Chapter Nine

T he chains encircled his wrists first, before they wrapped around his throat. In the darkness, Brian couldn't breathe, and he fought against the bindings. He struggled to push away his attacker, but he couldn't see who it was.

‘Savas,' a woman's voice said. Her presence was familiar, like a hand reaching out to him. He wasn't aware of his surroundings, and past and present seemed to blur around him. He struggled against the hands trying to hold him down, and it was only when she pressed her body to his that he realised she was naked.

Desire speared through him, and he felt the softness of her breasts against his chest, her hips against his. His body was covered in sweat, his breathing unsteady.

Velaria was here, in his bed. Slowly, reality came back to him, and he stilled.

‘You were dreaming,' she said quietly. ‘It was just a nightmare.'

His mouth was dry, and he was torn between annoyance at himself for losing control and the fierce desire for his new wife.

‘I'm sorry,' he managed. He hadn't wanted her to know about the dreams that still plagued him, even though he knew she understood. It embarrassed him that he'd lost sight of where he was—especially now.

‘Do you get those dreams often?' She rested her hand upon his heart, which was still beating rapidly. Although right now, his blood pounded for her as much as the dream. Right now, he could feel every inch of her slim, muscled body. And she had to be aware of his need for her.

‘Most nights, I have bad dreams,' he admitted. ‘Don't you?' He didn't move, for fear that she would pull away.

‘Yes,' she admitted. ‘Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. And other nights, I still feel the chains. I remember the horrors we faced.'

He took her wrists in his hands, gently caressing them. ‘We're safe now.' His hands moved to her bare spine, but he did nothing more than hold her against him. Yestereve, he had frightened her, and he blamed himself for pressing her too soon.

‘Savas, about...our wedding night.' Her voice held shame, something he never wanted her to feel.

He sat up slightly and drew his arms around her. ‘I asked too much of you,' he said against her lips. ‘You weren't ready.'

‘I wanted to be,' she whispered.

He knew that. But he slid his hands down her bottom to her hips, gritting his teeth at the softness of her body upon his. ‘We have time.'

She stared at him for a moment and then rolled to her side. He came up behind her, resting his face against her neck.

‘That night, when Kadir's men took me—' she started.

His arms tightened around her. ‘You don't have to tell me.' He wasn't entirely certain he wanted to know what had happened that night.

She fell silent for a moment but drew his arms closer around her. ‘They brought me to a large chamber with four noblemen. Kadir sat with the noblemen in chairs around the room. There was a sunken pool of water in the floor.' Her voice caught a moment, but she continued.

‘They stripped my clothing from me and forced me to stand naked before the men.' She let out a slow breath. ‘He planned to sell me to one of them as a concubine.'

Brian stroked her hair, but inwardly, he wanted to kill Kadir and every man who had humiliated her. ‘I'm sorry.' No woman deserved to be treated like that.

‘There were two serving girls who came into the pool,' Velaria said. ‘They—they washed me in front of the men, and Kadir invited them to...touch me.' Her body curled inward, and he knew she was crying. Every part of him tensed at her confession, but he simply held her in silent support.

‘I thought I could...ignore them and pretend it didn't matter.' Her body trembled against his as she admitted, ‘But when the first man touched me, I couldn't pretend it wasn't happening. I used my chains to choke him, and I fought them. I drew blood, and I didn't care.'

‘I'm glad you did,' he said quietly. ‘I wish I could have killed them for you.'

‘I nearly did kill one of them,' she admitted. ‘Kadir was furious. He stopped the men from...claiming me. But he ordered me to be beaten while the others watched.'

She shuddered again, gripping the coverlet. ‘They—' Her words broke off, but she didn't finish.

‘You don't have to say anything else, Velaria.' He turned her to face him and stroked her cheek. ‘I will never make demands of you. Nor will I touch you if that's not what you want.'

‘I don't want those memories to keep me from having a future,' she admitted. ‘I don't want them to hold that victory.' Then she took his hand in hers. ‘The only man I want is you.'

The next morn, Velaria endured the teasing of several of the MacEgan brothers, but it was all with good wishes. Mairead bid her farewell, but the young woman still had a mysterious smile, which made Velaria wonder what she was hiding.

Brian waited with the horses while she embraced her mother and father. Katherine touched her cheek and smiled. ‘I hope you will be happy together. Come back to England when you can.'

Velaria gave a nod, and then her father regarded her. ‘Brian of Penrith was not the man I would have chosen for you to w-wed. But if you are happy with him, we will f-find a place for both of you at Ardennes.'

‘Thank you, Father.' She squeezed his hand, and then Brian helped her on to her horse. She noticed that he had tied a sword to her saddle as a weapon for defence. It didn't bother her to be armed as much as it had before.

King Patrick came forward to say farewell, but instead of bidding them a good journey, he warned, ‘I am sending a few of my men with you as escorts for part of your journey. If you see any of the king's men, stay away from them on your journey north. You don't want to be caught between sides.'

‘I hope to gain an audience with my father,' Brian said. ‘After I've spoken with my sister and her husband.'

‘Be cautious,' the king advised. ‘If there were witnesses to Lord Marwood's death, they could identify Velaria.'

A chill slid over her at the reminder that one of the men had escaped—one who could identify her to the king.

‘I will keep her safe,' Brian vowed. ‘With my own life. No one will harm her.'

A softness caught within her heart, for Velaria knew he meant it. After they said their farewells and continued on the pathway north with their escorts, her husband drew his horse closer.

As she met his gaze, she saw the heated stare and her body seemed to respond to him. She remembered his touch and the way he had made her feel desirable. But she was also ashamed that she had asked him to stop. He had never asked for more than she could give.

Yet, she was frustrated with herself for not being able to give him the sort of marriage he ought to have—the sort of marriage she wanted, too. She promised herself that she would try again.

As they travelled away from Laochre, she stopped to glance back at the coast and the horizon. There were no ships yet, but she worried what would happen when the king's men discovered she was responsible for the deaths of the baron and the others.

Brian seemed to guess her thoughts. ‘We'll be far away from here by the time the king and his men arrive.'

Her mood sobered, and she continued riding alongside him. ‘Tell me about your sister, Morwenna.'

His face softened. ‘She was always protective of me when I was young. We moved from place to place often. I didn't realise until later that we were adopted. But I think Morwenna suspected it.'

‘Who is your mother?' she asked.

Brian shook his head. ‘I don't know. I'm hoping Morwenna can tell me that when I find her.'

She understood how much he needed answers about his past. And yet, her own thoughts were focused upon an uncertain future. Her father had been sincere in his offer to help them, but she also suspected that Savas would want to forge his own path. It meant facing King John, eventually. Part of her hoped it wasn't true that he was the king's bastard son. Yet, if he was, then it might offer the protection they needed.

Velaria could feel Savas's gaze upon her as they rode north. She couldn't deny that her own attention kept shifting towards him. Although she'd lost her courage last night before they could consummate their marriage, she believed Savas could help her move forward. His touch had conjured the memories she hadn't wanted to face—but perhaps that was what she needed to lay the ghosts to rest.

He'd listened to her when she'd revealed what had happened with Kadir's men. She'd sensed his anger, but it was towards the men, not her. And somehow, confessing her darkest moments had seemed to pull them closer together. Not once had he looked upon her with distaste. Instead, he'd held her all night. The warmth of his skin against hers had brought her a comfort she'd never expected. And in the morning, he'd cut his hand, adding a few drops of his own blood to the sheets to make it seem as if she'd lost her innocence. It was a noble gesture she hadn't anticipated.

The truth was, she wanted a real marriage between them. And she hoped that if she offered herself again, it might heal the jagged memories of the past and make her whole.

Despite their long journey, Savas's skin had not lost the bronzed colour from Constantinople. She understood his need to feel the sun's warmth and remember that they had their freedom. But when she looked over at her husband as they journeyed, she couldn't deny the flare of attraction. When she stole a glance at his handsome face, she thought of his kiss and his hands upon her.

Savas caught her staring, and though her cheeks flushed, she saw the answering look in his eyes and the promise of more. She took a deep breath and offered a slight smile. But the intensity of his gaze seemed to awaken her body until her skin grew sensitive beneath her gown.

They rode alongside one another for hours before Savas finally raised his hand to stop for the night. He sent their escorts off to hunt, and Velaria started gathering stones for a hearth fire. Before she could finish stacking the wood and kindling, he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. The gesture of affection was entirely unexpected, but she turned to embrace him.

‘I've been wanting to do that for hours,' he murmured.

His words evoked a smile, and she lifted her gaze to his. ‘I'm glad you did.'

He kept his hands at her waist and said softly, ‘There's something I need to know, Velaria.'

Her heartbeat quickened, but she ventured, ‘What is it?'

He bent to her ear, and his warm breath sent a dark shiver through her. ‘Do you want a marriage in name only?'

Colour stained her cheeks, but she forced herself to touch his face. ‘No,' she breathed. ‘I never wanted a marriage like that.' She swallowed hard and admitted, ‘I always wanted you, Savas. But I'm not a virgin any more, and I'm afraid I won't please you.' She couldn't hide the shame in her voice. Drogan had abandoned her after that night, and she couldn't bear the thought of Savas being disappointed.

And yet, the look in his eyes was fiercely protective. ‘What happened to you wasn't your fault,' he insisted. ‘And I disagree. If you found no pleasure, then you are still a virgin.' His hand moved slowly up her spine, and he said, ‘Do you want me to touch you, Velaria?'

His words made her breathless, and she didn't know what to say. She felt self-conscious and uncertain, for she couldn't imagine lying with him while others were nearby. Before she could ask what he meant, the men returned with rabbits and another had fish.

The MacEgans had provided other food supplies, and Velaria used the meal preparation as a chance to occupy herself and keep her mind off the offer her husband had made. What did he mean she was still a virgin?

She couldn't deny that Savas made her blood race, that she'd welcomed his kiss. But all she'd ever known of lovemaking was Drogan's fumbling hands and the unwanted caresses of Kadir's men. Her only consolation was that she had saved herself from rape. But what had hurt her most of all was the blow to her pride. Although Kadir had ordered her beaten, the physical pain had been nothing compared to the emotional shame she bore.

One of the men lit the hearth fire, and she cooked the fish and the meat while the others set up their own tents. Savas had disappeared, and she didn't know where he'd gone. He hadn't set up their tent, so she suspected he'd set it up elsewhere for them to have more privacy.

Her thoughts were a scattered distraction, but after he returned, she was fully aware of her husband's gaze upon her. His very presence made her conscious of his body and his sinewy strength. She remembered the way he had fought at Bealtaine, and she yearned to touch him. The very thought brought a surge of heat within her.

She had barely finished eating when he reached for her hand and drew her to stand. Some of the men sent teasing smiles, and one remarked, ‘Sleep well.' But Savas picked up a torch and handed her a blanket. Then, he led her down a narrow pathway through the woods a short distance away.

‘I found a better place for us to sleep,' he said.

Beside a small stream, she saw an abandoned thatched hut. It was falling apart, and she suspected the roof leaked. Even so, she followed him when he brought her inside.

‘We're staying here tonight,' he said. And she understood, then, that he'd wanted to be alone with her. She didn't know if she was ready for this, but she hadn't lied when she'd said she wanted a true marriage between them. Somehow, she would push aside her fear and try to heal the past.

Savas lit the hearth fire, and she spread out the blanket upon the ground inside the hut. Although there were holes in the roof, Velaria could see the stars appearing in the dark lavender sky above them.

When the fire had taken hold, he unbuckled his sword belt and set it aside. She felt her body go cold with fear, and she tried to avert her gaze.

‘You never answered my question earlier,' he said. ‘Do you want me to give you pleasure? Or would you rather sleep instead?'

His words aroused her, making her wonder what he meant. ‘I don't know what I want,' she murmured, ‘except to touch you.'

His gaze warmed, and he removed his tunic to stand bare-chested before her. His shoulder still bore the scar, but it did nothing to diminish his strength.

Savas took her hand in his and brought it to his heart. Beneath her fingertips, she could feel his massive strength. And when she looked into his eyes, she saw the trust there.

Slowly, she explored his skin with her hands, tracing the stony muscles of his chest, down lower to the ridges of his stomach. His body was warm, and he admitted, ‘I am at your mercy, Velaria. Do whatever you will.'

Her hands went motionless, and she took a breath. Part of her feared it was too much like the night she'd been taken prisoner, when the men had touched her against her will. But Savas had freely invited her hands upon him.

‘I don't want to do anything you don't want,' she started to say.

‘I want everything.' His voice was husky, laced with his own desire. ‘I want your hands upon my skin.'

His words were provocative, and she could feel a shimmering ache between her legs. But it was different, wasn't it? This was her chance to give him pleasure. Something within her warmed to the idea.

And so, she came closer and stroked his broad chest, lowering her lips to his skin. He cupped her head against him, sliding back her hair.

‘I love seeing your hair free,' he admitted. He caressed the locks, and she brought her mouth to kiss a path towards his nipple. She slid her tongue across it, and he hissed, his hands tensing on her waist.

‘You took me by surprise,' he admitted. ‘Sorry.' He softened his grip, and then she came up behind him to rub his shoulders. Her fingers found the knots, and she kissed the skin of his back, gently stroking him.

When she reached his waist, she stilled her touch, afraid of going any further.

‘Every night you fought, I was afraid you wouldn't return,' he said. ‘And the day I was forced to fight you was the moment I feared most.' He tilted her chin up to look at him. ‘I would never hurt you, Velaria. Not in a thousand years.'

‘I know.' And she wanted to be a true wife to him, more than anything. ‘I want to consummate our marriage, Savas. I'm just...afraid of the way you make me feel.'

He leaned in and rested his forehead against hers. ‘Tell me.'

She didn't know how to explain it. ‘I feel like I have no control over the way my body responds to your touch. I don't like the feeling of surrendering.'

To her surprise, he smiled. ‘I have another idea. If you're willing.'

Velaria gave a nod, and Brian walked closer to the fire. He never took his eyes from her as he removed the rest of his clothing and stood naked before his wife. Her expression faltered, but she studied him, her gaze taking in all of him. She appeared startled at what he'd done, but he beckoned for her to come closer. Instead, she remained in place, her cheeks blushing.

‘Do you trust me?' he asked quietly.

‘I do, but—' Her words broke off, and she didn't finish the sentence. It didn't matter, for he understood her hesitation. And although he'd never lain with a woman, he'd received enough advice that he knew what he wanted to do.

This night was about her, about learning her body and what pleased her. And the thought of caressing that silken skin and tasting every part of her was enough to send his desire to the edge.

His wife took a moment to gather her courage, and then she reached back to loosen the laces before she removed her overdress and léine . She stood before him in only a thin linen shift, and for a moment, she faltered. ‘I'm nervous,' she confessed.

He didn't tease her but instead continued to wait, allowing her to make the decision.

Then at last, she reached down and removed her shift, pulling it over her head. The sight of her naked body stole his breath. Her body was still lean, but it had lost the look of hunger. The sight of her breasts and those long legs held him captive.

He sat down upon the blanket she'd brought and beckoned for her to come and lie beside him. She did, and he drew her body against his, so he nestled against her from behind. Then he took her hand.

‘I don't want you to be afraid of me,' he said gently. ‘But you are also the only woman I've ever touched.'

Velaria turned to face him, and there was a softness in her expression. She rested her forehead against his in silent acknowledgement before she kissed him softly. The kiss was an offering that humbled him.

When he drew back, he took both of her hands in his. ‘I want you to put my hands wherever you want them. If you want me to stop, you need only move my hand.'

In the firelight, her nipples tightened as if his words had aroused her. He ached to touch her, but he forced himself to hold back. Velaria turned around again, pressing her backside against his arousal. Brian suppressed a groan of need, and he sensed that this night would require all his control.

First, Velaria brought his hand to her stomach. He explored her skin with his fingers, gently stroking her. He could feel the tension in her body, and then she moved his hand higher to her breast.

He gently cupped the delicate flesh, learning the shape and size of her. Against his palm, he felt the tight bud of her nipple, and when he moved his hand slightly, she jolted. Immediately, he stopped.

‘It's all right,' she said. ‘It just felt good, in a way I didn't expect.'

‘Tell me,' he encouraged. Gently, he continued caressing her nipple, and he felt her squirm against him.

‘When you touch my breast, it makes me ache between my legs,' she admitted.

She guided his hand to the other breast, and he experimented with circling the nipple and pinching it gently. She gasped slightly, but it seemed as if she liked the sensation. With his thumb, he stroked the erect tip, and her body trembled.

She shifted against him, and he held his hand in place when he realised what she'd done. Now, instead of his shaft resting against her bare spine, she had guided his length between her legs. He could feel the slickness of her arousal, and it was all he could do not to move.

As he caressed her nipple, she tightened her legs, squeezing him against her wetness. It was the sweetest torment he'd ever imagined. To distract himself, he kissed her bare shoulder, and she moved again.

He realised then what she wanted. Gently, he extricated himself and rolled to his back. Then he guided her to straddle him on her knees. He put both hands upon her breasts, and as he'd hoped, she pressed herself against his arousal. Her blue eyes were blazing with her own desire, and she inched higher upon his thick length.

‘I can hardly breathe,' she admitted. But then she rubbed herself against him, arching slightly. Watching her pleasure herself with his body only heightened his own desire.

‘Take what you need from me, Velaria.' He was beyond caring. But he sat up slightly. ‘Will you let me kiss you?'

‘Yes.' She started to lean down, but he brought his mouth towards her nipple instead.

‘Here?' he asked, his breath against the hardened tip.

And when she whispered yes, he tasted heaven.