Chapter 20

Felicity was in her bedroom when His Grace finally came to see her.

It was mid-morning the day after she had received the fateful letter and she was sitting at her desk, writing in her diary as she had been doing all morning, most of last night, and all of yesterday afternoon. Still, she refused to shed a tear – she did not want to waste them. But she needed a way to shed herself of this rotten feeling that welled inside of her, that tore at her, that stabbed at her heart as if trying to slowly bleed her.

So, she wrote.

The letter that His Grace had sent her lay open beside her. She had read it so many times now that she knew it by heart. But it helped to have it there, as if to fuel the words that poured from her pen as she tried to make sense of what had happened.

Oh yes, by now she was not at all surprised by the Duke's actions. The only thing that surprised her was how caught off guard she was – that she had not seen it coming. And where it took her some time to work out why he had chosen this moment to end things, for there must have been a specific reason, she had long since come to terms with that also.

And so it was that she was writing when she saw him.

From her desk, she had a perfect view of the front of the manor. The drive that wound through the garden and stretched to the gate that sat open today. Head bent over her desk, she saw him appear out of the corner of her eye, sitting atop his horse as he casually steered it toward the front door.

The feeling that overtook her at the sight of him... she did not know how to describe it. Anger, sure. Fury, most certainly. But there was sadness too. Still, even after what he had done, to see him in the light of day brought pain that she could not fathom, for she had never experienced such a thing. A broken heart, it was, an entirely new sensation.

Why did people do this to themselves? Felicity had spent a lifetime avoiding love, and for good reason! Now, the first time she had dared to let it take her, it had spurned and broken her such that she was all but certain she would never bother again. A spinster, indeed.

She stayed seated at her desk as the Duke slowly made his way toward the front of the manor. And the manner in which he did, so casual, so laid back as if nothing was wrong... it made her want to stand, go downstairs, and scream in his face until she passed out.

But she would not do that. She would not give him the satisfaction. Not even sure if he would bother coming to see her, it was decided that if he dared, she would not be the one to take his call. That honor was reserved for her father.

And indeed, no sooner had the Duke reached the front of the house did she see the front door open beneath her window as her father stormed from it like the fury of a thousand suns.

At the sight of her father, knowing how enraged he was, Felicity could not help but smirk. This was going to be fun.

"Ah, Lord Drowshire, a pleasure to see you, as always," His Grace greeted her father. He climbed down from his horse and looked about as if expecting someone to hurry on over and take the reins. "Is your lovely daughter in?"

"What are you doing here?" her father growled. He stood at the base of the steps, arms folded, stance widened in a manner that suggested he expected His Grace to try and charge past him.

"What am I..." His Grace looked confused by the question. "I am here to see your daughter."

"She doesn't want to see you."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, she does not want to see you," her father barked, temper rising. "Not now. Not later. Not ever!"

For reasons that Felicity could not understand, His Grace looked confused by this, but she supposed that just spoke to the man's arrogance. So self-obsessed that he just expected Felicity to agree to see him so that he might explain in person why he was ending things – so he might lie to her! She knew why he had, and she certainly didn't need to sit through a feigned apology designed purely for making himself feel better. No, thank you.

"I do not... is everything all right, Lord Drowshire?" He chuckled softly, as if hoping it might break the tension. "You seem a tad upset."

"It is over, Your Grace." Her father almost sounded pleased. Oh sure, he had been heartbroken for his daughter when he'd read the letter. But he had never much liked His Grace to begin with, so this right here was a vindication of that dislike. "You and my daughter. From this point onwards, you are to forget that the two of you ever met – you will never see her again. Is that clear?"

His Grace blinked. Gave his head a shake. "Forgive me, but I am feeling a little lost." Another attempt at a disarming chuckle. "Is Lady Felicity home? Your daughter? If she is, might I --"

"Are you deaf! I said that you will never see her again. Never speak with her again. You will not even think of her. Do I make myself clear?"

It was the strangest thing.

The look the Duke wore at her father's announcement was one of such surprise that Felicity was certain she had to be misreading it. The way he looked at her father, the way he reared back, brow scrunched, expression confused and taken aback. It was almost as if...

No! Felicity turned away, refusing to fall for the Duke's tricks as she had done once already. This was all part of his game, a means to get past her father and see her. But what did he hope to accomplish? What was even the point of his coming here?

She asked herself the question, knowing the answer immediately. It was the same reason he had ended their engagement in the first place. Not stated outright but the fact that he was here, now, behaving this way all but confirmed it.

His Grace had ended their engagement because Felicity had refused to sleep with him until after the wedding.

"Does Lady Felicity know of this..." His lip curled. "... this decision of yours? Or have you locked her up inside?"

"I think it is time that you leave."

"Please..." His voice cracked. "Five minutes. That is all I ask. I do not know why this has – if you will just let me see her."

"I would die before letting you inside, Your Grace."

"You cannot keep me from her," His Grace said, tone turning toward anger. He took a half step toward her father, who braced himself for contact.

"Try me," her father dared him.

Did a more repugnant man exist? It was hard to imagine. When His Grace had first made this proposal to Felicity, she had known that was the reason he had come to her. The real reason. But he was cleverer than she could have ever imagined, more ruthless, more vile. He had lured her into a false sense of security, making her believe his intentions were pure. He made her fall for him, all so he could seduce her into his bedroom as he had likely done on countless occasions before with countless other women.

Through the pure grace of God, Felicity had turned him down, wanting to wait until marriage as was right. And as for His Grace? Even now, after ending their engagement, was back, figuring that he might try a final time.

"Lady Felicity!" His Grace called out. "Please! Lady Felicity!"

Felicity moved back from the window so there was no chance that His Grace might see her. But her heart broke when she heard the strain in his voice. It sounded as if it was filled with pain, as if he was truly hurting just as she was...

"Go home, Your Grace!" her father roared triumphantly. "Neither my daughter nor I ever want to see you again!"

"Lady Felicity!" he cried one final time. "Lady Felicity! Please! See me! Speak to me! I know you are there!"

It was all a trick. A ruse. This was the Duke's final effort to lure her into bed. Felicity repeated that mantra to herself as she ignored the Duke's cries, how sorry he sounded, how unsure. If she did not know any better, she would have said he was as surprised by this as she was! Only that could not be, which spoke to the kind of man he was and what he was willing to do to get his way.

She rose from her seat and crossed the room through the door, then closed it behind her to muffle the sound of his cries. There, she collapsed onto the floor, back to the closed door, knees pulled into her chest. And finally, nearly a day after it had first happened, Felicity allowed herself to cry.

The Duke had won. He had forced tears from her. He had broken her, was what he had done. And as she held her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth, shaking uncontrollably, she knew one thing to be true. Marriage, love, romance... she would never waste her time on such follies again. A spinster until the end.