Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Mason

Short-circuit.

My brain is short-circuiting.

Teach me how to date, but wait, I saw Porter, and no, don't get me a bodyguard. I don't know which subject to tackle first.

Do I want to date her?

I don't date.

Some people are better alone. I'm one of those. Do I know how to date? I dated a few times while studying for my master's degree. Could I date Ainsley?

Nine is off-limits. I'm not capable of love.

I push that detail away from my head and go to the next. "Where did you see Porter?"

"Outside my father's recording studio. He's broke, and"—She shrugs a shoulder— "he's been calling me, too."

She hates to have a security detail. How do I convince her that she needs one? Porter might be dangerous. The solution is to find him and give him a refresher course on the reasons why he has to stay away from Ainse. I'll beat the shit out of him and use him as a practice target while his dick hangs from a tree.

"I worry about you," I press. "My job keeps me away from the city. Knowing someone is watching over you will help me sleep at night."

Her eyes narrow, and her voice rises. "I can take care of myself, and I can take him down if I have to."

The idea of Porter touching her again makes me see red. Thinking of him using his antics to wiggle his way back to Ainse makes me want to shoot an entire magazine of ammunition into his chest.

I pull her to me, my hands circling her waist and my head dropping on her forehead. "Please, let me protect you."

She smiles and caresses my face with her soft hand. "If you're so worried about me, you can be my bodyguard… while you teach me how to date."

I don't know if she's joking, but she's right. I could do that. There are plenty of things I can teach her while I'm on the lookout for Porter Kendrick. Tomorrow, I'll talk to Dad. Harrison and Tiago are out of town heading a mission. Hawk and Kowalski can assemble a team and do a manhunt.

"Dating, huh?"

She nods. "This is the perfect solution. It's easy to be around you. There's no pressure, and I'm sure you won't turn into a rotten pumpkin at midnight."

I stare at her, confused. But more than anything, turned on by the prospect of dating her.

I chuckle. "Guys turn to rotten pumpkins?"

"Yep. They go from you're the most beautiful woman in the world to… goodbye, I'll call you, then don't call me. Or they just disappear without even saying goodbye."

"Sounds like you have some experience."

"Movies, books, coworkers…" She looks around. "And two brothers who are the kings of the manwhores."

"I wish I could defend them, but they are guilty."

She sighs, annoyed or maybe exasperated. "I don't understand why they can't just be with one woman. Or, in Matt's case, a man or a woman. Look at my parents. They've been together for thirty years. Unless you count their ridiculous separation."

Relationships are more complicated than a simple date. Marriages last days or years. There's till death do us part and… I've also heard of people who divorce within a day of getting married.

"I guess everyone is different. Look at my father, still pining after my mother. Mom keeps getting married and divorced. Your brothers haven't met the woman—or man—of their dreams. Your parents did."

"Do you think you'll settle down once you meet someone who makes your heart feel safe?"

"My heart safe?" I repeat, not understanding what she's trying to say.

"Yes, you won't fear the future. You'll just trust them. A woman who'll remind you every day that she's lucky to own your heart, and she'll hand you hers because she knows it's safe with you."

The words are beautiful and captivating. Do they make me want to reach inside my chest, rip out my heart, and hand it to her? Probably. The problem isn't what she'll do with me but the damage I might do to her.

But I can date her. I can do casual. Teach her the ropes.

It'll be easy to work from Seattle for a change, delegate most of the missions, and just spend evenings with Ainsley while I teach her to…

"What exactly did you say you want from these dating lessons?"

"Everything."

I laugh at her explanation or the lack of it. "You need to be more specific. I can't just jump into this without knowing what you want. I have to plan."

"It's dating, not Algebra 101." She glares at me, but I can see the smile on her lips.

"You know what I mean."

She shakes her head. "No. You make it sound like a curriculum for a class. Like the ones I used to create every evening when I taught kindergarten. Tomorrow we'll be doing finger painting."

I burst into laughter. "I hope that's not the case. I'm terrible at arts and crafts. That was my only F."

She scoffs. "Please, you're a boy genius. I doubt you failed anything. Not even Scissors 101 . Don't you have to be precise when you're cutting wires while deactivating a bomb?"

"We don't talk about what I do."

"Not even between us when there's no one around?" She snickers. "Well, that's going to be boring. I already have so many jokes. If you were in a relationship, you could role-play."

Ainsley has to stop talking about this, or I might just push her against the counter and show her how hard she's making me. "How would that work?"

"You could rescue her or pretend that you're working on a secret operation, but plot twist. She's actually a spy and you have to seduce her."

The fantasy is right there. We could meet at a restaurant. I'll try to make conversation, she'll play coy… we'd end up in the bathroom, having hot, sweaty, dirty sex against the door so no one can interrupt us.

I swallow hard. "Really? That's something you want?"

She shrugs a shoulder. "Well, that'd be sexy."

"Is that part of what you want while you're dating?"

"Role-playing? I don't know. You need to remember that I haven't had sex since… five years ago?" She frowns. "It's going to be weird and different. I could fantasize about so many things, but in the end, I might not do anything because I'm broken. A stranger won't understand it."

I want to take her into my arms and tell her that she's stronger than she thinks. That her scars are beautiful. She doesn't need words, just someone to show her that she's capable of anything. Even dating, falling, and finding happiness.

"When do you want to start?"

She glances at me, confused. "Huh?"

"I'm going to teach you how to date."

She grins. "Are you serious?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Blindly," she responds automatically.

My pulse speeds up. My brain thinks this might be a bad idea, but my lips are already tingling with the idea of devouring her.

This will not end in tragedy, I promise, but can I promise that it won't break my heart?