Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-One

Ainsley

The moon shines on top of the dark blue sea. After I wake up from the longest nap I've ever had during my adult life, I go to grab some food. The microwave on top of the stove announces it's after four—in the morning.

Talk about oversleeping. I barely remember my parents waking me up so I'd eat some lunch and dinner.

With a granola bar and water in hand, I make my way outside. The ocean calls my name. The peaceful sound of the waves might help with the typhoon whirling inside my head.

Yesterday was one of the most heart-wrenching, soul-draining days I've ever experienced.

My heart and head are making an inventory of the damage while estimating the length it'll take for them to repair it all, if that's even possible.

Every painful moment of my relationship with Porter resurfaced. The agony chokes me and the grief… it's killing me.

Those memories. James, the baby I'll never know.

Yes, I was young, inexperienced, and immature.

No number of flaws about becoming a mom at that age matter compared to the love I felt for him when I learned he existed. I carry the same love in my heart with the memories of that baby who will never learn to walk, talk, love, ask for a bedtime story, or catch a ball.

He's inside my heart, and he'll always be a part of who I am. The pain might not go away but recognizing him makes it bearable.

Ironically, my soul isn't as heavy as it was yesterday. The lumps blocking my airways disappeared, making some room to breathe.

My system is purging the bitterness. My heart stopped withering. I might break all the chains and be able to climb out of the hole I've lived in for so long.

One day, perhaps soon, I'll find the way to move forward to the next point.

The future.

"Nine, are you becoming nocturnal?" I look over my shoulder to find Mason walking toward me. His silver eyes glowing with the moonlight.

Ah, Mase, my trusty superhero.

If I wasn't such a mess, I'd dare to explore the attraction, the admiration, the curiosity I've developed for him as a man and not only a friend.

Shake it off, Ainsley.

"I didn't think you were around." I ignore his question. "Are you trying to go back to those unemployment lines? I hear they're longer this time of the year."

"Yes, the unemployment line is what pays for my video game addiction." He winks at me. "The lines are worth it."

Mason gives me a side hug before speaking, "How are you after that big… confession?"

I shrug. "I'm processing the past twenty-four hours, Mase."

I walk toward the sea and let the water stroke my feet. The cold water tickles my toes and heads back to the ocean.

"Opening up to my parents created a pandemonium of emotions inside me. It'll take some time to find myself."

He nods and smiles.

"Maybe someday I'll be normal again," I add.

"No, that's impossible," he blurts out. "You can't be normal. You're Nine, so damn special."

A snort escapes me. The nickname will never fade.

"I'm just another number to you, Mason," I banter.

"You're Nine, that's three times the special prime number, three," he makes a point. "Earth is the third planet, and you're part of a ternary."

That scientific-geeky-dorky part of him makes me smile. My heart flutters.

I sneak another glance at Mason. His eyes smile at me. If I fall in love with someone again, I want someone like him.

Maybe him.

It's a wishful thought. I wouldn't ruin our friendship like I did with Porter. I link my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me, Mase."

I wish he would say something, but he doesn't.

"If I move to Seattle, would you visit me?"

"I'll pack your belongings and drive you, Nine."

His eyes turn toward the horizon for a second before he bends his neck. He closes the distance between us.

His lips touch mine with a light stroke that sends an electrical pulse through my body. It is unlike anything I've ever experienced, a current that charges my heart with a different kind of energy.