Chapter 43

Chapter Forty-Three

Charlotte Mitchell

“ M ama,” is the first thing I hear. It’s muffled like I’m listening to it from underwater, but then something touches my cheek, a warm hand against my cold skin. “Mama, open your eyes.”

I take a few breaths as I listen to my surroundings. The beeping of machines is almost too loud for my ears, and somewhere close by, a phone rings. Footsteps, many footsteps, echo somewhere around me.

“Mama,” the voice whispers close to my ear, and it’s enough to open my eyes. The first thing that comes into view is a pair of blue irises. And then the face leans away, and Nix comes into full view. His brows are pinched together, and he’s searching my face as I fully come out of whatever kind of sleep I’ve been in.

“Where am I?” I croak as I get a look around. My room’s walls consist of curtains, and machines sit all around me, some hooked up to my body and others left useless. I flex my fingers and look down when I find nothing but pain. My wrists are bound in white bandages, and an IV pokes out of the back of my hand.

“The hospital,” he whispers before grabbing something beside me. In the next moment, I have a straw to my lips. “Do you remember what happened?”

I take a few gulps before nodding. What happened to me is something I’ll not soon forget. “How am I alive?”

“They gave you a lot of blood.” His tone is apathetic, and I get the feeling it sounds that way because he’s trying to shut down all the feelings reeling inside him.

The realization that my heart is still beating does nothing to settle the pit in my stomach. “Nathan? He’s alive. Did you find him?”

His lips twitch. “You don’t have to worry about him.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Because he’s dead. He’s gone. For real this time.”

I relax back into my pillow because the irrational part of me thought he’d try to come back for his property. There’s no way I’d survive another encounter with him, not weaponless and certainly not in my weak condition.

Nix pushes the hair from my clammy forehead. “Miles and Anya were found near the border an hour ago. They’ve both been arrested, as well as everyone found on Nathan’s laptop that had to do with the business. I don’t know what will happen to Anya since she’s not a US citizen, but I do know that Miles and the others won’t see the light of day for a long, long time.”

I know the business goes further than what’s on Nathan’s laptop, but it’s a start.

I look at Nix’s suit. There’s blood all over it. My blood, I realize. “I never suspected – I mean – he was like a father to me.”

“I know,” he murmurs and then presses a soft kiss to my forehead. His breath fans my skin as he lingers there. “People do terrible things. They’re not always who we think they are.”

When he pulls away, I raise my gaze to his. “Like you?”

He nods slowly. “Like me. Or, at least, before you came along.”

There’s a look in his eyes like he’s seen me dead, and he probably has for all I know, so I ask, “What aren’t you telling me?”

He looks down at my lips then back at my eyes. “Many things.”

“No lies,” I remind him quietly.

He tucks his chin, parts his lips, and breathes out an exhale through his mouth. “I’m not good at this. I thought you were dying. You were, actually. Dying, I mean.” He raises his hand and scrubs at his hair. “I didn’t think I . . .”

I scowl. “Nix?”

He closes his eyes for a moment then leans forward and brushes his lips against mine. “My feelings for you are deeper than just feelings.”

I smile a little and kiss him back. For a second, I had thought it was something terrible. “You love me.”

He leans away a little and searches my eyes. His brows pinch together.

I add, “Just because you can’t verbally express yourself doesn’t mean I can’t read between the lines. I never needed you to declare it. I already knew.”

He cups his hand over my cheek and rubs my bottom lip with his thumb. “I don’t deserve you.”

I lean into his touch. “You do. You always have. You just think so little of yourself. You think you’re incapable of things when you’re not, and all you needed was someone to remind you that you can have what you want – if you want it. ”

“And if all I want is you?”

A small smile plays at the edges of my lips. “I know that too.”

He smirks, a crack in his hard exterior, and reaches for me again. This time the kiss is more demanding, more desperate, and I kiss him back with just as much energy and passion.

I’ve never had someone need me like he does. And I’ve never needed someone like I need him. I don’t know what the universe’s plan is; I don’t know where we go from here, but I do know that wherever life takes us, it’s together.

The kiss lasts a long while until he finally breaks away. With a smile, the one I love so much, he stands up from his seat on my bed. “Where are you going?” I ask as he walks away.

“To get the doctor and tell him you’re awake,” he explains as he heads to the curtain.

Panic rises in my chest. “You’re not going to leave, are you?”

He stops in his tracks then swivels to face me. With a serious expression, he says, “Never.”