Chapter 28

28

“You need to leave,”Jane said as she intertwined her fingers with Richard’s. “But I don’t want the next minute, the next hour to come.”

His hand was so large compared to hers. His hand that had just been in her most intimate places, bringing her unspeakable pleasure…

In the aftershocks of the most intense experience of her life, Jane lay pressed against Richard’s side, resting her head on his strong chest, hearing the loud, steady thumping of his heart. And as her own heart beat in the very same rhythm as his, with every thump that passed, she knew she was falling in love with him.

The man who’d just ruined her. The man with whom she had to break off her engagement…

No, no, no. She didn’t want to think. All she wanted was to feel his hard, hot body wrapped around her, inhale his scent, and breathe. Never in her life had she felt like this. This wonder at what her body could do under his guidance. This feeling of warmth and acceptance that she had when she was with him. Even when she said no to him, he was still here. And unlike other members of the ton, he made her feel like she belonged in his world.

“Just a few more minutes,” she allowed, wrapping her arm tighter around his torso. “Then you should, indeed, leave.”

Suddenly, he tightened his arms around her and pulled her up to straddle him. She stared at his handsome face, as devils played in his blue eyes and his mouth curved in a mischievous smile.

“I don’t want the next minute to come, either, love,” he said.

He took her face in both of his hands and kissed her, his mouth hard and demanding, his beautiful tongue teasing and hot. She loved the feel of his long, hard, masculine body under hers.

“This doesn’t have to end,” he said when he leaned back a little. “I know we agreed to end this after we learned the information about Spencer, but I just ruined you, and I do not intend to leave you alone. Let me make this right. Let me marry you. All you have to do is just not say no.”

She inhaled sharply. Her heart beat hard as the seductive, wonderful thought of that made her muscles slack and her mind sharp. She wished it was possible. She loved him and didn’t want to imagine her life without him.

“Do not break off the engagement. I will not leave you dishonored, Jane.” He brushed his palm along her face. “You’re mine. You’ll always be mine. Mine to love, to cherish, mine to marry.”

His words were like honey on a wound, soothing and delicious and absolutely devastating. And yet, impossible.

“Richard,” she said, her voice trembling, “it doesn’t change the facts. I do not want to be a lord’s wife. I do not want Lady Whitemouth and the rest like her to look as though they just smelled something rotten when I enter a room.”

“They won’t. I dare every single one of them. And who cares about the countess and the ton? All that matters is you and me. Why do you care about their opinions so much? You’re a gentleman’s daughter, and you will be a gentleman’s wife.”

Jane rolled off his body and lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. The thin cracks that ran across it were like the cracks in her heart. She followed one in particular that she’d always thought formed the shape of northern Scotland—she’d often daydreamed of escaping to the rugged Highlands and living a simple life, and now she imagined for a moment that Richard could join her. How she wished they weren’t who they were. That they could just be happy, away from society. But in his life, it was impossible to live outside of society. And she could not leave her brother.

“I will never distance myself from Thorne,” she said.

And Thorne would always be a shadow on her reputation, a black mark in her lineage.

“I will never ask that of you,” said Richard.

“But you’re wrong. You might in the future. Because of the ton. And our children—they’d have Thorne as an uncle. That would taint their future prospects, too.”

He lay on his side and propped his head on his bent arm, facing her. “Jane, stop. It won’t.”

She tore her gaze away from the crack and met Richard’s eyes. His other hand lay on the middle of her chest, between her breasts. He had such an earnest expression, she knew he believed his own words. She saw the hope and the fear in the depths of his eyes.

“You think so now,” she said, laying her hand on top of his. She could feel the soft hair on the back of his large hand. “But one day, when your daughter can’t find a respectable husband because of my brother’s reputation, what then?”

He scoffed softly and slowly shook his head. “Any man that doesn’t see the beautiful person my daughter will be and who only thinks of her connections won’t be worthy of her anyway. And I’ll shoot anyone who tries to take advantage of her.”

She chuckled. “Like you’re taking advantage of me.”

His face lost all humor. “Yes. Let’s hope Thorne doesn’t find out. If he’d want to shoot me, I’d understand.”

Jane shook her head. “He won’t find out.”

“Though I intend to do the right thing by you and make you my wife. Please be reminded, Miss Grant, that it is you that refuses me. Even though I can clearly see that you like my touch, and you like being in my arms…”

And she loved him…

But she couldn’t say it.

“Besides, there’s the matter of my school.”

He frowned. “What about your school? I thought we had already addressed this. I’ve said more than once that I would support you.”

“Aren’t you worried it would take too much of my time? That I wouldn’t be the wife you want, a good mother to your children?”

He gazed at her with so much admiration her heart was going to burst. “Jane, I would never forbid you anything. I could never suffocate you like that. If you want to build your school, I’ll be the first one to hand you the bricks and the mortar. The time you spend away from me will only make me want you more. And our children would grow up knowing that their mother is kind and thoughtful and generous. A person of true integrity and strength.”

Her heart must have exploded with love for him. It was harder and harder to say no to him. She kissed him deeply, then sighed and rolled from under his hand and to the other side of the bed.

“Can you please just promise me one thing?” he said as she stood up.

Her head spun a little, her body slack and warm and lazy.

“What?” she asked as she picked up her chemise and put it on.

“Don’t break it off yet, darling,” he said. “We have the ball tomorrow night. Let’s attend the ball, as though everything is still the same. Let me show you that you actually do belong in the ton, if you want to belong there.”

She stilled, barely able to breathe. Walking in at his side, in the ball gown that made her look like royalty… Being in his arms as they danced, no one else existing but them… She really liked the sound of that. She was probably going crazy, but she considered it.

What would another day change?

“All right,” she said, grinning. “I won’t. Let’s go to the ball.”

* * *

Ruby Woods pressed her hand to her mouth as she leaned back from Jane’s door. The candle in her other hand flickered from her sharp exhale.

Ruby bit her lip and thought hard. Her dear Janie, Miss Grant, was ruined.

Mr. Blackmore must know it. Right away.

Quietly, Ruby stepped away from the door. Even in the darkness, she knew which floorboards creaked and which were safe. She tiptoed back along the hall and down the stairs. She went to Mr. Blackmore’s study, but he wasn’t there. He must be in the club.

As she made her way through the back door and emerged behind the dry marula tree with the huge snake that always gave her a fright, she looked around Elysium, which was crowded and loud. The women—whom she didn’t judge as her own mother had been one of those whores, and she’d never known her father—talked with the men, laughing and smiling seductively. The orchestra played something cheerful up in the gallery.

There were several male couples who kissed and others who talked with their faces tender and close. She didn’t mind that, either. She had long ago suspected that in a different world she’d have found herself a wife.

But Mr. Blackmore was nowhere to be seen as she made her way through the warm, drunken bodies. Not among the guests. Not at the back of the club. She even went outside briefly, into the dark street with palely illuminated windows.

Atticus stood with two of his men, one of them Reuben, talking quietly by the entrance.

“Atticus,” she said as she walked up to him. The men stopped talking, and all three of them nodded respectfully to her. They knew she’d been like a mother hen over Janie from the moment Mr. Blackmore had brought her home. So sad, so forlorn, like a little chick who’d lost her mother. “Do you know where Mr. Blackmore is?”

“Went out for business, Ruby,” said Atticus. “Is everything all right?”

Ruby sighed and looked into the dark street. “We will have to wait and see. When is he coming back?”

“I don’t have a bloody clue, Rubes.”

She nodded. “If you see him, tell him to find me in my chamber. Whatever the hour. I won’t sleep until I talk to him. All right?”

“Why?” Reuben frowned. “Is it about Janie?”

Ruby stared into the stout man’s dark eyes, hidden under his bushy eyebrows. She couldn’t tell them. It wasn’t their business. They may kill the good lord before Mr. Blackmore could decide what to do about it all.

“No, Reuben,” she said. “It’s not about Janie. But it’s something he must know right away.”

“All right, Rubes,” said Atticus. “We’ll tell him.”

She nodded and went around the building to enter the servants’ quarters. She would make herself coffee. She must not sleep until Mr. Blackmore knew the ruin of her mistress. He must force her to marry the shameless lord even if Janie didn’t want to.

It was for her own good.