33. Guilt Overshadowing Love

Stassi

“ T here’s something I need to tell you. I’ve been going around and around about how I should put this out there, but there’s really no easy way. The truth is my father—he’s Martin Hewitt.”

Stassi waited for Sage to respond. Her brows furrowed, but she didn’t remark, good or bad. Stassi took a deep breath, waiting. Finally, Sage’s lips twitched. “Martin Hewitt? Am I supposed to know him?”

Stassi wanted to laugh. She was surprised, almost ready to laugh it off and say, nah, you wouldn’t run in the same circles. But she had gotten this far and needed to be completely honest. “He’s the owner of the hospital. Martin Hewitt. He owns a few hospitals in the area. And when I needed the job, he was there to make sure I had one.” She couldn’t even stop spewing out the words. Once the truth cascaded out of her, it was over. “I needed to tell you because I don’t want some false pretense that I got this job just because I’m the owner’s boss.”

Sage’s eyes narrowed. “False pretense? That’s exactly what you just said. You needed a job, and he got you one.” She shook her head. “So, your father is the reason our hospital is struggling. You said he had hit some bad investments, right?” Sage got up from the couch and began pacing. “What am I supposed to do with this information, Stassi? Am I supposed to be happy that the woman I love is the daughter of the man that doesn’t care about the workers?”

“What? No! And that’s not true.” Stassi jumped up from the couch. “He cares and will ultimately do something to save the hospital. I just felt guilty.”

Sage scoffed. “You felt guilty sleeping with me because you knew you were harboring this huge secret? Well, I’m damn sure you did feel guilty. But this isn’t going to ease your conscience, Stassi, because you just ruined everything. And you tore my heart into pieces. Congratulations. Are you happy and relieved that all the truth is out there? I need some air.” Sage turned on her heel and stormed out of her living room. Stassi held her breath, hearing the sound of the slamming door.

“Don’t go! Don’t go!” she called, but it was too late, Sage was probably halfway to the car by now, leaving Stassi unsure why she had felt the need to tell her everything. It didn’t make her feel better. It only tore them apart, and she wanted Sage to come back, so they could mend things.

The sound of a ringing bell echoed in the living room and Stassi glanced around. It almost sounded like a timer was about to go off, but she didn’t know where the sound was coming from. She just wanted Sage back in her arms.

“Stassi, your phone is ringing.” Sage shook her arm, gently. “Stassi!”

Stassi quickly sat up. She was back in Sage’s bedroom, the sun seeping through the window, and her phone rang from the nightstand. She looked over, and Sage stared at her expectantly. Stassi turned and checked the caller ID.

“It’s the hospital,” she mumbled. “Hello?”

“Hello, Stassi? It’s Missy. I’m sorry to bother you. I know you’re off today, but we have a bit of an emergency. There’s no one to work the reception desk. In a hurry, I must have forgot to schedule someone, but we’re booked with patients, and Olivia is the only therapist scheduled today. There’s no way she can check in with the patients and see them without getting totally stressed. Is there any way you could come in?”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Thank you! I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. See you soon!” Stassi disconnected the call and turned to Sage.

Sage groaned. “Do you have to?”

Stassi smirked. “They’re kind of running out of options; they have things spread so thin. But it’s alright, I could use the extra shift.” She tossed the covers back.

“I was hoping since we were both off today that we could just spend it together. I feel like we don’t get much time together, and it’s bumming me out.” Stassi stared forward, the dream intruding into her mind. She quickly went about grabbing her clothes while Sage continued, “I could take you to work, and then when I pick you up, we could go out to dinner or something.”

“You could, but I don’t know how long I’ll be there. I’ll just drive, and when I get off, we can figure out something.” She went to get off the bed when Sage grabbed her arm and pulled her down to greet her with a kiss.

“We could take a shower together.” Sage winked.

“I don’t think so. I’ll never get out of here. You just wait in bed, so I’m not tempted.” She jumped out of bed, grabbing the clothes she had just dropped. At that moment, she felt a tad awkward that she was standing naked in the bedroom and most likely being gawked at by Sage, but she didn’t dare turn around. If she did, she would be thrust back into the nightmare of Sage walking out on her. True, it was only a dream, but it felt so real.

She stepped into the warm shower and let it drown her for a minute as she closed her eyes and was forced to relive those short moments when she told her the truth and found out how it would feel if that was how Sage truly responded to it. She couldn’t go through that for real, even though she knew she had to eventually.

Sage stayed in the bedroom while Stassi took her shower. When Stassi got dressed and was about to head back to the bedroom to say goodbye, she heard movement in the kitchen. She peeked her head in and saw that Sage stood at the counter, likely whipping her up some breakfast.

“I really should get out of here.” Stassi shifted from one foot to the other.

Sage turned and frowned. “You can’t wait for me to fix you up something. You’re doing them a favor, and I just feel like you might as well take your sweet time.” Sage looked so sweet and sexy standing there and it took every ounce of Stassi’s strength not to run to her, tell her about the horrible dream, and beg her to forgive her for keeping it from her. She swallowed and just stayed where she was. Her feet glued to the floor.

“I’ll grab something from the cafeteria. They sounded like they were in a bind.” Stassi winced, realizing how stupid that sounded. They put themselves there. She understood that and this wasn’t like her, but the guilt slowly was eating away from the inside out.

“If that’s the way you feel.” Sage walked towards her and cupped Stassi’s chin in her palm. “I’ll be waiting for you when you get home.” She brushed her lips against Stassi. Home, it sounded so permanent and while the one word sounded simple, there wasn’t anything simple in that very second. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” Stassi quickly turned away, hurried from the kitchen, and grabbed her purse next to the front door. She escaped. She took in a deep breath and fell back against the apartment door. She wanted to stay there forever, just being lost in Sage’s eyes, where nothing could harm them. But life wasn’t always able to give you what you wanted. She pushed away from the apartment door and hurried down the stairs. It was much harder than that.

“Olivia will be with you one moment,” she said to one patient as she turned to work on the next. Missy was right, the floor was heavy with traffic. And Olivia was exhausted. It was evident with every patient she brought back into a room. “Your name and date of birth, please.” She typed in the information as fast as her fingers could take her. Since she didn’t start out the day, she had no charts pulled and felt like she was getting further and further behind schedule. “Take a seat and Olivia will be with you shortly.”

“Are you sure about that?” The man huffed. Stassi glanced out into the waiting room and cringed. Four patients were waiting on Olivia, and it was ridiculous that the hospital expected any department to work like this. She forced a smile and gave a slight nod, then jumped up and hurried to the record room.

She grabbed the charts for the next few patients and carried them out to the front desk, when she spotted Olivia. She was hidden in a hallway, her back against the wall. Her head was down, and the closer Stassi got, she swore she heard crying.

“Olivia?”

Olivia looked up. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes were definitely red. “I didn’t want anyone to see me like this.” She heaved a sigh. “I’m exhausted and feeling nauseous.” She covered her mouth and shook her head. “I don’t know how much more I can take of this.”

Stassi grimaced. “There’s a waiting room full of patients,” she began.

Olivia nodded. “I’m well aware.” Again, she covered her mouth. “I just found out I’m pregnant.”

Stassi’s eyes widened. She wanted to wrap her up in a hug, congratulate her, or tell her what a great mom she would make. But that didn’t change that time was ticking away from them and the patients would start leaving if someone didn’t check in on them.

“What can I do to help?” Stassi asked.

Olivia shrugged. “If I could go home, that’d be a start.” Stassi opened her mouth. There was only one chance of that happening. She pulled her phone out of her pocket as Olivia stared. It was the only thing that she could do. “Who are you calling?” She held up her finger.

“Hey, babe. When are you getting off?”

“If I only knew,” Stassi replied. “But I’m calling because Olivia isn’t feeling well, and we have a waiting room full of patients. Is there…”

“I’m on my way.” Sage hung up before Stassi could even thank her.

“Sage will come to relieve you. Do you think you could take care of the patients until she gets here, though?”

“Yes!” Olivia wrapped her arms around her. “Thank you so much, Stassi.”

Stassi shrugged. “Congrats on your pregnancy.” They both turned and hurried to the front desk, where another patient had come in to get checked in. “Name and date of birth,” she asked in greeting.

She thought being at the hospital, she would be able to keep some distance between her and Sage. The guilt from the fact that her father was Martin Hewitt had totally taken over her movements and she wasn’t sure how much longer she’d be able to hide in this fragile bubble of privacy.

Sage arrived at the hospital just a half an hour later and she greeted Stassi at the reception desk. “That was fast,” Stassi replied.

Sage shrugged. “I was happy to help. I just ran into Olivia, and she looked practically green, the poor girl.”

“She’s pregnant,” Stassi whispered.

Sage’s eyes lit up. “Then I guess she isn’t so poor after all.” She laughed. “Great reason to be sick, I’d say.” She grabbed a chart and called out her first patient. As she turned, she gave Stassi a wink before disappearing with the patient. Stassi sighed, her head a mess. Was that an insinuation about Sage wanting a family, full of love, a child, and a dog, perhaps? You’re getting way ahead of yourself. First you have to get through the omissions and lies. And that was a work in progress.