38. Roni

Istumbled backward as my captor took a step back.

"Holy fuck, that beast is massive." He took another step, dragging me backward with him. My bad leg caused my foot to drag across the ground. Shooting pain nearly blinded me, and there was nothing I could do about it. The bear took a step closer, baring his teeth.

"Easy there, bear," I said, hoping that by making human noises it would back away. "Back away!" I said louder.

It paused in the middle of its next step. We were close enough to smell its rotten breath as it growled.

I felt the body behind me shift. He pulled out a gun, aiming it directly at the bear. It was a smaller handgun. I was no expert survivalist, but I knew shooting that at the bear wasn't going to do anything more than piss it off. He needed a shotgun or a rifle, something with some power behind it, to really make an impact. Firing his handgun was just like inviting it to dinner, an open invitation to rip us open and feed on our insides.

What a fucking idiot.

"That's not a good idea. You're only going to anger it. It's not a strong enough gun," I warned. It felt weird that briefly he and I were both on the same team, both of us trying to prevent becoming the bear's next meal.

He applied more pressure on my neck in response, clearly displeased that I was telling him what not to do. "Then what do you suggest? What the hell would you know anyways? You're a city girl, daughter of a politician." His scoff was almost insulting, not that he was entirely wrong. But I'd been living in the wilderness for some time now, and I'd had Diego as a wilderness guide.

I thought my words through carefully. "This isn't my first encounter with a bear." Answering, "I saw it on TV," didn't have the same kind of reassurance.

"And how'd you make it out of that one?" he countered.

I took a deep breath because it could be my last opportunity. "I ran."

"Well…in that case…" He fired the gun at the bear, hitting it in the arm. It stood up on its back legs as it let out a loud, angry roar.

My eyes flashed past the massive bear and over to Diego, who was still fighting his way through the men. The sound must have caught his attention, because I knew the exact moment he spotted me, and who stood in front and behind me.

"Roni!"

When the bear let out another roar, I was suddenly shoved from behind, right into the path of the bear. I did my best to correct my fall, so that at least I'd fall to my side, making it easier to get up. If I fell forward, I'd be right in the striking distance of the bear. I'd be easy prey, or more so than I currently was. My messed-up leg and shoulder certainly didn't make me a very challenging meal.

I caught myself with my arm as I hit the ground. The sound of footsteps on gravel behind me was disheartening. I was now alone with the bear. What a coward. On the bright side, he couldn't use my death in his video. Instead, my intestines would be strung out for a quarter mile by the bear as he drug me home for dinner.

I reached forward and grabbed the large, thick branch that I nearly fell on. It wasn't a gun, but it was better than nothing. I slowly stood and waved the branch in front of me, hoping that would be enough to convince the predator that I wouldn't be easy and that it was better off moving along.

Instead it swiped out, its massive paw catching my other leg. I nearly passed out from the pain and force of the hit.

I looked down as blood trickled down my leg in what looked like a steady stream. The sight of so much blood made me woozy, or maybe it was the blood loss. If the bear hit me again, I was as good as gone. The bear took a step closer to me as I stumbled a step backward. I pulled the branch back and swung as hard as I could, over and over, not taking a moment to stop and give the bear a moment to think. I just swatted it over and over again, desperate to keep my balance and stay awake long enough for it to give up on me.

A cry came from the woods, catching the attention of both me and the bear. I wasn't an expert on bears by any means, but to me it sounded like a cub calling out. The bear immediately stopped its assault on me and let out another roar. She. The bear was a mom, and we must have been near her cubs.

It felt like time paused as I took a moment to really take in the bear. Recognition dawned on me—it was the same bear that Diego and I encountered before. The little bear family hadn't moved from this area of the woods.

The bear charged, brushing right past me. Its massive shoulder knocked me over. I was determined not to fall to the ground again and tried to regain my footing on my way down. The edge of the river filled my vision as I realized my mistake. If I'd let myself fall, sure, I would have broken some more bones, but I'd be on solid ground. Instead, I was one step away from falling head first into the roaring river. Last night's heavy rain made the current very strong, not fit for a swim I wanted to survive.

The last step came and went, and the icy-cold water stole my breath as my face broke through the surface tension.

No. No. No!

My whole body sank under the surface, the water itself freezing—my fall practically a death sentence. Minutes, I had minutes before hypothermia would claim me.

I opened my eyes. The water was red from my blood.

If I just gave up, let myself drown, it would at least be a peaceful death—or that's what I'd heard anyway.

But I couldn't do that. I couldn't have suffered everything I'd been through to give up now. If I could survive all night long in the freezing waters feeding into the Alaskan Gulf, I could survive this, even with a bunch of broken bones.

I had to survive this. I was owed the chance to curse out my father.

To pick my own path in life and stick it to him.

He should have to live with knowing how much he hurt me, always putting his office, whichever one he held, in front of me—his family.

Negative thoughts nearly pulled me further under. I was too broken now, and the river too strong, but fuck if I wasn't going to try. I was going to jump from one frying pan to the next until my luck ran out. I had to at least try to jump this time.

I kicked my arms and legs, determined to free myself from the water and the dark thoughts that wanted to drown me.

I will do this. I will survive.

My head broke through the surface. My lungs ached as I took in a deep breath, my face assaulted by the spray from the roaring river and my ears overcome by the loud water rushing by. The cold caused my limbs to seize up. I had no idea what part of the river I was in, but I couldn't see Diego. I'd never ventured down the river this far—completely new territory.

I was sucked back under the surface by the current, left with no hope of trying to figure out how far I'd been carried. How far I'd have to stumble my way back if I could pull myself from the water.

When.

I tumbled around, my arms pinwheeling as I tried to orient myself. I could barely tell which way was up as I tumbled through the water.

I held back a sob.

Blinding pain radiated up my back after I hit something hard, knocking the wind out of me. The little bit of oxygen I'd been managing to hold onto bubbled up to the surface. I reached behind me to see what new hell I'd stumbled across.

A tree.

I could work with that—it was an escape route.

I grabbed onto the tree and discovered just how weak I was. I pulled up and kicked— my head barely surfaced. My face burned from being exposed to the air. With my non-busted arm, I held onto the tree and tried to pull myself out.

You've got to do this, Roni.

You must.

I groaned as I reached out with my bad arm to grab the pants leg of my bad leg. I pulled my leg out of the water a few inches. The motion burned, and I nearly lost my grip on the tree. My heel barely made it to the top of the tree. I strained and pulled with everything I had, barely able to lift my lower body out of the water. The new position made the extent of my blood loss noticeable. As if the visible reminder clued in my body to just how bad off we were, my vision began to darken and turn cloudy at the edges. I shivered, unable to stop—making it even more difficult to remain on the tree.

Breathe. Deep breath in, deep breath out. I can't die if I'm still breathing.

I stared up at the sky as I forced myself to hang on. My fingers were killing me, but I locked them in place, clawing the tree. I didn't hang on through each terrible thing and then the next, all for me to be the one to let myself go and give up. I just didn't have that in me. I had so much to live for.

I needed to expose Geneva to the world.

I needed to find my purpose.

And I needed to speak my peace to my dad without a single government official interfering. I needed him to know what was in my heart.

Most importantly, I had to hang on for Diego. I wouldn't let him live with the guilt of my death and the what-ifs.

My body wasn't quite on board, though. My eyes started to close against my will.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Then there was nothing.