Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed

Arabella

EVERYTHING THAT'S BEEN thrown my way recently is making me completely overwhelmed. There's so much information and I'm not sure how I'm ever going to process it and make it make sense in my mind. No one has ever made me this overwhelmed in my entire life and it seems like something new gets added every single day. Especially when it comes to hearing about the latest antics of Marianna, Karmen, and Collette. Those three are out being horrible people to everyone. Well, not everyone. The female population on campus are their targets as they continue to push them away from the guys and beat the hell out of them because they feel they can and no one's doing anything to stop them. Yes, I could by telling someone what happened in the bathroom, but it would literally be my word against theirs and I don't like those odds. Despite Dean Maddison making sure I know that he's on my side along with Mr. Hayden. That's only two people compared to everyone in High Point.

I know Collette is living in our grandparents' mansion. One that she doesn't deserve to live in because it's mine. She doesn't give a fuck about that though. Even if she knew, she wouldn't do anything to move out of it. If anything, it would only put a target on my back even bigger than the one that's already there. So, for now I'm keeping my secrets very close and only a few people know what's going on. The only ones I'm not completely sure about knowing are the guys. Though, I can't expect Kash to keep something like that to himself. He would've told the guys before anyone else and that's to be expected when they're so close to one another. I could easily see them sharing everything between them.

Anyway, Collette has been having parties in our grandparents' mansion on a regular basis. I've heard talk about them around campus. I'm surprised it hasn't been burnt to the ground with how out of control the parties have gotten. When I finally kick her out, I know it's going to be a pain in the ass to clean the entire place up and make sure nothing has been stolen while she's been drunk or high. Yeah, she's doing drugs and that's one of the reasons she wants to get her hands on the money my grandparents left behind so bad. From what I hear, she owes more than one person money and it's just a matter of time before they come after what they're owed. Her problem and nothing to do with me though. All I want is to figure out how to get her removed from the mansion before it's completely destroyed and unrepairable.

Brock has been invited to every single party she's thrown at the mansion. He refuses to go every single time. I've even heard the guys don't attend them even though they're expected to show up. Most of the guys who show up are ones waiting to get fucked by the horrible girls and those from other towns surrounding High Point. She doesn't give a fuck about the mansion and preserving any part of it because it was our grandparents. The sooner I can get her the fuck out of there, the easier I'll be able to breathe. However, I don't think I can do anything until Kash and I are married and protection plans for both of us are put in place to ensure no one takes what they don't deserve. Not just Collette, but his father, and others in his life as well.

I've contacted Mrs. Donovan about drawing up a prenuptial agreement for us to sign and she's going to let me know the second it's ready for us. We'll go to her office, read through everything, and sign the papers in front of her. She'll make sure they're filed and we'll both get a copy of them. I'll keep mine in the lock box at the bank with the rest of the important papers I've been given. Then, I can hopefully talk to Kash about getting my cousin out of the fucking mansion so we can get it taken care of for us to live in. That's the one stipulation of our marriage that he won't budge on. Kash and I will live in my grandparents' mansion after we're married. Since we won't be sharing anything but his last name, Kash will take the third floor bedrooms while I take the second floor for Vinnie and myself. We'll hardly come into contact with one another if I have my way.

"Arabella, there you are," Brock says as I sit in our study room at the library and he enters it before closing the door behind him. "I've been searchin' all over campus for you. Even tried callin' and messagin' you."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I turn the phone on silent when I'm at school or work. If I'm home, I keep it in my bag. Since I've never had a phone before, it's easy to forget about. I'm sorry you were looking all over for me. I've been in here working on the last paper I have to write for English. I want to get it to Mr. Hayden before the end of the week," I tell him as he sits down across from me and sets his bag on the table in front of him.

"You look even more pale than normal, Arabella. Are you feelin' okay?" he questions me, leaning back in his chair as he continues to stare at me.

"I'm okay. Sleep hasn't been easy the last few weeks. I spend more time laying in bed thinking about all this shit than actually sleeping. By the time I do manage to close my eyes, it's time to get up and get ready for school before making sure Vinnie is taken care of. I don't think I'll get a full night's rest again for a very long time," I tell him honestly, making sure I look at him so he knows I'm not lying about things.

"The bruisin' is startin' to fade to nothin'," he says, taking in the marks I still have on my face and neck from Marianna and Karmen. "Talk to me, Arabella. I know you keep your walls built up extremely high and you have every reason to do that. I'm not them. I'll keep your secrets safe and make sure no one finds out about what you've told me. I just want to help you."

"I know you do. It's just been myself I have to depend on for so long and I don't know how to let anyone else in so much these days. There's so much you don't know about me and I have a feeling it will change your opinion of me once you learn the truth. I won't blame you, please understand that," I tell him, my heart starts to beat faster as my breaths come out choppy sounding and sweat starts to bead on the back of my neck as it slowly rolls down my back.

"I get it, Arabella. But I can promise you that my opinion of you won't change at all if you let me in and help shoulder the burden of your life. You don't have to do this shit alone all the time. It's time you start to see what you have in your life and those that want to help you make it from one day to the next," Brock says, his voice a whisper as a loud commotion comes from outside the room we're studying in.

"I'm not going to get into the past years with you. Just know that my home life isn't a good one. Right now, I'm not even currently living with my mother. My brother and I are staying at our neighbor's house because she's the only one who helps me in any way. When I'm hurt, she bandages me up. If I need her to watch my brother, she does without hesitation. Now, she's letting us live in her home because of how horrible things are at my own house. There's never a second of peace there and she's got a rotating door of men coming in at all times. Not a good environment at all," I begin talking as Brock leans closer to me so he can hear what I'm telling him as shrieks and yells come from outside the room very faintly. Someone is not happy at all and I have a feeling I know who it involves. "Anyway, now, I've got information being dumped on me almost daily and I have no clue how to process everything I'm being told by so many different people."

"Start breakin' it down for me, Arabella. Let's start with the first conversation you had with Kash. I know he gave you a copy of the will that was buried deep belonging to your grandparents. You've inherited their mansion, a shitload of money, and all of their assets. All of that I understand. I'd be completely overwhelmed if I were you and I'm used to havin' a ton of money at my disposal. Eventually we'll come back to what goes on at your mother's house to make you feel so fuckin' unsafe. I'm not gonna forget about that shit for a second. So, get that out of your mind right now. Now, I know you're gonna marry Kash. He seems like the safest bet out of all the guys. What do you feel about that situation?" Brock questions me, his voice still a whisper so no one else overhears us.

"I don't honestly know. If things hadn't happened the way they did all those years ago, I would be happy as hell about this happening. Now, it's the last thing I want to do. I've already told him I won't trust him and that our marriage will be in name only. I mean after we have sex to consummate the wedding that is. There's two problems I have with that aspect of the entire situation though. First of all, I'm obviously a virgin and have no clue what I'm getting into when it comes to sex. Secondly, when we have sex after getting married, someone has to watch us to prove that it did indeed happen. I'm not ready to have sex in front of anyone else no matter what the circumstances are," I tell Brock, leaning even closer to him from my spot at the other side of the table from him.

"That's a tough one. Who are you gonna have in the room with you two?" he asks, not even touching on the fact that I'm still a virgin which I'm grateful about.

"I don't know. I told Kash he could take care of all the details and choose who's there to witness the ceremony and then afterwards. He can choose any one of the guys to watch us. At this point, I don't even have a preference because I don't want anything to do with any of the guys for any reason," I inform him, my voice coming out brokenly because the thought of anyone else being in the room when I have sex for the first time is something I don't know how to feel about.

"Is there a single one of the guys you'd rather not have watch the two of you have sex over the others? I mean if you could choose one of them to not be in the room no matter how Kash felt about it, who would it be?" he questions me, a serious look on his face as he tries to figure out how to talk to me about this.

"Honestly, I don't feel any different about one guy over another. They all turned their backs on me for whatever reason and have done nothing to help me since then. Now, I'll be around them all the time after I marry Kash. That's about the only thing I've come to terms with about this entire situation. Kash will be on the third floor of the mansion, but the guys will be over all the time. It's inevitable that we run into one another. I'm just not ready to see them or have to spend any time around them," I state, looking away as someone lands hard against the door of the room we're in causing me to jump in surprise as I place my hand against my chest.

"Okay. Personally, I've had sex in front of other people before. It can go one of two ways. Either you'll find you enjoy it, or you won't be able to follow through with things. Don't let Kash or anyone else pressure you into doin' somethin' you don't want to do. I enjoy havin' sex in front of others in certain circumstances. It can make everythin' feel better and be better because you want to put on a show for whoever's in the room with you. Kash will be the one who has to keep you focused on him and only him. He'll need to ensure you don't let your focus stray to the other person in the room. Though, I think you'll find Kash isn't as experienced as what you think or have heard," Brock says, his voice going even lower as he drops that piece of information on me. "Movin' on. What else has you overwhelmed?"

"I don't know what's gonna happen once Kash and I are married. Marianna is going after anyone who even looks in his direction and I've already had the displeasure of meeting her. Once she learns of the wedding between Kash and myself, I don't see things going good for me at all. The target I have aimed at me will only get larger. Karmen and Collette won't be any better either because I'll have the guys around me even more than I currently do. Karmen's always bitching about me staying away from them. I'm never around them. This is going to go to hell quicker than anything else I've ever experienced in my life," I tell my friend as he listens to me and tries to come up with a solution for this part of the situation.

"What about havin' a security detail on you at all times? I know you don't want that around the campus, but it might be the only solution for this particular problem. If you have security with you for a while, no one will be able to get close to you when you're here. You have to start protectin' yourself, Arabella if you want to be there for your brother. Karmen and those other sluts aren't gonna back off for any reason," he says as if I'll actually get a security detail once I take over everything and kick Collette out of the mansion.

"That's something I'll have to think about. I promise I'll take it into consideration and talk to the security team once I take over at the mansion. Which leads me to worry about how to get Collette out of there. I know she's going to put up a fight and won't leave without destroying it more than she already has. I don't think I'll be able to do anything about her until Kash and I are married. Then I can get her out when she's not there or something and make sure the guards at the gate know they aren't to let her back in for any reason. We'll probably have to contact the police department to have them there so she doesn't try to do anything too horrible. It's all just so completely up in the air and I can't stand that shit."

"I'll help you get that bitch out of your grandparents' mansion the second it's time for you to do that. In fact, I'll take great pleasure in dumpin' all of her shit outside so she can't get back inside the mansion. You deserve this, Arabella. I know you don't trust Kash or the rest of the guys, but they might surprise you. For now, we'll talk a little bit every day until you have everythin' straight in your mind. Until then, try to keep your head up and just keep doin' what you've been doin'. I'll always be here for you, Arabella. That won't ever change no matter what happens," Brock says, reaching out and putting his hand on my arm before quickly pulling it away and back on his side of the table where it was.

With a nod of my head, I go back to working on the paper I started before Brock showed up. We both work in companionable silence for a while. When it comes time for me to check over his math work, I'm very happy to see that he's done every problem correctly and doesn't need my help with anything for this lesson. He smiles big when I push his notebook back across the table toward him and I don't say anything about what he's done. There's pure excitement filling his eyes and I know he's truly happy with the fact that he didn't need me to correct anything he did today. I understand how he feels. It's been a long time since I've had it, but it's one of the best feelings in the world to finally get something you've been struggling with for so long.

By the time we leave the library, everything outside the study room we've been in is quiet. The guys are sitting at a table close to the room we've been locked in. They all look up at me and I quickly avert my eyes from them so they don't know that we've just been talking about them. There are no groupies hanging around today, but that doesn't mean the girls weren't here before we came out. I have a very strong feeling they were the ones creating the noise and chaos as I tried to talk to Brock about things. Brock leads me from the library without a word and takes me to the gate of the campus so I can head to Mrs. Andrews' house. After telling him goodbye, I leave feeling a little lighter than before we talked. I know it won't last, but I'll take whatever speck of happiness I can get for now.