Chapter 14: Will

Chapter 14: Will

It felt like a gunshot ringing in my ears. I woke up with a start, tugging at my chest, expecting to see blood. There was so much pain emanating from my ribs that I felt like screaming. It had been a dreamless sleep, but at the last moment, I woke up to the sound of Alexis taking my name.

My body was sweating, and I was panting to catch my breath. My first instinct was to use my bond with her to see if she was all right. However, when I had earlier tried to use my bond, all I had gotten in return was just darkness. How would this time be any different?

Outside, the pack members had gone back to their homes and were sleeping off the events of the previous night. Today had been a very lazy day, at least for me. I just watched as most of the members of the pack helped put the commune back together, reinforced the boundaries, and made communal meals for everyone who had taken part in the battle. Most people were just happy to be alive and to have survived that ambush by the vampires. Some of them were feeling particularly brave after having beaten all of those vampires with a wolf within their midst.

The way they looked at me had changed considerably. There was more respect in their gaze, more reverence in their words, and whenever they approached me, they did so with a politeness that I felt was entirely involuntary on their part. Their behavior toward me was that of a deity. I figured that having seen me come back from the dead and then just within a short time after that, witnessing my transformation must have reinforced the impression that I was some form of a supernatural creature of myth rather than just an ordinary werewolf like them.

While I wandered around the commune during the day, the people kept discussing over and over again the events of last night. The women talked of Alexis and how she had taken down several vampires to get the women and children back to safety.

Knowing that Alexis had come to my aid and had assisted the pack made me feel happy. But it was a bittersweet happiness, given that Alexis had shortly disappeared after her feat of bravery. The question remained, where had she disappeared? Ever since she had rescued the kids and the women, no one had seen her anywhere near the commune or even in the city.

When I tried to use my bond throughout the day, all I got was radio silence. Had she done something to sever our bond? Did such a spell exist that revoked one’s matehood? I feared for the worst yet kept hope alive in my heart that the worst had not yet transpired. There was only one possibility other than the severing of our bond that would result in such silence from her end.

Her death.

If Alexis were dead, then it would break me beyond repair. I toiled with that thought all afternoon, and when I was unable to come to terms with it, I fell asleep, only to wake up to the sound of her ringing in my ears and my body aching as if it had been shot with a shotgun at point-blank range.

I raced out of my home and stepped out into the clear night. Unlike the ill-omen night of yesterday, tonight, the sky was clear, giving plenty of stars a chance to shine their light and the moon to suspend majestically in the cloudless blue horizon.

There was no one outside except for me. On second thought, I should have worn something warm. I shivered on my way to Vincent’s home, where I could see that the lights were turned on inside. I knocked just loud enough that he would hear me if he were already awake, not if he was fast asleep.

Upon my third knock, Vince opened the door. I could see from his face that he had not been sleeping. The odor coming from him told a story involving many strong alcoholic drinks and some tobacco.

“I never knew you to be a smoker,” I said.

“I’m not. It’s just…a very hard time for me right now,” Vince said, slurring his words as drunks often do.

“Why are you so inebriated?” I asked, feeling a bit angry at his compromised disposition. The Vincent I knew was a man of strong character and never let anything get him down. I pushed my way into his home and closed the door behind me, secretly thankful that Vince had the central heating on in his home. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Trust me, I’m fine. I was just taking all of dad’s old things and throwing them out of my home. I don’t want anything of that sick old freak in my home. When I was done throwing everything out, the only two things that remained were a pack of Virginia Slims and a bottle of whiskey that he had tied a bow on top. I’m guessing it was for some special occasion. Anyway, I decided that it’d be a better use for both things that I smoked the cigs and drank the whisky rather than throw them out. One thing led to the other, and here I am. Although, I will admit I am feeling a bit gloomy,” Vince said.

“Cut that out,” I said sternly, heading into Vincent’s kitchen to prepare some coffee. I needed him sober right now, not in this drunken state. Vince sat down behind me on the kitchen counter, rubbing his head.

“I might be drunk, but I’m aware enough to hear your troubles and help you with anything. I am the second in command, after all. So, what is it?” he asked.

I passed him a cup of black coffee and waited for him to take a few sips before unburdening myself on him.

Vincent drank the steaming cup of coffee, then shook his head vigorously. “Goddamn, that’s strong.”

“Listen to me,” I said, seating myself beside him. “Something is going on, and I am not entirely certain what it is. It’s about Alexis.”

Upon hearing her name, all traces of drunkenness were dispelled from Vincent’s face. He took another sip of coffee, then stared at me intently, hanging on to my every word.

“She’s not here. People have looked for her all around the commune and even in the city, but there isn’t a single sign of her anywhere. I have tried to use my bond with her, but all I’m getting back is pure darkness. I could do with your assistance,” I said, taking a sip from my coffee.

“She can’t be dead,” Vincent said. “Last I checked, you were still her mate. A mate feels the death of his woman so terribly that the pain becomes more than just emotional agony. It transforms into physical anguish that grips your entire body. At least, that’s what the elders used to say. Or the romantic wolves who used to write poetry after their mates had died. In any case, you haven’t had any such pains, have you?”

It made me suddenly very afraid to mention the pain I had experienced when I woke up, but in the face of the greater issue, I chose not to hide things and told Vincent what I had felt and how I had heard her voice.

“That’s not bad news, then!” Vince said with fervor, getting up from his stool all of a sudden. “Have you tried tapping into the bond right now?”

“I’m trying, but it’s all silent. That’s why I am so afraid,” I said.

“But she contacted you. So she’s alive. Now that that’s out of the way let’s ascertain in which condition she’s alive. For someone to be so untethered, they’d have to be quite weak and injured. Do you think something bad has happened to her? Is that why maybe the bond isn’t working as it is supposed to?” Vincent asked.

I didn’t respond right away. Instead, I focused on our bond and closed my eyes, hoping to contact her. All I could see was pure darkness.

Alexis? I called out, praying to all the gods that she’d respond.

It was then that I heard her voice, so faint, so weak, but unmistakably hers: I’m stuck somewhere terrible.

I gasped in pain as the bond intensified, allowing me to feel what she was feeling. She was experiencing crippling pain all over her body. Alexis was tied, and her mouth had been taped. But I still could not see where she was.

“She’s alive,” I whispered, my body covered in sweat for the second time since I woke up. I struggled to stand up, holding Vincent for support. “But she’s been beaten up, tied down, and weakened. That’s why the bond isn’t working as I want it to.”

I looked into Vincent’s eyes and saw that he was completely sober and just as worried as I was.

“There’s no time to waste. I have to go find her,” Vincent said.

“Why you? Why not me?” I asked, feeling my temperature rise.

“Because you’ve just been the Alpha for less than a day. The pack needs you for guidance. You can’t just go on your solitary quests like before. You’re accountable to the people. They need you more than ever. Let’s face it; you don’t know the lay of the land as well as I do. Logistically speaking, Alexis couldn’t have gone far in a single day. At least not that far. We can assume that wherever she is, she’s close by. Don’t forget that Blair and my dad are still out there, and if either of them came across her last night, they might have kidnapped her as retribution,” he said.

“I will not sit idly by while her life is in danger,” I growled.

“Then do the wise thing. Delegate the task to your pack members. Have half of them go look in town and see if Blair has had anything to do with it, and have the other half go see if this is Maurice’s doing. I’ll go and scout the entire area and see if the surviving vampires have taken her. It’s a lot of work to do, and it needs a lot of people. You can’t go on spreading yourself too thin. For fuck’s sake, you’re the alpha. So many lives depend on you. Not just Alexis’s!”

I grabbed Vincent by his shoulders and shook him. “Don’t you see how hard it is for me to just wait and do nothing?”

“You’re not doing nothing!” Vincent spoke loudly. “You’re our leader, our captain, our alpha. While you’re here in the pack, no one can attack us, knowing that you are alive and have returned and are ready to defend your people and your land from any threat that comes your way. You need to start trusting other people, especially those in your pack. Look. I’m not even going to wait for the morning. I’m going to scout for Alexis right now.”

With that, he started putting on his shoes and his jacket.

“If you come across danger, you call me,” I said, handing him his phone.

“Ah, the student has become the master,” Vincent said whimsically. “I remember a day when you didn’t trust these phones.”

“Well, needs must when the devil drives,” I said bitterly. “I still don’t trust these phones, but I have got to admit that they’re convenient.”

“Protect the pack. Their very lives depend on you. Imagine what would have happened if you hadn’t shown up last night. We would have all been dead,” Vincent said.

“You have my word,” I said, waving at him as he left his home.

In the silence of his home, I tried to use my bond again, but this time, just as before, all I got back was darkness. Pain, silence, and darkness.

***

It was the break of dawn when I rang the bell at the commune center, assembling all the men in the square. They were still rubbing their eyes, yawning, and stretching their limbs as they gathered around me.

“We are not out of danger,” I began. “Two threats still exist out there. I do not ask a lot of you, just that you go in groups and see what Blair and Maurice are doing. I must implore you not to go alone. These are cunning men who possess more than just weapons and wits. They have trickery up their sleeves and many devious resources at their disposal, making them a force to reckon with. Today, none of us shall rest until we can ascertain that both those parties are no longer an immediate threat to us. Go where you have to, whether it’s in the town or the areas around it. Scour every last bit. Report back to me if something dubious is happening. If there’s a reason to attack, we attack as one. A pack’s strength is in its unity. Whatever we have to do, we’ll do it together.”

“What if we come across Maurice? Last time I checked, he was still the mayor,” a man asked from the pack.

His question roused the rest of the crowd, all of whom started sharing their suggestions of what they’d do to him if they found him.

“No. There will be none of that. He’s a werewolf. Even though he has betrayed us time and again, he must pay for his crimes. Justice should prevail over revenge. If he’s found, he must be brought here to answer for all his wrongdoings. There will be a fair trial,” I said. “Of course, all the evidence against him will eventually prove him guilty. Of that, there’s no doubt. But regardless, he will get his trial. You cannot kill him if you find him. Only the alpha holds such authority. However, I do permit you to kill any vampires that you come across. They didn’t mean to spare us, so why should we?”

The crowd became rejuvenated at the prospect of hunting vampires. Many men started chanting, shouting, and cheering amongst themselves. I wasn’t done yet. I held up my hand and silenced them all.

“Half of you will go into the town today. You will see what Blair is doing if he’s there at all. Chances are that he’s gone into hiding after yesterday’s events. You will carry out a search nonetheless. The other half will check Fiddler’s Cove and all the adjoining areas. You will also check to see if Maurice is lurking around. Keep in mind that most of his resources are tied up in the town, giving him little reason to escape. Should either group come across Blair or Maurice, I ask that you bring them alive back to the commune to face justice for their crimes.”

I had to give the men some specific instructions on how to carry out the scouting mission. When all was done, and both groups of men were sent out to their respective missions, I wasted no second and assembled all the women and children in the same square.

“Last night was a challenge for all of you. Many of you have not fought at all, what with so many of you being children and young girls. Some of you fought valiantly, I have heard. I intend for all of you to equip yourselves with the tools and techniques that allow you to fend for yourselves whenever something like this happens again. As far as I am concerned, every one of you is a werewolf. A werewolf should strike fear into the heart of their enemies. We should all be strong enough to hold our own. Those who seek to cause us harm should cower from us, not the other way around. Let last night be a reminder that danger is always lurking nearby and that every single one of us should be ready at all times. Now, I don’t expect everyone to become a skilled warrior within a day or two, but what we can do is start learning. Is that something that all of you can agree upon?”

The women and children were silent at first but slowly began nodding and voicing their acknowledgment.

“Then we shall start a separate training session for the kids and the women so that we’re all ready for anything that comes our way,” I said, passing a smile at the crowd gathered before me. “Know this: You are all Grimms, and the Grimms are a strong creed. We have weathered the worst of storms and have seen empires rise and fall. We will persevere.”

After the children and women were dismissed, I tried to do everything within my power to hold myself back from going out. Vincent was right. This was a leap of faith, a trust fall. As hard as it was for me to stay behind, it was essential that I did. It was the only way I could bring myself to trust my pack and believe in them.

Otherwise, I was bound to make the same mistake as I did last time. Had I attacked Beckett Tower that night with the entire pack with me, Alexis and I would have been spared that humiliating defeat.

While the men were off on their missions and the women and children were busy with their chores and schoolwork, I walked around the outer boundary wall of the Grimm Abode, checking to see if the fortifications were intact. It was tiring work, as the boundary extended several miles, but by the end, I had exhausted myself enough to put my mind off Alexis.

It was late in the afternoon that I came back home quite weary from my inspection. Rather than eat or drink, I sought the comfort of my bed.

Sleep would do me good, considering that I’d had several sleepless nights in a row.

Or so I thought.

It wasn’t very deep into my sleep that I was greeted by the most visceral and horrible nightmare I had ever seen in my life.

It was Alexis, covered in blood, her face lifeless and frozen in an expression of pure fear. She lay sprawled all over the floor. I tried as hard to avert my gaze from her face, but my own fear prevented me from looking anywhere else.

Her eyes had been torn out, leaving two hollow and bloodied sockets.

I woke up screaming, and it wasn’t until I had made my throat hoarse that I realized from the alarm clock on my bedside table that I’d only been asleep for half an hour. The sun was still out, and people were gathered outside in the commune.

To hell with waiting and watching.

I shot out of my bed, got hurriedly dressed, and exited my home, adamant that I’d return only when I’d found Alexis.

In all my years of witnessing horror and experiencing torture, I had never come across something so mortifying as that nightmare. Even now, when I was completely awake, that sinister vision danced before my eyes menacingly.