Chapter 21

Olivia Staunton was the only child of her parents, and she liked it that way.

She especially liked the way she could go on a simple walk with them and at the age of two and ten have people say how lovely she was. Her parents certainly seemed to like it too, as it was their favorite time of week.

"Look at that young girl," one of them remarked, nodding in Olivia"s direction, "She"s simply perfect. She is a credit to you, Lady Staunton."

"Oh, isn't she just?" Her mother replied, "Our pride and joy."

Olivia would later come to find out that this was seen as boastful and improper, but she never saw it that way. She only saw it as having loving parents that doted on her, and anyone that did not approve were jealous.

"She shall be a sensation on the marriage mart when the time comes," her father whispered to her mother.

Olivia"s heart fluttered, both with excitement and the smallest hint of trepidation. She knew what that meant, at least she was quite certain that she did. She would wear a gown and all of the gentlemen would fight for her hand. It would be quite the thrill.

But she was not a fool. She also knew the weight and responsibility that came with her position. She was the only child they had; her match would be proof of her family's standing and she could not allow her family to be seen as anything but perfect. It was what was expected of her at all times.

Well, almost.

"Thomas!" Olivia called out that evening as she approached the stables, "Are you here?"

A tall boy of her own age peered out at her from behind one of the horses.

"Where else would I be?" He laughed, walking over to greet her, "What brings you here?"

"The same reason as always. I have been out with my parents all day, being perfectly prim and proper as a lady should, and now I wish to be me again. I would not want to forget who I am, after all. Besides, I wanted to see how you were doing."

"You know you don"t have to worry about me, Miss Olivia. I can handle the work just fine."

"I know, Thomas, but it"s nice to lend a helping hand now and then. Plus, it gives me a chance to see my very best friend."

"Do you mean Starlight?" He asked, as the horse swished its tail.

"You know who I mean."

"I do."

"And I am still your best friend too, am I not?"

"You know perfectly well that you are."

Olivia had always felt a sense of satisfaction about that.

"You know, Miss Olivia," Thomas said, pausing to stroke the horse"s mane, "You"re the only one who treats me like an equal around here."

"Because you are my equal," she blinked, "Mama and Papa only see you differently because you are a child."

"Or something like that. No matter, I am simply glad for your company regardless."

"My parents love you, Thomas! Why else do you think they use you as my dance partner when I practice?"

"Because I am your age, and there is no need to hire a dance partner if they already have one on hand."

"Ah. Perhaps…"

"But it is as I said, I am happy about it. I enjoy spending time with you."

"And I you."

"So… You have around five years until you debut. Are you excited about it?"

"To be honest, Thomas, I"m not entirely sure what to expect," she admitted with a small frown, "I know I"ll be expected to attend balls and social gatherings, but aside from that... I"m rather clueless."

"You? I thought you were known to be the most prepared."

"Oh, no, I am certainly not. Nothing of the sort. I am simply fortunate that the ton thinks I am pretty and well-mannered. Aside from that I do not know the first thing about my upcoming role, and it is not as though Mama is any help."

"Well, I"m sure you"ll do just fine, Miss Olivia. You"re charming, and everyone loves you. You shall find a husband within a month when the time comes."

"I hope so," she smiled, "I really do. I so badly wish to make them proud of me."

But Olivia did not find a suitor within a month of debuting, nor a year, nor two.

"Olivia, my dear, the season is upon us," her mother began gently, "It"s your third season, and you know what that means."

"Yes, that I shall soon be regarded as a spinster," she groaned.

"No, it means that you are going to find a husband this year. I know it. And you know perfectly well that your father will find you a match if you struggle."

Olivia looked up from her sewing, her brow furrowing slightly.

"Must he, Mother? I have been thinking. Can"t I just enjoy the season without worrying about all this marriage business?"

"You know how important this is, Olivia. You"re a beautiful, talented young woman. There will be gentlemen interested in you, and we must ensure you make a good match."

But in both of her seasons, there had not been anyone at all. It appeared that far more than a polite smile and a deep curtsy were required of a wife, not that she had ever been made aware of that.

"But what if I don"t want to marry just yet?" She asked, "What if I want to wait until I find love?"

"Love comes in time. First, you need security, stability. An arranged marriage could provide that. Mine certainly did."

"Be that as it may, I can"t marry for anything less than love. I have no need for wealth and status, not if I am happy."

"Is this about that stable boy?"

"Mama, he is one-and-twenty, same as me. He is hardly a boy, and besides that Thomas is a friend of mine and nothing more."

"Be that as it may, you spend an awful lot of time together."

"Yes, because we are friends."

"Olivia," she sighed, "We"ve done everything we can to provide for you, to give you the best opportunities. Don"t you understand? You can"t simply throw it all away."

"I promise to keep an open mind, Mother. But don"t expect me to settle for anything less than what I truly desire."

"I will speak to your father about this, Olivia. We"ll find a way forward."

Olivia"s heart sank at the mention of her father. He loved her, of course he loved her, but he valued duty and responsibility above all else, which was not the sort of expectation that Olivia wanted to be placed upon her.

"You know how Father feels about these matters. He won"t see things the way I do. He"ll scold me for being impractical."

"I know, my dear. But I"ll do my best to make him understand. We want what"s best for you, after all."

"He believes what is best for me is a wealthy lord."

"As do I, but if that is not what makes you happy, then that is your choice. We cannot drag you down an aisle after all."

Her father did not seem to share the same sentiment. Olivia was unsure of what her mother had said to him, but she was called to his study that evening, which was never a good sign.

Olivia entered her father"s study with a sense of trepidation. He sat behind his desk, a stern expression etched upon his features. He didn"t bother to look up as Olivia entered, and she already knew that this would not be a nice discussion.

"Father," Olivia began tentatively, "You wish to speak with me?"

"I do, indeed. Please, take a seat."

Olivia complied, perching nervously on the edge of the chair opposite her father"s desk. She fidgeted with the hem of her dress, bracing herself.

"Your mother tells me you"ve been expressing some... reluctance regarding your upcoming season," he began.

"Yes, Father. I... I suppose I am simply apprehensive that, given my previous seasons, I shall find any success at all. It may be better for me to not have a season at all this year."

"Nonsense, Olivia. You"re a Staunton. It"s your duty to make a good showing of yourself in society. We have certain expectations to uphold."

Olivia"s heart sank at her father"s words. She knew all too well the weight of their family"s reputation and the pressure it placed upon her shoulders. She thought about the looks of disappointment on their faces at every ball where she merely sat on the sidelines, waiting for a dance that never came.

"I want to marry for love."

Immediately, his expression darkened, his eyes narrowing in disapproval. He thought highly of his own parents' decision to marry him off to a lady they determined to be of good wealth and breeding, even if he had never quite grown to love her.

"Love?" he scoffed, "Love is a luxury, Olivia. It"s not something to base important decisions on. You will do as you are told, and you will make a suitable match. If you cannot do that yourself, then it will be done for you. That is the end of the matter."

"But, Father –"

"Enough, Olivia. You will do as you are told, or you will find yourself without a place in this house. Is that clear?"

Olivia"s throat tightened with emotion, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She nodded silently.

"Good," Lord Staunton said curtly, returning his attention to the documents on his desk, "You may go now. I trust you will make the right decision."

Olivia rushed from her father"s study, straight to the one place she knew she would find solace, with the one person that would try to understand, even if he knew that he never could. Finding him in the stables, she poured out her troubles, her voice trembling with emotion as she recounted her father"s harsh words.

"Olivia," he said gently, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, "I"m so sorry you"re going through this. But perhaps there"s a way to escape, if only for a little while."

"What do you mean?"

Thomas"s expression brightened with sudden inspiration.

"What if we… What if we went down to the lake for a while? Just you and me. It could be our last day together before you find your match. It is only an afternoon, I know, but it is something. What do you say?"

Olivia"s heart skipped a beat at the suggestion, a flicker of hope igniting within her. There was no harm in it, just a few hours between friends in her own garden. Then again, she knew that her father was already displeased with her. She did not wish to make him angry.

"I… I don"t know," she faltered, "What if we"re caught? What if my parents find out?"

"What is the worst thing that could happen? It is your own garden, you have the right to be in it."

A hesitant smile came to her as she considered Thomas" proposal. Despite her lingering doubts, the prospect of escaping for a few precious hours with her closest friend was too enticing to resist.

"Alright," she said softly, "Let"s go to the lake."

The two separated for a while, Olivia to find some books to read and Thomas to sneak into the kitchens and throw a small picnic together. She reached for a few different ones, making sure they were not her father's favorites, and then sneaked away to the lake.

Thomas was already there, the picnic laid out before her.

"Oh, Thomas, this is perfect!"

They did not speak much, but there was no need to. What Olivia truly needed in that moment was a friend, and a moment to relax and simply be Olivia Staunton, rather than Miss Staunton, the debutante.

Had anyone seen them, perhaps they would have assumed it to be a courtship, but that couldn't have been further from the truth. They were friends, good friends, and it was a friendship that she would miss when she married. That might have had something to do with her unwillingness to marry.

"What if you did something outrageous?" Thomas asked her suddenly.

"What?" She asked, "Sneak away with the stable hand? I believe I have already done that."

"Something more. Something like… this?"

And then he was sprinting off towards the water, and before she knew it he had thrown himself in. He went under immediately, but did not resurface.

"Thomas, you are being ridiculous," she laughed gently, before realizing that he was not coming back up, "Thomas? Thomas!"

She rushed to the edge, watching the water, when suddenly he surfaced, laughing at her shocked expression.

"Did I frighten you?" He spluttered.

"And then some!"

"Well, two can play that game, you know."

"What?"

She took his suggestion seriously. Something ridiculous and outrageous was exactly what she needed.

Right until she hit the water.

She had never been taught to swim, of course, as ladies did not do such a thing as far as her parents were concerned. This was not helped by the fact that she was wearing so many different petticoats and skirts in preparation for a soiree her parents were holding that evening. They were pulling her down, and no matter how much she kicked and struggled she couldn't escape them.

Suddenly, there was an arm around her waist and a sudden lightness. She felt a layer or so of fabric peel away from her skin, and then she was floating upwards.

She took a sharp inhale when she broke the surface, and Thomas was mere centimeters from her face.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"I- I'm fine," she stammered, "Where is my gown?"

"My apologies, I had to rid you of a layer or two to help you. You are still clothed though, so fear not."

"No, it is perfectly fine. You did what was necessary," she sighed, trying to catch her breath.

He dragged her to land and lifted her up. She collapsed on her back immediately, exhausted, but as she rolled onto her side she saw a group of people rushing towards them.

"Well, I never!" A matron exclaimed, "Have you no shame, young lady?"

Olivia"s cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she realized what they were looking at. They had been there far longer than she had planned, and now her parents were there with company and they had all seen her act so shamefully. She glanced anxiously at Thomas, her heart pounding in her chest as she struggled to find the right words to appease the disapproving onlookers.

It was no easier that evening, of course. The friends left, and none of them said a word to her as they did so. She was standing for the second time that day in her father's study, wishing to be anywhere else but there.

"I have no daughter," he said coldly, unsettlingly quiet, "You have brought nothing but shame upon this family, tarnishing our name with your reckless behavior. You are no longer welcome under this roof. You will find other arrangements and you will find them now."

With those harsh words, Olivia"s fate was sealed. No suitors, no family, no home.

And it was all her fault.