25. Diana

Diana

I f I hadn't been certain that something was sorely amiss before, the way the air left the room in that moment sealed the deal. I tried to mask my emotions as I waited, guts churning. Kevin whined, pressing closer to my knees, and I reached down to stroke his warm fur.

Just breathe. Whatever it is, you can face it.

"Diana..." Sienna began, her eyes filled with worry. "I tried to heal you on my own. But there was nothing I could do?—"

"It's alright, Sienna," Raven cut in with a shake of his head. "This isn't on you. I need to be the one to tell her...although I'd hoped I could do so when we were alone?”

The question was plain in his voice, but even though some part of me knew whatever was coming was best heard in private, I couldn't wait another second.

"Tell me," I managed to keep my voice calm even while, clenching my fists under the table.

He flinched as if I had yelled at him, and shot a glance around the table, holding Lochlin's gaze for a long moment.

"Not everyone here knows exactly what happened, and I'm sure I don't have to say it, but what is shared here and now stays in this room. If this got out to the general public..."

Lochlin frowned and then nodded. "Of course. I would never betray my Queen's trust."

"He is my trusted confidant, packmate and friend. Damn it, Raven. Out with it!" So much for my attempt at calm.

His face fell as he dropped his head. "You weren't waking up. Sienna couldn't connect to access your spirit to heal you. We were out of options. It was let you die, or…”

“Or?”

Raven raised his head and met my gaze, the grief in his green eyes palpable.

“Or have you feed from me."

I drew back, absorbing his words like a physical blow.

"Feed?" I managed in barely a whisper. "I-I took blood from you?"

"You didn’t take it…I gave it. But, yes."

A wave of dizziness overtook me, and I let my eyes drift shut. What did it mean that I’d drank vampire blood? Was that why my wolf was no longer accessible? Fuck me…

"You think that was the choice the prophecy spoke of? How could you even know for sure?" The unfairness of it all nearly stole my breath. "And even if it was, it should've been my choice." I jabbed my thumb against my sternum. " My decision. Hells, why do you think I was so keen to become a true wolf and leave my vampire life behind? This. This is why. Because this is what your kind does! They take advantage of others for their own gain!" I spluttered, wheeling around so I didn't have to look at his stricken face.

The fury inside me would not be denied. I needed a place to aim it, and Raven was my target.

" Your kind fucks with people's minds and lives. You take what you want, consequences be damned. You think you're the top of the food chain. The best of the best. But you're really just a bunch of selfish, parasitic narcissists. And because you think we're fated to be together, you used this as your in to make me one, too!"

The words loosed from my lips like poison-tipped arrows, leaving behind a bitter taste in my mouth. I was being unfair, not to mention cruel. But I couldn't bring myself to take any of it back. I just stood there with my back to him, shaking from head to toe as I tried not to fly into a full-blown panic.

Was it taking me over, even now? Raven's blood cells, consuming my own. Would I slowly transform into a facsimile of him? My murderous brother Edmund? Of what used to be me?

And what of my wolf? Once so majestic and powerful. So cocky and brave. Even now, I tried to reach her, and she cowered from me.

When Raven finally spoke, his voice was barely a whisper.

"You're angry. I can accept that. But you need to ask yourself what you would've done if you were in my shoes. I don't do it, you almost certainly die. I do, and there is a chance that you live. I won't apologize for choosing you, Diana. I will always choose you."

His retreating footsteps sounded louder than gunshots in the too-quiet room.

"Come find me whenever you're ready. I'll be there. No longer how much time it takes."

The door opened and closed an instant later and I forced myself to do what I did best. To lead my people. “Loch…start contacting the monarchs. We’ll reconvene first thing tomorrow.” I kept my eyes on the floor as I stalked toward the door. Dominic’s voice called after me.

“Diana…”

But I had to keep moving if I had any hope of making it to my quarters before the dam inside me broke.

By the time I slammed my bedroom door shut a few minutes later, the fear and panic had turned to rage. I let loose a howl as I swept the contents of a side-table onto the stone floor. A large vase shattered, and the satisfying crash only made me crave more destruction. I tore through the room like a cyclone, destroying everything in my path. Curtains and bedding shredded to bits; every piece of decorative glass obliterated.

It wasn’t until I whirled around in search of something more to break that I caught sight of myself in the full-length mirror on the wall. I looked like a madwoman. My once upswept hair in a wild tangle around my shoulder. Chest heaving. Eyes that had turned ice blue in the wake of my father’s death, were now emerald green again, glittering like gemstones against my too pale skin…bright with unchecked fury.

And the very tips of two, pearly fangs poking from beneath my upper lip.

“Nooo!” I balled up a fist and drove it into the mirror. The glass exploded in a crystalline rain even as the stone behind the mirror crumbled.

The smell of blood reached my nose almost instantly, and those new fangs ached. My wolf let out a low, warbling growl and a pain like I’d never felt gripped my insides.

“Please, no…I can’t lose my wolf,” I whimpered, dropping to my knees as I began to cough. The razor-sharp glass lashed at my skin, but I barely felt it as blood filled my mouth.

Fear gripped my chest as I sucked in a rattling breath that again set off a fit of coughs that spattered my palm with blood before finally ceasing.

What the hell was happening? Was it the shard, or was it my own body turning on me…one half consuming the other?

A low knock at the door had me mopping my mouth and hands with the tattered bedsheets on the floor beside me.

Raven.

I refused to let him see me like this. I was both furious and terrified. If I spoke to him again, there was no doubt I would say something awful to hurt him even more than I already had.

I might be a monster, but I didn’t have to act like one.

"Please go. I want to be alone," I called.

"It's Sienna. I have Myrr with me.” Long pause. "Can we come in? We won't stay long. It’s important."

I wasn't mad at Sienna for her part in this all. As a healer, she did what she thought she had to in order to save my life. I'd expect nothing less—or more—of her. She might be my sister-in-law, but she didn't know me. Not like Raven did.

Correction. Not like I'd thought he did.

But just because I wasn’t angry at Sienna didn’t mean I was in the mood for a heart to heart with her…or the Oracle, who never seemed to truly grasp the seriousness of any situation.

“Come on, Diana. Open up,” Myrr grumbled. “My gouty toe is killing me standing out here in this drafty hallway.”

I sat there for another moment, feeling sorry for myself, but then I remembered; I might be more vampire than wolf now, but for the time being, I was still queen. There was no time for self-pity. Not with Lilis still at large and the realms at risk. I had to pull my shit together.

"Come."

The door squealed open, and I pushed myself to my feet.

"Holy tornado...Did you and that bitch goddess have another throw down in here or what?" Myrr said with a low whistle as she stepped into the room.

I gingerly made my way over to the fountain and pool that took up the center of the room and rinsed my bloodied hands.

"We can sit over here. Just watch the glass on the floor," I said, pointing to the seating area in the corner.

Once the three of us were comfortable and I'd removed a chunk of the mirror from one of my knees, Sienna spoke.

"It wasn't Raven's fault. Or, not all his fault," she amended quickly. "Your doctors agreed, and I knew I didn't have the ability to save you. I truly believe you would be dead right now if not for Raven's blood."

Her expression was so solemn and sad, I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth. I was pretty sure I was dying anyway.

I was saved from having to reply when my lungs went tight again, and my body was wracked with coughs. By the time I was done, blood coated both hands and dripped down my both forearms.

“I know you’re angry, but Raven did not choose for you,” Myrr murmured, the expression on her wizened face so unfamiliar that it took a second to recognize it.

Pity. Kindness.

“ This is the choice, child. And it is yours and yours alone.”

I stared at her, some part deep inside me knowing exactly what she meant, but my mind refusing to accept it.

“The Wolf Queen must die. The question is, will you choose to go with her?”

The animal inside me let out a long, mournful howl, and my stomach roiled.

“I choose anything but this,” I croaked, a sob breaking free before I could stop it. “You don’t understand. You couldn’t possibly?—”

“Oh, but I do.” Myrr managed a half-smile. “Do you think I was always a shriveled old hermit?” She shook her head. “Once, I was young and pretty. Maybe not as pretty as the two of you, but damned close. And I had a love of my own. We were to marry and have children. Twins. A boy and a girl. One dark, one fair, both born plump, squalling and perfect. I know because I saw them with my gift. I saw snippets of our whole lives, and it was…”

Myrr swallowed hard and Sienna took her gnarled hand. I could almost see her lending the Oracle the strength to continue.

“It was a beautiful life. But my gift also showed me what would happen if I chose that life. And while I’d have been happy in a little cottage tucked in the forest with my family, much of the rest of the realm would’ve suffered in ways that I cannot describe. War after war that saw tens of thousands of our people dead. Hundreds of years of discord and strife. The worst part of every race exposed.”

Myrr pulled away from Sienna and took my bloodied hand in hers.

“The moral of this sad tale? Sometimes, Diana, both doors lead to pain. And we still must open one. I’m so sorry this is your burden to bear.”

I couldn’t speak. I just sat there, letting the truth of her words wash over me as Sienna wept. Myrr was right about all of it. Except one part.

There was no choice to be made.

Not really. The Wolf Queen must die. But I, Diana, must live if we had any hope of saving the realms because I was the only one strong enough to wield the shard inside me.

Or, I would be, as soon as…

“One more run.” I stood and swiped my bloodied hands on my thighs. “Me and the old girl will go on one more run. And then, I’ll let her go.”

I moved toward the door, suddenly desperate to escape. No one else needed to see this. The desperation as my wolf began to prowl, still afraid of this new thing inside me, but also heeding my call. Maybe she already knew this would be our last time together.

I headed out my bedroom door and sprinted down the hall, heart pounding. Hell, maybe once we started running, we just wouldn’t stop. We’d just go and go, the brisk wind in our fur, freedom unparalleled…

Distantly, I heard Dominic call my name as I passed the Great Room, but I didn’t slow my pace. When I reached the entrance to the keep, I yanked the door open. Before I could launch myself down the steps, I stopped short with a gasp.

There, standing before me, was a slumped, and clearly exhausted Nefir, knuckles raised to knock.

“Nefir? What…what are you doing here?”

“I came to warn you.”

I waved him inside, confused. “Warn us? It’s too late. She already attacked with Malach’s army. Luckily, we were able to hold her off.”

His grim expression told me lady luck was no longer in our corner, and I braced myself.

“When you told me what she’d been doing…about the mermaids and the babes…I went to find her. To see if I could talk sense into her. You were right, though. She’s too far gone.”

“But you were able to get her to share her next move with you?”

“Not exactly…”

“Damn it, Nefir, it’s been one of the worst days of my life and my patience is gone! Just tell me.”

“Fine! Okay!” he said, holding up both hands in surrender. “My parents had her imprisoned after she destroyed the Veil and I just…I accidentally set her free. Are you happy now?”

“Am I happy?” I managed a few moments later, once I’d caught my breath. “My wolf is dying, I just had to help kill the king of my ally, and you’re telling me that you’ve loosed your psycho sister into the world where she can act all on her own, without a meat puppet slowing her down. Am I happy?” I let out a harsh laugh. “I’m fucking ecstatic. This is perfect. Couldn’t be better.”

“I’m sorry, alright? It wasn’t like I meant to do it. She is very wily, that one. And?—”

Suddenly, his head lolled to one side, and his eyes went wide.

“Two sides of a coin, each pair must be,

Key one and two, then four and three

The fifth to bind them all as one

Only then can the will of the Veil be done

Hard of Head, Vengeance dealing

Soft of Heart, with hands of healing

Fiery passion, Righteous Fury,

Savior’s touch of Tender mercy

Next will come keys four and three,

As different as any two can be,

One deals only in pain and death

The other, more like spring’s first breath

A taker of souls, the bringer of night

Her opposite like dawn’s first light

And then key five, soul of the Veil

To make them one, who can prevail

In their success, our salvation lies

Or a new world begins…as this one dies.”

Nefir slumped even more, but before I could grab him, Raven was there, hauling the god to his feet.

“Where is all the blood coming from?” Raven demanded, barely giving Nefir a glance as he took in my crimson stained clothes.

“Me. It’s fine,” I said, waving off his concern for me. We had bigger fish to fry. “Did you just get here, or did you hear the prophecy?”

“I heard it, and what he disclosed before that. Lilis is free?”

“Apparently.” I nodded, a renewed sense of purpose filling me as the shard inside me pulsed.

Fiery passion, righteous fury.

I’d take it over misery and heartache any day.

“But in spite of the unfortunate news, this new prophecy foretells our potential victory. Raven…we can still win this war if we assemble all the keys and fight her together.”

And I would finally meet her, face to face.

“She is weakened now, from more than a decade of imprisonment,” Nefir whispered. “It will take her time to build up strength.”

Time was all we needed.

I would mourn for my wolf and life as I knew it later. For now, I would focus on what mattered most.

Finding the rest of the keys so we could restore the Veil…

And then make that bitch pay for what she’d done to me and mine.