Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

W e have tae find a way out, even if we die trying.

Caitlyn stared at the door in a mindless trance. The painful hunger pangs now told her when the guards would arrive. One meal a day was simply not enough, and though hunger often stopped her from sleeping, the pain was much worse in the morning. She and Edan had now been captive for just over ten days. She had been counting them, in some way, to save her sanity, but her ragged, filthy dress told her how weak she had become, for it now felt much looser on her body.

Edan was in far worse condition. The torture had been brutal, but that hadn't stopped him from trying to protect her when MacTavish had made his advances.

Yesterday, the laird had tried to kiss her but she had sunk her teeth into his hand, eliciting a strong backhanded slap across her cheek that had stung more intensely than anything she had felt before in her life. Edan had screamed at the laird, which had earned him a punch in the side of his head. Things were going from bad to worse, and Caitlyn truly believed that they did not have much time left.

When the door opened that morning, Caitlyn shook with fear. Edan was still sleeping, and she feared what MacTavish might do. Relief flooded through her at the sight of one of the guards carrying their usual bowl of porridge. At least they had never laid a finger on her.

"Get up," the guard said, kicking Edan's feet.

While Edan struggled to waken and right himself, the guard untied her hand and dropped the bowl on the floor beside her. He left the room as swiftly as he had entered it. It was the way now. Everyone knew the routine. It only changed if MacTavish arrived.

Caitlyn grabbed the bowl and shuffled herself over to Edan, but he seemed preoccupied with something else entirely. With a frown, she leaned forward to see what he was doing, when she suddenly felt a rush of heat bloom on her cheeks.

"Just give me a minute," Edan whispered.

But by the bulging mass that sat between his legs, Caitlyn imagined he was going to need more than a minute. He was desperately trying to readjust himself, which was nearly impossible, for with his hands tied at the waist, he couldn't reach that far down.

Clearly, he had been dreaming about something that pleased him, maybe Effie, and he had woken in an aroused state.

"For goodness' sake," Caitlyn huffed, feeling completely mortified. "Hurry on with it. The guard will be back soon."

"I'm sorry. Just give me a minute."

Caitlyn noticed his face was now bright red, likely both with embarrassment and effort. The more he struggled, the more mortified she felt having to sit beside him and watch. No matter what way he positioned himself, he could not adjust his… arousal.

This cannae be happening.

While she looked away, Edan continued to fight with his bindings, nearly falling over with the effort.

"Och, fer heaven's sake," Caitlyn cried.

Edan actually began to laugh, though Caitlyn was certain it was more from humiliation than anything else. Even so, the situation was so ridiculous, she found herself wanting to laugh with him.

"Can I dae it?" she said, no longer able to deal with the discomfort.

"What?" Edan balked.

Waving her free hand, she said, "I can dae it fer ye, because this situation is getting too embarrassing with ye fidgeting." Though even the suggestion made her cheeks beam even brighter.

Clearly embarrassed, Edan hesitated at her suggestion. "Ye cannae… it's nae right."

"Och, well. We should just wait until it goes down all by itself then," she hissed sarcastically.

"Caitlyn."

"Just let me dae it, it'll take nae more than a second and we forget about it forever," she demanded.

Edan threw his head back and heaved a sigh. "Fine."

Looking down at his groin in fear, Caitlyn hesitated.

"It'll nae bite ye," Edan said, struggling to hold back a chuckle.

Mortified at his words, Caitlyn hurriedly leaned over and pressed her hand against the bulge. She didn't know what to expect, but she was surprised at how solid it was.

Edan closed his eyes as she pushed at it to the side.

"Dinnae dae that," she spat. "Ye're nae meant tae be enjoying this."

He grinned. "I cannae help what I feel, Caitlyn."

"Ye are unbelievable." And with a harder shove that made Edan jerk a little, she finally pressed his hardness down between his legs, pulling her hand swiftly away.

For a long moment, neither of them said anything. They just smiled nervously and looked away. Caitlyn, however, was experiencing a strange feeling in her stomach that had completely replaced the feeling of hunger. It felt like an ache, and while unfamiliar, it was not unpleasant. It was that fact that unnerved and annoyed her.

"Let us never speak o' this again," she growled.

Edan chuckled then, annoying her even more. "O' course."

"Nay! Nay!" Caitlyn screamed.

Even with her hands still bound, she tried to fight MacTavish off, but he shoved her onto the stone floor and lifted her skirts, putting the full weight of his huge body on her, crushing her beneath him. He tried to kiss her while his hands prized her legs apart.

"Nayyy!" she screamed again.

She felt someone pushing at her body from behind as she screamed.

"Caitlyn! Caitlyn!"

The voice sounded far away, but she felt another shove in her back.

"Caitlyn, wake up. Wake up!"

With immense effort, she blinked her eyes open. Her heart thumped in her chest, and she panted with terror, too breathless to speak. Light peeked through the boards at the window, and MacTavish was nowhere to be seen.

"Caitlyn. Talk tae me. Are ye all right?" Edan said, his voice much clearer now.

The nightmare felt so real, she was now shaking from head to foot with the dread and horror of the memory of it.

"It's all right. I'm here. Tell me what happened?"

But Caitlyn did not want to speak of it. She shook her head and swallowed a sob. Tears trickled across her cheeks, and as hard as she tried, she could not stop herself from crying.

"Och, me darling," Edan whispered soothingly. "Ye're safe now. Ye're here with me."

She heard shuffling and Edan grunting behind her and imagined he was sitting up. She then felt his fingers caressing her hair.

She sobbed for a little while longer, until eventually, the emotion was drained from her body. Still, she could see that bastard on top of her, crushing her, forcing her legs apart. Shaking her head to try and rid herself of the image, she pushed herself to sit up.

Now beside Edan, and with her back to the wall, she cleared her throat. "Tell me something," she pleaded. "Anything tae get these thoughts from me head."

"What thoughts?"

"I dinnae want tae talk about it," she cried.

"All right. All right," Edan said soothingly. Turning his body closely into hers, he took hold of the sleeve of her dress. "Then I will tell ye something ye have never kent about me."

Sniffling, Caitlyn frowned. "What?"

"When we first met as children, I liked ye from the moment I laid eyes on ye."

"What?" Her jaw dropped in utter astonishment, and reeling from his remark, Caitlyn could only stare at him. "But… but, ye were so wicked," she gawked.

"I ken. And I also ken it wasnae fair." He shrugged, and then said, "But I had me reasons."

"What reasons?" Caitlyn pressed. "Ye spent years teasing me, fighting with me, doing wicked things. Ye made me life a misery."

Edan sighed and nodded. "I ken that too. I remember it all."

"But why, Edan. Ye're nae making any sense. If ye liked me, why treat me so horribly?"

For a moment, he was quiet, and then, he said. "I ken ye dinnae understand, but it was me way o' coping. I couldnae have ye, and so, I found my solution tae stay away."

"But ye didnae stay away. Ye just tortured me."

"I never meant tae make yer life a misery, Caitlyn. I'm sorry about that. Maybe a part o' me wanted ye tae hate me. It made it easier, but only a little. Believe me, it was harder fer me than it was fer ye."

"I doubt that." She smirked.

Edan smiled, but it wasn't his usual grin. It was a soft, sad smile. "These last couple o' weeks have only reminded me o' what I've always desired, but could never have."

Still reeling from his disclosure, Caitlyn could hardly believe what she was hearing. In fact, she still couldn't imagine it to be true.

"Ye mean, me?" she breathed, needing him to confirm it.

"Aye, Caitlyn," he gazed at her with soft eyes. "I mean ye."

Edan was so very close to her now, she could feel his warm breath on her cheek. These last couple of weeks had done things to her too, though the feelings she had tried to repress were not from years ago.

She had witnessed an entirely different side to Edan MacLachlan. A side that had always been there, but she had chosen to ignore. Being captive with long hours of doing nothing, she had spent a lot of time thinking of all he had suffered for both herself and her family. Everything she had felt about him before their capture had dissipated. Now, she could only see the courageous, resilient, brave man who had always been there.

"Ye were always the one, Caitlyn," Edan whispered.

When he bent his head toward her, Caitlyn did not pull away. That same pleasant sensation swirled in her tummy, like a powerful waterfall raging within her. She leaned her head toward him, and just as their lips were about to brush, the hard cold sound of metal sliding open shocked them into pulling swiftly apart.

Shaken out of the reverie that had captivated her, Caitlyn sat bolt upright as the door flew open. To her relief, it was a guard that stormed in, and not Laird MacTavish. Thinking about the horrid man made her shiver as her nightmare flew back into her thoughts.

In fact, she realized that the laird had not been near them for the last couple of days. It had given them both some reprieve. Edan had been given a chance to rest and heal from the pummeling the laird seemed to take such pleasure in giving.

But his absence made Caitlyn curious, and as the guard helped her to her feet, she said, "Has the laird given up on us?"

He sneered. "Ye should be grateful he's been away. But he'll be back in a few days. Dinnae worry. He hasnae forgotten about ye."

A few days.

That was the best news she had heard in a while. As he dragged her out of the room and down the corridor, she could feel the relief washing over her. The guard untied her hand and opened the closet, pushing her inside. Caitlyn was crouching over the bucket and doing what was necessary, when she heard whispering voices just outside the door.

A breathless voice said, "They're gone. All o' them. Someone didnae close the stable door last night."

"Well, get the stable hand tae help ye." It was the guard who had brought her from the room.

"There's too many. He cannae dae it alone. We need tae go after them. If the laird finds out we've lost our horses, he'll have our heads on spikes."

"Fine. Ye three go. I'll stay here," the guard said.

"Can ye handle them?" the breathless voice asked worriedly.

"Och, away with ye. It's a girl and a cripple. Now go, and hurry up."

A moment later, silence resumed. Caitlyn could only assume that the other three guards, those who had been watching over them this entire time, were now running in the direction they thought the horses might be.

This is our chance. It might be our only chance.

Excitement and terror ran through her in equal measures. Edan could not help her. He was still bound. If they were to escape, she would need to do this on her own.

What if I fail?

She pushed that thought aside. She would sooner die trying than not try at all. Edan would likely not survive another session with MacTavish. If she did not do this now, the laird would surely kill them anyway.

Think, Caitlyn.

As she wondered how to best take advantage of this opportunity, Caitlyn tried to think of a way to overpower the only guard left. He was too strong for her to fight. There had to be another way.

The guards have dirks tucked intae their belts. If I can just get tae it.

"Are ye done?" the guard barked from outside.

Caitlyn jumped at his unexpected intrusion. "Aye. I'm coming now. Just a minute."

Hurriedly, she loosened the rope on her tied hand, but positioned it in such a way that it looked like her wrist was still bound. If this was going to work, she was going to need both hands.

Opening the closet door, she stepped out and positioned herself to his right. Clearly, he thought little of it, and grabbing her arm, marched her forward. A little way up the corridor, she began to sway from one side to the other, moaning a little, and lifting her free hand to her head.

"What the hell's wrong with ye?" he growled.

"Och, I feel dizzy," Caitlyn moaned.

In that same moment, she pretended her legs had given way, and leaned heavily into him.

"What the devil?" he barked.

Her lack of balance forced him to use both his hands to support her, which is exactly what she wanted. Swiftly regaining her equilibrium, Caitlyn reached for the dirk, pulling it out of his belt.

"Hey!"

But before the guard had a chance to stop her, she drove the dagger into his side, over and over again in a frenzied attack. Maybe it was fear, or the terror, or pure desperation, but by the time she had finished, her hands were covered with blood.

"Och, me god."

The guard lay on the ground beside her, and for a second, she stared at him in utter shock. Is he alive? Dear God, did I kill him? Her body began to shake in realization that she might have just murdered a man, and her feet seemed to be planted to the floor.

Move, Caitlyn. Move now or ye're going tae die here!

She listened to that little voice inside her head, and with forceful effort, lifted one foot and then the other, until eventually, she was running toward the room she had been held in for all this time.

Bursting through the door, she saw Edan jump with fright. He glared at her; his eyes wide. His stare fell to her hands as they shook in front of her. She was still gripping the knife, the warm blood on her skin.

"It's all right, Caitlyn. Come tae me. Come on. Bring the dirk tae me."