Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

" I don't know how else to tell you this, but I do not think you can be like your father even if you tried," Benedict said, handing Samuel a glass of alcohol.

Samuel took a sip as he heaved a sigh. The party had ended moments after his outburst, as Benedict and his mother ushered the last of the guests out of the house. They had been buzzing with excitement, desperate to get more information.

The dinner party had turned out to be the most entertaining thing that had happened in a while, and those who had missed it would soon hear about it from their friends, filled with deep regret for missing out on what turned out to be theater.

Samuel did not care much about any of that. He had meant it when he said he did not care about the opinions of the members of the ton, although he knew it would not be the same for Nora. Although she was strong, she was also a lady, and that meant that she would face more judgment from people than he would—not that he would ever let it get to that.

Samuel sighed as he stared out the window. Benedict clapped him on the back before taking a seat. He had turned out to be like his father, after all. He had hurt a man in the throes of passion. Losing himself because he fell in love with Nora had been one of the reasons that had stopped him from wishing to have a wife. He had seen what love did to people, and now he'd experienced it firsthand.

"Samuel, I need you to know that I am not saying this to console you as a friend, but anyone in your shoes would have done the same thing. You were only trying to protect Nora from that monster. That doesn't make you like your father. Instead, it suggests that you are different from the kind of man he was."

He nodded, although he could not bring himself to accept his friend's words. It made sense that he would protect the person he loved no matter what. However, his father had been prone to violence and cruelty. It would only take so little for him to begin to toe the line and continue the legacy his father had left behind.

"I don't know, Benedict. I have never felt such rage as I did at that moment. It was like something took over me and I couldn't stop myself even if I tried to," he said, looking down at his hand.

His knuckles were bruised from the heavy blow he landed to Lord Worlington's chin. He should've been able to stop himself and Lord Worlington with his words, but instead, he had done more than that, and that was unforgivable.

A knock sounded at the door that had been left slightly ajar, and the Dowager Duchess walked in, wearing a small smile.

"Can I please speak with my son a moment, Benedict?" she asked, walking into the center of the room.

"Certainly, Your Grace," Benedict said, getting up from the chair to excuse them.

Samuel's jaw ticked wildly as he waited for his mother to tell him exactly what he knew to be true. He was turning into his father.

Instead, she remained standing in front of him, peering down at him until he was forced to look up at her.

"I don't wish to speak to you, Mother," he said, still angry at her and also self-conscious.

She was the only one who knew exactly what had transpired with his father. Although he had told Benedict about it, his friend had not been there to witness it directly.

"It will only be a minute, I promise," she said, taking the seat opposite him.

She stared at him for moments until he wondered what it was she saw as she looked at him.

"The note you received. It was from Lady Marina," she said, looking away from him as she blushed.

Samuel stared at her in shock. It was the first time he had seen her look so vulnerable. However, it did not come as a surprise to him that she had been the one responsible for it.

"I cannot say that I am surprised, Mother. I suspected that you had something to do with it," he said.

She sat up straight, heaving a sigh. "It was the only way I could think to get you what you needed even though you have been fighting me on it. I was actually planning to make you get caught in a scandal with Lady Marina."

"When I first heard the sound and whispers that you had been caught with a lady in the study, I thought it was her, and for a moment, although I did not wish to trick you into marriage, I was content to have done what needed to be done to ensure that you would be married."

Samuel stared at her, utterly speechless. He had thought that she only wished to set him up with Lady Marina so he would be forced to speak with her. He hadn't thought that she would go this far.

"I never would have believed that you would go as far as risking the family's reputation to get your way," he said, unable to understand why she couldn't just let him do things the way he wanted.

"I thought you were determined to never marry, and I did what I believed needed to be done," she said, standing up from her seat and walking over to the window. "I know that you are a true gentleman and you would never have allowed a lady to come to ruin, so I had counted on that to ensure that you would be married before winter came."

She turned to face him now, her eyes boring into his. "I had never expected that you would fall in love." She waved her hands in the air.

"Love is a fickle and foolish thing, and I believe it will fade away with time. However, I suppose I should be content that you will at least marry," she said.

"You do not approve of my choice of a wife, I know that," he said. "But Nora will make an excellent duchess."

"You are right. I do not approve of her, but I suppose it doesn't matter, after all. It is as you said—it is none of my business." She offered him a small smile, which he returned.

His smile faded as he remembered what he had done. "I punched Lord Worlington."Swinton."

Samuel stared in shock as his mother laughed out loud. He had never seen her laugh so freely before, only managing a smile and a peal of half-hearted practiced laughter when she was with the ladies in her circle. She had always been so stern and cold that it was a shock to see her like this.

"Good," she said, smiling. "In truth, I have always hated the man. I'm glad that someone has finally given him a taste of his own medicine."

Samuel was dumbfounded. The woman before him was nothing like the woman he had always known and the memories of her he carried in his heart.

"You need not appear so shocked. Although Julia and I have never been friends, I have seen her hiding her bruises way too many times for me to care about him. Somebody had to do it, and if your father was alive, he probably would have done the same."

Samuel shook his head, his smile and shock fading, only to be replaced with anger. "This is what I never wanted to be. A man like father. Violent and cruel for no reason other than the pleasure of it."

The Dowager Duchess nodded in agreement. "You are right, your father was very cruel and violent with you. However, he was never that way with anyone else. Especially not with his wife."

Samuel stared into her eyes. He could see the honesty in them.

"I never approved of the way that your father treated you. However, I was never allowed to voice my objections no matter how strongly I felt. His father raised him in the same way that he raised you because he believed that was the only way to raise a duke right to grow up fearless and deserving of the title," she explained, returning to her seat.

"That was what he was taught. However, you are right to hate him for choosing to treat you in a way that had caused him pain, even when he could have done things differently."

Samuel looked away. He had not expected that he would ever hear any of this from his mother. Suddenly, things appeared different from how he had always viewed them.

"You do not have to raise your son to be that way. You could be different. When things don't work, you try a different approach. I'm sure you have used that logic in your business before," she reasoned.advised.

Samuel rested his head on his chair, suddenly exhausted. "This is why I have never wished to marry. It only serves to bring heartache and misunderstanding to one or all parties involved."

She laughed once again. "Marriage is not what we imagine it to be when we are younger and still read fairytales."

Her face fell, and her brow furrowed as she sighed. "You never had the chance to grow up with a fairytale notion of marriage, however flawed it would have been. I suppose none of it matters now. You no longer have the option of remaining unwed. After all, you have fallen in love."

She got up, heading for the door. She stopped and turned around. "You do not have to worry about turning into a man like your father. You will never be like him, that much is obvious. However, if you still fear that it is a possibility, I will be there to make sure that it doesn't, and I suspect the lady will do so as well."

Samuel smiled at her, grateful that she had not invalidated his fears or made him feel worse, as it often happened whenever they had a conversation, however rare it was.

"Samuel, I am sorry I did not stop your father from treating you the way he did. I know it does not excuse it, but I was young, and he was master of the house. It seemed like my hands were tied," she said. "I cannot say for certain now whether that would have remained the case if things happened now, and I suppose that says a lot."

She turned and left, leaving him in the quiet room to ponder on his thoughts and come to a decision. The one certainty was that he would be visiting Lord Worlington tomorrow. There had never been anything more certain than that.

He stood to retrieve the decanter and fill the glass when he noticed Nora's letter in front of the fireplace. In all the commotion that had ensued, he had forgotten to pick it back up. Samuel bent to retrieve it, glad that it hadn't been thrown into the fire or trampled on by the people who had filed into the room to witness the moment he was caught with her.

His thoughts drifted to Nora. Was she asleep? He doubted anyone would be able to sleep at a time like this when they were plagued by thoughts of their possible ruination.

Wait for me, Nora. I promise not to ever abandon you.

He would keep that promise even if he broke anything else. He hadn't told her he loved her, nor did he tell her that he wished to marry her. He hoped she would not worry herself with the thought that she had trapped him into a marriage he did not want.

Samuel remained awake until sunlight filteredthrough his window, plagued by the idea that she worried he would not want her.