15. Raven

Raven

I stood at the entrance to Diana’s tent watching her sleep. A soft smile on her lips, her hands curled tightly under her chin, dark hair spilling across the silk pillow. My heart–gods she was my heart–and for a few moments I’d felt her relax that ironclad hold she had on her control. I’d felt her let go of every expectation as I’d held her body high and feasted on her. Worshiping her as the queen she was—with or without a crown.

Something had shifted between us there, in the water. Or at least for me it had.

I didn’t think I could fall tighter under her spell; I didn’t think I could need her more. Yet now, the bond between us was stronger than I would have thought possible.

I could sense her even when I was apart from her. Walking around the perimeter of the oasis, I’d been able to pinpoint her no matter where I’d stood. Not that I was unhappy about this change, it would help me keep her safe. But it spoke to another level of our mate bond.

I rubbed a hand across my chest as if I could physically touch the strands of fate that had woven us together. From the moment I’d saved her the first time, to now, there was no doubt in my mind that we had always been meant to find our way to each other.

A birdsong in the oasis had me turning my head to the east, followed by several more as they began to call to the morning.

Only a few hours till the sun rose, and I wasn’t tired at all—benefits to being an older vampire, I could go without sleep for ages. Not that I wouldn’t have gained from a rest, but my mind wouldn’t settle, so there was no point in trying.

Stepping back, feeling as if I were tearing myself apart to put distance between me and my Frostbite, I made my way to where the lounge chairs were set up, as if we were in an all-inclusive resort—a front for something more? Nothing could be this idyllic. Not in this world. Not in the demon realm. And certainly not from a god who shared blood with Lilis.

No one else had the same worries that I did, though. Everyone else slept as if we were truly safe.

Even fucking Kevin was sprawled across two of the loungers, his tongue lolling out so long it touched the ground. I reached down and scratched the top of his head.

“How are you not suspicious, with hackles raised right now, big guy?”

He let out a fart in response to my question, and I stepped away before the cloud of green toxicity could reach me.

Towels hung from low tree branches. The water sparkled and beckoned. Everything was seemingly calm, and yet…

I let out a slow breath and tuned into the world around me, feeling every breath of wind, every single grain of sand shifting around me.

Including the soft footstep of someone trying to sneak up on me. No scent. They didn’t speak, I couldn’t hear even a heartbeat.

I spun and grabbed a throat only to find myself staring down at Myrr. Her one eyebrow arched, and I immediately let go.

“Sorry, Oracle. I am on edge.”

How did she sneak up on me? The old coot was stealthier than she let on.

“No shit, bloodsucker.” She shuffled over to the lounger closest to me and plopped herself down, leaned back and closed her eyes. I listened. There was a heartbeat, and I could hear her breathing. There was a scent to her too, faint but there now that I’d caught her.

Maybe she had a few more tricks up her sleeve than we knew.

I looked back to see if her faithful hound had followed her, but Theo remained absent from our impromptu meeting. “Myrr. It is hours yet before the sun rises. You should go back to bed.”

She huffed. “Do you know anything about anything, boy?”

Boy. As if she were so much older than me. “I remember when you were first called as an Oracle.”

Her eyes flashed open. “You were barely out of diapers you mouthy brat!”

I grinned and crouched beside her. “Fine. Have it your way. You can call me boy if you like.”

“I will then, thank you very much.” She closed her eyes, and her voice softened. “She is afraid, you know.”

My belly clenched, understanding exactly what and who she was talking about. “I…I know.”

“I hear her talking in her sleep about a boy who saved her. What if he was her mate? What if he’s dead?” Myrr didn’t so much as crack an eye, so I wasn’t sure if she knew that boy was me. It was possible. She was, after all, the Oracle.

The urge to tell her nearly overwhelmed me. Not that Will—new King of the Vampires—would mind that I’d nearly killed his tyrannical elder brother, Edmund all those years ago. Hell, I’d probably get a medal and a promotion.

But I realized somewhere in the long journey here, between each touch, each merging of our bodies that I didn’t want my Frostbite just because she was fated to me. I wanted her in every sense of the word: her mind, her soul, her heart and her body. They were equally beautiful to me in all their strength and compassion. Her intelligence and drive.

And I wanted her to want me the same way.

Not because of fate, or gratitude. But because…

“You want her to see you for who you are, huh?” Myrr flopped a hand toward me and patted me on my calf.

I drew back and glared at her. “Are you reading my mind, old woman?”

“Easy to read your mind, you’re a man, the words are simple in that book. Besides, if you’d wanted to force it, you’d have simply told her that you were her fated mate. That the vampire blood still humming in her spoke to you, and boom, she’d probably agree to anything. Well, maybe not, she is the Werewolf Queen, so I suppose it’s a secret fling? As long as she doesn’t get caught. Because then her people would call for her head, wouldn’t they?”

I didn’t want to hear what I already knew. That Frostbite, even if she came to realize we were…more than fuck buddies…would know the truth I’d been avoiding. We could never be together. Not in the way that I wanted. Maybe we’d have a tryst here and there, but she could never rule the werewolves with a vampire as her consort…

As her mate.

We’d have to run away to the Human Realms and there was no way Diana would turn her back on her people. Nor would I ask it of her.

Myrr sighed. “Love is a funny, fickle thing, Raven. But do you know what’s even worse?”

“I don’t want to know?—”

“Fate. Fate is a real bitch if you don’t do what she wants. I guess you have to pick your poison.”

I stood. “I won’t force anything, Myrr. Not on Diana. Not on anyone.”

“No, no, you idiot, you don’t force it! You lean into it! Lean into fate, let it take you where you need it to take you.” She took another swing at me, catching me in the knee this time. “Idiot.”

Much as I wanted to roll my eyes at her, she was the Oracle. Not that she had been giving me anything new, or even a prophecy to help point me in a direction.

“Myrr, go back to sleep.”

She let out a deep, rattling snore in response. I shook my head, fully intending to go to Diana, and curl my body around her. Even if I didn’t sleep, that was where I could relax the most. Where I could at least try to rest.

A gurgle from Myrr, as if she were choking, had me spinning back in her directions. Her eyes were open, staring blankly at the sky.

Her voice though, that was not her own. It was deep, a baritone that I recognized. The voice of Elhimna, an entity that had spoken through Myrr before, and who seemed to be on our side when it came to dealing with Lilis.

“Nefir will help you. It is the price he must pay for his sins. Remind him that the stars are always watching, and they know his heart.” She took a long rattling breath. “The Wolf Queen must die. It is one of many deaths that will save the realms.”

Myrr gasped and slammed a fist to her chest, her voice back to her own. “Damn heartburn!”

“No.” I could do more than breathe the word.

“Yeah, it was all that citrus! It always does that to me, I should know better, but I love oranges,” Myrr grumbled.

I dropped to my knees as if I’d been sliced through the hamstrings.

The Wolf Queen must die.

I grabbed my head with my hands as if I could stop from hearing the words. This could not be.

I couldn’t lose her.

Lean into fate…is that what Myrr had meant? Lean into losing Diana?

Because I knew Diana, and she would allow herself to be killed to save the realm, to save her family and her people. She had a heart as fierce as any Hunter, with more compassion than she let on—her reaction to the death of all the mermaids, the sorrow and grief of all those lives lost and she didn’t even know them. Her kindness to Maverick even though he’d abandoned her.

For her to know and understand that her death would save so many others? She’d jump in the fucking fire herself without question.

My guts clenched and I wasn’t sure I could keep what little food was in my stomach.

I did the only thing I could to assure myself that my Frostbite was still here, that whatever death fate had planned for her, it had not yet arrived.

I made my way to her tent and let myself inside, slipping out of my shirt. I didn’t want to wake her; I just needed her close. Needed to feel her body against mine as she took every single fucking breath, so I knew she was still with me. She was alive.

Lowering myself carefully next to her, I pulled her gently into my arms, cradling her body to mine, just breathing her in.

A soft sigh slid out of her as she snuggled in closer, her lips finding the spot above my heart and pressing there before she settled once more.

I closed my eyes and held her, my body shaking, a chill washing over me.

The image of her cold and still, her lips blue as they’d been turning under the water all those years ago…

No.

No matter what it took, I would not lose her. Nor was I going to tell her that her death was somehow required by fate. Myrr wouldn’t remember the moment the god had spoken through her, so there was no one to speak the words but me.

I would keep it from Diana, and when the time came…I would bear the cost. The voice had said many deaths would be required—mine in place of Diana’s. A deal with the gods, if need be. A life was a life. Surely mine would do.

I would make it do.

Her warmth seeped into me, chasing the chill away. And with my decision made regarding her fate and my own, I let my mind turn to other questions.

How many gods were we dealing with? A small part of me had thought Nefir and Elhimna perhaps would be the same entity. Nefir seemed the type to find it funny to go by multiple names and personalities but…this voice from Myrr debunked my theory.

I mulled over what Myrr had said, the other words that had come first. That Nefir was paying for some sins. Did that mean he’d helped Lilis at some point? Did that mean he was more dangerous than he was letting on? He was a god after all.

Diana shimmied in her sleep, her arms slipping around me. I kissed the top of her head, wishing we were somewhere else. Wishing I’d reconnected with her sooner…wishing I’d killed Edmund all those years ago, and Diana had never had to leave the Vampire Territories.

But then I would have been executed. And she still would never have known me.

“Fucking fate,” I muttered, seeing that this path we’d both been walking was the only one where we even had a few moments together. This path that ended in disaster was the best we were going to get.

Diana slipped a hand over my waist in her sleep, slipping lower until she stroked my cock, drawing a low moan from my lips.

If this was it, then I’d best make the most of it.

“Frostbite,” I growled her name as I tipped her chin up and kissed the pulse in her neck. “Are you awake?”