Chapter 6

It was time for the first dance of the newlyweds. Penelope stood before James, trembling, trying to steady her nerves. She wanted to look anywhere else but at him, feeling too drawn to him, feeling that if she kept her eyes focused on his, she would lose control of herself and kiss him. She silently reminded herself of what she had been taught at the nunnery.

The pleasure of the flesh is a sin. The phrase echoed inside her mind, but each time she heard it, it was less and less audible.

As the soft strains of the music filled the air, he reached out for her hand. She allowed him possession of it. She wondered what else she would allow him the possession of, if only they were not surrounded by so many people, but rather, if they were in the sanctity of her bed chamber. The thought made her blush fervently. It was not something she should have been thinking of.

His other hand gently pulled her closer to him, and they started to move. He was natural at leading them, their movements synchronized in a graceful waltz. With each step, she felt more and more drawn to him, without knowing why. She knew nothing about him. She did not even know the simplest things about him and his character, such as whether he was a good person or not.

She reminded herself that he went on with the wedding without forcing her father to face any repercussions for hiding the fact that he would not be marrying Vanessa as they had agreed upon. He did not shout. He did not act aggressively in any manner. He merely agreed to it. However, that was not necessarily a sign of a good character. It was a sign of a calm, cautious character, and she knew those sorts of people were the most dangerous. The thought of her husband being dangerous made her feel an entire concoction of emotions, and she could not make head or tail of it. She decided not to dwell on it for now. Time would show all. It always did. She just had to be patient.

"You have been married for an entire minute," she suddenly heard him say as he drew her in close as the waltz demanded of him, moving in perfect harmony to the rhythm of the music. "How does it feel?"

Their gazes locked at that moment, and she wondered if it was the same desire that she could see in his eyes. She swallowed heavily, feeling nervous. She knew her hands were getting clammy, resting in his, and embarrassment completely took over, adding to an even more fervent flushing of the cheeks.

"The same," she managed to muster.

Her comment made him smile. "Exactly," he agreed. "Nothing needs to change… apart from maybe just a thing or two."

Her doe eyes widened, wondering if she understood him correctly, for that had been her unspoken fear, the one she refused to even acknowledge, let alone talk to someone about it. She had never kissed a man. She had never had a man touch her in a way that a husband touched his wife, but despite this utter lack of knowledge, she knew what happened after the wedding. Night would come, and it would bring… change.

Nothing needs to change… apart from maybe a thing or two.

Exactly. That had to be what he was referring to. Starting to breathe heavily, she tried to come up with an idea that might buy her some time before their marriage was to be consummated. Although, as a wife, it was her duty. Had not she agreed to do all of her duties when he asked her?

"Yes," she managed to muster, deciding that it would be easier to simply agree rather than fall into a conversation that might lead to an argument in front of everyone.

No. She had to buy herself time, ponder her options cautiously, and then come up with a strategy that would help her remain untouched for as long as possible.

At that moment, as if reading her mind, the duke's hand brushed against the small of her back, sending shivers down her spine. She almost moaned from the sensations his touch awakened in her while her own hand rested on his shoulder. She continued to follow his guidance, painfully aware of the fact that all eyes were on them, and she wished with all her heart that they were not.

Finally, the music stopped, and the duke suddenly released her from his grip. Her body silently yearned for his touch, without any explanation as to why that desire was so powerful, so overwhelming. He bowed before her without a word then turned around and got lost in the crowd of guests, who started to fill the dance area with the music spilling all around them.

Penelope had no idea why he would leave her so abruptly, but she decided not to question anything he did. It served no point. It would be like predicting the weather, locked up in a room without any windows. So, she fixed her smile and tried to find Adeline in the crowd of other people. As soon as she spotted her, she headed in her direction, hoping for some comfort in the presence that was her younger sister.

* * *

"Congratulations! I had my doubts that things would go according to plan, but they did and marvelously so!" Penelope heard her father's words as he stood by her side.

She was hoping to have a quiet moment with her sister. Well, as quiet as the circumstances allowed, but upon seeing the sisters together, both their mother and father approached them to congratulate Penelope once again.

"Well, now everything that is left is for us to find a suitable husband for Adeline when the time comes," their father said in a playfully conspiratorial manner. He leaned closer to her, wrapping his arms around her. "If there is any young gentleman who might have caught your eye, my dear, you must tell me, so we can uhm… prepare everything for the future."

Adeline was obviously caught off guard by that comment, blushing, but managing to nod with a smile. "I will tell you, Father. But I assure you that I do not look at any gentleman in that manner. I am too focused on my books."

"Yes, yes, as you should be, but one can always be prepared," he concluded then he turned to his wife. "How about we go and get ourselves some drinks, my dear?"

His wife nodded obediently, not paying any more attention to either of her two daughters, and instead, accepting her husband's proffered arm and being led away. Penelope waited until they were gone to grab Adeline by the hand and lead her to a slightly more secluded corner of the grand ballroom where she could breathe in peace.

"Are you all right?" Adeline inquired tenderly.

"I am," Penelope nodded with reassurance. "Just… there are too many people here. In the last five years, I have gotten used to the serenity of the nunnery."

"Of course," Adeline nodded compassionately. "I can't even begin to imagine what a difference this must be for you."

Penelope smiled at her sister's words. It was a small kindness, but small kindnesses in situations such as the one she had found herself in were seen as much greater. "Thank you, dear Adeline," Penelope whispered, squeezing her sister's hand.

"Why don't I get us some drinks too?" Adeline suggested.

"A lemonade for me, please," Penelope instructed politely.

Adeline nodded then hurried away to the refreshments table, leaving Penelope alone in a crowd full of people. The lively festivities of the wedding celebrations were in full bloom by this point, and everyone seemed to be having a lovely time. Despite the joyous atmosphere, an unsettling feeling gnawed at Penelope, and only then was she starting to become aware of it. She felt as if invisible eyes bored into her very soul.

Adeline returned shortly with two glasses of lemonade, offering Penelope one which she accepted gratefully. She took a quick, thirsty sip then inhaled loudly. Adeline huddled close to her, as if sensing her discomfort. Penelope did not want to divulge her fears, but she felt reassured that Adeline would understand her. If anyone would, it would be her sister.

She leaned over to Adeline, whispering into her ear. "You know, I can't escape the feeling that everyone here is watching me," she confided to her sister, her voice barely audible over the music and laughter.

Adeline turned to her with a reassuring chuckle. "Well, of course, they are, Penelope. You are the bride, after all. All eyes are naturally drawn to you on your wedding day."

But Penelope shook her head, her brow furrowed with concern. "It's more than that," she insisted. "It is as if there's something else, something I can't quite grasp. Like they know something I don't."

"Like what?" Adeline wondered.

"I don't know," Penelope's voice trailed off slowly.

Adeline's smile faltered slightly, sensing the gravity of her sister's words. "Perhaps it is just the nerves and the way everything has taken place. This is hardly an ordinary marital match."

"No," Penelope had to chuckle herself. "It most certainly isn't that."

"See?" Adeline grinned cheerfully. "Try not to dwell on it too much. I am sure it's nothing."

"You are probably right," Penelope pretended to agree although she was still not convinced. The eyes that were upon her were not the eyes of well-wishers. They were eyes of curiosity, eyes of sympathy, even eyes of fear. Still, she tried not to think about it.

As the evening drew to a close and the guests began to depart, Penelope found herself bidding farewell to her family in the foyer of the grand hall. The three of them stood before her, their expressions a mixture of exhaustion and relief after the long day of festivities. Penelope approached her parents first, her movements hesitant as she tried to muster some semblance of emotion for the impending farewell. This one did not differ from the last farewell they had. Actually, it did. This one made her even more indifferent toward them if such a thing was even possible. She gave them both a hasty, stiff embrace, devoid of any warmth, and they returned it in the same manner.

"Goodbye, Mother. Goodbye, Father," she murmured, her words lacking the sincerity she knew they desired because her husband was standing by her side, and they probably wished to leave him with a good impression. Unfortunately for them, she could not muster such a sentiment. There was a palpable distance between them, an unspoken barrier that had long existed but had only grown more pronounced by this momentous occasion.

Turning to her sister, Penelope's heart softened as a flicker of genuine emotion ignited within her. She wrapped her arms around Adeline, and they shared a lingering embrace. They exchanged whispered words of love and affection.

"Take care of yourself, my dear sister," Adeline whispered, her voice tinged with sadness.

"And you, too," Penelope replied, her voice catching slightly with the same emotion. "Don't forget what we agreed."

"I will not." Adeline's face lit up at those words.

The duke proceeded to bid them farewell, too, and then Penelope's family had gone, leaving her with a stranger as her new family. But she did not have any time to start feeling uneasy or restless. More guests were leaving, and she had to play the part of the good host, the dutiful new duchess, thanking them for their time and wishes before their departure.