Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

T he sun rays shined brightly into the room, waking Samuel from his slumber. He groaned, lifting a hand to protect his face from the sudden brightness. His eyes adjusted to the space, and he looked down at the woman fast asleep beside him.

She was every bit as beautiful asleep as she was when she was awake. She moved in her sleep, freeing his hand from under her body. He pulled her closer to him, breathing in the scent of her hair, a mix of flowers and oils.

He tensed suddenly. It was the first time that he had ever spent the night with a woman until the next morning, and the first time he'd ever slept holding her in his arms like that. His jaw ticked wildly. He should not have been so affected by it, and yet it filled him with irritation that he was so happy to have her wrapped in his arms like that.

Samuel had made his seven-night rule because it helped him to avoid the problem of developing feelings for the woman he was with. He could never develop feelings for her, not when he knew he couldn't marry her.

Her light snores drew his attention back to her, and he sighed. There she was, innocently asleep as his mind raced. How could he marry her when it would only bring her pain?

He rubbed a hand down his face in agitation and confusion. This was not the way things were supposed to go. He shouldn't be developing feelings for her, especially since he had only spent five nights with her, the fifth of which she had only accepted merely to tell him that she was putting an end to their agreement.

Samuel could never give her hope of anything more between them. He could never marry her, nor did he want to. He couldn't risk turning out to be as cruel as his father was.

His mother had been nonchalant towards him, but he knew that although they had an understanding, she too had understood just how cruel the man she married truly was. Samuel couldn't risk marrying Nora and turning out to be the very man he hated being around.

The thought of having kids with her was not something he could stomach. She would want kids if he could ever bring himself to marry her. He couldn't do that, knowing the kind of father and husband he would be.

Some men were meant to be neither husbands nor fathers, and he turned out to be one of them.

He turned towards her as she turned in her sleep and woke up. Her eyes fluttered open slowly, and she squinted against the brightness of the room. Samuel grimaced. He had gotten so lost in thought that he forgot to close the windows to block out the sunlight.

"Good morning, Your Grace," she said in a sleepy voice that still held much sleep.

"Good morning," Samuel responded. He looked her over, his heart bleeding as he realized that there was no easy way out of this.

His decision to stay away from her would only hurt the two of them. However, staying would also hurt them. He could only make the decision that would be better for them in the long run.

"Have you been awake for long?" she asked him, stretching.

"No, I only just woke up," he said, rolling off the bed.

He splashed water on his face as he stood before the open window, wishing the morning breeze could blow away his worries.

"I will have food brought in for us and water for a bath. Then we can continue on our journey before none is the wiser," he said without looking at her.

His feet led him towards the door. He needed to be away from her so he could clear his thoughts and find a way out of the terrible situation that held his thoughts captive.

He did not want to be with her, but he also did not want to lose her, which was the best decision he could make for her. Seeing her off to her aunt's was the last thing he would do for her before she would be out of his reach.

"I don't think I want to go," she said, making him pause just as his fingers grazed the knob.

"I beg your pardon?" he asked, wondering if he had heard correctly.her right.

"I do not wish to go to my aunt's. I thought about it all night, and there is no way I can leave my mother with my stepfather. I do not think I could ever stop worrying about her if I leave, so I simply won't run away," she said, smiling at him.

"Are you certain of your decision?" he asked her.

Her eyes held uncertainty even as she nodded. "I would be able to do as I please within the confines of my current station if I go to my aunt's. I will no longer have to live in fear of what my stepfather could do at any moment. However, my mother has no one to defend her when he tries to hurt her. I don't believe I can forgive myself if I leave and something happens to her."

She smiled sadly, looking out the window. "My plans had always been for the two of us. I admit that I panicked when Lord Worlington threatened to send me away. I cannot decide which is a worse fate. Staying home with him just to protect my mother or going to live with his dratted sister."

Her face had gone red with frustration. "So, while it pains me to give up on the freedom I have dreamed of for so long, I know I will not enjoy it if she is not there to enjoy it with me."

Samuel heaved a sigh mixed with relief and dread. "I see you have thought this through and made up your mind."

She nodded. "It was all I could think of last night."

Samuel nodded. "I will have hot water and breakfast sent up, and we will be on our way."

He walked out of the room, his troubles solidifying. It had been easier when his decision was merely to let her go live with her aunt or keep her with him. However, now that she would be close, Samuel did not know how he would stay away from her.

He clenched his jaw as he returned to the room to prepare for their journey back home. He ate in silence, the food tasting like ash in his mouth. Nothing was going the way he wanted it to go.

Nora sat opposite Samuel in the carriage, doing her best to look everywhere but at him. He had been absent-minded during dinner, only speaking when she asked him questions. It hadn't taken long for her to realize that there was something on his mind he did not wish to speak of. She had clammed up, hoping things would be better when he cleared his thoughts.

She held her bag tightly, looking out the window. Things hadn't turned out to be better. In fact, they had become worse. Samuel was cold towards her for reasons she could not understand.

"Is something wrong, Your Grace?" she asked him, unable to carry on with the silence a moment longer. She stared straight at him, waiting for him to answer.

They were still some distance away from her home, and sitting in awkward silence was not how she intended to spend the rest of their journey if it could be helped.

Nora tensed up as the Duke regarded her quietly. His dark blue eyes bored into hers. She tried to look beyond the walls that he always had up. He had been different with her the night before. Perhaps she could see past that and find out what it was that was making him guarded.

"Has something happened? Perhaps you could tell me, Your Grace," she said when she couldn't look past his walls. He was shutting her out, much like he always had in the past.

She had always felt like she knew nothing about him other than what he was willing to show her. Last night had filled her with hope that things could be different, but now it seemed like it was too good to be true. He had reverted to his old self.

"My feelings or the thoughts that keep me quiet are of no importance to you, Lady Nora," he said finally, turning away from her as he picked through the papers he had gotten from the innkeeper.

She stared at him in shock. "I apologize for intruding. I understand that you don't have to share every detail of what you are thinking merely because you opened up to me last night and told me things you have never told anyone."

"Quite so, Lady Nora," he said, rifling through the papers for the current affairs.

The carriage trundled on in silence as Nora sought a way to keep herself busy, so she did not have to deal with the thought of the Duke and the reason for his sudden coldness towards her.

"You were right for wanting to end our agreement," he said suddenly, not looking up from the papers.

She flinched. After making her decision to return home, picking up where they left off was the one thing she had begun to look forward to. She had hoped that they could continue with it, at least until her seven nights were over and he no longer wished to see her.

It appeared she was right, after all. The moment he offered her help, he would no longer wish to continue.

But why come after me? A sense of responsibility? The gentlemanly thing to do?

She massaged her head, the thoughts causing her a mild headache that was more bothersome than hurtful.

"I had hoped that we could?—"

He raised his hand, cutting her off before she could finish what she wished to say. She stared at him desperately, unable to understand what was going on.

Why are you so cold?

"We cannot continue, Lady Nora. I wish I could give you what you want, but I cannot marry you or make you happy," he said.

She scoffed disbelievingly as she crossed her arms over her chest protectively. "I never asked you to marry me, Your Grace. I am quite aware of what our deal was. It was never about marriage for either of us."

Nora glared at him, irritated by his words. They irritated her not only because he had uttered them when she knew not to ask him for them, but also because she had started to hope for more.

A part of her had begun to hope that his presence in the carriage, stopping her from leaving and telling her his secret meant that he had begun to have feelings for her, but it appears that it had only been a moment of weakness on his part.

She laughed.

Is the Duke ever weak?

All of this could have been because he merely wished to even things out since she had volunteered information about herself and her past, even though he hadn't asked for it in the first place.

"I apologize if my words have caused you any level of discomfort, Lady Nora. It was never my intention. I merely wished to inform you how things are to be." He folded the papers and stared at her. "We are approaching familiar grounds soon, so I'll let you go here. I'm glad you were able to come to a decision. I only wish you had been able to achieve what you truly desired."

Nora panicked. His words sounded like a goodbye. Like he would no longer be seeing her from now on. She didn't want it to be goodbye, and yet she knew it was only wise to keep her thoughts to herself.

Although their seven nights had not ended the way they were supposed to, he had promised her nothing more, and now there was nothing keeping them in contact.

She nodded in acceptance, biting her lip to stop it from quivering. She had never been great at goodbyes, which was one of the reasons why she mostly kept to herself.

"Of course, Your Grace. Thank you for coming to my aid."

Samuel regarded her for a moment, his eyes scanning her face. He sighed and rapped on the roof of the carriage, and alighted the moment it stopped.

She watched, finally allowing the whimper she'd held back in his presence to break free. She would miss him, that much was obvious. The nights had come to mean more than just a means to make money for her. She had come to enjoy his company, and she had fallen in love with him.

"There you go. That's what you get for loving a man who doesn't care for you," she said with a wry smile, sniffling quietly. She rested her head on the back of her seat, closing her eyes as she tried to forget all about it.

At the moment, there were more important things for her to worry about, and that was how she would navigate her way into the estate. It would be a miracle if the Viscount had not noticed her absence just yet, although she could not see how that could be possible. She had been out of the estate for too long away.

"Where have you been?" the iscount said as soon as Nora stepped into the house.

She had had the carriage drop her at the back of the estate, away from prying eyes. She'd quickly discarded the bag she'd carried and walked in only to be greeted with the sight of the angry Viscount waiting for her at the foot of the stairs.

"I was—" She stopped, unable to come up with a reasonable excuse as to why she had been absent all night long. She eyed him. How much does he know?

"How could you spend the night out?" he asked as his face burned with fury. "Have you no shame? Sneaking out to spend the night with a man?"

Nora gasped, her eyes widening as she stared at him in shock.

He shook his head, his disappointment clear. "Did you think I wouldn't find out that you were out with some unknown man? How long has this been going on? How long have you been sneaking out under my roof?"

He advanced towards her threateningly as his hands balled into fists. "Answer me right now."

Nora backed away from him, but she could see in his eyes that she had made a mistake, as the action only served to aggravate him some more. He lifted his hands and slapped her across the face.

She fell on the floor, the force from the slap enough to have her toppling over. She stared up at him in shock. The Viscount had almost always refrained from hitting her, focusing mostly on her mother instead. However, there were times like this when he was so angry that he did not care for anything other than satisfying his anger.

"Not only have you chosen to disgrace this household by spending the night with a man, but you have also chosen to humiliate yourself. How could you have been so stupid as to ruin your reputation?" he bellowed.

Nora's eyes widened as she sought the nearest escape. She had made a terrible mistake by choosing to return home instead of running away. Now that it seemed her secret was out in the open, the Viscount would only have a stonger hold over her.

"Imagine my surprise when I found out that you were responsible for spreading those horrid rumors about yourself. I chose not to believe it because, surely, no one would be so stupid as to do such a thing. But now I find out that not only did you ruin your reputation, but you also chose to spend the night alone with heaven knows who," he roared, pacing the hall.

Nora looked at her mother, who stood behind the Viscount, pleading with him to forgive her, even though he paid her no mind.

"Nora, how could you have done such a thing?" she asked in a tone filled with worry and concern.

SheNora glanced down in shame. She could not very well tell her mother why she had done it, as that would only make her feel terrible and make her stepfather take his anger out on her even more.

"The only reason I did not try to find you a husband was because I thought the rumors about you having been caught in the arms of a man and fleeing were true," he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "Who would want a soiled lady, and one who is renowned at that? And now I find out that you were responsible for it."

He glared at her as she picked herself up from the ground and stared at him. She would not allow him to make her feel ashamed of the choices she had to make. If it hadn't been for his destructive ways, she never would have done so.

She clenched her mouth shut, knowing that whatever she said or did would only cause him to be more aggravated.

"Now that I know that it was all your doing, I will see to it that you are married," he said, clamping his hand around hers before she realized what was going on. He dragged her towards her room as the panic set in and she tried to free herself from his grasp.

The Viscount pushed her into her room, an ugly smirk on his lips. "You will not be leaving this estate until I have found you a suitor."

"What? No, please no." Nora ran towards him just as the door slammed shut.

She grabbed the handle, turning it even as she heard the key turning into the room, making her a prisoner.

She tried the handle once more, her mind refusing to accept what she knew was true. She slid down against the door when nothing happened, her heart breaking and her mind reeling with shock.

No…