Chapter 17

I’m coming off my shift at the café when Carla texts me. The sun is setting beautifully, reds and pinks melting over Anaheim, and I stare at the screen for a hot second, noticing the image attachment.

Your boyfriend says hi, Carla writes in her text.

The image, however, makes me instantly nauseated. She’s kissing Orion’s cheek. He doesn’t look too happy about it, but the mere fact that he allowed her to get that close sends my thoughts reeling, my reason exploding into sheer fury. “That bitch,” I growl and struggle to take deep breaths.

Red taillights melt into the late-afternoon traffic as people try to get home sooner rather than later. All I can think about is how long it will take me to get from here to the clubhouse. I’m going to teach that bitch a lesson once and for all.

She’s teasing me, trying to piss me off, stirring shit at the worst possible time. The Blackthorn Riders are dealing with unprecedented violence and the constant threat of death from Colton Harrow. They’re keeping me away from the clubhouse for precisely that reason. They’re struggling to save their MC and to gather enough manpower to hold their defense against the Black Devils when they come.

On top of that, I’m pregnant and have zero patience left for this kind of nonsense. If I don’t react, if I don’t do something, Carla will take it as a sign of weakness. She’ll try something else. And while I don’t think it’ll work out in her favor, it could land her in a different sort of trouble.

As I get behind the wheel and take a look at myself in the rearview mirror, it hits me. I’m jealous. I shouldn’t feel this way but given the tension that we’ve been entertaining in an already complicated relationship, I can’t help but worry. What if Carla is capable of worming her way back into their bed? She’s desperate enough to take the three of them if it means she gets to keep Orion all to herself. Oh, God, just the thought of it makes me want to throw up.

I drive up to the clubhouse, cursing like a sailor through every single red light.

When I arrive, the atmosphere is wholly different from what I expected. As soon as I walk through the door, the thick and damn near unbreathable air hits me.

“Nadia? What the fuck are you doing here?” Orion blurts out, eyes wide with shock.

Carla is keeping her distance and has a broken bottle of beer pointed at him. “You stay the fuck away from me, Orry, I am not giving you my phone!” she says.

“What the hell is going on here?” I ask.

Drake and Kai are just as stunned, staring at me in sheer disbelief while Travis freezes behind the bar. I give him a curious look, but all he can do is shrug, sincerely ignorant of whatever has been unfolding right under his nose.

“You’re not supposed to be here, Nadia,” Orion says.

“I just got a photo from Carla,” I reply, then look at her. “What the hell was that about?”

“When the fuck did you send her the photo?” Orion asks Carla, then scoffs as he seems to put two and two together. “That’s what this was about? Driving a wedge between us and Nadia? Stirring up shit?”

Carla’s self-satisfied cackle captures my attention. Orion, Drake, and Kai seem genuinely infuriated and confused, yet one look at her and I understand precisely what she’s been doing. “Girl, you’re such an idiot to think you’d ever have a shot with them in the long run,” Carla tells me. Bitterness drips from her every word as she takes a couple of steps back.

“So, you’re still trying to prove your dumbass point,” I reply bluntly. “It’s pathetic, Carla. I thought we got past that.”

“We’ll never get past it, not while you’re still breathing.”

Orion reaches her in a flash and grabs her by the arm. “That’s it. You’re fucking banned from the club and all of our premises, the clubhouse, in particular,” he says, his voice stern and furious.

“Orry, hold on, I was just messing around,” she tries to plead with him, but it’s too late.

A split-second later, she practically flies out the door while every single club member present stares in blank disbelief. I’m not sure anyone knows precisely how this whole thing escalated; however, Carla clearly tried to drag me into a situation of her own making to hurt me. All she managed to do was get herself thrown out.

“Crazy bitch,” I hear one club member say to another.

Orion comes back with an alarmed look on his face. “You can’t be seen here, Nadia.”

“Well, tough luck, I’m already here. But I wouldn’t be if Carla hadn’t—” I fail to deliver the last part of my statement as Orion takes me upstairs. Drake and Kai followed closely behind.

Once we’re upstairs behind closed doors, the atmosphere shifts considerably. They soften as they look at me for what feels like forever. It’s as if the tension flooding the ground floor of the clubhouse cannot possibly ascend beyond the four walls of their private office.

It”s been days since I’ve seen my men, and the last time we spoke, I was so angry, so scared, and insecure. “I could’ve handled that whole conversation better,” I tell them, feeling the need to concede, my gaze darting from Orion to Drake, then to Kai and back, “at the gas station, I mean.”

“We weren’t too considerate either,” Orion says with a heavy sigh, running a hand through his messy, salt and pepper hair. “We’re in the middle of a bloody war, Nadia. It’s hard for us to allow ourselves even the slightest vulnerability.”

“How can we promise you a life together when we’re not sure we’re going to make it past next week?” Kai scoffs, shaking his head slowly. He’s letting his beard grow—bold black but specked with plenty of silver. “Why break your heart like that?”

My heart is aching, yes, but not in that sense. “If today is all we have, why not make the most of it, then?” I say. “I know it’s what you were trying to tell me. I just needed some time to process it, I guess.”

“It’s not fair to you,” Drake says. “Keeping you hidden like this is not fair. You deserve better.”

“And so do you,” I reply. “No one wants to live with this constant need to look over their shoulder. Ever since you told me about Colton and his demands, I’ve been doing the same. It wasn’t until I drove up here that I realized I was constantly checking the rearview mirror, hoping I didn’t pick up a tail on my way. The what-if scenarios that I’ve been trying not to think about … how do the three of you live, knowing you’ve got a whole group of people intent on killing you?”

The men exchange glances. “We’re sort of used to it,” Orion says. “Navy SEALs may be prime fighters, but it also makes us favorite targets for pretty much any insurgent looking to get some clout and appreciation from his fellow warmongers. There used to be bounties on our heads every other week or so.”

“We’d make bets as to which of us would end up in the next ‘Most Wanted’ dark web alert,” Kai chuckles dryly. “I won by a long shot every time.”

“Except Orry is the big prize today,” Drake says, exhaling sharply. “He’s the club president, the big kahuna.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Orion says. “We always do.”

“I’m sorry I was so difficult,” I reply, my chest suddenly feeling lighter as the words come out. “I know you’re just trying to keep me safe. And I understand why our relationship is taboo, even without Colton’s shadow hanging over us. I’m not dumb, just frustrated.”

Orion comes close, taking me in his arms. I lose myself in his embrace, and he kisses my lips ever so softly. “You have every reason to feel that way,” he says, his gaze softening as his eyes search my face. “Nadia, we’re in a difficult situation here. We can’t guarantee we’ll have our lives tomorrow, let alone months from now. But I need you to understand that we want it. I want it—badly, with you and no one else.”

“We all want it,” Kai adds, joining Drake as they huddle around me.

Once more, everything disappears. The world and its troubles wither away like wisps of smoke as I surrender to this precious moment, this one instance where the fates are aligned and in perfect sync.

“I want it, too,” I say, my breath ragged as their hands begin to roam up and down my body.

My breasts feel so tender and soft in Kai’s firm grip. He notices me wincing. “Am I hurting you?”

“I love it,” I whisper. And I do. It’s a new sensation, definitely correlated to my pregnancy. I’ve been mulling over whether or not I should tell them and I’ve decided not to just yet. This isn’t the time or the place. I need them focused on what comes next because Colton won’t stop unless they stop him first. And based on what both Paddy and Dad have told me, there’s only one way that this is going to end. “Don’t stop.”

Until then, I will take what they so gladly wish to give me. “Just like that,” I whimper as he squeezes my nipples through the fabric of my shirt.

Before long, my clothes are on the floor on top of theirs.

The four of us are naked, our bodies hot and wanting. Orion captures my mouth and kisses me like a famished animal, his tongue wrestling mine while Kai gets down on his knees behind me, his lips closing over my wet pussy. He licks me over and over, my core tightening when his fingers slide through my slick folds.

My hands are busy. One stroking Orion’s cock, the other focused on Drake’s while he fondles my sensitive breasts, fingers kneading the flesh and sending jolts of pure lightning through my bones.

“We have today, right now,” Orion whispers as Kai bends me over and spears me with his thick cock. I’m stretched so wide, and I don’t want it to end. If anything, I want more—harder, deeper.

Kai senses my need and obliges wholeheartedly. I take Orion and Drake in my mouth while Kai fucks me hard from behind, hard and fast, pounding like a beast as he grips my hips firmly, his fingers digging into me. He buries himself within me as he comes, his seed filling me to the brim before he gives Drake his turn.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Nadia,” Drake grunts, his thrusts intensifying while his hand comes around my hip and draws circles over my clit.

Kai lounges on the sofa, watching with lazy eyes and a satisfied grin as I handle Orion and Drake with great care and unending love because that’s what this is. I see it now. It’s love, the purest kind, wrapped in shamelessness and decadence, but it is love, the kind of love that nothing and nobody can ever destroy.

“Come in my mouth,” I tell Orion, my fingers wrapped around his throbbing erection.

Drake slaps my ass as he fucks me into oblivion, fingers flicking my swollen clit until I come crying, until Orion spills his seed on my tongue and down my throat with a husky growl, holding my head in place with both hands so he can give me everything. I look into his dark eyes as he climaxes, shoving his cock deep in my mouth as I swallow every salty, precious drop.

“I love the taste of you,” I manage as Drake’s hand comes around again.

My pussy ripples in sweet ecstasy as he lets himself go, panting and thrusting until he’s got nothing left to give. The three of us sit on the sofa in the afterglow, naked and sweating, hands on one another, catching our breath as we realize that this was one of the most emotionally intense sessions we’ve ever had.

There are unspoken words, words of love and affection that none of us dare to say out loud. I will find the courage to say them someday, provided we survive the coming storm. My body and soul sing with profound satisfaction. I feel safe and protected in their arms.

It doesn’t matter that there’s a lunatic with a pack of bloodthirsty followers out there itching to destroy the Blackthorn Riders. It doesn’t matter that Carla tried to pull that pathetic stunt, either. If anything, she buried herself the minute she sent that text because all it did was bring me closer to my men.

I can’t help but smile.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Orion asks, half-smiling as he gazes my way.

“You mean, aside from that double orgasm?” I giggle. “Nothing much. I’m just enjoying the moment, Orry. It’s all I can do.”

“We’ll do everything we can to stay with you, Nadia,” Kai feels the need to say, his brow furrowed as he stares ahead. “I have no intention of going down anytime soon.”

“Neither do I,” Drake echoes.

“Same,” Orion adds.

It fills me with hope to hear them say such things. A man with nothing to lose may not fear death, but he may not cherish life too much, either. Whereas a man who is determined to live will fight death off with everything he’s got. “Come home to me, all of you, come home to me. No matter what you have to do, no matter what happens,” I say.

It”s my way of giving them carte blanche, of abandoning every sense of morality in favor of love and survival. These men are fighters, trained killers long before they came back to the States. Colton has no idea what kind of beasts he’s about to unleash.

I’m not sure what scares me more—the prospect of losing my men in the upcoming fight, of them being hurt or potentially worse, or the prospect of them losing themselves as they burn the Black Devils down to the ground.

They will abandon their humanity to win this war.

Will they be able to come back from that, or will they forever be drifting, their souls torn from their bodies as the ghosts of those they’re about to murder haunt them for the rest of their lives? And how will I be able to build a life with them? How will I raise a child with them? It seems like there isn’t a truly good or satisfying answer, no matter how I pose the question.

There is no happy ending here, is there?