First Day

First Day

Arabella

TODAY'S THE FIRST day I'll be on the campus of High Point University. Nerves fill me at the thought of being so close to those who have turned their back on me for the last eight years. People in town who once talked to me, the kids I played with, and the family I used to have. Now, I'm all alone. I've got my mother, though I'm nothing more than her punching bag and the person she uses to take out all of her anger, defeat, and withdrawals on. The only other person in my life is my baby brother, Vinnie. He's my entire world, and I don't know where he'd be if it weren't for me. Everything I do is for him and no one else. Ever.

However, before I can go to school, I have to take care of my brother and somehow manage to walk to the campus earlier than my first class. I received an email about a meeting with the Dean before my classes begin. I'm not sure why it couldn't have been done when I was there for orientation, but I'm not the one who sets up the meetings. So, I've gotten up even earlier than expected in order to get myself ready before waking Vinnie up. I've got to bathe and change him before making sure he has breakfast. I'm not about to send him to Mrs. Andrews without having his breakfast. She already does so much for us.

Mrs. Andrews is our neighbor. She's literally the only person in town who talks to me. She also can't stand my mother. Between the men coming through the house as if we have a rotating door, the drugs and alcohol, and knowing I'm the only one who takes care of anything, Mrs. Andrews refuses to have anything to do with my mother. I can't honestly say I blame her, either. If I were old enough and in a position to take my brother out of the house, I would in a heartbeat. There's no thinking about leaving. The only reason I'm still here is because of Vinnie. He needs me and I'm not going to give up on him. I'll never make him feel as if he doesn't mean the world to me.

Racing around the house, I make sure my bag's packed and ready to go while putting Vinnie's bottle in to heat. By the time I have him bathed and dressed for the day, his bottle will be cool enough for him to drink. I usually use a small amount of his formula to mix up his cereal. With no guidance from anyone as to how to take care of my baby brother, I've had to learn through trial and error. My only hope is that he doesn"t hate me when he gets older. That he realizes how much I've sacrificed and done for him in order to protect him from our abusive mother.

Vinnie and I share a room in the small, rundown house. Walking inside, I take in the peeling paint, messed up carpeting, and everything else we're lacking in the house because there's simply no money for us to make any repairs. Hell, the landlord can't be bothered to come here unless it's to collect the rent on a monthly basis. If I even attempt to call him for anything being wrong, I never hear back from him. It's as if he doesn't realize he's supposed to ensure the houses and apartments he rents out remain in livable conditions. Just one more thing to be angry about while not being able to change it.

Walking over to the crib I've pushed up against the wall as far from the window as I can get it, I take a second to just look at Vinnie. He's so sweet and innocent, not having any prejudices or hatred filling his heart. I hope he always remains this way while I know it's not a realistic thought. I finally reach in to pull back the blanket covering his body. Vinnie flinches at the chill in the air of our room. Lifting him in my arms, I let him snuggle into me as I rush to the bathroom. Grabbing the baby tub Mrs. Andrews got him, I set it in the tub before turning on the water to just above lukewarm and undressing Vinnie. The cool air chills his little body as I watch goosebumps break out over his pale skin.

"I'm so sorry, baby. If I could make it warmer in here, I would," I whisper to him, not wanting to wake up my mother on the off chance she's actually here.

Not wanting to get Vinnie sick, I quickly bathe him and wrap him up in a warm, fuzzy towel I managed to snag from the second-hand store in town. I can barely see his eyes as I rush back to our room and get him dressed. I've gotten good enough to have his morning routine down to a matter of minutes so I can get him as warm as possible before taking him outside and next door. I'm thankful Mrs. Andrews' house has good heating for these chilly mornings before the sun can warm the world around us up.

Feeding Vinnie his cereal after making his bottle, I lay him back in the crib with the bottle so I can make sure his diaper bag is ready to go and double check my bookbag one more time. I'm very anal about being over-prepared for class and when it comes to Vinnie. I'd rather overpack for him than have missed putting in something crucial Mrs. Andrews will need while taking care of him for me. I don't ever want to have our neighbor spend money she doesn't have to because I was in a hurry or simply didn't think about something my brother would need while he's in her care.

With my baby brother done eating and me going through everything again, I grab his winter jacket that's seen better days and get Vinnie bundled up in it. His jacket is so threadbare it doesn't really do much to ensure he's warm and protected from the chill in the air. I don't have the money to get him something new right now though. Our mother once again stole my money and I have nothing left. Vinnie needs things and now has to go without once again. I'm going to have to get a second job just to keep money in my possession so he has what he needs.

After getting Vinnie bundled up, I grab his diaper bag and my bookbag. Slinging both of them over my shoulders, I wince as they pull down on the bruising and cuts I've got on my body from the latest attack my mother launched against me. There are cuts on my neck, face, chest, and shoulders from her. The bruising is in the same spots and there's no way for me to cover them up. I don't have make-up because it's so expensive and I wouldn't know how to put it on anyway, and trying to wear clothing to cover my face would only make me stand out even more. I want to do nothing more than blend in and remain anonymous this year.

Grabbing Vinnie, I make my way silently out of the house and over to Mrs. Andrews' house. She's already waiting for me with the door open as I step up on her rickety porch.

"Good morning, Arabella. Are you excited for your first day of college?" she asks as I walk in her house and turn to face her.

"I am. But, I'm also nervous. I can't thank you enough for watching Vinnie while I go to school and work," I tell her, a smile on my face as she finally gets the door shut and turns to face me.

"Dear, what happened to you?" she gasps while reaching out to touch my face and neck where the marks are. "Did she do this to you again?"

Mrs. Andrews knows what I suffer through in that house. The only reason she hasn't done anything about it is because I know if we're removed from my mother's care, I'll most likely be separated from Vinnie. No one wants the girl who hasn't been eighteen for all that long. They love babies and someone will immediately take my baby brother in. I don't have the means to take care of him and live on our own. If I did, I'd have already done something about it. We wouldn't be in a house that's falling down around us, has barely any heat, and dealing with my mother's addiction, men constantly coming in, and everything else. It's hell and chaos on a good day and something much worse on the days my mother is out of her mind with the need for drugs.

"I'm okay, Mrs. Andrews. It looks worse than it is. I've got to get going or I won't make my meeting with the Dean. I'm sure it's about tutoring, but I can't risk it being something more," I tell her, trying to brush off her concern about the marks on my body.

"Okay, Arabella. Do you have to work after school today?" she questions, changing the subject, much to my relief.

"Not today. I've got it off since it's the first day of classes. I do have to work the rest of the week though," I answer her, handing over my brother and then the diaper bag.

"Sounds good. You focus on school. I've got Vinnie. We're gonna have a fun day today," she says, smiling down at my brother.

With a final kiss to Vinnie's cheek, I let Mrs. Andrews know he's had his cereal already, and I just bathed and changed him. Going back outside, I pull my thin coat tighter around me in an attempt to be warm on my walk to school. It doesn't work, but there's nothing I can do to help it. The zipper broke a long time ago and it's so thin now that I might as well not be wearing anything at this point. Keeping my head down, I head out of the poor section of town and make my way toward High Point University. It's going to be a cold, hard walk but I'm used to it. This is my life and I don't see it changing any time soon.

***

I'm freezing by the time I get to school. I wouldn't be surprised if my hair broke off in a chunk because it started raining when I was about halfway here. Everything from the top of my head to the tips of my toes is completely soaked and ready to fall off. Still, I push forward and head straight for the administrative offices. That's where the Dean's office is located. I've only been there once, but I memorized the layout of campus when I was here for orientation. I don't want to have to walk around with my face buried in a map of campus because that means people can sneak up on me and attack when I'm not paying attention to my surroundings.

There are students rushing from the dorms to various buildings. Most of them are in small groups talking and laughing as they head to class, for a cup of coffee, or to grab some breakfast to start their day. I don't have time for any of that. Nor do I have the money to buy coffee, eat something, or anything else they offer on campus. And I sure as hell don't have any friends here to talk and laugh with. Share stories about what we did over our summer vacation. All I did was work and take care of my brother. I'm alone in the world and the only attention paid to me is when I'm being bullied.

That's about the only thing I was thankful for over the last two months. I didn't have to really see anyone from school. My bullies were all off partying and doing whatever it is they do when they're not forced to sit in school or making my life a living hell. Yes, I did see some of them at work, but most of them were out of town or doing other things to worry about coming into Slice of Heaven. It's the local pizza shop where I work as often as I can. When I wasn't at work, my time was spent at home with Vinnie. The only time we left was to go to the park. It's not the greatest place, but it's better than staying home and getting my ass beat or listening to our mother fuck her latest conquest.

Opening the main door of the administrative building, I quickly make my way to the Dean's office. It's at the back of the building straight ahead of me. There are more students walking around in here going to various other offices. I can only guess they're trying to get their schedules changed, meeting with counselors, and trying to finalize last minute details of their college path. I made sure to do that at orientation so I didn't have to come back here again and leave Vinnie with Mrs. Andrews. I don't like taking advantage of her kindness and willingness to watch him while I'm busy.

Letting Dean Maddison's secretary know I'm here, she assures me he'll be with me as soon as he can. I take a seat across from her desk to wait for him. Since it's the first day of classes, he's already busy. Plus, I'm sure most of the students finished moving into their dorms over the past weekend. Just because I wasn't here to witness everything going on, doesn't mean I don't have an imagination and can understand what campus must have been like over the last few weeks since it opened its gates. I'm sure there was chaos as everyone moved in and tried to get settled while developing new friendships or finding those they've known for years.

"Miss Moore, it's so good to see you," Dean Maddison says, opening his door and waiting for me to stand from the seat against the wall.

Dean Maddison isn't quite six feet tall. He's got short gray hair, the brightest blue eyes that are completely crystal clear, and a neatly trimmed beard. The few times I've seen him on campus, he's always wearing a suit that looks as if he just put it on. There are no wrinkles, stains, or anything covering the rich material. And, he's always smiling. I don't think I've ever seen the man without a smile on his face so far. I'm sure it happens, but it's not normal for him. He actually makes me feel at ease with how genuine and open he appears to be. It's rare for me to feel like that around anyone since losing my dad.

I take the seat across the desk from Dean Maddison as he sits down and pulls a folder in front of him. Opening it up, he scans a few papers inside before closing it once more and linking his fingers together in front of him.

"Miss Moore, it seems you were quite an excellent student in high school. Not only did you have the highest GPA in your class, but you work an almost full-time job, take care of your brother, and tutor other students during the day. I honestly don't know how you get everything done," Dean Maddison praises me as a blush covers my skin from the praise I'm not used to receiving from anyone lately.

"I don't have any other choice but to get everything done. I don't have to just consider myself when I'm thinking out what I'm going to do or what needs to be done," I tell him honestly as he stares at the cuts on my face.

"I see. You know I'm here for you to talk to about anything at all. It doesn't have to be school related. I can help in all sorts of situations or find someone who knows what to do," Dean Maddison states as he continues to stare at me, that knowing look in his eyes as he takes in the damage that's been done to me by my mother.

"I'm okay. I had an accident because I'm so clumsy. It's not a big deal," I lie to him, averting my eyes so he doesn't see the lie.

No, I'm not a good liar and I know this. I hate having to lie to anyone, but the reason for my cuts and bruises isn't something I'll willingly share with anyone. The less attention I'm paid, the better I'll be because I refuse to leave my brother alone in this world if I don't have to. Every single beating and ounce of pain I feel is worth it to ensure Vinnie is protected and I can watch over him.

"Well, I wanted to sit down and talk to you about tutoring students here," Dean Maddison says, changing the conversation and making me happy. "I have a student already that needs help in math in order to stay on the football team. He just transferred here from New York and needs the extra help in math and English. Do you think you'll be able to fit him into your schedule?"

"Since this is just starting for me, I don't see why I wouldn't be able to help him out. I don't know how I'd contact him about setting up a meeting though," I say, unsure if I'm happy about this or wanting to have time to get in a routine before I start tutoring anyone.

"He's actually supposed to be here any second. I'll introduce the two of you and you can take it from there. Now, I know in high school you didn't get paid for the help you gave other students. That's not the case here. You are more than welcome to charge for helping anyone you tutor. The price is up to you. If someone doesn't want to pay it, you don't have to work with them. Everything is your decision to make, Miss Moore," Dean Maddison assures me as if he knows that nothing in my life is my decision any longer.

"Thank you," I say just as a knock sounds on the door.

Dean Maddison gets up and answers it. Turning in my seat, I find a very good looking guy standing in the doorway. He looks at me with a smile on his face. His smile lights up the room but I don't feel any flutters or anything. When I get just a glimpse of the guys who shall not be named, they make me feel things I didn't believe I'd ever feel when it comes to guys. He's over six feet tall and muscles for days. I've never seen a guy with so many muscles in my life. Especially not someone in college. There's also tattoos on his tan skin where his tee-shirt doesn't cover his arms. Though, it's his eyes that suck me in. This guy has light gray eyes that are almost silver. I've never seen a person with the same color eyes as him. I can't pull myself away from staring at them.

"Miss Moore, I'd like to introduce you to Brock Hopkins. Mr. Hopkins, this is Arabella Moore. Based on her transcripts, I believe she'd be the best person to help you. I know classes are just starting today, but your assessments weren't good in math and English and we need to keep you passing if you want to remain on the football team," Dean Maddison explains to us while leading Brock in the room as they both take seats.

"I'll take all the help I can get. Math and English have always been my problem classes," Brock says, offering me another smile.

"Well, I can help you with those. Um, I don't know how this is supposed to work here with everything else I have going on outside of classes," I tell him, trying not to stare in his eyes again.

"Whenever you have the time we can meet and go over whatever you feel I need to work on. Are there certain days that work better for you?" Brock returns, not once losing the smile.

"Not really. The only time I can meet is between classes here. I have long breaks on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Other than that I have early days and won't be on campus once my last class is done for the day. We can meet in the library for your sessions," I say, looking at the Dean for confirmation.

"Yes. The library has study rooms that are private and you won't be disturbed," he informs us. "You are welcome to reserve one for each semester so that no one is allowed to be in there during the times you've got it reserved. If you want to do that today for the semester, you should. That way you always know there's a room available and you don't have to contend with other students in the rest of the library."

"Sounds good to me. As long as your break is earlier in the day, I can make those days work. I have practice every day and games on the weekends. The only time I won't be able to make a Thursday session is if we have to travel out of town for a game. Other than that, I'd like to book all three days with you. At least until you feel I don't need as much help. I'll pay whatever you want. By the hour or session. It doesn't matter to me. I just want to play football and I'm willin' to put in the hard work needed to pass these classes," Brock says, not losing his smile as he remains looking at me.

This guy must be the happiest person in the world. Or he's a very good actor. I can't figure out why he'd be smiling at me for any reason. If he plays football, that means he knows three of the jerks I used to call my best friends. I'm sure they've all talked shit about me as normal. I've heard it all. Not directly from them because that would mean having to get close. Something I vowed I'd never do again.

"Okay."

Pulling out my schedule I show it to Brock and we plan on meeting today in the library as soon as I'm done with my second class of the day. He's also got a break and will have both classes before we meet. It will give me a chance to go over the syllabus and find out if he's been given any homework in the class. If he has, we can work through it and I can figure out what his main problem areas are. Filling him in on this, he agrees and we both stand, saying goodbye to the Dean, before leaving the office.

Brock remains at my side as we make our way to our first classes. He only leaves when his building comes into view. With a hesitant wave to him, I make my way into my own class to start my day. I'm already exhausted and ready for a nap. Unfortunately, I don't see one happening for me anytime soon.