might be in my mother's name, but I've always been the one to pay them. As long as I write the account numbers on the check, no one has a problem with me paying them because they're getting paid and that's all these companies care about at the end of the day.

I highlight the hours I have for tutoring Brock and Danny in my tutoring planner before marking them off in my other planner where I put my work hours and class schedule. I learned early on that it makes everything easier in my life if I'm completely organized and have my life mapped out so there's no surprises. Everything with Kash is the shit I don't like. I have no clue what's going on there and what he expects of me despite us talking about things. I guess we'll have to have another conversation at some point in time, but a large part of me doesn't want to have to spend time with him. Not that I'll get a choice in the matter soon though. Kash and I will be living together after we're married. No better time than to have a conversation than that I guess. It means we won't have to meet at school and have Marianna find out that I talked to him.

After getting everything taken care of, I make sure everything is put back in my bag and ready to go for tomorrow's classes. My planners are the last to go in my bag because I want to make sure they're there in case things change. Once I double check my bag, I get Vinnie ready for bed once again. I change him and get his bottle ready for him. Climbing up in my bed, I hold my brother close to me and feed him before covering him with his new blanket and putting him down in the crib for bed. Vinnie doesn't take long to go to sleep as usual. As long as his little belly is full, he goes to sleep quicker than any baby I've ever heard about. He's such a good baby.

My mother is still passed the fuck out from the drugs coursing through her body. It means we're safe for the night and I don't have to worry about some guy coming in during the middle of the night. She's in no shape to go out and find her next fuck so I can go to sleep knowing that the three of us will be the only ones in the house. The only thing I have to worry about right this second is making sure my mother doesn't ever find out I have money and how much is in either one of my accounts. Thankfully, the bank understands my need to have this a secret so I've used Mrs. Andrews' address for any bank communications to go to. I don't want to get my hopes up about things going good and remaining that way for the near future. However, for now I'm going to make sure that I let the good shit keep rolling over me because I never know when it's going to get yanked away again.