26. Accepting The Unknown

Sage

S age attempted to ignore Stassi when she went to the front desk after she rushed off. With Stassi, she didn’t like to dwell on the fact that Stassi had a modeling career that was outside of the hospital. She knew that everyone was and should have a life that didn’t involve LA County, but modeling wasn’t one of those jobs that Sage appreciated. She saw all models as self-absorbed. And there was a chance that she was also impulsive. Those that came from money, tended to have a lavish lifestyle that allowed them to jump whenever things got too difficult. If she continued a relationship with Stassi, perhaps she would find herself losing Stassi, the one woman she had opened up to since her previous failed relationship.

She checked the computer and saw her patient was in, she leaned against the nurse’s station and figured she’d give it some more time before she considered them a no-show. She would have normally liked to hang out the front desk, see if Stassi needed help with anything, or just be there to catch up on some deeper conversation. But not now. She heaved a sigh and reached for a magazine that one of the nurse’s had left behind. Glamour. She wasn’t the type to get caught up in fashion nonsense, hence another reason why she was always dodging that with Stassi. But if she had to kill time, she might as well do it.

She absentmindedly flipped through the pages. One page stood out, as the corner was bent down, as if it was the exact place someone had stopped. It fell open, and she stared at Stassi. She was smiling coyly, a bottle of perfume in her hand. The person staring back at her wasn’t the same person that Sage felt she had gotten to know. This person in the page was the typical model that Sage believed she would find in a magazine like that. It made Sage feel as though when Stassi got burned out, she would bolt.

“Just marked your last patient as a no-show.” Sage jerked and turned to where Stassi stood. “Unless you wanna give them five more minutes.” She shrugged. “Doesn’t much matter to me. Just thought I’d let you know. After all, you could possibly get out of here a few minutes early.”

“Right.” Sage glanced back at the picture. “No-show works,” she muttered. Stassi was beautiful. It was easy to understand that she had the skills to be a model. She flipped the magazine and showed it to Stassi. Stassi’s eyes narrowed in on it, and she made a slight cringy face.

She looked up. “Maybe I can see if I can get all my magazines banned from this hospital. It might make things easier.” The sarcasm was thick in her voice.

“I didn’t say that,” Sage argued.

Stassi shrugged. “It’s clear that’s how you feel, though. Every time I mention it, you grow cold.” She threw up her hands. “It’s who I am. I can’t even defend that.”

She started to turn, but Sage reached out and grabbed her arm, halting her. “But it’s not who you are. That’s why I don’t get it. The person I have gotten to know isn’t some self-centered woman that cares only about looks and what’s on the outside.”

“Oh yeah? Remember when I first started?”

Sage sighed. “But you’ve changed. I don’t think that’s the woman you are. I open up this cover, and I’m immediately tossed into think that maybe I’m wrong and I’ve been blinded. Or maybe I’m a fool.”

“A fool for what? Believing that I’m a good person?” Stassi shrugged. “Guess I can’t really try to convince you otherwise.”

“Stassi, that’s not what I’m saying. But who is the real Stassi?” When Stassi didn’t respond, Sage turned away and tossed the magazine back where she found it. “I’m struggling, here. On one hand I believe you are a good person. Then when I think about your modeling career, I question everything. I want to understand. Help me to understand. What do you love about it so much?”

Stassi hesitated, glancing off to the side, shuffling from one foot to the other. Sage simply waited. She wasn’t hypothetically asking the question. She needed answers.

Stassi glanced back and finally shrugged. “You want to know? You probably won’t understand, but I’ll tell you. Growing up, when I lost my mother, I lost sort of piece of who I was. My dad tried hard to be a great single parent. He did the best he could. Hell, he doesn’t get it either, but I took a chance. Out of high school, I went to college, did the typical business classes and I was bored by them. I needed something more. Modeling offered me that escape. Tomorrow, I’m set to do a print ad for a small boutique. It’s a mother/daughter photoshoot, and they needed some young women to portray new mothers.” She shrugged. “Sure, I’m not a mother, but I think it could be interesting. I didn’t want to pass it up.”

Stassi’s eyes lit up and there were moments when Sage thought she would see a bright smile cross her face, but it appeared like Stassi was hesitant. For that, Sage was sorry. She didn’t want Stassi to downplay her emotions. If she was excited about something, she wanted Stassi to feel like she could share that enthusiasm. Even if Stassi didn’t understand it.

“This photoshoot, is it something that someone can come watch?”

Stassi’s eyes were wide. “You’d want to?”

Sage shrugged. If she did, then maybe she would be able to get a more intimate look at Stassi’s life prior to the hospital. “I would like to see what you do. If you don’t want me there, then all you have to do is say that.”

Stassi quickly shook her head. “I’d be happy to show you around.” And with that, that was part of their date for the next day. It wasn’t quite what Sage had in mind, but if she wanted to give Stassi the benefit of the doubt, it was important that she started there. Even if it meant changing her mind about everything.