Chapter 40

Chapter Forty

Anderson

The room is fucking bright. My body aches and where the fuck is the pain medication?

"Hey man." Kevin pushes himself from the curtain. "We agreed to stop meeting each other in this fucking room, didn't we?"

I chuckle, flinching at the same time. My left side hurts like hell. I take an inventory of my body. My left arm is in a cast, and my right hand is heavy because my beautiful woman is resting on top of it. Her eyes are closed, dried tears crusted on her cheeks. She's close to my wrist. Her fingers are pressed close to my veins as if feeling my pulse. I hate that she had to see me like this after what happened with Michael. I feel stronger as I see her by my side.

Fuck, Michael. I swear at some point I saw him, he told me to hang in there. I couldn't leave Aspen the way he did. Hallucinations, the result of pain medication and reading the letter he left for my woman. Either way, I'm not naming any of my children Michael. I told him that in my dream, he said, "Fine, name your daughter Michelle. That's close enough."

"She's brave." Kevin sighs. "She tried to hold back the tears until you two were alone. I made her eat a sandwich."

"Thank you." My voice comes out dry.

Her eyes flutter open, her lips tug slightly forming a small smile. "You're awake." Her eyes widen as she spots my hand. She springs out of her seat and checks the needle and the plastic tube attached to it. "I didn't move it. How are you feeling?"

Aspen pushes a button on the wall. "Any pain?" She kisses my head, the anguish in those whiskey eyes is killing me.

"Fuck, everything hurts. Did Brynn cut my dick?"

"What?!"

"She threatened to cut my dick if I made you cry."

She laughs, shaking her head. The sweet ring of that voice loosens up my constricted chest. Yes, the pain leaves too. "No. She wouldn't dare touch you. She wants godchildren."

"How long have you been here?"

"I don't know. Since Kevin picked me up?"

"Go home and rest, baby." I search for her hand, pressing it lightly to my lips. "I worry about you."

"Please, don't think about me." She combs my hair and scrunches her head. "Just as I was beginning to get used to the long hair and the permanent stubble."

"Time for me to go. I'm going to check on Hugo and Brynn." Kevin pulls out his phone. "She had a long day and is shaken. If you need me, just send a text."

Aspen smiles, putting her hands on top of mine and finds my eyes. "My parents had a terrible relationship. They used others to hurt each other, even my brother and me. Many things drove them to behave so badly, most of all miscommunication."

She inhales and exhales twice, swallowing too. "It's hard for me to do it, but you make it easy. The way I reacted during your mom's funeral was atrocious. I can't promise that there won't be another meltdown ever again. I'm human. Living is scarier than hiding behind unfounded and old fears."

I squeeze her hand, encouraging her to continue. "Waking up in the same bed, making sweet love at any time of the day…or having rough, kinky sex. I want us fighting for the toothpaste and for who'll be cooking dinner since we both work."

She exhales. "I love you. And for the first time, I don't want to hide or avoid it. Honestly, I'm scared that during the next mission you'll be gone for months, that you might not even come back. That will stay in my heart. It'll hurt, but I'll be happy because I'll carry the best memories of us with me for as long as I live."

"This was my last long-term mission," I say, holding her gaze. "From this day forward—or as soon as I'm out of here. I want to come home after a long day at work to you."

"Bradley told me you're his partner now."

I nod. "Tiago, another friend of ours, and I paid him some money to buy into the business."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to focus on short-term missions, planning, and training new recruits." I disclose some of my plans. I still have to talk to Mason some more. "I want to come home every night, to our bed. What do you think?"

"Yes." She leans forward kissing my lips. "I want that too."

"Marry me, beautiful," I reach for her hand, kissing the inside of her wrist. "Big wedding or small. Your choice as long as it's soon. I don't want to wait long to start our life together—future Mrs. Hawkins."

"It doesn't have to be big or fancy...any place is perfect, as long as I marry you. That's my dream wedding. The one with you as my groom." She takes my mouth in a slow, deep kiss. Our tongues dance, erasing the distance, the pain and the fear of never seeing her again.

"I saved his life, I should be the maid of honor," Brynn demands, interrupting the kiss.

"Why did I call you?" Aspen growls, kissing me one last time before moving out of Brynn's way.

"Technically, you called the nurses. I happened to be walking by and offered my assistance before going home. Kevin is waiting for me." She starts writing the numbers on the monitor in my chart, then looks at the plaster on my arm and the bandage on my upper ribs. "From one to ten, what's your pain level?"

One hundred? "Nine. When can I go home?"

"I'd say a week from today. If you heal faster, we can work something out. Knowing Aspen, she would rather have you at home." Finishing her notes, she lifts her gaze. Her attention is now on Aspen. "You have to go back to rest. I'll be back at six tomorrow morning. Promise me that you'll go to the house. Once he has a room, we can find you a bed."

"Fine."

"Don't fool around, and go to sleep." She squeezes my hand. "You did well, Anderson. I'm glad I didn't have to do anything drastic."

We exchange a glance. I told her my last words to Aspen in case I didn't make it. She asked me to shut up and be a good patient, or she'd castrate me.

"Sit by me, Aspen." I move to my right side making some space for her to join me in bed.

Carefully, she shifts the tubes, then walks around the bed and sits right next to me. "So, one in a seven billion, huh?" She traces the newest tattoo on my chest, the one I had Kevin ink the night before I went out on this last mission.

Among seven billion I'll always find you. I'll always choose you. Even before our souls branded each other, I knew we were meant to be together forever. I'm yours, yesterday, today, and always.