41. Chapter 41

Dante

After guiding Jade to a more private room of the house, we sit with each other, and I just come out with it, starting the conversation. There are so many things I want to say to her, but more than anything, I need to ensure that she's okay. Speaking from experience, having a kid at eighteen, let alone twins… it's a lot to handle. Especially when you grow up without much of a childhood.

"Jade, why didn't you tell me you were interested in pursuing a relationship with Dmitri when it first happened?" The guilt that paints her expression at my question hurts her, I can see that much.

"I wanted to tell you," she says, words firm like a vow.

"But?"

"I'd never had a real crush before," she continues, cheeks turning pink with embarrassment. "When I found out Dmitri was interested in me too, all I could think about was my brothers finding out and ruining it."

She takes a deep breath, and I wait for her to continue.

"I didn't want them to keep me away from him, or worse, hurt the first guy who I really, really liked. So we started sneaking around, and eventually, the secrets started building and building. And then I was pregnant; there was no way I could tell you?—"

"Did he tell you that you couldn't tell me?" I ask, trying to simmer my demanding tone. My daughter has already gone through too much stress in the past week, and I refuse to add to it if I can help it.

"No, no," Jade rushes out worriedly. "He wanted to tell everyone immediately. It's just… I was scared."

My chest gives in with a crack. "Of me?"

"Dad, no," she whispers sadly. "Not of you, but of disappointing you. Or, I don't know." Picking at her nails, she considers how she wants to communicate her feelings. "I just felt like emailing my father that I got pregnant the first time ever leaving the house by a man he doesn't even know I'm dating would suck. I didn't want you to think I'm irresponsible or misinterpret what I say and think I needed help."

She didn't want me to read the word pregnant and hop on a plane to get her and kill the man responsible. I can't be mad at her for rational thought, and that's what this seems to be. My daughter is wise beyond her years, and I shouldn't be shocked that she thought to tell Apollo before telling me.

"I thought waiting to tell you in person was best, but then everything got crazy so fast, and the next thing I know I'm on a plane with Apollo and he's telling me that he already spilled the beans."

That boy is responsible for nearly every single one of my gray hairs, but I couldn't possibly ask for a better future leader for this family. I've known that for a while, but watching him interact with Jade and how he's handled this situation has only cemented it further. Apollo will be the best Capo the outfit has ever seen, there's no question.

"It's not the future I would have crafted for you, given the chance," I tell her calmly. Her lips shift into a slight frown, and I wish I could get this out faster. "But if this man treats you right and you love him, I won't stand in your way."

Jade lets out a relieved breath. "Are you saying that because I'm pregnant or would you trust that I love him even if there were no babies?"

"It would be much more begrudgingly without them," I admit, unwilling to lie. "But I would still accept your choice, sweetheart."

Her smile grows substantially. "Really?"

"Being a father, as I've learned, is about giving your children as many opportunities as you can. What they do with what they're given isn't meant to be controlled. It's your life, Jade. I'm here to make sure you stay safe, healthy, and happy. Outside of that, it's not my job to direct you, as hard as that may be."

My daughter nods, breathing out. "When I first got here, Matteo said you've always wanted a girl. Is that true?"

A tricky question.

"I've always loved my boys," I preface quickly. "I've never wished they were anything other than who they are. But yes, I always hoped that I'd have a girl as well. Daughters are a gift, just as much as sons are." Maybe even more.

Her lower lip pushes out, eyes softening as she takes in the information. "I always wanted a dad," she admits. "I used to ask about you."

"Sweetheart." I don't know what to say because how can you make up for almost eighteen years of absence? If I knew about her, I'd have come for her.

No questions asked.

"Remember when we talked about my nose?" she asks, a guilty look creeping up on her face. A horrible feeling spreads in my stomach like I know what she's going to say before she says it. I can just feel it's going to hurt.

I nod, attempting to remain calm.

"I'm sorry I lied," she whispers, voice haunted and hollow. "I wasn't really five, I was three, an?—"

"You didn't fall," I finish for her, knowing it must be true despite how badly I want it not to be.

"That was the first time I really cried for you," she whispers. "At the hospital, I was screaming for my dad, but Kim just told them I didn't have a dad, and I hit my head too hard, so I was confused."

She cried for me. At three years old, she was broken, bleeding, and scared, and I couldn't be there for her. I could fucking hang that demented cunt for touching my daughter, and I will never be able to get over that. Time was stolen from us in a way that can't truly be made up for.

Fuck if I'm not going to try my damndest at it, though.

"I'm so glad I met you," she bursts out, tears pricking behind her eyes in a blink. "Life is so meaningless without this family. You ch-changed everything for me."

Fucking hell, I'm about to cry in front of my kid.

"Jade—" I croak, coughing to clear my throat of incoming emotion. "There isn't a day that's passed since finding you that I haven't thought about how angry I am with myself. I should have never?—"

She sniffles, wiping at her wet eyes.

"I should have checked on your mother after our encounters ended. I'd gotten Alina pregnant with condoms before, and I shouldn't have assumed that it would never happen again. You should have grown up here. I should have held you, raised you, and lived with your laughter and cries filling this house. I should have?—"

"S-stop," she speaks up. "It's okay, Dad. I'm here now."

Water rolls down my cheek, and I shake my head. "It"s not okay, Jade. What you went through in that house…" It gives me a stomachache just to think about it. "I could have prevented it. I was irresponsible, and you paid the price."

"It wasn't your fault," she insists. "I could never blame you."

I'll blame me enough for the both of us. "Regardless of blame, I'll spend the rest of my life making up for missing so much of yours."

This is a promise I will never break. Not even death will take away my ability to keep my daughter happy. If I leave this earth before making up for lost time, my sons will fill in for me.

"You've already made up for it," she whispers, composing herself. "I used to think that maybe I would be able to escape that town and make a better life for myself. I imagined working at a diner for shit pay and getting a roommate to share a tiny apartment with. Or somehow managing a scholarship to college."

Not making me feel better with those options, sweetheart.

"But that"s what I imagined for myself before you blew every dream out of the water in a matter of days. Overnight, I had a family, money, comfort, and the ability to live in a way that I thought only movie stars experienced. I didn't have the best time growing up, but trust me when I say it's been more than worth it. I would do it all over a hundred times just to be right back where I am right now, and it would still be worth it."

My kind-hearted daughter offers me a sliver of relief from my constant ache. What should be an impossible task is made to look easy by my youngest child.

"You're incredible, Jade," I say firmly. "And if you ever are scared or embarrassed or worried about telling me something ever again, just remember that. You're incredible at eighteen and pregnant, and you'll be incredible ten, twenty, thirty years from now. Nothing is going to change the love I have for you. Nothing."

She nods, throat dipping with a swallow. "I'm so happy we had this talk."

"Me too, sweetheart," I say, opening my arms. "Come here."

Damp cheeks hit my chest as my daughter hugs me, tightly wrapping her arms around my back. "Are you going to be nicer to Ivan now?" she asks, the question muffled into my shirt.

"I'm working on it," I answer, meaning it. Since discovering that he isn't actually attempting to get his hands on my daughter in her time of need, it's been easier to tolerate his face.

"And you won't tell anyone what you figured out, right? I know you'd never out him on purpose, but literally, no one knows."

"He hasn't told his brother?" I ask, genuinely surprised.

There aren't many things I keep from my brother, and my sons are all the same way. Granted, some of them have closer relationships than others, but they each have someone to confide in.

"But he told you?"

Jade nods. "He's worried that Dmitri might share some pretty disgusting views that their great-grandfather had," she tells me quietly. "It's hard to tell him there's nothing to worry about when he's so wary. Like, I know Dmitri isn't like that. But it's not my place to insist on it, if Ivan wants to be careful, it's his choice."

I grunt in understanding. A lot of older, more conservative ways of thinking aren't uncommon in our world. But Ivan has nothing to fear with The Outfit, and Jade is a good judge of character. I hope that she's right because if her husband says a word against Nico or Armani, I'll destroy him.

Clearing my throat, I wipe my clammy palms on my pants. "I found something while you were gone, and I didn't know if you wanted to see it or not."

I debated for a long time about even bringing it up to her. Jade still hasn't opened up about all of her childhood, and I know Kim was monstrous toward her. The Kim I knew… I can't imagine her having such a dark side. If it weren't for my own daughter telling me otherwise, I don't know that I could believe it.

Kim was sweet. She was gorgeous and funny, a light in the shadows of a very rough time for me. I'd never cheated on Alina, but after Matteo was born, we were essentially divorced. She didn't want any more children, and despite how it may look, children were all she wanted me for. Alina didn't have an ounce of love for me, and it never hurt like it did the night she told me to find someone else to entertain myself with.

I met Kimberly Donovan that night, working at a twenty-four-hour diner, and our affair lasted three months. She wasn't a one-night stand, but she also didn't want to be with me forever. I couldn"t divorce Alina, and she wouldn't be the other woman. I couldn't even blame her.

"What is it?" Jade wonders.

"You don't have to see it," I preface carefully. "But I found an old picture of Kim and me. If my math is correct, she may be pregnant with you in it?—"

"I want to see it," she cuts in immediately.

"She was horrible to you," I vocalize, letting her know that I haven't forgotten as I hold back my anger. "I don't want you to think I'm showing you this so you'll see her in a new way, I just want to give you a look into the past. If you want it."

"I want it," she repeats firmly. "Please, Dad?"

"Okay," I agree, pulling a worn envelope from the inside of my sport's coat pocket. Breathing out, I open it with steady hands, pulling out a nearly twenty-year old photo.

Jade scooches closer, leaning over to get a closer look. The photo isn't too blurry for being as old as it is. It's just Kim and I at the diner, standing together under a neon sign. She's smiling with her hair in a ponytail while I'm looking off to the side, having been distracted by Cesar.

My daughter scrunches her nose, squinting her eyes to get a good look.

"This is where she used to work?—"

"That's not Kim," she declares, cutting me off.

My head rears back in shock at her confidence. "Yes, it is. It was a long time ago, I'm sure she looks different?—"

"No," Jade repeats, shaking her head. "Whoever this is sort of looks like her, I guess. But Kim has a small gap between her front teeth, and she has pin-straight hair."

Kim has never had a gap in her teeth, they were naturally straight. I'd never seen her hair straight, either. It's always been borderline curly, like Jade's.

"This is Kimberly Donovan," I reiterate. "You can see, her name tag says Kim."

"Dad," she says more forcefully. "I'm telling you, I've never seen this woman before."

A sick feeling of unease creeps into my gut. "What did you say she looks like?"

"Brown hair, gap between her two front teeth, straight shoulder-length hair, fake tanner, she has a little scar on her lip where it used to be pierced."

No. Fucking. Way.

My face must shift with the realization because Jade starts to look scared.

"What is it? What are you thinking about?"

"Kim didn't raise you," I let the words leave me, unable to lie. "Karina did."

"W-who?"

"Kimberly's sister," I grit out. "I don't know how or why, but Karina is exactly who you're describing."

Jade blinks, digesting the information.

"Kim and Karina hadn't spoken in five years when I met her. They were best friends as children, but Karina has always been insatiably jealous of Kimberly. I don't know how since they're twins."

There are so many fucking twins in my life. How does that even happen?

"Do you think Kim gave me to her?"

I really fucking doubt it.

"You don't," she mutters, expression falling. "Do you think Karina hurt her and took me? She took Kim's name and just… took me?"

"That seems like the most likely scenario, yes."

My control is hanging on by a thread, but I refuse to let Jade think she's the one upsetting me. She's done nothing wrong, she's just been lied to her entire life.

"So, my real mom could still be out there, right?" she asks, tucking her lip between her teeth. "Maybe?"

"I don't want to get your hopes up," I warn. "But I can tell you this much, I'm going to find out everything for you, Jade. I'm not going to stop until she pays for what she's done."

I'm going to have Karina wishing she was never born.