Chapter 25

They didn't say a word to one another until the carriage took off. Holding hands the entire time as if to let go might see the other disappear, their silence was anything but awkward. It felt right. Natural. As if just being in the other's presence had a healing effect that they were both in desperate need of.

That, and Felicity had no idea what to say.

She felt like a fool. An idiot. A colossal moron who didn't deserve to be forgiven. How had she not seen those letters for what they were? How had she been able to think that of the Duke? That pained her the most, how readily she had accepted them, how little she had thought of him because of it. It had been so easy and, for that, she might never forgive herself.

So, the silence was needed as Felicity got her thoughts in order. Her heart pounded such that she worried he might hear it. Her palms sweated so that she worried he might pull his hand away. The only thing that kept her sane was the smile he wore the entire time and the look of adoration in his eyes.

Once they were in the carriage, however, once the doors were closed and it was moving, she knew that she had to say something. Sitting beside His Grace, still holding his hand, she turned and looked at him.

"I am so --"

"Do not dare say you are sorry." He reached over and rested his other hand atop their two. "I do not want to hear it."

"But --"

"You did nothing wrong." He looked down at her, raising an eyebrow as if daring her to argue. "You were tricked and that is all there is to it."

"But I should not have been!" she said with forlorn in her heart. "I should not have been so ready to believe those letters!"

"And why not? From what I read, you had no reason not to believe them."

"But... but... but..."

He chuckled. "Have I ever told you how cute you are when you're upset."

"I am not upset," she huffed. "I am annoyed."

"That too."

"So, you are not mad with me? I was all but ready to pretend that you did not exist. That... that I hated you."

He still looked at her. His dark eyes looked through her, seeming to pierce her soul. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"How did it make you feel, when you thought those letters were from me?"

"Wh -- what do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. How did you feel? Were you happy? Were you sad? Were you relieved because it meant that our engagement had ended."

"How could you ask that!"

"So, you weren't any of those things?"

"I was broken," she admitted, saying the words without worrying how they sounded. Glad to get them out, to speak, rather than having them live inside her. "I could not breathe. I could not think. I... I have never hurt so much. It was a nightmare I could not wake from. It was a sickness inside of me that would not leave. When I thought you wanted nothing to do with me..." Her chin began to tremble and, despite herself, the tears came. She looked away. "I wished I have never met you because it would have saved me the heartache I felt."

The Duke reached out and touched under her chin, forcing her to look at him. She nearly gasped when she saw the tears in his eyes, to match her own. And the smile he wore... it was enough to dry them from her cheeks.

"I felt all that and more. When Lady Beatrice told me that you wished for nothing to do with me..." He chuckled. "Well, I think you said it best. I could not see the point in living because there was no point. And you know what is so funny?"

"What?"

"A small part of me doesn't regret it. Is even glad for it."

She pulled away. "How could you say that?"

"Because it made me realize something." He hesitated and she could see the fight behind his eyes. "All this time, I was lying to myself. I wanted this to be transactional. I wanted it to be a business relationship. I wanted to not feel the things for you that I do but now, thanks to this, I know there is no point in pretending." A smile next, one which told her what he was going to say before he said it. "I love you, Lady Felicity. I love you more than words can express."

Love... a word that she dared not think of. Oh sure, all that had happened, Felicity had considered the possibility that she loved His Grace. But she had laughed it off, for surely she must have been losing her mind? She could not love His Grace because there was no way he could love her. He was incapable of love, as was she, for that matter.

But the more she thought of it, the more she considered how she had felt these past few days, the more she realized the truth. It was a truth she saw in His Grace's eyes. A truth she felt in his touch. A truth that filled this carriage like oxygen. And in that, she knew there was one thing left she had to say to make it so.

"I love you too."

A smile crossed his lips and he leaned forward to kiss her and she kissed him right back. It had been only a few days since their last but this felt like the first in a lifetime. Maybe their first ever for the way it wrapped them in its cloak, held them together, confirmed all that had been said and more. She felt it in her heart, in her very soul. The taste of him, the way his hands held her as they kissed... she might never want to stop.

"Oh!" she pulled back when she realized something. "Lord Moore! We left him."

"Oh..." The Duke clicked his tongue. "Right. We did, didn't we?" he chuckled. "Well, how about this. We get you home and then I will go back for him? Knowing Harry, he will find his own way."

"Home?" For some reason, that had her chest tightening.

"Yes, home," he said. "You do wish for me to take you home?"

When Felicity had first thought the Duke had ended things with her, she had known it was because she would not sleep with him until the wedding. That was all he wanted from her anyway, and to deny him was to slap him across the face. She had been glad in that way, that she had said no when she did. If that was all he had wanted, then she had made the right choice.

Only now... now, it was different. Now, as the Duke held her hands, as he looked into her eyes, as she felt him in a way she never had before, there was one thing that Felicity wanted, and it wasn't to go home.

"I think... I think I would like to go back to your home."

"My..." He blinked as the realization dawned on him. "Are you sure?"

She took his hands and kissed them. "I am."

He grinned, his eyes lighting up. "You know what, Harry can find his own way home I think." And then, just to emphasize the point, he leaned in and kissed her again.

Felicity wasn't nervous, even if she thought she should be. But whenever she felt nerves, or anything close to it, she reminded herself who she was with and that seemed to quell them. This right here... it was as natural as breathing, and she should treat it as such.

And the Duke, sensing her pending nerves, knowing that she must be, was the perfect gentleman. At least, at first.

He kissed softly down her neck as he slowly undid the ties on the front of her dress. She lay on his bed, eyes closed, head leaning back, purring as each kiss licked gently at her skin. They sent small pulses through her body, and already she was shaking.

The front of her dress suddenly came open and the Duke moved his lips from her neck to her breasts. His lips wrapped around her right nipple, sucking until she felt it turn stiff. Then he moved to her left, doing the same. She moaned and ran a hand through his hair, letting him know how much she enjoyed it. Because she did.

As he sucked her, his hands moved down to her waist, gripping tightly before shifting up the skirt of her dress. His fingers then traced lightly over her thighs, sending tingles through her body and deep inside her loins. Eyes still closed, she gave herself over to the moment, letting him take complete control until --

Her eyes shot open as his fingers traced the inside of her lips. She gasped as they entered her, and she writhed as he slowly pulled them out and then slipped them back in.

"How is that?" he asked, his voice low as he continued to kiss all around her chest and neck.

"More..." she moaned, not knowing what more might mean but knowing that she wanted it.

He chuckled as his fingers started moving faster inside of her. Then, somehow, his fingers still inside of her, he scrambled on top of her, straddling her as he buried his head into her chest. She grabbed a hold of his head with both hands, moaning now at the pleasure that shot through her body at his touch.

No idea what she was doing, she sensed the moment. Her hands moved down and slipped between his crotch and her stomach. She fiddled with the front of his pants, undoing them, her palms running flat along his crotch where she could feel how turned on he was.

"Oh... just like that..." he begged her.

"Like this?" She slipped a hand inside his pants and wrapped her hand around his manhood. His body went stiff, more so as she started to stroke.

The Duke leaned back, giving her room to pull his girth from inside his pants. His fingers were still inside of her, moving faster now, stroking her as much as they were slipping inside and out. And she stroked him back, eyes closed because she could not take the pleasure enveloping her entire body.

"Do you..." the Duke growled. "Are you ready?"

Her eyes opened and she saw him looking down at her, smiling. "I am."

His eyes lit up and he pulled himself back. He was quick then to climb from the bed and drop his pants and rip off his shirt, revealing a muscular body that she had seen before but not quite so... exposed. It elicited excitement in her, that feeling of blood pumping through her thighs increasing so they felt like they were on fire.

Then he was back on her, lifting her dress up so it was well above her waist. Her legs wrapped around him. He kept her thighs steady. He looked into her eyes and held her stare as slowly, carefully, he wiggled himself forward and entered her for the first time.

"Uhhh!" Her eyes went wide and she gasped, unable to voice the pleasure she felt; the noises escaping her lips enough to show the Duke how much she did.

He fell forward, still inside of her, her legs still wrapped around him. Holding her now around the buttocks, he kissed her full on the lips, a savage hunger to it that she had come to recognize. Their tongues lapped in their mouths. He bit and nibbled on her lips. He ate her face like a ravenous wolf as he began to thrust back and forth. Slowly, at first. Long, deep thrusts until she became used to it. And then, he started to go harder.

What had she been so worried about? Why had she been so concerned? Felicity had worried that once the Duke slept with her once, he would want to move on. He would grow bored and look for another. That to give him this would be to surrender herself and, in that way, lose. As if this was all she was good for.

What she hadn't realized was how much she would enjoy it, also. And not just the sex, but who she was having it with.

As the Duke thrust inside of her, harder and faster, he looked into her eyes and held her stare. He didn't smile. He didn't smirk. He simply looked at her, letting her know that she was the only one for him and he was the only one for her. This was about more than just pleasure. It was about the two of them, proving to one another that their love was real and permanent, and nothing could take that away.

This might have been the first time they made love, but it would not be the last. Strange that as the Duke continued to thrust and grind inside of her, Felicity began to think about the future. Their wedding. Their lives spent together. Children had. Happiness experienced. All the joys the world had to bring, and someone to share it with. Once, she had wanted to live alone, a life of freedom, she had called it. Now, she couldn't think of anything worse.

And so it was, that their first time making love acted as a sort of contract. An admittance from the two of them that this was more than what it had started out as. A marriage of convenience turned into a love match turned into two souls who would spend the rest of their lives together.

And where Felicity could not wait for all that, for now... well, she figured she best pay attention. With the Duke on top of her the way he was, with him inside of her as he began to go harder and faster and deeper, as good as everything would be, this right here was pretty darn amazing too.

Best that she enjoyed it for all it was worth.